Ape's 2016 Thread (1)

Hello everyone and welcome to my thread! My name is Stephen and, well, I like to read. I suppose you already knew that. I used to complete the challenge fairly easily but over the past few years I've barely managed to finish 50 books. I'd aspire to do better, but I've embraced my subpar performance and set my reading goal for 50 books instead of 75. Hurray!

For those interested, I'll post my 2015 stats in the posts below.



Currently Reading: King Rat
Currently Playing (PS4): Dragon Quest Heroes


Books read: 7
Pages read: 2,069
(+74 pages from Great Tales of Horror)

January:
1. Justinian's Flea by William Rosen
2. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
3. The Office of Mercy by Ariel Djanikian
4. The Siege Winter by Ariana Franklin
5. Nature Anatomy by Julia Rothman
6. Shell Games by Craig Welch

February
7. Too Many Curses by A. Lee Martinez

-------------------------------------------------

Video games played: 4

January:
1. Hyperdevotion Noire: Goddess Black Heart
2. Resistance: Burning Skies
3. Fallout 4
4. Killzone: Shadow Fall

February:
5. Dungeon Hunter: Alliance

~~2015 Reading Stats~~

Books read: 54
Pages read: 16,217

Average book size: 300 pages

I averaged:
44 pages per day
311 pages per week
1,351 pages per month

On average, I finished a book ever: 6.75 days

~~Fiction/Nonfiction~~
Fiction books read: 42
Noncition books read: 12

Fiction - average rating: 3.50
Nonfiction - average rating: 3.83

~~Gender~~
Books by male authors: 43
Books by female authors: 11

Male authors - average rating: 3.60
Female authors - average rating: 3.56

~~Owned Vs. Public Library~~
Owned: 36
Library: 18

~~Genres~~

Number Read:
Science Fiction: 12
Historical Fiction: 9
Horror: 6
Humor: 6
Mystery: 6
Thriller: 6
Fantasy: 5
Dystopia/Apocalypse: 5

Average rating:
Fantasy: 4.20
Humor: 4.00
Dystopia/Apocalypse: 4.00
Science Fiction: 3.50
Horror: 3.50
Historical Fiction: 3.22
Thriller: 2.83
Mystery: 2.67

Increasingly dismal year-by-year stats. Except I'm on a barely-perceptible upswing. Sort of.

Books read:
2009: 81
2010: 87
2011: 81
2012: 75
2013: 53
2014: 54
2015: 54

Pages read:
2009: 24,492
2010: 25,958
2011: 19,935
2012: 19,168
2013: 17,643
2014: 16,073
2015: 16,217

Average book size:
2009: 302 pages
2010: 298 pages
2011: 246 pages
2012: 255 pages
2013: 333 pages
2014: 297 pages
2015: 300 pages

Average pages read per day:
2009: 67 pages
2010: 71 pages
2011: 54 pages
2012: 52 pages
2013: 48 pages
2014: 44 pages
2015: 44 pages

The book meme! Just fill in the answers with books you read in 2015.

Describe yourself: The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, without question.
Describe how you feel: Red Planet Blues
Describe where you currently live: This Dark Earth
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: The Ocean at the End of the Lane
Your favorite form of transportation: Pod
Your best friend is: A Nameless Witch... *Dodges various thrown objects from LT friends*
You and your friends are: Bad Monkeys
What’s the weather like: The Foreshadowing might actually be appropriate...
You fear: The War of the Worlds
What is the best advice you have to give: Beat the Reaper
Thought for the day: I seriously never have an answer for this one.
How you would like to die: Embedded. Does that sound dirty? It was supposed to...
Your soul’s present condition: Secondhand Souls

Top 5 books of 2015!

1) The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman


2) This Dark Earth by John Hornor Jacobs


3) The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester


4) The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells


5) Mort(e) by Robert Repino

Great Tales of Horror by H. P. Lovecraft



Stories read: 4 out of 20
Pages read: 74 out of 600

The Call of Cthulhu
The Colour out of Space
The Lurking Fear
The Music of Erich Zann
Dagon
Pickmann's Model
The Dunwich Horror
The Statement of Randolf Carter
In the Vault
Cool Air
The Thing on the Doorstep
The Dreams in the Witch House
The Shadow over Innsmouth
In the Mountains of Madness
Herbert West - Reanimator
The Rats in the Walls
The Case of Charles Dexter Ward
The Whisperer in Darkness
The Haunter of the Dark
The Shadow out of Time

Happy new thread! I haven't set up my 2016 thread yet, but I'll try to do so soon.

