Brent Runyon

At fourteen, Runyon put on his bathrobe, doused it with gasoline, stepped into the tub and lit himself on fire. He suffered third-degree burns over 85 percent of his body. He endured months of excruciating skin grafts and physical therapy. The Burn Journals spans Runyon's first year of recovery from this horrifying suicide attempt as he struggles with the pain, the guilt and the questions from himself and others as to why he did it.

This book does not contain any solutions or answers to show more suicide, depression or self-hatred. Runyon can never answer why he tried to kill himself. He doesn't really know. Runyon wrote his book ten years after he set himself on fire, but he writes it in the first person as his fourteen-year-old self. This makes the book so valuable for teens, especially males, who may run the spectrum of sadness to thoughts or plans of suicide. Here, in Runyon's words, they may find hope that they are not completely alone under the desolate weight of depression.

This book should be included in the teen departments of school and public libraries and will be useful for anyone working with teens; however, this may not be a book for readers who have suffered accidental traumatic experiences and burn victims may struggle to identify with someone who purposely caused such pain. show less

I liked the book, I did. But. I found it hard to emotionally connect with. As a trauma survivor, I wanted something that expressed how psychologically demanding recovery can be and how the author got over it (I wanted a happy ending). What I found however, was a different story. I will say I'm glad I read the afterward, though, because Runyon himself says that basically, recovery didn't necessarily happen. I can relate to that. But he doesn't give us an answer into exactly what he was show more thinking--which I believe to be one of the best things for YA to read. The writing style is that stream of consciousness but at times, it feels like the author maybe didn't want to write exactly what he was thinking? For fear of being hailed as crazy, or scared to give others the same ideas, or maybe just not knowing exactly what he was feeling...I don't know. Either way, I think it's a good book for teenagers to read. I was extremely depressed when I first went to high school and I never had an exact reason as to why. Most books centered toward YA seem to have a specific reason. This one doesn't, and I think it made it easier to relate to. If you're expecting a "happy ending" though, this one may not be exactly what you're thinking or wishing for. show less

When a teen (or anyone, for that matter) commits suicide the big question that everyone is left wondering is “Why?” In this autobiography, The Burn Journals, by Brent Runyon, we are given a rare glimpse into the mind of a teenager who survives a horrific suicide attempt.

Short Plot Summary: In 1991, fourteen year old Brent Runyon is in a heap of trouble at school for lighting someone’s gym locker on fire. Distressed by this and many other issues, he decides that the way to end this show more pain is to catch himself on fire so that he can’t change his mind and save himself at the last minute. He ends up with third-degree burns over 85% of his body and a long, hard recovery—both physically and mentally.

The following passage shows Brent’s thinking during the moments right his suicide attempt. The passage is shocking and honest and pulls the reader into Brent’s world.

"I walk out to the shed to get the gas can. I bring it inside to the bathroom at the top of the stairs because that’s the room with the most locks. I go back downstairs and get the matches from the kitchen.
I take off all my clothes and put on the pair of red boxers with glow-in-the-dark lips that my mom bought for me at the mall last weekend. I bring my bathrobe into the shower and I pour the gasoline all over it. The gas can is only about a quarter full, but it seems like enough.
I step into the bathtub and I put the bathrobe over my shoulders. It’s wet and heavy, but there’s something kind of comforting about the smell, like going on a long car trip. I hold the box of matches out in front of me in my left hand.
I take a strike-anywhere match and hold it against the box.
Should I do it?
Yes. Do it.
I strike the match, but it doesn’t light. Try again.
I light the match. Nothing happens. I bring it closer to my wrist and then it goes up, all over me, eating through me everywhere. I can’t breathe. I’m screaming, “Craig! Craig!” show less

Currently nearing the end of my first year as a suicide attempt survivor, I found myself relating to a fair amount of Mr. Runyon's experiences. Thankfully, I didn't have to deal with the burn treatment aspect of things, and therefore did not share the lengthy hospital stays and surgeries, but I did share many of Brent's frustrations of dealing with the awkward questions and mental health care system in the aftermath of the attempt.
I did, at times, find myself thinking that Brent, disfigured show more by his own doing, was awfully critical of the other patients he came across during his treatment, especially considering that many of them were disabled at birth or injured through accidents at no fault of their own.
Although I felt the book might have benefited from a different format (while I understand the idea, it ends up looking unfinished and a bit like a run-on), I appreciated his open and honest portrayal of life after an attempt and the continued struggles to re-identify yourself among your family, friends, and society.
Not all of our scars are as visible as Mr. Runyon's, but we have them just the same. show less