richardderus thread #21

I give. When my own thread gets a browser unable to load message, another thread is clearly necessary, drat it.

Books Off the Shelf group thread is there, where I will review 25 books that've sat on my shelves since who-whipped-the-cat and also 75 new books...published no earlier than 2008...this year.

Reviews 1,2,3: first thread
Reviews 4-7: second thread
Reviews 8-12: : third thread
Reviews 13-20: ... fourth thread
Reviews 21-30: ... fifth thread
Reviews 31-37:... sixth thread
Reviews 38-42: seventh thread
Reviews 43-46: eighth thread
Reviews 47 & 48: ninth thread
Reviews 49-51: tenth thread
Reviews 52-57: eleventh thread
Reviews 58-65: twelfth thread
Reviews 66-71: thirteenth thread
Reviews 72-77: fourteenth thread
Reviews 78-81: fifteenth thread
Reviews 82-86: sixteenth thread
Reviews 87-89: seventeenth thread
Reviews 90, 91: eighteenth thread
Review 92: nineteenth thread
Reviews 93, 94: twentieth thread

I now have a second Homeless Reviews thread in Club Read 2010. I've set a completely arbitrary goal of 50 books to review that I don't own, and were published before 2008, so they don't fit anywhere else.

FOR THOSE JUST TUNING IN: I don't know the readers of my reviews personally, for the most part, so I don't have any way to gauge whether you'll agree or disagree with me. It's always perfectly fine with me either way, and I invite comments from all.










Books are reviewed in post number:

97. Cleo: The Cat Who Mended A Family...#184.

96. Island of Demons...#165.

95. Popular Hits of the Showa Era...#35.

OK, found you again! ((Hugs))

What another thread Mr. I'm not Budging??!!
I haven't got through the last one yet. :-}

When *I* can't load my own thread on high-speed cable internet, it's time. No excuse for that, and also it makes *my* life harder!

*pppbbbfffttt* to Miss Snarky-pooh Tammy, though.

Found ya, found ya! *pats self on the back*
Gawd, roll on 2011, it'll be so nice to have a fresh reading start after all the chaos!

Smooches! Glad you jumped ship, too.

*Buys a beer for Richard's thread and waggles eyebrows at it*

.... okay....

Ellie: 21 is the drinking age here, you see... :P

Well, drat the cat and all the felines at sea...he's still at it!

*smooch*

;-}

found you :)

Another thread - and you're half way to your second thread already for 2011 - what a popular man you are :)

Did someone say drinks?

If someone said drinks, mark me down for an extra-spicy Bloody Marie (gin, not vodka), two limes.

I just came by to say I'm boycotting this thread. I refuse to follow you on more than one thread, so you'll be seeing me on the 2011 side. But not before I grab an extra-spicy Bloody Mary myself (vodka, not gin). Yum! Goes well with that prime rib. ;-)

I make pitchers of the Bloody and let people decide on Mary, Marie, or Maria (limoncello from Italy). Tabasco, Worcestershire, horseradish, lemon pepper, celery salt, a smidge of dried ginger, and V8.

>14 Smiler69: But what about the reviews I will post over here?

Thought that was a suspiciously small # of posts to catch up with on the other thread...

I refuse to move to the dark side, aka 2011, until it IS 2011. So there.

I was wondering if you were going to make a new thread before year's end, or simply desert the non-conformists who refuse to join the 2011 crowd before the ball drops.

ETA: Yay, Suz! Great minds think alike.

*feeble wave*

I didn't expect to see you here again. Scotch and water for me.

Hee, hee, hee! {{{XOXOXOX}}}

And I am refusing to read the 2011 threads until New Year's Eve, so I'll see you here until then!

C'est moi! I shan't abandon you, Richard. Perhaps I will get way far behind, but never abandon (really, there is no "perhaps" about it, but there it is).

heh heh ... nice to see your new thread ... now try not to keep this under 250 until the New Year's Eve, hear? ;-)

I'm here too....staying put until New Year's eve. Have decided that reading 2011 threads will be a great way to spend the eve. Will do a wrap up post in 2010, and then set up to start another fabulous year. So stick with me all you traditionalistos...2010 still have 10 days to go!

I'm not entirely sure where I am anymore!
Stars everywhere!

Oookaaay, guys in denial about 2011! But my first 2011 thread already has ~160 posts...it looks very likely there will need to be another one before 1/1/11, and y'all'll miss the first entry in the art show I've decided to start my threads with in 2011.

Still, not my decision....

We'll be glad to catch up and admire your art come the first of the year, dear! If auntie is restless tonight, will you check out the solstice lunar eclipse? Unfortunately, we are socked in with rain clouds here in San Diego.

It's 24F outside. The eclipse shall proceed apace without me. What I will do, if I'm awake, is tune in to NASA.gov for the live feed...starts 1:30a, totality ~2.20-2.30a.

Have I ever said that I *love* the Internet? I'm listening to all six of Bach's Suites of Unaccompanied Cello on YouTube as I type this; I can watch the lunar eclipse in toasty comfort; and chat with people I really care so much about the entire time.

*buys Richard's thread shots*

Jägermeister, perhaps. Salut!

If it's shots, I want a Mexican Snowshoe.

Hi Tom! Watch the eclipse with me: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/eclipselunarchile

I love the internet too.. sigh
magic!

My kudos to the internet as well. I cannot imagine my life without it any more. Especially this particular group.

cello suites, yummmm. though I admit I couldn't listen to them on youtube, too jumpy. (yes, even with DSL)
I do have an entire iTunes playlist devoted to different versions, though! one of these years will add the Isserlis version.

>31 alcottacre: So true.

>32 Chatterbox: Isserlis! *swoon*

Review: 95 of seventy-five

Title: POPULAR HITS OF THE SHOWA ERA

Author: RYU MURAKAMI

Rating: 3* of five

The Book Report: Six dreadfully bored, dreadfully sociopathic young twentysomething men find each other, and for want of anything better to do, start hanging out. They drink, they eat, they talk at but not to each other, and no one bothers to listen because no one has anything to say that means any-damn-thing in the others' solipsistic brainiverses.
Six dreadfully bored, dreadfully ugly and unloving, unloved thirtysomething women find each other, and for want of anything better to do, start hanging out. They drink, they eat, they talk at but not to each other, and no one bothers to listen because no one has anything to say that means any-damn-thing in the others' solipsistic brainiverses.
One day, one of the men decides, after a horrible sleepless night, to kill one of the women. Thus begins a kind of grisly tontine scheme of murder and reprisal that ends in the death of an entire Tokyo suburb.

My Review: Ick. I feel defiled. There is nothing believable about this book, thank goodness, because if there *was* I would be forced to sharpen my longest knife and go out randomly slitting the throats of passers-by.

Ryu Murakami, it would seem, is the Dennis Cooper of the Japanese literary scene, exploring the revolting images that modern Japanese society casts in the funhouse mirror. He's won a boatload of prizes for doing this. All I can think is, Japanese society being so buttoned up and tightly controlled, this kind of transgressive hooliganism carries more of a shock-and-awe sensation than it does in our American laissez-faire emotional environment. All it does for me is make me feel like I've spent several hours with the most absurdly overacting players of overwritten parts in an overwrought melodrama that, while effectively satirizing the anomie and autarky of armed camps that constitute modern societies, loses a lot of its force and impact to sheer overexuberance.

Thank goodness it's short. Fifty more pages and I'd have to mail-bomb the publisher's offices.

Ick sounds about right. Not touching that one...

will pass on that one thank you very much :)

*smooch*

Ick.Ick. I can thankfully live the rest of my life without that one!

