KC Davis

This audio book is like 3 hours long and over the course of listening to it, I have already recommended it to at least 5 people. It's so kind. And so helpful. The reframing of day-to-day drudgery as care tasks alone is worth your time, but it's just the most hopeful, thoughtful book. My particular difficulties are all about trying to break myself away from obsessive cleaning so that I can make art and relax and this book is great for that, too. The goal is functioning. It's not a moral show more failing if the dishes aren't done. It's ok if you just reset the space when it becomes un-functional. Revolutionary. show less

first of all, i love the way she writes this book to neurodivergent/depressed/abused/etc people who might get just frustrated by "regular" cleaning tips and tricks, that make them feel like failures. so this book was not written totally for me, although i have some of the same troubles in figuring out how to clean/do care tasks. it also gives me some insight into what might make cleaning/care tasks easier for my adhd son, who definitely exhibits some of the speed bumps she talks about here.

i show more imagine the grace with which she writes to be such a comfort to people who really do feel a personal moral failure in having a house not as clean or organized as they want. i just can't get motivated to do what would actually make me feel better, once it was done, so those parts weren't as impactful for me. but i love that she acknowledges them. i also love the reframing she does. calling things care tasks, for example. you're doing it to take care of yourself, because you function better with it done, not because of any other reason. so you're taking care of yourself by doing these things.

personally, i think her 5 thing method of cleaning a room will be helpful to me. i'm usually paralyzed and don't know where to start or what to do, and i think this will help break that paralysis. there are other helpful tips along the way that i think i might actually be able to employ to my benefit, and i think there are others that i can suggest to my son or at least use to reframe (in my own head) how he's managing his space.

this is a helpful little book and i suspect she's a great therapist. show less

This little book is a quick, easy read and sure to be the most personally relevant self-help book I’ve ever read. I found KC Davis via someone else’s IG account, and watching some of her TIkTok videos nearly brought me to tears. I have struggled with housework for *years*, due to both disability and work schedules, and needed this kind, compassionate counselor to tell me that household chores are morally neutral and having a messy house does not make me a bad person, along with numerous show more practical strategies for making my house functionally clean.

Many Amazon critics of the book complain that the book is too short or that the information is already available in her TIkTok videos. I’d respond by saying that many of us struggling in this way don’t really want to read a long book! Also, yes, much of material is available in her videos — but (a) I found several gems of information that were new; (b) there is value I having it organized and searchable (I read the Kindle version. Well worth the money, for me.

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Edited to add review of new edition, April 27, 2022

Today I finished reading the expanded version of this book, published April 26, 2022, by Simon & Schuster. I stand by my previous review AND recommend this revised edition even more strongly. Davis’s message that care tasks are not moral acts is reinforced throughout, along with a great deal of practical advice and compassion.

“Care tasks exist for one reason only . . . to make your body and space functional enough for you to easily experience the joy this world has to offer.” [ch. 41, loc. 1435]

This expanded edition includes new chapters on body neutrality and on equity in care tasks and rest; in the latter Davis provides a unique and empowering perspective on dividing household chores by making rest fair and equitable, rather than the conventions of gender or paycheck contributions. If I were still teaching, this material would be new required reading in my gender and communication courses.

Five stars again, with thanks to #NetGalley for this advance copy. show less

This book strives to reset our mindsets. Society teaches us that to be a “good” person/parent/spouse we should have a neat, clean house. The author suggests that a neat, clean house is not an issue of goodness or badness; it’s a functional issue. We aren’t meant to be the servant to house. It is supposed to serve us. With that change in mindset, the goal is no longer perfection but function. On days when parenting, chronic pain, work, etc keeps us from completing a chore list or just show more picking or cleaning up, then do just what you need to do to make your house function for you. If you are up to doing more, great! But let go of the moral self-talk that you are not a good person if the stove isn’t wiped down, or you skip a load of laundry. The author provides numerous suggestions on how to tackle tasks. This is a good book that anyone who keeps home should read for their own wellbeing. show less