Welcome, Misti! :) I'll be sure to star your thread as soon as you have it up.

Hi! Have a *. Thats a nice top 5 you have this year.

Thanks, and welcome, Bryony! :D

I plan to be more social this on 75's so you are going to see alot of me.

Fantastic! I'd like to be more active, I've been bad about not visiting the LT forums, sometimes for a day or 2, and then I get way behind on threads and overwhelmed. We'll see how things go this year.

Always pop by my thread it tends to be quiet

Okay...but be careful what you wish for. :P

This is my 7th year here I have never past 2 threads... we will see what happens.

Happy new year - a little early - stopping by to star your thread so I can continue to lurk!

Yay! I found you. I brought the edibles:

Welcome back!

Welcome back

Happy New Thread for the New Year!

BLING! Star dropped! Looking forward to lurking about in the New year!

Bryony: Yeah, the more active you are on the site the more active your own thread will be. Mostly because you can flood it with your own messages. :P

Jennifer: Lady lurkers are always welcome in my life...errr, I mean, my thread.

Sara: Ladies with edibles are welcome too!

Thanks Jim and Xymon!

Leah: Thanks, happy new year to you too. :)

Kimberly: All lurkers are welcome! Just know the things you see could make you go blind. :P

Stephen I suppose your right.

See, now if only everyone would respond that way whenever I said something.... :P

Ugh, you again?

(just kidding. Hi!)

Don't get used to it.

Haha, welcome, Nora. :)

Bryony: *Sigh* But just think about how much better the world would be!

Well... anyway Happy New Year. The ball just dropped here!

Hi Stephen! Glad to see you back again!

>22 Ape: I read that as "lady edibles are welcome too." Does that mean edible underwear? Or have we already gone cannibalistic on your thread! Woo hoo! *goes Lord of the Flies crazy*

>24 Ape: We'll get a t-shirt with that on it. ;)

LOL @ >25 norabelle414:

>28 BBGirl55: Uh oh! The ball's dropped already. *puts a mad dash on her last-minute reading* I mean, Happy New Year! :)

ETA: Btw, Stephen, while I was googling poop (um, from my thread), I found this nifty thing and made me think of you. Aawww. Aren't you glad Xmas is over? :P

Bryony: Thanks! I've never been one for ceremony or ritualistic behavior, so I was a sleep and not giving a damn at the exact moment of the new year. :P

Thanks, Micky! The same to you. :)

Sara: I mean, I'm pretty sure you can eat a lady without being cannibalistic, but what do I know? :P

Not so sure about the zombie poop soap. It looks...lumpy.

>31 Ape: That's true, but they're not very nutritious. They're not even on the food pyramid. They're on the zombie food pyramid, but well, zombies'll eat anything. o.0 *sexual innuendo boomeranged into the back of my head* Hee hee. Yeah, still not on the food pyramid, so I say poisonous.

I think it's the brains making it lumpy. Y'know, kind of like corn.... *ahem* never mind. :P

That is certainly an interesting food pyramid!

Ooooh, corn! Yes, I understand the brains now. *headsmack*

Yeah, if you google something like funny food pyramids, you get some seriously funny ones, like girlfriend-on-vacation food pyramid and some others, including dubious things found on the ground. o.0

Yep, apparently brains don't digest that well. *shrugs*

Hmmmm, the girlfriend-on-vacation pyramid sounds like my daily diet.

Hi, Stephen! Woot for Neil being in your top five!!

Hi Amber! Not only in the top 5, but he took the number 1 slot. :)

Found your thread... okay, really, I stumbled across it totally by chance but I am still really happy to have found it.

Happy New Year and best wishes for 2016!

>35 Ape: Vodka and root beer? That explains so much! ;)

Welcome and Happy New Year Lori and Xymon. :)

Sara: Haha, well, no vodka, but definitely root beer.

So I just realized that the H. G. Wells collection I've been reading from since 2014 is abridged, at least according to an Amazon review. It doesn't indicate that anywhere on or in the book, so if it's true I'm kind of upset about it. :(

Have a wonderful bookfilled 2016, Stephen.

