If I were the Supreme Ruler of the Universe there would be no...

Rhinoviruses!

Especially when their pictures are so slow to load.

Clam, are you getting enough rest for that cold?

Sub-Zero temperatures.

I think, say, 29F is a reasonable low temp, to allow for a day or two of snow per year.

But they are so pretty!

dog poop

People who think it's funny to mock others. (guess who got bullied at school...)

#2 - I'm waiting for my son to get out of MY bathroom, so I can get into my jammies.

#3 - Agreed!

#5 - Well, it would be nice if cats and dogs cleaned up after themselves.

#6 - So sorry, Will.
}:o(
Let me at them!

What is wrong with sub-zero? I mean...sputter....really now!

*shakes head, and is glad that HE is the at the center of universe, not the others in this thread.

High pitched noises at the end of every work day that can only be heard from my cubicle.

Designated hitters.

Graphite tennis racquets.

Smog.

Bad drivers.

Snotty attorneys.

Having to rip out those sox yet again because you're just not getting the exact gauge and you really don't want to buy different yarn.

um, yeah.

#9 All you'd have to do is become Tropical-Stranger. It's just that simple.

Cramps.

Of any kind, of course, but I'm not talking about that kind; I was awakened at 5am this morning (an hour before my alarm, thankyouverymuch!) by a "$(^&!$ muscle cramp in my shoulder and neck so bad that I could barely move. It still isn't entirely gone.

I'm awakened all too often by cramps in my calves or feet! I hate them. Who remembers what you can take to avoid muscle cramping, charlie horses? It is something like zinc, but not zinc. Help? Does it also relate to taking too much calcium in supplement form? Oh, old age really is not for the sissies.

It's magnesium.

Thank you.

Also, drinking a little tonic water before bed helps. The quinine in it is supposed to stop the cramps. My husband would wake up with the worst cramps in his legs - and wake me up too, of course!. He started drinking a little tonic water before bed, and he doesn't get the cramps nearly as often.

Traffic.

Traffic noises.

Loud noises :/

Horrible, inconsiderate drivers
(do you see a pattern here?)

Inconsiderate people, period

Migraines :(

...and the killing of children and all crimes against mankind in general.

My grandmother swears that putting a bar of soap in the bed will stop leg cramps.

If it were up to me, there would be no fattening food!

There would be no cause of Writer's Strikes because everybody would agree that "A writa need to get paid, playa".

Seriously, this means if it goes on, we won't see anything good next year...

Cell Phones.

I like the way Philip Roth put it in Exit Ghost.

"I understood that background silence had long been abolished from restaurants, elevators, and ballparks, but that the immense loneliness of human beings should produce this boundless longing to be heard, and the accompanying disregard for being overheard - well, having lived largely in the era of the telephone booth, whose substantial folding doors could be pulled tightly shut, I was impressed by the conspicuousness of it all and found myself entertaining the idea for a story in which Manhattan has turned into a sinister collectivity where everyone is spying on everyone else, everyone being tracked by the person at the other end of his or her phone, even though, incessantly dialing one another from wherever they like in the great out of doors, the telephoners believe themselves to be experiencing the maximum freedom."

That might also qualify for the longest run-on sentence ever.

...belly blocking the view of my shoes.

Now, I hear all of these fitness freaks talking about their six-pack abs. But, don't you think, when you're talking about beer, that a keg is better than a six pack? Do ya see where I'm goin' with this...?

That's not your belly, it's your dewlap. Ya know that part of your gut what do lap over your belt. I got one too.

As a Monty Python Fan, I refer to my belly as a Blancmange (Pronounced Blah-MONJ), from the Science Fiction sketch about the Blancmanges (sentient alien gelatin desserts) from the Planet Skyron who turn Englishmen into Scotsman so that only lousy tennis players will be left and they can win Wimbledon.

Ummm, needless to say, it's very silly.

bananas

...shakey cams in movies or TV.

#18 - But fattenning food is usually the tastiest!!! How about just no fat???

That might also qualify for the longest run-on sentence ever.

You've obviously never read Pynchon.

Ants.