From your description, one wonders what was going on in the publisher's brain.

>35 London_StJ: Good plan, Crypto...I want Three born without the fetal alcohol syndrome that would inevitably result from your attempt to drink yourself to death after reading this...thing.

>36 curlysue: Oh heck, Kara, I thought it sounded like something you'd *love*! *evil Muttley laugh* Tell you what, why don't I send you my copy? *sadistic cackle*

>37 alcottacre: Ye gods and little fishes, Stasia, go wash eyes 12,13, and 14 with strong bleach right away! Even the review is guaranteed to cause them harm.

>38 TadAD: "Prize-winning cool-guy rock-star author" -- and I'd venture to guess that the editor who acquired the book is under 30. The glamour of nihilism hasn't worn off him/her/it yet.

Oh, yuck! How do you rinse something like that out of your brain, with lye?

Richard, have you read 'Out'? Also a Japanese novel with some truly gruesome components, but I found it effective. I wonder how you would compare it to 'Popular Hits...'.

Whatever. :P
You get a tongue instead of a thumb...

RD, do you need some good book suggestions? I might be able to round up a few from some friends...

Great review, Richard!

Someone flagged it, for some reason. In fact, haven't you had unwarranted flags in the past? :(

Well, for anyone who doesn't know, if you click the flag you can unflag it by clicking the green one. Everyone please do so now...

THx but NOT.

LOLOLOL good one rd :)

Thanks for the warning, Ricardo ...but I wonder... you gave it 3 stars and felt defiled?

It had some funny lines. It was nicely designed. It was just...uchhhy.

Ok... you get a thumb AND :P for that book. Good review - bad book 4 me.

Don't get me started on blue flags! Right, Kath?

Oh, Kath - #46 LOL at #45? Please send me a PM and explain. I don't get it.
But don't tell anyone... ok?

If three stars get mail bombs, I fear to think what two cars results in. Cats, perhaps?

There is *no one* I hate enough to send cats to. Even HITLER and STALIN don't deserve cats. The three stars were for the moments that made me laugh. And, frankly, why the hell not. This isn't a good book, but it's not a hideous waste of a perfectly good tree like How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe, which should be withdrawn from public circulation and pulped, then the pulp should be poured into a vat of molten steel, then the steel should be allowed to cool and dumped into the Marianas Trench's deepest point after being encased in 3ft of pure lead.

hmmm... I'm guessing he didn't like that one.

>52 -Cee-: Not a lot, no.

(Reposted from the What Are You Reading Now thread.)

Ryu Murakami is quite the question mark, isn't he?
I'm reading Almost Transparent Blue and I can't tell if it's brilliant or just an attempt to "shock and awe" the Japanese population. Which, he definitely has as I've talked about reading this book with several Japanese. Those in their 40s count it off as rubbish and the 20-somethings are curious to read it. Interesting dynamic. I have to remind myself why I'm reading this book every time I encounter the massive sex orgy scenes. Halfway through and still seeing how it's going. There are some moments though that I'm wondering what the f* the characters are talking about but I guess when you're so high on mescaline and heroine everything sounds interesting.

I'm not so quick to cast him off though. Just need to wait and see a bit more.

He's won a lot of prizes, and the Establishment clearly supports his outsiderness; he's a lot like Dave Eggers, maybe: You get it, or you hate it.

He made me laugh several times, so I gave him 3 stars, but I will never, ever recommend the book to anyone.

...?... You know, it just occurred to me that, had LT been around in 1851, we'd be having the same conversation about Moby-Dick. Melville was a species of Wunderkind, and not all that warmly received by the Pooh-Bahs of Kultur though well thought of by the youth of the time.

Honestly, had I known that this book dates from 1994 in Japanese, I might have felt *moored* in place and time better, and therefore better able to comprehend the surroundings. Dunno...frankly, I just think it's not a very good book.

I'll be keen to hear what you think of Almost Transparent Blue! I'll be looking for your review.

Well, he's basically being praised for showing people that Japan is not all geisha and salarymen. Just like any culture there's a subculture and, like most subcultures, it's not quite welcome. I mean, I'm a 20-something but the idea of drugs and group sex has never really been at the top of my bucket list. It's not even at the bottom of the list. It would never cross my mind to do such a thing. But that's why it's interesting for me to try and see why someone would enter such an environment.

I mean, seeing this in the US already boggles but my mind but the book I'm reading was actually published in 1969! Right in the middle of the drug scene. It's full of stereotypes (the black man who's only role is to supply drugs and dick, the stupid blond Caucasian women who are only good for weird kinky sex) but unfortunately, that is what the subculture is like there. See a black man in a really expensive car in the middle of Shibuya? Yeah, he sells drugs. See a black man wandering around Shinjuku with a massive camera taking .... ha ha. That's my friend. He's innocent! ;)

Anyway, I'll definitely be posting my thoughts when I finish the book. But I'm reading it in the original Japanese so it'll take me another 2 months at least to finish.

I admire your ambition...Japanese isn't easy to start with, but the Murakami novels are the equivalent of reading Trainspotting would be for a Japanese student of English.

Novels date as easily as cars do...you see a novel with a *gasp* interracial love story, you just *know* it's not from the Aughties. Like seeing a 20ft long convertible with 4ft tall fins and a huge chrome grille parked next to a minivan...these two things were NOT made on the same assembly line.

Message #51

Richard, tell us how you really feel about this book....

Hello to you. I hope Auntie will allow sleep for you this evening.

Hi Linda! Glad to see you round and about!

xoxo

Actually Murakami's novels are quite easy to read, which is why I chose this one. The language is as modern as it gets with the grammar as straightforward as it gets. And no fluffy language which is what I needed to avoid. Nothing difficult and abstract such as "the cherry blossoms a fluttered in the wind-swept branches, reflecting the soul of her light skin". None of that. It's more "Ryu shot up with heroine as the drug pulsed through his veins". So, obviously I didn't learn all the drug terminology in class but Ryu repeats his words and his way of saying certain things that you pick it up really quickly. So it's actually a very great book to read I think. I won't be reading Haruki Murakami anytime soon though in Japanese. That would just be a pain to read!

>15 richardderus: Dammit dammit dammit. REVIEWS. Forgot all about those.

>34 richardderus: Bla bla bla. Whine whine whine. If you don't like it, there's a good chance I'll LOVE it. Or at least my cats will.
:-b (ptttttthhhhhrrrrrrr)

>60 lilisin: I'm gathering that you really love Japanese. I've tried once or twice to master conversational Japanese, but it's more work than I want to do. My son-in-law is a Japanophile, so periodically I need to catch up with things Nipponese or I lose a valuable conversational gambit.

>61 Smiler69: Don't doubt your cats'll adore it! It saps the will to live out of a person, it makes a person wretched and ill, and in a pinch, you can line the catbox with it. What's for a Satanic Minion not to love?

You are correct. I love the language and I love studying the language. I can spend hours on it and still not be tired! Recently I remembered that the whole reason I started learning Japanese was so that I could read novels (I forgot that while in grad school) so three months ago I finally started a book. And I hate when people say stuff like "oh, why don't you read Harry Potter in Japanese or The Little Prince in Japanese?". Yeah, those are always the two books I hear about in forums when I read the advice given for people reading their first book in Japanese. This from people who haven't read a book in the language themselves. >_>

So I was sitting on my Japanese friend's bed as he started throwing books at me so I picked up the Murakami, said "I can read this!" and thus began my journey. It's been great so far. I have definitely been learning some interesting vocabulary! Ha ha.

been learning some interesting vocabulary

I can only imagine! o.O

You won't actually *need* that vocabulary, right?