Thanks, Paul!

Hiya, Stephen! I am attempting to get caught up on threads to start off the year right (or something). 50 books is nothing to sneeze at either, especially if you're enjoying what you're reading.

Re: your top 5, I read The Professor and the Madman a couple years back and really enjoyed it too. The Meaning of Everything was pretty entertaining as well (I collect dictionaries and books about them...).

>41 Ape: Nobody ever blew out their liver on root beer, so drink up, I say! :)

>42 Ape: Well, that just sucks. :( I'd be upset about it too. Was that one from the Dollar Store? The reason I ask is because I see a lot of abridged books there, which I don't like either. Maybe they only put "unabridged" on books that are just that, and by not putting anything on it, it's automatically "abridged." *shrugs* I can't figure out the evil minds of publishers yet.

Hi Mary! Welcome to the thread, and you are right, I read a lot of great books last year so I don't have much to complain about. The Meaning of Everything sounds great, and I love the title, so I'll take a note of that one. :)

Sara: Yeah, but there is that whole "diabetes" thing...
The H. G. Wells collection was a book I bought at Barnes and Noble, when I went in with my sister, for $5. It's a hardcover edition with several novels, so it was a pretty good deal. B&N has a huge selection of them too, they are by Fall River Press and you can see them on their website here. I desperately want the H.P. Lovecraft one, I'm always looking for an affordable collection of his works and that edition has an AMAZING cover. I wish I would have seen that the last time I was in there.

Edit: ......aaaaaaand I bought it....

My sister has the Edgar Allen Poe one, and I almost bought the Jules Verne collection the last time I was in there, but the text was really small and I heard his books can be dense to begin with so I passed.

*launches herself at Stephen for a hug* REMEMBER ME?! I'm baaaack! Oh man, I've missed you. All of you! :D

Ellie! *Hugs* Yep, pretty sure I remember you. Where have you been? Actually, I'll just find your thread and find out for myself. :)

I've been in my bedroom, same as always. :P Haha, life may have ebbed and flowed around me, and several years may have passed, but some things never change. The only difference is that now I have a library corner IN MY ROOM so I'm even LESS likely to actually go anywhere that isn't the kitchen. :D

Haha, yeah, we're in the same boat there. I'm as much as a useless parasite as I ever have been. :P

50 was my ballpark last year, too. We'll see what happens in 2016. ; )

Hi Ellie!!

Underachievers, unite!

Hey Berly!

And yes, I basically don't go out ever unless it's to the doctor for a prescription or to be dragged around Tesco. Even then I'll sneakily suggest an online grocery shop if I think I can get away with it - and if I have to go, I shop as fast as I can and go back to the car to read. Because I'm very sociable and functional like that. :P

I'm looking forward to seeing what book you read and what games you play in 2016!

Hi Stephen! I'm excited to see that you loved The Professor and the Madman...I've had that one on the shelves for AGES but haven't ever got around to it. Maybe it'll move up the list this year. *ponders*

Ellie: Ah, yes, that was the difference between you and I. I actually enjoy shopping, I just hate checking out, because it involves interacting with another human. *Shudders*

Melissa: Well, I finished my first game a couple days ago (Hyperdevotion Noire) and I'll be finishing my first book tomorrow, most likely. :)

Faith!! Wow, look at all these people coming back all of a sudden. I'm feeling all nostalgic. And feeling older.

(I wanted to post the perfect "we're back!" gif but then I realized that I don't know if LT supports gifs in posts and also I don't remember what references you or most of the people visiting your thread would appreciate the most and also I don't recall how to even post a gif so let's just say IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS and then go have a bit of a lie down and cup of tea from all this brain effort... *phew* )

PERFECTION.

Stephen - I quite like the actual shopping. It's the other people I don't like, haha. That's why I'm fine in, say, a bookshop, but then have a panic attack in the supermarket. Some people should NOT be in charge of shopping trolleys, and busy aisles and flickering lights and overheated stores together just make me want to take everyone out with some well-aimed baked bean cans. Then move to Pluto. :D

Faith: *Bows*

Ellie: Ah, see, I'm an expert at going shopping super early in the morning when all the stores are dead. I usually leave my house at around 8:30am, because the library opens at 9, and obviously I'm stopping at the library if I'm leaving my house, right? :)

#59 So very true.

