Rudy Simone

“Aspergirl” (the term) was coined by author Rudy Simone (herself an Aspergirl) to denote a girl with Asperger Syndrome. And Aspergirls (the book) is nearly as catchy as the term. It’s the paper equivalent of a one-on-one conversation with an older sister or girlfriend or mentor who’s “been there” -- a fast and very casual source of information and support directed primarily to Aspergirls (of all ages) and secondarily to their parents, siblings, spouses, and children.

Simone’s show more overall purpose in this book seems twofold: first, to help Aspergirls survive (advocating a zero-tolerance for bullying, then framing aspects of different-ness in a way that builds self-esteem); and second, to help them thrive (promoting education/training as the path to financial security and personal independence). Each of the 25 chapters addresses an aspect of Aspergirl life, among them: sensitivities; coping behaviors; puberty; friendships; education; work; marriage; children; aging. I was going to characterize it as more supportive and less informative ... until I found myself quoting from it numerous times over coffee with a friend! It’s an accessible, female-centered resource that will be empowering for Aspergirls and revelatory to those who love them.

(Review based on an advance reading copy provided by the publisher.) show less

'm not usually into reading books about Asperger's, but I picked this book up because I recently disclosed it to my supervisor at work (after experiencing sensory processing problems), who told me he thought it was "just a label." This book more or less confirms everything I've ever known about Asperger's, but it's tailored to women and girls, which makes it much more relevant, at least to me. For some reason, research on autism and Asperger's focuses more on the male experience, so I show more thought that this book was refreshing in that aspect.

The book is divided into chapters that focus on all the challenges that girls and women with AS experience: self-taught reading skills, sensory problems, gender roles, puberty, dating and relationships, friendships, employment, having children, having temper meltdowns, rituals and routine, and getting older on the spectrum, just to name a few. Nearly all the things discussed in the book describe me life completely, so it was interesting to me to read that many of us have gastrointestinal trouble, connected to stress. I've had it all my life, but I'd never connected it to AS (which I didn't find out I have until I was 25). Another thing I thought was interesting, and totally on, was the chapter on AS in the workplace, and the importance of having obsessions to keep us focused on our careers (I always thought that having obsessions were bad for me).

Rudy Simone's approach is hands-on, and her writing style is easy to read. The chapters are short and give good tips to women and girls with AS and the people closest to them. I don't know that I believe all the holistic stuff, but I think this book should be required reading for women and girls who have been diagnosed with AS. show less

This is a very interesting and in some ways very useful book about high-functioning autism--or, as was still the officially accepted but already challenged label at the time of original publication, Asperger's syndrome--in girls and women.

There's a lot here about how under-diagnosed autism has been and still is in girls, compared to boys. It's very much grounded in Simone's personal experience, and her interviews with an unknown number of women and girls with Asperger's diagnoses. It's show more interesting and informative, in terms of how high-functioning autism can be both a genuinely different experience for females than males, and also less recognized in females because of different expectations that society has for women and girls vs. men and boys.

Yet, the anecdotal approach has real limitations, too. Rudy Simone doesn't have the scientific orientation of Dr. Camilla Pang, another autistic woman who has written about autism, and one consequence is that this book does not have the broader and deeper grounding of Pang's Explaining Humans:What Science Can Teach Us about Life, Love and Relationships. Simone doesn't seem to have looked at the experiences of women and girls who aren't a great deal like her, making this book, to use a term that I honestly never anticipated using in a book review, extremely cisheteronormative. (Not because there's anything wrong with the term; just because I'm a white cis woman in my sixties for whom many of the terminology that comes from greater awareness of intersectionality and its importance feel strange and alien to me, even though the ideas they express feel very right.) Most of the discussion of relationships in this book did not even in passing consider that some autistic/Asperger's women might not be white, might not be straight, might possibly be transgender. That last omission might be due to the original publication date, in 2010, when there was less open discussion of transgender issues--or the belief that there was less discussion of transgender issues may be a sign of the bubble I was living in on that subject, ten years ago. In 2020, though, it really stands out as a blind spot.

There is a lot of good, sensible advice here for teens and tweens and their parents dealing with these issues. That's the area where it's most helpful and valuable. It's less useful for adults, although the encouragement to pursue a diagnosis and meaningful help, if it seems appropriate, even in later life, is good.

Yet Simone seems to generalize far too much from her own personal experience, and not check in with the science and the data nearly enough.

Moreover, there's a distressing amount of what I call woo-woo. Simone believes that autistics may have psychic powers. No, seriously. Much of the anecdotal evidence she cites sounds to me a lot more like survival-based learning to read body language in other people, whether consciously or not. She's also quite taken with the idea that autism may be caused by digestive system problems. She conducts her own tiny (ten people), uncontrolled "study" with a food supplement for which the makers claim near-miraculous effects.

It's an interesting book, but a very mixed bag. I did really enjoy the first half of it or so, up to about chapter seven, but after that it seems to go off the deep end.

Still, it was an interesting listen, and there is good, practical advice for teens and tweens, and their parents.

I bought this audiobook. show less

This is a book by and for people with Asperger's Syndrome. This GUARANTEES that your mileage will vary. But it's likely to be pretty good.

I'll admit that the cover image and the cutesy graphics put me off badly. But it happens that I know one of the people who wrote the cover blurbs, and asked him about it -- and he said that it deserved the praise. And he was right. If I had had this book two years ago, my life very likely would have been very different. If I had had it twenty years ago, I show more could guarantee it.

The flip side is, I didn't even know I had Asperger's then....

Most Asperger's books are full of strategies, and this is no exception. And not every strategy works for everyone. If you don't have sensory issues, you won't need the sensory strategies. Personally, I could use more advice on apologies and forgiveness. And so it goes. But if one goes in with the proper attitude -- "use what you can and don't worry about the rest" -- there is a tremendous amount to be learned here. It is, without question, the best book I have read about Asperger's and careers.

Now if only I had those twenty years back in which to use it.... show less