Rdear.. you are such a sweet wonderful man. Aside from this cat hating thing that you really must stop, dear.

And if the book is all that bad, why on earth would I line my poor kitties
box with it? Poor babies. They only get the best of the best. I will have to post some pics of Angus playing with the tree :)

*sigh* I love you anyway, but you just can't imagine how sad it makes me to know that the Global Catspiracy has claimed your heart and mind so thoroughly. *sniff*

Ha ha.

Well, at least it makes some kanji more memorable and those can get broken down to make more... innocent words. :)

So long as there is redeeming social value, I am content and bestow my eagerly sought blessings upon the endeavor.

(My daughter, 29 and married mother of 3, just called to ask permission {!} to have a particular family member to Xmas at *her own house* where I will not be! It's made me feel pretty, well, omnipotent.)

>68 richardderus: - Oh dear, those family issues are hard. My mom - who I am MUCH MUCH MUCH closer to than my father - will not be at xmas breakfast for the first time because my dad will be there. Her excuse is that her boyfriend can't come (I didn't think xmas morning was the time for my dad to find out she's seeing a close family friend), but she's just avoiding him in general. I'm trying really hard not to feel bitter about this whole situation, but oy. At least my inlaws all play nice!

Sadly, never got to the point in Japanese where I could read anything more than manga. I got kicked out of my class for "asking too many questions". Seriously.... I did get to the point in Russian where I could tackle poetry and short stories. And French is now pretty much like English, although a bit slower when I read as I don't do enough of it these days. That said, when I started reading in French at the age of 12, my first books where children's historical novels (about Sissi, the Empress of Austria!) and then at 16, stranded in a French city sans English books for several more weeks, I started with Harlequin novels. Sadly, they were as annoying in French as in English, so I moved onward quickly. No Harry Potter in those days, those. I still love languages, though I don't think I'd be able to easily add another one these days. Spanish, maybe. I find I can read newspapers in Spanish, oddly enough. Osmosis after living in NY so long??

I had to look into your new thread to say hi.

>68 richardderus: Did you give her your permission or did you refuse and are now going to check if she obliged?

>69 London_StJ: Parents! Who needs 'em?! My mother never cared a fig if my father and whichever wife he was on got invited to family do's, but he carried a huge cross around vis-a-vis mama until she died. (He called me to ask where she was buried so he could dance on her grave. I think he was hurt when I laughed at him!) {{{Crypto}}} I hope you can walk through the forest fire, since the only way out is through.

>70 Chatterbox: Osmotic Spanish: The Suzanne McGee Story...it has a ring....

>71 paulstalder: I did indeed grant permission, Paul, by saying her decisions were the only ones I would ever trust when talking about her own house. What she does, she does.

>72 richardderus: - I appreciate your sympathy, Padre, but I'm just whining. I hate the "responsibility" that comes with being the adult child of a divorcing couple. When my mom walked out the door she called me to go comfort my father, and he's latched onto me like a substitute for her ever since. Considering he was very little of a father before this it has left me feeling pretty grumpy.

Big smooches to you.

>73 London_StJ: Oh ho! The *classic* make-up/transference/revenge ploy! My dad did that with my sister Winter, his favorite child, (I was mama's favorite, and my other sister was no one's favorite anything, poor dear) and it cost her a lot of psychic energy to wriggle free of the trap. Seriously...do it sooner rather than later!

Okay, I'll stop being all dad-like and just say "there there, pat pat" like a good friend should.

70 -

It's really just a question of constant maintenance on your languages. Funny enough, for the past three months I've been reading novels in only Japanese and Spanish and so my native French has been really off lately. I feel like I sound like a google translator. I'm headed to Korea and Japan tomorrow so I'm bringing a good French book on the plane before I drive my brother more nuts with my switching of gender pronouns.

haddit My dog will sometimes nip at people ( men) who are leaving the house.
I make sure that if men are leaving I have an eye or hand on Dunkers. My stepdad was here today. When he left dan did not watch duncan. Duncan nipped at walter. Walter told dan that he was fine.. it didn't break skin, and he wasn't sure that he even got more than his pants. He then told my sister that Ducna bit him.. really bit him .. and he might have even broken the skin.

I have been really bitten by a dog. IT broke the skin, and through an artery. Blood pumped all over the sidewalk.

That is really bit. Not breaking the skin, is not. This is not a good thing.. but it is also somewhat common, as I know a couple of other people whose dogs do this . My vet also told me he knows of a few. All it takes for me is standing in front of him when someone leaves.

My sister is making a huge drama. Duncan is vicious,, mean.. can't be trusted.
Rdear.. ARGH!!!!

thoughts? Halp!

Kath - Why is your sister making a big deal about this if your stepdad didn't after the incident at your house? After all, wasn't he the one that was nipped at? I'd turn this around to tell your sister that your stepdad should be proud to be nipped at by Dunkers ... he only nips those he wants to have stay longer over at the house.

Ask Debbie, very sssweeeetly, to send you a picture of the bite so you can send it to your insurance company so they'll pay for stitches.

>77 cameling:/78 Two excellent suggestions.
I'm afraid your sister already had her mind made up...
*heavy sigh*
Nothing you can say or do will change her mind or her future ranting. :P
Early to bed tonight?

Luxx, I had much the same thing happen with my father -- he suddenly discovered the joys of being a father post-divorce, when I was in my mid-20s. Happily, my mother didn't suggest I cater to him, and I'm fairly firm about not doing that. Frankly, their inability to behave like civilized people (they have completely different sets of issues to deal with) with respect to each other is deeply annoying. With my mother, I refuse to discuss my father's alleged sociopathic behavior. With my father, I remind him that he's not perfect and that he has been known to leave havoc in his wake. Being a firsthand witness to the slooow and painful dissolution of their marriage has proved an excellent reason to stay single.

Ah, the holidays..and the perfect time to discuss "family". My father left us on Christmas Eve. I was ten. He loved alcohol much more than his family. My mother?...Well, that was another piece of work.

With very little interaction with his children, my father decided to check in on us when we were 20-30's. I weighed 125 at the time and he called me fat. I had completed another degree and was quite proud of myself, thus his attempts to slap me down didn't work.

He told me that he simply had to leave my mother because "she was nuts!" I politely asked him why he left his children with a crazy woman, then, I didn't wait for an answer and walked out the door. It was the last time I saw him and there was freedom in closure.

When he died and the latest step mother called, I thanked her, but told her I would not be attending the service.

Suz, it took awhile for me to have enough confidence to know I could indeed have a positive relationship.

It took my mother 44 years to get the gumption to divorce my father. I am glad she did, but even post-divorce, he is still attempting to control her. Since she does not comply, he attempts to insinuate himself into my life as much as he can. That is not working out well for him either.

I agree with Richard - parents! what can you do with them?

ye gods, Christmas eve, Linda? Bastich. My dad left on my sisters birthday.
Odd choice, as that was his "favorite" child. He never looked back. We did reconcile in his last years. There was no service when he passed. My mom.... well, Debbie was her favorite, too. And that is all that I will say on that subject.

I am so not up to the drama with my sister. I am calling my stepdad shortly to get it from the horses mouth.. so to speak.

>80 Chatterbox: - I was already (happily) married and had a 7-mo-old when mom FINALLY walked out (over a decade int he making), but otherwise I know just what you mean. It sounds like our situations are unfortunately similar. My dad lives in his own world, and he's absolutely determined to play the victim here. "I'm destined to be alone, and its absolutely none of my doing" he said last time I saw him. It was all I could do not to snort and say, "Well, ignoring your wife and family for a decade certainly didn't help matters along."