#60 I agree.

#61 Ellie think how I feel i work in a supermarket. Now I would work in a book shop happily

#62 He He :)

*fangirl SQUEE!* There's Stephen! Happy new year! I've read two of your top 5, that means we both have excellent taste, right?

Happy new year!

Happy New Year.

>47 Ape: Diabetes...pshaw! That's just a myth. ;)

Oh, that's right! I remember you mentioning it now. And those are gorgeous covers. You bought the H.P. Lovecraft book? If so, awesome! :)

>4 Ape: lol, brilliant.

>58 dk_phoenix: >59 Ape: lol, again! So much lolling ;)

Bryony: Working in at a supermarket sounds like just about the worst job ever. Maybe the stockroom wouldn't be so bad...or stocking in general, but working a cash register sounds like absolute hell.

Rachel: Oh yeah, we totally have great taste. Although fangirl squeeing on my thread would argue for the opposite. ;)

Thanks Luxx and Jeff! Happy New Year to you both.

Sara: Well, considering we live in The Land of the Diabetes (aka the United States) I don't know if we can call it a myth...

Yep, I bought the H.P. Lovecraft one. I mean, if you are going to own a classic novel/collection, it might as well be one with a cool cover, right? That's the best thing classics! :P

Megan: There is nothing more enchanting than a woman's laughter. Well...that, and cleavage.

1. Justinian's Flea: The First Great Plague and the End of the Roman Empire by William Rosen



Pages: 331
Rating: 2/5
Publication: 2007

Nonfiction: Roman History, Plague (kind of)
Owned

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You might think a book titled "Justinian's Flea: The First Great Plague and the End of the Roman Empire" would be about...well, plague. That's why I read it, because I'm interested in microbiology and historical epidemic nonfiction. Sadly, plague doesn't even make an appearance in the book until 160+ pages into the book. The first half of the book is a broad, sweeping account of several hundred years of European history. Which is fine, if the book had been marketed as a European History book, but the cover/title/synopsis all say plague, plague, plague...and it's actually a minor part of the book.

Even when the author does finally get to the topic of disease, he spends tons of time giving a broad, sweeping account (again) of microbiology in general. While I enjoyed this significantly more than the first half of the book, it still wasn't why I was reading the thing in the first place.

Justinian's Flea is severely lacking in focus. It's so...well, broad, and sweeping, and the author tries way too hard to cram more into the book than the 330 pages allow. The result is a skipping, stuttering, and frequently off-topic narrative that is a chore to read. There is a lot of interesting tidbits scattered throughout the book, but overall I was quite disappointed by it.

>70 Ape:
Sorry your first book of the year wasn't a great one. It'll all get better from here.

>70 Ape: At least we are prewarned so we don't have to read it, hope your next read is much better!

Dee/Anita: Yep, my next read is turning out to be much better, thankfully. I started Treasure Island earlier today and I'm really liking it so far. :)

>70 Ape: Yikes...at that rate, I'm surprised you made it all the way through! 330 pages of meandering and not even on the topic you wanted to read about! What a trooper.

Glad you're liking Treasure Island, it's one of those books that while I love the original, I absolutely adore how other authors & film producers/writers interpret & retell the story. There are so many interesting takes on it out there.... Muppet Treasure Island was a hilarious movie (I was actually singing one of the songs from it today at dinner, believe it or not...! what are the chances?!), Disney's Treasure Planet was actually quite poignant, and the National Theatre in England put on a fantastic live stage production of Treasure Island last year that was broadcast to theatres around the world... and now I feel like there are other versions I'm neglecting to mention, someone else chime in!

Oooh, I love Treasure Island - and the Muppet one is the best film version!

I read Treasure Island last year I enjoyed it.

>73 Ape: Oh yay! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

>70 Ape: I mean, it does sound potentially interesting even if it's broad and sweeping, but don't you sometimes wonder why the title (especially the subtitle) so poorly reflects the contents of the book? I feel like this causes a good book to miss its true readership and leave a bunch of readers expecting a different book disgruntled.

Also throwing in a recommendation for Muppet Treasure Island. I should rewatch that sometime soon...

Happy New Year, Stephen!

I'm trying to whizz round and catch up with everyone before their threads get away from me - again.