#27 no there can't be no ants, I got an Ant farm for christmas, and I'm still looking for some ants to put in it. hmmmm maybe there already are no ants?

inconsiderate drivers as above. Well inconsiderate people I guess covers it all.

Brussel sprouts.

#8 A friend of mine kept Giant African Snails, which he claimed ate the dog poo. Unfortunately I gather they've been tried elsewhere, and are now a pest on some Pacific islands as they are busy eating the indigenous snails to extinction.

So: weeds? invaders?

#29 -Yes! No invading species! Some kind of wild rose, not indigenous to New England, is running amok in my woods. :o(

Plus, we have hoards of these freaking Starlings! I'd like to go back in time and throttle the moron who let them go in Central Park back in the day.

MPs, or politicians generally, under 35 or who haven't had at least 10 years in the world of work.

#28 Don't take away Brussel sprouts! I like 'em.

Mosquitos. If there was only one mosquito in a stadium full of people, it would choose me.

#32- Yes, please REPLACE mosquitoes with something else (that doesn't draw blood) for the birdies and bats and frogs to eat.

Ditto that for ticks, and biting flies.

I'd love to sit out in my back yard on a Summer evening, without being drenched in DEET, surrounded by stinky candles.

#30 We've got mynahs, so I agree -- they're noisy, as well as everything else.

#32, 33. Agreed on mozzies, especially the local kind that take takeaways rather than eating in. Though right now there's an "emergence" of black moths, so we have some very fat geckos pooing on the phone, the computer ... and all kinds of insect-eating birds gorging themselves (saw a Paradise Flycatcher this morning -- beaut!).

Clothing moths -- ugh! Also fleas, ticks, lice, mosquitoes and other bloodsuckers. Guess we can keep the (fictional) vampires, though. And please leave a few Brussell sprouts for me.

Moths definitely! Anything that eats wool just doesn't need to exist.

Universe.

Mosquitos are the state bird of Alaska.

bad eyesight. I wish I could wake up just once, and not have to fumble for my glasses.

migraines

Tomatoes, mushrooms, and the Green Bay Packers.

Billy Beane!

I have read and read this thread and trying to come up with something. But my only candidate is migraines and other kinds of severe headaches.

I really don't like mosquitoes; I'm over-sensitive* but they have a kind of niche.

There are some diseases that I'd put on the list, though. Pestilence, cholera, AIDS, leprosy, and a few more like that. But it feel very pretentious to say so.

On the more unpretentious side monday mornings, or mornings in general, gets very high on my list. Or is it alarm clocks? ;-)

* When on Cuba once they took some five bites at my right foot - it went double size for some days; three bites on my shoulder from their sicilian siblings another year stayed on for two weeks WITHOUT me ever touching the bites.

>42 Busifer:

Did you expect Sicilian mosquitoes to be friendly? ;)

No, I guess I was a bit naïve?! But up here we are proud of our killer 'helicopter' mozzies. It was hard realising there are places where they're even bigger and meaner ;-)

In MS, the mosquitoes aren't big just overly abundant. They lay eggs everywhere. At the start of the summer, we have public service announcements about standing water. We can't even leave water in watering cans.

>45 TheaMak:

Same here in Indiana. In fact, they sprayed around town here this past summer because of some horses died of an infection (not West Nile this time) passed on by mosquitoes. It was quite eerie to hear a low humming sound get closer and closer then see all the foggy spray coming out of the truck on a hot, summer night.

Snot.

My allergies are killing me....

60 freeway. And I might just throw in (or out?) the 91 as well.

Flies. Really, now. Would it ruin the ecosystem that much? Or perhaps something similar but not attracted to humans, so the spiders and frogs don't go hungry.

fleas! I hate them! They carry nasty diseases! Do they really have a purpose?

Adding to #6:
People who think it's funny to mock the mentally ill. Worse than snot, fleas, dog poop, and middle-of-the-night muscle cramps all at the same time.

People who drink and drive.

Pain during childbirth.

Anyone who abuses a child or an animal.

People with no sense of humor.

And, this is superfluous, but it still annoys me: dust in my house. It should be banned. ;o)

Other people.