We have had some ... choice words. But he's as dense as concrete sometimes. Don't get me wrong - I love my Dad - but damn does that man get under my skin.

>81 Whisper1: - Good for you for standing up for yourself. My father is clueless and rather annoying, but I'm willing to forgive his distance as a father because of how dedicated he is to his grandchildren. He may only know the "me" he's established in his head, but he's nothing but loving and warm with the monsters.

>83 mckait: - I avoid the drama as much as they'll let me. I just wish the legal mess was over.

>82 alcottacre: - I have typed three responses to you so far, but B keeps saying "Mommy, get up get up!" because he wants his breakfast, lmao. I'm glad your mother found the courage to think of herself.

>84 London_StJ: to >82 alcottacre: Of, and FOR, herself. It takes a lot to escape a controlling person.

{{{Crypto}}} for looking past the obvious and into the heart. You impress me.

Oh, I don't know about that, but I'll take the hugs all the same.

Richard I"ve been behind in your thread so I posted on #20 but then see 21--so here is my message from #20 transferred over...

Richard--I so love this thread always interesting, always keeps me laughing and smiling!! I got behind for several days and am now caught up (sort of). In case I don't get to it Happy Holidays to everyone! May you all enjoy a very safe and happy holiday season!

My oldest son hasn't seen or talked to his father in almost 4 years. After 20+ years of every conversation being a criticism, Kevin said "I Just don't have the energy to listen to it any more." I think it's difficult for him, especially since he has children, but I agree with him--you must avoid toxic people if you don't want to make yourself nuts.

> 84: Avoiding the drama, that is what I try to do.

My parents are still together, but each one tries to control the other and succeeds partly, making eachothers life miserable... For years I felt pity for my mom, for years I felt pity for my dad. Last years I try to avoid them as much as I can, still strings attached and I am not able to cut them, although I wish I could :-(
I did break up with my sisters (one of them is my mom multiplied) when they went WAY over the line, but my parents both are able to operate just ON the line, or merely one step over, but never too much...

Ah, I adore my brothers. And my one brother's wife (the youngest isn't married).

Sometimes I think I just need some space. We live in the same little community where we both grew up, one mile (in either direction) from the houses where we grew up, which is still home to my father and his mother. His dad/stepmom and my mom life in a community five minutes away. When the drama hits the fan it all feels a little claustrophobic.

>88 tloeffler: - I'm surprised my brothers speak to my father for the same reason. As his only girl I guess he just ignored me, and I think I got the better side of things.

I'm a firm believer that families are made and not born. Two people having unprotected sex does not a family make; families have to be built on love and compassion and basic understanding. For this reason my two best friends are family, while my father's parents and siblings are not.

Sorry to bring your thread down, Padre. I'll keep my whining to my own. :(

Dearie, I'm on the same road you are, just a few exits farther away from parental toxicity due to rapid travel.

My mother married my father because 1) she lacked the moral fiber to be the lesbian she truly was and 2) he was *startlingly* handsome and *really* good in bed. My father married my mother because 1) she was rich and 2) she was pregnant.

They deserved each other, but after 18 years, they'd had enough, the money was gone, and Mama was grooming me to fulfil her sexual needs, so *piff* off she and I went, leaving father and sisters behind.

So no one ever need apologize for not being upbeat about family round these parts! I detested mine. One sister filled with anger and judgment because she wasn't anyone's favorite child, one guilt-ridden and Christian like Mama became...yuck. Dad loved himself more than me, and despite my stepmother telling him from personal experience, "your ex is abusing that boy," he sent me back to live with her because he didn't want to fight with her.

Families are made. Not one of those people whose genes I share is my family. They're pleasant enough socially, I suppose, but I got no time for 'em.

I think my elder nephew is great?!?

Erm...

Anyway -- Luxx, yes, we have uncannily similar parents. Marriage #3 broke up in April, and he was on the phone to me distraught because she didn't love him any more. Three months later, he was dating a Lithuanian woman younger than I am, whose residency visa in Canada had just expired. (He just got back home after a month in Lithuania; we have a bet going how long it is before they are engaged and I'm on to the next stepmother...) He has his own delusions of what his family is like, mostly with him at the center like a benign paterfamilias, and he's completely oblivious to the reality. *shrug*

Linda, it's not about confidence or lack of same; it has to do with having v.v. high standards for a relationship. Having seen the kinds of things people will do to each other, I have very little interest in marriage. Serial monogamy? Sure. But unless/until I encounter the one person... well, there's no point. Because any point of compromise at the outset is just going to get bigger and more important as the novelty wears off. I'm sure that's what happened to my parents, who marred in the 1950s; he was 23, she 21. Nice girls got married, they didn't have careers. She was raised to feel insecure; I was raised with mixed messages -- told to be confident but with the example in front of me being an insecure woman. Explains a lot!

92.... ouch

92.... {{{Hugs}}}

>93 Chatterbox: It was The Thing To Do, so folks just did. So few were well suited. *sigh*

>94 mckait:, 95 Thanks, gals! I'm not "over it" but I'm not furiously angry the way I once was. Not altogether sure why, really. Reading that, it sounds just horrible, don't it?

oh yes. It does. Especially from the point of view of one lucky enough to have a good, stable set of parents. My siblings and I still talk (although sometimes strains are inevitable). One line of the family is prone to feuds, but I ignore them.

So many interesting conversations going on in this thread. I'm so sorry to hear about so many "sticky" parental relationships, though you all seem to have gotten to a place where you can function fairly normally (albeit for a relatively short period of time) and then "shake it off" and understand your parents for the very real, screwed up people that they are. Many many hugs to you all!

While my parents are certainly not perfect, and between the three of us (I'm an only child) we have our share of annoyances and button-pushing, we get along very well. I live about 3 miles from my parents house, where I grew up, in my Grandparents old house (where my Mom grew up, and where my Dad grew up kitty-corner from here - they moved in when he was 6 or so). While we have never really had an argument, I've been known to yell at my Mom to try and find herself for herself and give her lots of encouragement (Dad has done this for her too). I only sometimes get involved in their disputes (how can you not have them after knowing someone for 60 years?!?), but that's how I am - my nickname, starting in the first grade was "Little Guidance Counselor", acting as a therapist for siblings I was friends with, my friends parents and their relatives, my friends, etc - and it's a natural "job" for me to fill. Overall, we get along pretty well.

We're all fairly easy-going, have a healthy sense of humor, and only want the best for each other, no matter what that is. My parents have never wanted me to get married by such-and-such age, or have children precisely 2 years later, or any of that stuff. Maybe that's partly why at 32 years of age I have yet to be in a relationship (probably not healthy, really) and don't really feel any rush to date a lot, or hurry up and find "The One", or have a child because my proverbial clock is ticking - I like my life the way it is, and when I don't, I make a change. They got married at 34, had me 4 years later, and that was that. In fact, Mom has been heavily encouraging me to go off and elope and have a party later on since I was in high school - and that's only if I felt that I wanted to get married. It all seemed so normal and supportive and well, parental, to me that it wasn't until I was in college that I realized how blessed I was to have the parents I have.

Kudos to you, my dear friends, for going through so much and coming out of it all so clear-headed and honest and loving. ((((((Hugs)))))) to each and every one of you!

ed. to add that i hope all of this comes out right and doesn't sound bad. i'm always so impressed when i hear about someones past - it just proves that we're more alike than we may originally think we are! love you guys!

