Janet Woititz (1938–1994)

"Time does not heal, the scars that burned me in my youth." - Dark Angel, 1991

This book primarily deals with 13 common traits among adult children of alcoholics. It can be quite the personal reading experience depending on the extent of your trauma, and it may put some pieces in your personal puzzles together. It might even find some missing pieces you were unaware of. At first, these traits, and what may have caused them in you, are established. This section also features excerpts from show more people who've also undergone some of these hardships which gives you a sense of not being alone. The traits are in general not exclusive to this type of upbringing and they may not all be applicable to you. They certainly weren't for me.
However, my eyes were opened up, as the book attached some words and experiences to some struggles I have been dealing with in life. Some of these I've previously just attributed to the fact that "well, I'm just introverted". To say it has been a liberating feeling almost doesn't do it justice. Janet Woititz does a great job touching on many mental ailments that stems from homes with addiction. Following the establishing of the traits, there's also a section on how to break the cycle for each trait, and some of the steps you can take. It's important to note that the book doesn't make itself out to be the great fixer, but a stepping stone for self improvement. And there is one word Miss Woititz mentioned the most to her clients: Patience.

Time does indeed not heal your scars. If left untreated, the sands of time may bury your scars in your subconscious, where they twist and linger without your control. Even though "Adult Children of Alcoholics" was released in 1983, and plenty has happened since, both in terms of society and studies, this book is still relevant, insightful and helpful. It sheds light on your scars, so you can begin your journey of healing towards the future you truly deserve.

Know this - you are not alone. You are never alone.
Live long and prosper! show less

A good book, outlining some of the most striking and common features of ACoA. It was a very interesting read, because it also gives clues and explanations regarding why such features are prevalent among most ACoA.

Is there a need to change, though? The author rightly insists several times: it's not about self-pity and making excuses (I am so-so-and-so because of my childhood etc.) but, understanding why, as ACoA, we are the way we are; and then make our own choices accordingly.

I give it show more only a three star because there's a lot of self promotion, it's repetitive in the last chapters and, most importantly, unlike the author I have trouble believing alcoholism to be a disease. I am not a doctor, but, from my experience, I think it's the product of personal choices -branding it a 'disease' just sounds (to me) like one of these pitiful excuses, serving a victim attitude. show less

An eye-opening look for adult children of alcoholics into why they feel and behave the way they do. This book helped me understand why, as an ACOA, I grew up lacking the same social skills that many take for granted. It gave me ideas on how to move past these reasons and understand the world as other people see it. The perspectives that an interested reader can gain from this book can be very valuable in understanding oneself and moving on with one's life.

I actually read this with a different addiction in mind, but it was still relevant. The psychological factors and family dynamics are similar. It was a good read, helped reinforce some of the healthier attitudes I've been trying to adopt.