Sorry, feeling a bit Sartrean tonight...

People with no sense of humor.
Yeah, *specially* that kind of people.

Delirium9 - I understand. I have those days. Altogether too often, perhaps, but the no sense of humour people, well, they just don't deserve respect.

Pain during childbirth.
With you all the way on this one!
The others as well.

people (re #53, the "other" part just makes it too exclusive).

I'm with #49. Mosquitoes don't go near me if there are other targets - my blood just don't taste good, i guess. But flies, on the other hand, love me. Call me beelzebub, lord of the flies. ooky, i know.

>#54, i take offense at your stand against people with no sense of humour, you fascist. We deserve your respect, just like the humour-endowed (or "yuks", as we like to call them).

Prejudice

(including against people "with no sense of humor" - just because they don't share yours doesn't mean they don't have one)

No, I actually know people who never laugh at ANYTHING, blue...

So, :oP~~~~

and ;o)

hate.

Oh, and the Pittsburg Steelers.

Edited to add those, those...Steelers!

People who are mean to me because I won't give them antibiotics for their rhinovirus or coronavirus...

#60 - I have to agree with you there. I swear, 50% (or maybe more) of the population of this country think antibiotics should be taken for a cold. Where'd that lovely bit of misinformation come from?

drsol, you need to spearhead a campaign to inform those unwashed masses of the truth. :o)

>#61 clam, did you just agree with yourself? :-D

Well, at least she's not arguing with herself. That's what I usually do...8^}

hee hee, oooops.

It's even better when I post a number that hasn't been created yet.

#73 - You are sooooooo right!

;o)

Quick

start adding

posts, so I can be #73

be no:

People who add spurious posts to threads in order to boost anything.

er .... Whoops

Good job I'm not a supreme ruler

Otherwise I would have wished myself out of existance

Fridays are for being silly!

#65 I know I am ;-)

#73 - You're also brilliant! :o)

The St. Louis Cardinals

Both the Detroit Red Wings and the Anaheim Ducks

Dirty dishes

Dust.

and crumbs

Litter!!

One of my pet peeves...... :/ grrrrr.....

And puking. I really hate puking, being sick enough to do it myself or having to endure other people's. It's just vile.

There would be no mosquitoes, hatred, finals, Wal*Marts, poverty, crappy authors who butcher Star Wars characters, or snotty people who believe that they're so freakin' wonderful because they can play Chopin better than you can.

Or hair dye.
LOL

Maybe I should clarify and say 'there would be no NEED for hair dye,' as everyone would be content with their natural coloring. ;o)

There'd be about 90% fewer blond women, wouldn't there? LOL

#80 - *sigh* - Please don't think ill of the other 10% of us! :)

Hey, my son is blond!
:o)
I don't even think ill of the 'bottle' blonds, I just wonder why they feel the need to do it.
:o/
I blame Madison Ave.

lol - Thanks, clam. I was just kidding in my post. Actually, I agree with you!

#39 - What a thought! No migraines. :)

No kidney stones!

Do you know what a blonde who's dyed her hair brown is called?
*sorry, couldn't resist this!!! ;-)*

Supreme rulers of universes, because I pretty much like how this universe operates.

#84 - Well??????

Not to embarrass myself too much I will answer #84 myself -

Artificial intelligence :P

*sorry again, I worked with AI people in the early 90's...*

:) I started out as a blond in this world, but by the time I was a teen, my hair had darkened to a sort of coppery red/brown. Never, to my dismay, to a lovely auburn. So what does that make me? Maybe I don't want to know the answer! :D

#88 Probably very good looking! :D

Both me and my son started out kind of dark blonde; he's now ash blonde (as I was at his age), and I turned dark auburn for a while, before I got my first grey hair when I was about 20 (admittedly it took some 15 years for it to turn real grey).

Anyway, think we're in the same boat MrsLee, but that one is one of the few jokes I remember (most of the others are jokes about blondes as well, told to me by a natural blonde friend) ;-)

I was luckily born with deep brown eyes and hair. Mostly they still all are, except for a very stray grey hair. I am very grateful, never used anything on my hair other than shampoo and conditioner, or ya, when I was little, my mother tried some of those home permanents.... Ho, ho, ho... permanent what? scabs on the scalp. I am very glad they are gone!