I do have friends -- a brother and sister -- who are literally each other's best friends, even now in their late 30s and early 40s. They are perfectly functional, rational people, tremendous fun to be around, and have a wonderful relationship with their parents. I marvel, I admire, I can't relate to it; I'm very pleased for them and delighted that is possible. I don't envy, though, because we are all different people and find different ways to deal with what life hands us. We all get handed something to make us miserable and something that, if we find it and cultivate it, can make us happy. The test is how we deal with both of those things. And by now I hope I've got enough sense of perspective on human nature to just roll my eyes and move on. Richard, you've obviously got a lot more to be angry about, but it seems as if you've more or less reached your own balancing point as well -- the point where you simply don't allow it to mess up your life any more. Anger destroys the angry person more than it ever hurts the target, especially when that target is so self-involved/selfish as to provoke that kind of anger/hurt in the first place.

Not getting into the dysfunctional families discussion. Just popping in to say

Short on free time, so I ditto calm.
Just wanted to stop by and raise a glass to a Merry Christmas to you, Richard.........Cheers!

Rdear... Duncan, Morgan, Emmie, Rosie and of course Dream Angus wanted to join me in wishing you a Happy and fun Christmas!

Sorry for the plain, but: Merry Christmas, Rdear.

And I thought my family put the "fun" back in disfunctional. Whew!

It's a wonder that we manage to be human after all...

Merry Christmas, Richard

Been watching the numbers creep up on Richard's first 2011 thread. Looks like he'll have to start number 2 by the end of the day, and I predict by New Year's he'll be starting number 3 (if not before).

Happy Christmas Eve, Richard dear!

As nuts as my parents drive me at times, I am still very thankful for my peaceful upbringing and the wonderful wonderful relationship I have with my maternal extended family. Padre, claim me instead of your rotten siblings - we'd have some awesome holidays. ;)

Big giant holidays smooches, and a very merry to you if I don't pop back on!

A sleigh-ful of puppy love coming your way!
Hope you sleep well after the sleigh ride - Happy Christmas!!!! *smooch*


glitter-graphics.com

Christmas Glitters Graphics

Richard, no cats, just cuddles and best wishes for a delightful, peaceful, restful, and healthy holiday. Life the eggnog, toast the tootsies, and sink into a new book...

Blessings and best wishes.

Tina

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

There is a lot to be said for choosing your own family when you can. We have two close family members who are 'exes', but we like them better than the actual blood sibling they used to be married to, so we kept them!

Merry Christmas, Richard!!

Thanks, once again, for the terrific books you sent me.

Seasons Greetings , Richard. Hope the next few days are happy ones.

Merry Christmas Richard !

Try to have a merry Christmas Richard, even if the whole group is swimming in those 'icky' GIFs right now. :P

another icky gif to add to the collection sent by many who love you dearly.

Have a very merry Christmas, my dear Richard

Merry Christmas Richard!! Have a great day!

Richard, I hope you have the best of all possible Christmases. *smooches under the mistletoe*

Merry Christmas, Richard! I didn't realize you started another thread, so I was a 118 posts behind. Hope you have a great day!

Just a quick flyby to say just four words. Prime Rib Perfection! Thanks!

glitter-graphics.com

Merry Christmas, Richard!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Dear Friend.

Merry Christmas, Richard. I hope that you have a great day.

My rib roast came out to perfection this year, Richard! Let us celebrate together friends, and love, and compassion, and our LT family in this holiday season!

Wow, such an interesting discussion you were having here. I'm very grateful for this Christmas day. It's been a long long time since I've had any company at all on Christmas, which is usually a very sad and very lonely time of year for me. I invited my dad over for dessert and while we were both happy with our gifts (a framed watercolour of mine for him and two books: Barney's Version and Super Sad True Love Story for me) the real gift was that we ended up spending almost all day together actually enjoying each other's company. Even our dogs played together more than usual. I couldn't have wished for a nicer day and it was all the more appreciated since I would never have expected it to go so well. Amen to that!

Don't think I wished you a Happy Christmas, or at least not on this thread, so a belated Merry Christmas to you Richard.

ETA: link to above-mentioned watercolour (which I cropped into a square format)

Hey ho, Ricardo .. I hope you're keeping warm and staying indoors today with this blizzard. We just got back from visiting my FIL and when we first went to the rehab center, it was just starting to flurry ... by the time we left a few hours later, the whole car was buried in 2" of snow and coming down hard and fast.

Richard, How's everything going over there? Hope everyone either got out and home safely or you're all hunkered down to another serving of leftovers. Stay safe and warm.

Hi Lynda! Everyone, and I mean *every*one, is gone and it's back to Auntie and me. I loved it, I had a great time, and I am so glad it's over. I detest New Year's as much as Mother's or Father's Day for an invented, uccchy schmaltzfest, so I am left in curmudgeonly peace until the day after the hangovers are done. It's BLISS!

With ya on feeling that all of the New Year's hullabaloo is over rated.
zzzzzzzzzzz

It's really just bizarre to put the beginning of a year *spang* in the middle of winter, not in the spring when it belongs...or even at the *beginning* of winter...this is just bogus and boring, and an excuse for the amateurs to go drinking. Stay off the roads, everyone!

I agree with you re. New Year's Eve. Will and I will be home, reading or watching a dvd.

Stasia has to work New Year's Eve so I'll call her and wish her a Happy New Year, then most likely will head to bed.

Did you receive books for Christmas?

Have a nice time on NYE folks, I'll be playing poker at a relative's home.

>134 Whisper1: No, not as such. I got some gift certs for the 'zon and Buns and Nubile. I've ordered Cahokia and Counterclockwise from the 'zon, though of course they haven't arrived. Blasted blizzard!

>135 Carmenere: And I hope they do. *shudder*

>135 Carmenere: Poker is a great way to avoid NYE - I must suggest that some year soon. Jim and I will undoubtedly be in the arms of Morpheus (as my father used to say) by the time the clock strikes 12.

So, who ya going to blame? Pope Gregory? Julius Caesar? or that two-faced god Janus?

I missed some discussions here. I like all these pictures in this thread and since our computers at the office are so slow I can look at each picture with enough time... Okay, back to work.
I saw some news about the blizzard at the US East coast, must have been pretty bad. How is your heating system over there, still working?

Hubby and I stay home on New Years as well - we share a glass of bubbly and celebrate New Zealand's New Year (about 4 hours ahead of us) and toddle off to bed satisfied hours before New Years officially arrived here in Darwin - LOL!!!

Often, I am alone for New Years and in bed asleep befre midnight :P

Yup, I'm usually in bed with Kath (I know what you're thinking! -.-) because I'm such an early bird type and I can't be bothered to care enough to force myself awake to witness one specific tick of the clock that allegedly symbolizes something worth making such a fuss about. *Snores*

I can rarely make it past 10:30 pm..no matter what day of the year it is.. because I can rarely manage to stay asleep past 6 am. However, during the summer .. when I am off, my body sort of adjusts to an 11pm-7 am schedule. I like that so much better, but can't maintain it during work months.

Wow, we're just a bunch of party animals, aren't we? The Husband and I usually sip some sparkling apple cider and go to bed at 9 on New Years Eve. How *do* we keep up this fast-paced and fabulous lifestyle?

I guess I will just have to stay up and welcome the New Year in for everybody :) Since I will be at work, it should not be too difficult for me.

One of the best NYEs I remember was the one I decided to spend alone at home when I was about 30 years old, at an age when all my friends still were in full party mood. It was nice and quiet and I went to sleep early. It feels good to start the new year well-rested and free of headaches.

