Madre Teresa di Calcutta (1910–1997)

Maybe you read the story of Mother Teresa from her friends, those who served alongside her. Maybe you read it differently from her detractors, like Christopher Hitchens. Here is the story from her own hand … a brutally honest account, because she had no intention of anyone ever reading it. This is an annotated collection of her personal letters, mostly to those in authority over her in the Church. She begged repeatedly that these letters be destroyed, so that the world would never know show more what was in her heart as she ministered in Calcutta among the poorest of the poor. But the Church, after beautifying her as a saint, felt the letters were an important part of Catholic history. Rather than destroying them, after her death they were published in this book.

For the first time, the rest of the world was made aware of the deep darkness inside this saint. Mother Teresa had pleaded over and over with the Church to be allowed to go to India and set up a ministry there for the poor. She felt she had received direction straight from Jesus for this task, and that by being a help and comfort to them—the forsaken, the lepers, the hungry, the sick—she was sharing the love of Jesus. Years, she waited for permission, before it was granted. But almost immediately upon arrival, she began to feel a darkness in her soul. She felt no God there in India. God had abandoned her, leaving only darkness, despair, and doubt. Doubt about whether there was a heaven; doubt at times about even His existence. For nearly fifty years until her death, she struggled with darkness in her soul, painting a smile on her face so as to be an encouragement to others, while bearing the pain alone.

“The place of God in my soul is blank—There is no God in me—when the pain of longing is so great—I just long and long for God—and then it is that I feel—He does not want me—He is not there—“

Every single letter in the book, I believe, contained a plea for others to pray for her, that she could endure the darkness.

“Pray for me—for within me everything is icy cold.”

“I am told God loves me—and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. … The whole time smiling …my cheerfulness is the cloak by which I cover the emptiness & misery.”

I get the feeling that even the book’s author, in collecting and presenting these letters, underestimated the depth of Mother Teresa’s hopelessness:

“If there be no God—there can be no soul.—If there is no soul then Jesus—You also are not true.—Heaven, what emptiness—not a single thought of Heaven enters my mind—for there is no hope. … In my heart there is no faith—no love—no trust—there is so much pain—the pain of longing, the pain of not being wanted. … I don’t pray any longer.

“If there is hell—this must be one. How terrible it is to be without God—no prayer—no faith—no love.”

The darkness never lifted. I think it was only in about the last ten years of her life that she finally made peace with it, comparing it to the darkness Jesus felt in the Garden, and on the cross. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Mother Teresa found in the darkness a “greater identification with the poor,” and in this way, lived out the rest of her life in service. show less

show more 「若我有一天成為聖人──我定會是『黑暗』的聖人。我將長時間不在天堂──而在地上為活在黑暗中的人亮起他們的光。」——德蘭修女

　　德蘭修女畢生為赤貧之人奉獻，成為超越宗教的慈悲代表人物。她照顧病人、垂死之人、成千上萬受到遺棄的人，如此偉大的貢獻早已在全球獲得肯定與讚賞。然而，她的精神生活與掙扎卻鮮為人知。本書所收集的文件與信件，幾乎都是從未公開過的，能讓我們一窺德蘭修女的內在生活，初次深入了解她的神聖。本書作者布賴恩．克洛迪舒克神父（Father Brian Kolodiejchuk）與德蘭修女相交二十年，他是德蘭修女封聖申請案的申請人，也是德蘭修女中心的主任。本書整理了數十年來德蘭修女寫給神師的多封信件，讀者可以跟著她的腳步，看見她的精神生活演變──包括多年來的神枯──這是她只與最信任的神師分享的祕密。她是典型的神祕家，內在生活燃燒仁慈的火焰，她的心也因強烈的信仰試煉而遭受考驗、得到淨煉，靈魂陷入真正的黑夜。本書在修女辭世十週年(2007)出版，深刻描繪她的一生與貢獻，她所樹立的典範依然受到世人讚揚。 show less

This book is a gem for anyone of any faith who is looking to deepen their relationship with God, no matter what name you use for Him. I was raised Catholic and now am a practicing Gaudiya Vaishnava, or what is colloquially known as a Hare Krishna. Here's one of my favorite of the prayers or quotes so far, "Some call him Ishwar, some call him Allah, some simply God, but we all have to acknowledge that it is He who made us for greater things: to love and be loved. What matters is that we love. show more We cannot love without prayer, and so whatever religion we are we must pray together." (p8)

I found this book deepening my faith in the Lord in so many ways. The prayers and thoughts of Saint Teresa are separated into themes that are very accessible:
*the need to pray *starting with silence *like a little child *opening your heart *ending in silence *the fruit of prayer. As I read, I kept pausing to take pictures of excerpts to share with friends or turning down the corners of the page for later reference. I can see myself using some of these quotes or prayers in paintings or writing them in cards when giving gifts to friends.

This is a book I will be keeping to reread many times especially when I need inspiration when it comes to deepening my prayer. I'm also looking forward to finding out which friends don't have this book so I can gift it to them.

Heartily recommend this book again for people of all faiths who are open to deepening their prayer and faith using the words of a saintly person. show less

This book has touched me so very deeply—I’m pretty sure I cried at the introduction. Each chapter is a look into Mother Teresa’s incredible life and testimony, with direct quotes from her followed by story after story of those who were impacted by her.
It is divided into the following sections: feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned, bury the dead, instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish show more sinners, bare wrongs patiently, forgive offenses willingly, comfort the afflicted, and pray for the living and the dead.
Mother Teresa has done all of these and more. I will keep some of these stories with me forever, and feel a renewed zest for showing hospitality in my own life. The only thing that didn’t resonate with me personally was chapter 10, “admonish sinners,” as it was very heavy on the strict Catholic traditions and theology, and I don’t believe in those doctrines as a Christian. But let me tell you, that chapter was worth reading regardless, because I learned that sweet Mother Teresa was also a hardass. I love this woman so much.

Edit: I can’t stop talking about this book and my mom is probably sick of it. But if I had never read it, I wouldn’t be able to say cool things like, “Mother Teresa called her headaches a Crown of Thorns which brought her closer to Jesus” when my mom comes down with a headache of her own. show less