Gary Lee Thomas

The premise of this book is that Christians often feel guilty about taking pleasure in life. I wasn't too sure that I agreed; I was frankly surprised at his suggestion coming from a fairly materialistic culture. But he makes some good points. We can spend so much time trying to avoid doing wrong that we forget to take pleasure in what is good - in the abundance of what God has created. He suggests that sometimes we fall into temptation because of boredom, or because something is wrong in our show more lives which may often be solved by relaxation, intimacy or a good hobby.

There are chapters focussing on different themes within the overall idea of Christians taking pleasure in their lives. Chapman points out that Jesus enjoyed many good things - he was accused of being a glutton and drunkard by his enemies, which suggests that he loved to relax over a good meal and a glass of wine. He asks the reader to consider what they enjoy, and to make time to do whatever it is - we are not created for continual work or suffering.

A balance is needed, of course, and we're also warned about too much pleasure, about the dangers of materialism, and about apparently 'safe' pleasures that can lead us into serious problems.

I don't know that I found this life-changing, but it was reassuring and encouraging in a low-key kind of way, and very readable. Recommended. show less

Jesus walked away; he let others walk away. It is difficult when your are taught to be graceful, endure hardship, etc. but sometimes our “ministry” effectiveness can be hindered by not walking away.
I really appreciated his words on divorce. As a divorced person, I struggled for years in a toxic marriage—probably both of us. But we valued the institution (the belief of marriage should be for life) over the people in it (who was being “murdered” slowly). He is the first Christian show more author (who has written books on, and values the “sanctity of marriage”) to express that divorce isn’t always a sin.
Beyond that, this book has helped me deal with and view many relationships in a way that I can feel it was the right thing to have walked away, and let others walk away too. show less

Thomas addresses the interdependence of one's relationship with God and the marriage relationship in this volume. He advocates that couples should be pointing each other in the direction of God as their relationship grows. He makes a lot of good points. The biggest problem with the book lies in the mechanics of writing. Thomas sometimes tries to make a story a point rather than an illustration for a point, particularly in the first portion of the book. The book has several grammatical show more problems which I found distracting. These should have been addressed in the editorial process. While the focuses are slightly different, I really preferred Timothy Keller's The Meaning of Marriage to this one. That is not to say that I did not benefit from Thomas' thoughts and views on the matter. In fact, I downloaded a NetGalley copy of the author's A Lifelong Love as I was reading this volume. show less

There are tons of books out there on how to improve your marriage. It seems that no matter how many tomes are written on love-languages and conflict resolution and communication, no matter how many idealized visions of marriage are put to paper, Christian marriages still struggle. Sometimes there are things about your marriage and spouse that just aren't going to change — at least not in the foreseeable future. What then? Do we just put our heads down and grind away at just staying show more together? Or is there something higher we can find even in the day-to-day challenges and struggles?

The premise of Gary Thomas's Sacred Marriage is God has designed our marriage relationships — good or bad, happy or hard — as a unique instrument to draw us closer to Himself. The subtitle asks this provocative question: what if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?

Seen in this light, marriage becomes less about romance and personal fulfillment. Instead it takes on a deeper meaning, as one of the most sanctifying and God-glorifying tools that He uses to make us more like Christ. This is wonderfully freeing because it shows us marriage is not an end in itself. It has a purpose outside of our own personal fulfillment and pleasure, a purpose that is both eternal and immediate.

The truth is, in marriage we don't get to hide. The other person gets to see it all — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Since our sin thrives in secrecy and darkness, exposure is uncomfortable but ultimately essential if we are to change.

Thomas's spin as an author seems to be meshing the Christian tradition, Scripture, and our modern experience to intersect with the issues we face every day. In this book he talks a lot about how historical Christianity has largely failed in its view of marriage, traditionally seeing marriage as lesser than God intended and married people as second-class Christians. One notable exception was a sixteenth-century bishop, Frances de Sales, who viewed marriage as a desirable state for spiritual growth. Thomas quotes many of de Sales's letters to people who were dealing with difficult marriages, and those snippets are both fascinating and practical today.

My marriage is very blessed. I have a godly husband who is striving to become more like Christ daily, and who works hard to lead our family. But Thomas's exhortations to those in difficult marriages are still applicable to those in easier circumstances, because no marriage is perfect and we all have moments of disappointment, conflict, and pain. It is helpful in difficult times to look beyond the immediate way in which my needs aren't being met and ask what God wants me to learn from the experience, how I can use this to become more like Christ. It isn't always easy to do this, but it becomes easier with practice. It gives such hope... because a painful marital situation may be God's most effective tool for sanctification.

I would recommend this book to married Christians, especially those struggling with difficult circumstances in their marriages. God may not lift that burden, but it is only because He wants to give you something better: holiness and fellowship with His Son. You will be comforted, rejoiced, and encouraged by that to the extent that you value Christ. To sum up, marriage has the potential to draw us closer to God through Christ — and that is why it is sacred. show less