This year I will have my parents with me. We will have some nice food and wines and not leave the house, as I have a perfect view on the Merano fireworks from my terrace.

Gee, looks like I found the right group! You all crack me up, cuz I have about the same attitude about NYE. LOL

Ron, who never sleeps much at all, usually wakes me up at midnight, hands me a glass of water, we toast, kiss/hug...and back to LA LA Land for me. At least, that's what he tells me. I rarely remember.

I am usually awake for the arrival of the New Year, because my body adjusts very quickly to a 1-2am to 9-10am sleep pattern. (The first morning the alarm clock is switched on again is not fun.)

I don't generally bother marking the New Year at all: Stephen, I'm with you as regards the insignificance of the clock ticking. However, if I do decide mark it, I might possibly have a glass of wine to accompany the book I will undoubtedly be reading, and switch on the TV for the Big Ben's chimes. (Last of the party animals, me. *Snort*)

The winter solstice would be a good time to have the new year.

Kath: Indeed, I'm usually in bed at 10 and up by 6. But I can NOT break away from that pattern. :(

I will be up for New Year because I am rarely in bed before 12 anyway - but I prefer to avoid parties and fuss. I expect I'll spend the evening of 31st Dec this year setting up my 2011 thread, as I'm one of those who have been holding out till 2011 arrives. But as far as I'm concerned, we're still in Christmastide and will be till 5th January.

My boyfriend will be out of town visiting his father, so I can do whatever I want this NYE. I am really excited. My friend is coming over, and we might go and have some dinner at one of the restaurants around the corner from me. Then we are going back to my place to watch some movies while we read, knit and other such things. I am really looking forward to it. I am so happy that I do not have to go to some huge party where I only know about three people.

I have to be at work on the first to help finance close the year end books (I'm the systems person). Usually go to bed 10-ish, but will stay up til midnight this year.

Daughter works New Year's Eve and although she's 17 and has been driving her own vehicle for 6 months and I trust her driving skills implicitly, we'll be taking her to work at 6 p.m. and picking her up at 10 p.m. because of all the idiots on the road New Year's Eve.

Hi Richard!

LOLOL

Is it just me? Do I attract the somnolent to my thread somehow, some digital pheromone announcing "larks only, no owls need apply and SURELY no swans!"

I can't imagine a nastier tradition than getting urping drunk on the first day of what's meant to be a brand new year (for no good reason as we've discussed) and hugging the porcelain god begging for swift and merciful death. What are these yahoos *thinking*?

Ah Christmas traditions! I like the St. Nicholas to Epiphany calendar. 12/6 to 1/6. Advent, 12/6 to 24; Christmastide, 12/25 to 1/6. Simple. Easy. Logical. No doubt only because I grew up with it.

I know you will all be jealous of me. I work at the Church Bingo every New Years Eve. My friend & I were suckered into it by the Mens Club many years ago, and we are just a couple of gals who cain't say no. We bring our own libations, and when it's all over at 10:00, we go home. No use trying to sleep before midnight; I live in one of those neighborhoods where everyone is outside banging pots & pans and shooting off firecrackers.

This year, though, I think we're going to get wild & crazy, and she & I & her boyfriend are going to eat at the 24-hour diner across the street when we're finished with Bingo!

Please. Control your envy.

Terri... you're just too wild for me! I've been invited to my best friend's for a very small gathering (one other gal friend and that's it!) We're thinking of drinking wine and if we do, I'm pretty sure I'll crash as soon as we've called in the New Year along with everyone in Time's Square on television. But truth be told, I'd much rather stay home and get ahead on my reading (don't tell my gf I said that!)...

I have a bottle of champagne here, and if I think about it, I may even refrigerate and open it. Maybe.

Right now the only plan is for a movie with a friend that day. I am, however, going out for dinner the 30th.

Love it, Terri. I think you should invite the dancing boys along too.

My husband doesn't like to go out at all on New Year's Eve because of all the crazies out driving late, so we watch TV and sip some sparkling wine and go to bed when we feel sleepy.

Oh, no, Roni. Their instructions are to wait for me at home.

And Church is close enough to my house that I could roll home if I had to.

Stasia, in my 2011 thread, uttered the threat that she might not *gasp* create a 2011 thread! *has fantods*

Follows my reply, and a poll. DO NOT FAIL TO VOTE!

"Anastasia Matilda Shermandweller! (Yeah, I know, but it doesn't work with only one name. Try it sometime...you feel ridiculous.) You wash your mind out with soap, thinking you can say such mean and hurtful things on my thread!

You will march directly to the 2011 forum and begin your first 2011 thread no later than 1/1/11 (how can you resist, such a cool date!) and not upset the divinely ordained order of the Thingiverse: Let there be Stasia's Book Bullets Every Sunday! The people expect it, but the Thingiverse *depends* upon it!! The drop in traffic alone would cause there to be meetings and furrowed brows in Portland, discussing the probable need to close up shop.

You do not wish to be the sole and entire cause of LT vanishing from the digital welkin, now do you? How awful would you feel as news cameras the world over documented long, long lines of bibliophiles refugeeing away from their now-useless homes, computers smashed in anguished frustration at Life's sudden and cruel reorientation, in search of a bitter substitute for the bounteous land they were forced to leave, and clogging roads major and minor to all other traffic.

Yes. Global catastrophe *will* ensue. Avoid the cataclysm! Start your 2011 thread NOW!"

PS I think she's just toying with you, Richard.

Yeah, Richard, trust us, Terri and I know her well. There is something about traveling with her while getting lost that lends to a tremendous bonding experience.

Stasia, don't be stubborn. Play fair! Why would you want my "recommended by Stasia" pile to freeze?

>160 tloeffler: Who, Stasia?! Her?!? She has no sense of humor, she's a cyborg! Like Data, remember? Or was he an android...anyway, she can't make jokes!

:-)

>161 Whisper1: Hmmmf...how well could y'all've got to know her if you don't even know she's part machine?

Leave Stasia alone.....if she doesn't want to do something, who are we to force her? It's not like she doesn't give us the value of her comments on each of our threads. She who is the queen will do what she wishes...without our throwing temper tantrums to push her over the edge.

Other comments.....I too love the calendar Richard (153) and Genny (150) spoke of. I too grew up that way. A few Christmas decorations were ok (AFTER thanksgiving), and starting with Advent, we could put up greens and candles, install the childless creche, and hang wreaths on the door, but the tree went up on Christmas eve, the greens got red bows and sparkling things after vespers on the last Sunday of Advent, and we kept the tree up until Epiphany -when my Italian grandparents had a big dinner and gave out presents. I often wonder what people think the song "Twelve Days of Christmas" really talks about????

New Year's Eve....been there done it all, from throwing big parties for 80 people, to worrying about teenagers out all night, to doing First Night in downtown Alexandria VA, to sleeping through the Japanese incredible fireworks display the night my son was born, to watching the ski over Honolulu fill with so much smoke from fireworks that two animals succombed to smoke inhalation at the zoo!! Now we generally watch a movie, play backgammon, eat some gooey delicious dessert, share a chaste (or not !) kiss, and slide off to sleep before midnite, so we can awaken refreshed and ready to begin anew.

Ah, New Year's Eve. After the last four days (which now includes another trip to my mother's and a mad dash to get my sister to the airport on time), the last thing I need is a midnight bash. Tina, you reminded me to check out the First Night activities in NYC, but I suspect I will hide out and read or sleep instead.