#89 - Snork! I'll bet you say that to all the girls. *blush*

I'm a dark-brown-head ;o) ...with gray 'highlights' at the temples.

Both my sisters have experimented with their hair color. One of them went gray before 30, and it suited her pale skin and green eye beautifully. The other had many an accident over the years, more than once ending up with what we jokingly call "Autumn Sunrise" colored hair. Orange, really. LOL

If I were the supreme leader of the universe there would be no over due library books. They would all be returned on time, shelved and ready for the next reader.

#88
MrsLee, I'd LOVE to have auburn hair! In fact, I dye my mousy brown hair (I already have grey hairs at 37! *snif*) with a dye that's copperish/reddish/auburnish... People say, since I'm very pale, with freckles and dark brown eyes, I could pass for a natural redhead :P~

#82
Clam, I've never understood the need to be blond, either. I mean, I'm not against dyeing our hair, if that's what we want (hey, I do it myself!), but why does it have to be blond!?!!!??! Here in Latin America there's this obsession with looking hmmm... how shall I put it? looking foreign (read: American/European/pale with blond hair and light-colored eyes). And I've met women with amazing brown/tan (chocolate, cinammon) skin who dye their hair blond and it looks so garish! Why would they do that to themselves, I have no idea.

#90
Busifer, from your profile pic, I'd say your grey hairs look pretty striking on you! :D

If I were Supreme Ruler, people who go down a one-way street the wrong way would all be GONE. No excuses, no rationalizations, no this-is-the-first-time-I've-ever-done-it. GONE. No negotiation. GONE, I tell you.

For that matter, anyone, anyone who broke traffic rules just because they thought they should be able to do so, those people would be gone. 80 miles in a 55-mile zone - gone. squeaking through a yellow-oops-red light -- gone. Forgetting to use turn signals - so very very gone. GONE.

jillmwo - All I can say is, I'm GLAD you are not Supreme Ruler! I would be gone 8( I was only 18, from a tiny town with only one main street and no stop lights. I went to Eureka, CA while looking at Humboldt Univ. That town is Insane to drive in. I may never get over the trauma.

Pistachio ice cream. Can't stand the stuff!

Noooo! If you don't want it, give it to me! (Same with the tomatoes and bananas, above, but not all at once, please.)

LOL - Tomato, banana & pistachio icecream!

It's probably quite significant that my answer to this question is based onwhat's annoying me at the moment. I'd make a terrible supreme being, because I'd be eliminating things at a whim and creating other things at my own pleasure. I'm sure the consequences would be tragic (or tragicomic, but no fun for my minions anyway).

The good nice things we know and treasure - would they be as good and nice if it wasn't for the prospect of worse things?
Is it possible to be truly happy if you've never felt down?

I think there need to be a balance, and I'd never survive sane if every day was easy going, no opponents or things to be curious over, no surprises. I NEED people and things to resist me or I go megalomaniac in no time.

I formed this philosophy when I was quite young and it still sustains me. And yes, LeGuin's Earthsea books was quite influential in this. But at least I recognise it ;-)

ETA - This is not to justify poverty or sickness. Or migraines. Or torture. I only say that some things is OK, even if we don't particularly like them :-)

Bush-Cheney.

Where were you when we needed you?

If I was Supreme Ruler, all men would have internal testicles.

#105
---sitting here mouth gaping. Can't top that.

#104 - out in the streets, etc etc. - believe me, I've been trying my hardest.

I back to wishing there was no waiting for your delivery truck to come in. (still waiting for Kindle, in case you haven't heard me whine before today...where have you been?)

Did it show up yet, maggie? I figure that if you stop posting for a couple of days it will mean that you've got your hands on it.
:o)

Nope, it's Wednesday dinner time here and no Kindle yet. Sometimes the delivery truck comes around dinner time, so maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe Friday.

I did get a ER book tho. Life is good.

nuts. Lame HTML skills.