Amy Ellis Nutt

I picked this book for my office's Equity and Social Justice book club this month; my husband got it for Christmas and read it in about a day. Given the shit shows we've seen in a few state legislatures this year, it's extremely relevant.

This book artfully tells the story of how Wyatt's family supported him on his journey to become Nicole, a transgender girl. Wyatt and Jonas were identical twins assigned the gender male at birth, adopted as babies by Kelly and Wayne Maines. From early on, show more Wyatt identified with more stereotypically feminine things: he played with dolls and liked the color pink. Both kids had great imaginations and liked to tell stories; when Wyatt would dress up, he would choose to wear things like tutus and sparkles. It was clear before Wyatt even entered preschool that he was gender non-conforming.

From a supportive elementary school to an non-supportive middle school, through a move where they kept Nicole's history a secret, to a lawsuit about appropriate accommodation. Through Kelly doing most of the heavy lifting of educating community members while Wayne tried to come to terms with the reality that he had a son and a daughter, not two sons, the family pushed on, finding that they at times had to fight just for Nicole to have the same basic access to things that all students have. Like a toilet.

Bathroom access is a very serious issue for transgender individuals. We're seeing this bullshit in places like North Carolina, where they are couching their bigotry and hatred in the 'protection of women.' Those legislators should all have to read this book, which explains in really great detail how gender identity, sexual orientation, and genitals are all different things. Just because most of us find our gender matches the one assigned us at birth doesn't mean that's always the case, or that there is anything wrong with those where that isn't the case. We all just REALLY need to stop being so concerned with what is in peoples' pants. show less

A marvelous introduction to transgender equality issues (and equality issues in general in public schools). The Maines family have to be thanked for their education, advocacy, and their admirable frankness. It can't be easy for anyone to fight for the rights their children deserve, or to balance such a fight against the needs of the family for privacy and "a normal childhood". Nutt shows the struggle for rights and the costs of that struggle, with no obvious efforts at myth making.

I cried show more pretty much every time someone chose to be kind, and every time something good happened, which was thankfully often. When my own state is being gratuitously cruel, Maine comes off as a great place.

Library copy show less

Despite having been born biologically male, Nicole Maines knew without a doubt from an early age that inside she was a girl, not a boy. Initially flummoxed, and then cautiously and, later, wholeheartedly supportive, her parents and twin brother journey with her as she grapples for acceptance in school and in her community, their fight for equality eventually leading to the Maine Supreme Court.

I had a difficult time putting this book down. Nicole's bravery in the face of discrimination at show more such a tender age, and her family's unwavering support in the face of incredible financial and social pressures, are awe-inspiring. show less

Imagine adopting a set of identical twin boys. You have big dreams for them, including doing all the rough-and-tumble boy things. That dream gets turned upside down when one of the twins announces he doesn’t want to be a boy, but would rather be a girl, instead. He opts for dolls, dresses, and other frilly girl things, as opposed to toy trucks, jeans, and other traditional boy things. As a parent, what are you supposed to do?

Kelly and Wayne Maines were faced with that exact question. show more Follow them and their children Jonas and Wyatt (later Nicole), as they navigate their way through this experience from bewilderment and questioning all the way to acceptance and advocacy for others with Gender Dysphoria.

This is not only the story of Nicole’s experience, but her entire family’s experience, as well. Nutt’s writing style made it really easy to get into the story and to identify and sympathize with what everybody was thinking and feeling. Nutt takes the time to explain the science (as we currently understand it) behind Gender Dysphoria, making the point that this condition is not simply mental.

I highly recommend this book. It is story of a child and her family, their unconditional love for each other, and their brave response in the face of much prejudice and misunderstanding. It is a story that breaks down those prejudices and misunderstandings and replaces them with acceptance and understanding. Regardless of what gender we identify ourselves with, we are all human, and this book drives that point home in a profound way. show less