BTW, I have lately (in my dotage) come to the conclusion that the habit of the young to do all the supposedly fun things that make them feel bad the next day are not the wisest way to have a holiday. Why take time off from work to be bad to yourself? Ok, maybe a little too much chocolate once in a while can leave a wickedly sated grin, but mostly, I'm breaking the habit of overdoing the food, the late nights, etc. as celebration. From now on, what I want is to wake up feeling wonderful and ready to romp through the day - preferably skinnier than I am now.

Uh-oh. another plan for the new year. Sigh.

Review: 96 of seventy-five

Title: ISLAND OF DEMONS

Author: NIGEL BARLEY

Rating: 4* of five

The Book Report: The Balinese chapter of artist/musician/anthropologist Walter Spies's life, as told by the intimate companion of those years, Dutch artist Rudolf Bonnet. Spies, a German of the Hanseatic sort, was in Russia during the revolution (one thing we tend to forget at a hundred years' remove is that Germans were the Americans of Eastern Europe for several hundred years), in Berlin during the grisly Weimar Republic, and ran away from his demons after breaking up with F.W. Murnau ("Nosferatu"?) by moving to the Island of Demons...Bali.

Here he spent the entire rest of his life. He became a stop on the tour. He was largely responsible for the view the decadent, rich West held of Bali as a land of lush, lovely, lascivious lads and, well, really, what else matters? So come (!) they did in their legions, infecting and changing and generally making Bali a Disney park. The Dutch, in that day and time the colonial power, thought that was just ducky...until WWII. *bam* into prison camp, *swoosh* out of prison camp when the Japanese won, *whisk* off to a less sensitive location...this then the end of our story, since Bonnet lived for many years after his beloved Walter's death, but the ostensible reason we're reading this novel is that Bonnet is visited by a handsome stranger, James Grits (Grits? Barley? Get it?), who is researching Walter, and these are his memories of the love of his life. It's a hoary old technique, but hey, who's to argue with tradition in an historical novel?

My Review: I loved this book. It felt so good to sink into Barley's nicely crafted sentences, into his clear and present love for Bali, for Spies, for the dear and dull Rudi, and the dead past. So many historical novels read like research papers gone metastatic. This one *reeks* of longing to be there, to be part of the world the author has studied and documented.

I recently read another historical novel, this one set in 1980s New Jersey, and clearly a roman a clef...and it was grisly, a Bataan Death March of a book, it was so very very evidently not a lover's nosegay to the subject, that I wanted to remove it from my belly-pillow with tongs and dispose of it in some dog-safe way so she wouldn't even sniff it. I was ready to exorcise that demon from my brain. Island of Demons did the trick.

I suggest the book to gay people, well, men mostly; the frankly disagreeable presentation of the female characters is unlikely to meet with the common or garden lesbian and/or feminist's wholehearted approbation. All you misongynists, whatever gender, c'mon down! This is your reward for wading through all the anti-man crap out there!

It really helps to know who some of the people who helped Spies put Bali on the map are: Barbara Hutton the stunningly rich heiress, Margaret Mead and Gregory Bateson the anthropologists, Vicki Baum the German Jewish Lesbian Hollywood Screenwriting Legend, Rosa and Miguel Covarrubias the depressing socialist straight people (GOD are they boring), composer/queer ikon Colin McPhee and his depressed, schizophrenic wife Jane; there are others, but that list, if it makes you pucker your lips and say "...wha...? Who...?" to each entry, means this is a fun romp, a good-time read; if there are little "aha!" moments, well, there is some lovely, bitchy subtext of the sort we *used* to call camp (a dying art, camp; so sad). But no matter! Just read it! So much pleasure to be had! Have some.

Richard...once again another great review. Thumbs up from me.

That sounds like an intersting book. Thanks for the good review.

#159: Richard, you are beyond ridiculous :) I love you anyway.

*smooch*

Having a weird night. Cannot rest. Auntie, OTOH, is snoring like a sawmill in a boomtown.

OTOH? o this old hag? please translate

It's a bad habit, Paul, using abbreviations and expecting everyone to know what they mean, sorry..."OTOH" is short for "On The Other Hand," though I like yours a lot better. I wouldn't get much call to use it, I fear.

Thanks, Richard. I know these habits. When getting sms from my kids ... they are so short but it takes me hours to get through the digits and letters. Like: äh jo, bi mir, sry, b/m N

#169 Sorry you are unable to sleep, Richard. May I suggest cold milk with a squirt or two of Hershey's chocolate syrup? sleep tight *smooch*

Well, that is too bad... not being able to sleep when auntie IS sleeping.
I hate those restless nights. ((((((rd)))))
OTOH :) I did sleep well, thanks to night time alke
seltzer plus, and woke up feeling yucky. sigh.

mmmmm chocolate milk! My niece gave me Ghirardelli hot chocolate mix for christmas. With peppermint.

Ack, Kath!!! There should be no feeling yucky mornings while your on vacation. Save them for work days. Hope you feel better after a cuppa.

hmmm tell me about it! How annoying! I am drinking coffee, because lack of it gave me a headache yesterday.. ( that and a few added bits ) .. no hot chocolate for me right now.

As soon as my brain actually kicks in I will take some cold meds...

>165 richardderus: Great review! Thumb.

>173 Carmenere: *shudder* Chocolate *shiver* is not soothing, but a warm milk and a sleeping pill was effective.

>174 mckait: Alkie plus made you feel yucky, or the cold that's been coming on?

>176 mckait: Thanks awfully, Claudzilla!

Hi RD!! Just stopping by to send you and auntie Best Wishes for the New Year!!!

Hi Tammy! Thanks, and back at'cha!

How are you doing today, kiddo? *hugs* and a 2011 smooch.

Dinner tonite turns out to be waaaay upper west side. Actually probably less walking involved than if it were here, so that's OK.

Chocolate not my fave, either. Any more than New Year's Eve is. Think I shall race through the remaining books in my 1010 challenge! :-)

I enjoyed your review. Though I'm neither a garden lesbian (what is that exactly? women who love women who are gardeners?), nor a staunch feminist, and I certainly can appreciate camp when it's well done, I'm not too sure this book is for me. Misogyny just doesn't sit that well with me, but as you say, if I were a gay man, I'd probably leap on it.

it was the cold that has arrived. yuck. I am pretty sure I will survive it though.
I took my first nap of the day at 9 am.. and I feel another coming on...

Review: 97 of seventy-five

Title: CLEO: The Cat Who Mended A Family

Author: HELEN BROWN

Rating: 3* of five

The Book Report: A family devastated by loss takes in a little black mutt-kitten and learns, painfully and slowly and with much trouble, to live the lives they've been allowed to keep despite the life that was lost. Marriages begin and end, relationships resemble the ones they began as not at all, and through it all, for a remarkable twenty-four years, a proud black cat runs the entire world from a succession of Kiwi then Aussie kitchens, living rooms, and Asian-run delis. One day she dies, and the pain of loss renews its hold on the current family configuration...gently, clawlessly, and with a sense of the rightness of life even in the absence of our dearly, dearly beloved.

My Review: I know that the publisher feels this is superlative writing. It's plenty good enough to tell the author's story. It's not lighting up the literary firmament. But the story is the star here. It's touching and it's heartfelt; it's amazing how honest one can feel the author being; and it's quite endearing how exasperated this woman spends her life being with her lot in life.

Reading about loss is always problematic for those who have suffered it...I lost my own son at an early age...but let me tell you now that grief and grieving end up being the constants of life so it's a damn good idea to get the coping techniques of others into your head and stat. You could do a lot worse than start here.

There is a moment near the end of the book, one which for obvious reasons I won't go into in a review, but that moment, that single page and a half, would make this book worth the US$16 it costs. Peace descends on us in the oddest ways, at the strangest times, and there is absolutely no earthly connection between the ease and the suffering it replaces. Unearthly connections, well, those I am not qualified to analyze.

So then, I hear you thinking, why'd you give the book a mingy three stars? It's about a cat. That's unforgivable.

edited/balky touchstone

>181 Chatterbox: Oh, well, once I got used to the idea that Auntie was having screaming fits at the ghosts and not at me, all went much more smoothly.

Huh! QUITE the change of venue. Enjoy! Tell me where you went, I'm feeling restaurant deprived.

>182 Smiler69: Thank you, Ilana...and I sort of doubt you'd find too much to yodel about 'twixt these covers, it seems so far away from the stuff I've noted in your liberry. Now should you decide to undergo gender reassignment this coming year, we should talk a bit more about it.

>183 mckait: Ew! Bleargh! NOT ON KATH'S VACATION, YOU $r(!&%&$^( VIRUS!!!

Great review of Island of Demons Ricardo! Thumbs to you.

YOU read a book about a CAT?!!

Caro, you took the words right out of my mouth.
The world is definitely coming to an end! Had it been about a dog, would you have given it 5 stars??

Richard Happy New Year to you and to everyone at LT. May 2011 be a prosperous one for all as well as healthy one!!

Don't be so surprised Caro.. rd only pretends to hate them .. he may not love them.. but..............

Richard, great review of Cleo, you are going to get some 'catty' remarks over this one. If you had to have a cat, I think Cleo would be your sort of cat! Having also recently read it, I think your review is spot on, Brown was very honest about her life and loss, that said, it also isn't my type of book.

edit: You cannot finish the year with a book about cats.

Happy New Year to you my friend! Thank you for your honest, open sharing, your quick, witty banter, and the laughter you generate on your thread and throughout the challenge group.

It was a delight to meet you at your September birthday bash. You give so very much to others and thus I hope 2011 finds all the love you give coming right back at ya!

>186 cameling: Caro! Quick, someone, drag up the fainting couch and loosen her stays! Yes, one needs must be au courant with enemy propaganda, y'know.

>187 Chatterbox: Had it been about a dog, dearest Suzanne, I would mortgage the house and buy the whole Thingiverse a copy! Not to mention spend three days crying while drinking bottle after bottle of Scotch.

>188 momom248: Thank you so much, Maureen, and to you too! I haven't gone looking for the thread yet, but have you come over to the Dark Side?

>189 mckait: No pretense involved, my dear, I really and genuinely hate cats. Suzanne brought Stella a toy (which I can't pry out of her jaws, BTW, huge hit!) so has now heard my encouraging calls to Stella in the flesh. Your tender sensibilities being fragile during cold-time, I will spare you them.

>190 avatiakh: Thank you much, Miss Kerry! I guarantee you there is a minimum of one more review coming before 12/31 ends here.

>191 Whisper1: *blush* THank you, Linda, coming from LT's Charge d'affaires -- kindness and hospitality, that is a lovely compliment.The Divine Miss asked me only this morning when you were planning to come back, and I said I hoped Eastertide. We Shall Speak. xo

Richard, please tell the Divine Miss I said hello. It was great to meet her. She did a bang up job at your party and it was very obvious that she cared deeply about wanting you to enjoy your special day.

pfffffft!

nyah nyah nyah

Glad to see the discourse on Richard's thread is at such a high intellectual level... :)

Per usual, Jim. We're about seven, I'm guessing.

*reaches for smelling salts*.........*sits up woozily*......wants pic of the toy Suz gave Ms Stella

> 184

Have just picked this up to be my first book finished in 2011. Have just reached the death of the son so still in early stages.

Am really liking the writing.

See you over in 2011

I want a picture of Stella's new toy too!

#184: Pass for me, please. I can't stand to read books with animals in them like that. I just *know* they're not gonna make it through the book alive, and that means an embarrassingly massive amount of tears will be involved. I'm not emotionally stable enough to deal with it. Plus, there's the inevitable question from The Husband, "If it's making you that upset, why not stop reading it?" I mean, really. How does one deal with such a ridiculous question?

With you on that Amber..! All of it :)

To avoid further outbreaks of the vapours, I shall procure a pic of Stella with her green-and-white candystriped bone.

Amber, good decision...as to That Question, it's right up there with The Divine Miss's, "more books?!? What are you going to DO with *more* books?!?"

I just shrug and go away. It's more socially acceptable than smacking the questioner upside the head.

>202 mckait: *smooch*

I hope you enjoy a wonderfully peaceful night and a great beginning to the new year. Smooches, Padre

Richard, I am sorry you lost your oldest friend (((hugs)))
I hope you can still find some happiness to start the new year with...

As you take your long nap to end the year with, here's wishing you a wonderful zippy first day of 2011 to start off the New Year with, Richard.

Happy New Year Sir! :)

you got kath's virus didn't you?

a book on cats? and a review on the book about a cat?

say it isn't so...

Richard, I am so far behind, I cannot possibly catch up on all the posts here and on your 2011 thread.

So let me just barge in here and wish you a very Happy New Year!

Just dropping in to say farewell to this thread and 2010 - see you over on your 2011 thread soon. And arbitrary date demarcations aside, wishing you happiness in the coming year!

Hugs, and more hugs to you! What a joy to know you.

Happy New Year Richard!! Best wishes for a great 2011. : ) Smooches. Your Berly-Boo.

>204 London_StJ: Thank you, my dear Crypto! It was a peaceful enough night, not too many firecrackers. Auntie slept fairly well. Poor dear thing.

>205 FAMeulstee: It is a new year, my dear friend! That's a reason to be happy right there.

>206 cameling: I think that's very likely, and I appreciate the GIF's energy, too, Caro! Happy Happy!

(((rd))

>207 curlysue: Thanks *aw*fully, Kara, for the wishes...yeah, I read the book, I ain't ashamed to admit it...much.... No virus, thank Goodness, just mold allergy. Benadryl works very well, but make no social engagements for the day you take it, I've learned.

>208 tymfos: Happy 2011, Terri! Hope it's your best reading year ever!

>209 gennyt: It's the arbitrariness that makes me such a grump about the whole thing, ya know?? Happy happy!

>210 Whisper1: Oh Linda, that is such a lovely thing for you to say! I appreciate the sincerity of the sentiments more than I can tell you in words.

>211 Berly: Happy Happy, Berly-boo! A *clink* of the seltzer glass to you for a great 2011!

>213 mckait: G'mornin Kath! It's Saturday...couldn't you convince your body to celebrate by sleeping til 7?!

I wish! but I did wake to a fascinating dream! Remember the commune that you and I have spoken of? I got out of a car with two other women ( no idea who)
and walked up into the hills. There I was welcomed with the others. There was a period of time where we were not fully integrated into the community, but once accepted.. it felt so warm and cozy and good.

I am somewhat late, but nonetheless, Happy New Year Richard.

Spent those B&N gift cards yet Richard?

I've got a $40 Christmas gift burning a hole in my pocket, so to speak..... decisions, decisions.

>216 mckait: What a lovely dream!! That should only be a premonitory one.

>217 sgtbigg: Thanks, Mike, but this is the 2010 thread, so it's done for. Kaputt. Daid.

>218 karenmarie: No, Horrible, I haven't...I hope I can today!!!

***DEAD THREAD***DEAD THREAD***DEAD THREAD***

Move along now, there is a 2011 thread all ready chuggin'!