Ah, see, you SAY that... but I've done both and they both have their hellish customers and vile moments! I thought bookshop customers would be different, but... no, not always. I think every single person in the universe should be forced to work in retail for a bit, might make them a bit more pleasant when they're back in that environment on the OTHER side of the till. >:(

Faith: Well, it had its moments, there were times that it piqued my interest, and that was enough to keep trudging through the uninteresting bits.

You know, even though Treasure Island is such a popular classic, I don't think I've experienced it in any form at all. I mean, I knew the themes going in, but beyond pirates and treasure and whatnot, I didn't know a whole lot about it. Maybe that is helping me enjoy it all the more.

Amber: I would say that I would look into the Muppet version, but I probably won't. :P

Bryony: Awesome! I'm about 2/3rd through it and I'm still really liking it.

Micky: Me too! :)

Mary: Exactly! I know everyone always argues that covers don't matter, but it's important to remember that what is on the cover is going to effect who buys the book. If you have a book about 1 subject but market it towards another group, and public response to it is going to be negatively effected.

I've been criticized by this in the past so bringing it up again is probably not the best idea for my physical well-being, but I think female authors would sell more books if publishers didn't put such feminine covers on their books. If you market you book to only 50 percent of the reading population, then you effectively cut your sales in half.

Anyway, marketing the book towards epidemic-lovers when the primary focus is Roman history just hurts it when people like me pick it up expecting something more science-oriented.

Humoress: Ah, good luck with that! I'm already hopelessly behind. o.o

Ellie: EVERYONE should be forced to work retail? Oh god please no don't make me do it! I'm a nice and respectful person, I swear. >_>

Oh, I agree. Not everyone should work retail. Just those nasty customers should work retail. The rest of us should get paid in books since we're "nice." ;P

*waving* happy weekend, Stephen!

I will say, after being the person who had to go around the library telling everyone, "We're closing in 15 minutes" and taking everyone's various responses, I was a LOT nicer to salespeople at stores who did the same thing to me. And I tended to leave 5 minutes earlier...

>82 Ape: Yeah, I think the covers and title are a very important part of marketing. Sometimes it's done perfectly and other times you wonder if the person who approved the cover art had any idea what was in the book. I also like being able to pick up a book with a relatively good chance of knowing it's a thriller or a romance before I've even cracked open the cover (very handy as a librarian, since contrary to popular belief I have not read all 9,000 fiction books in the collection). Also if there's a bee on the cover there's a relatively good chance I don't want to hold it in my hands (am I the only one with that particular phobia?).

Sara: Yeah! We're nice, so we shouldn't have to. (Pssst, I bought fresh rope at the hardware store, and sharpened the spikes)

Mary: Ha, yeah, some of those digital images are so bad. I mentioned that not long ago on last year's thread. You could literally take a closeup picture of tree bark and half a not-terrible cover, compared to things like this.

As for your bee phobia, maybe this will help. >:D

In other news, I finally had a chance to take my car to my uncle's house. He's working on another truck right now, but I should know if it's fixable in about a week. We'll see?

In other other news, I finally own a copy of book 2 of the Harry Potter series, so I can finally reread them sometime, if I want to. I also received that H.P. Lovecraft collection in the mail and I LOVE the cover art/spine! :)

>86 Ape: I have that one too :-D

Yeah, I just noticed that when I was on the book's page and saw your name, and Amber's as well. It was a cheap edition, but I love the look of it. :)

>85 Ape: eeeeek!!!!!

Sooooooo, are you desensitized now? *Helpful grin*

Well the first one was scary enough, but the bee one is truly terrifying. I also have a thing about eyes...as in I can't even wear contacts... so, no, not really :P

Well, so long as you understand I was totally trying to be helpful, of course. :P

>85 Ape: Nasty images..both! Thanks. I will have nightmares now.

You are most welcome, and there is always more where that came from. :)

I know! Which begs the question, "Why do I keep coming back here?" xoxo

Well, it's definitely not because I put cocaine in the cookies. *Nervous laugh*

>92 Ape: to >95 Berly: I'm contemplating making a new years resolution to never click on a link Stephen posts.

Helpful. Yes. :)

Not all of my links are bad! Like, uh, this one, for example. :)

Awwww! So cute! Now I am feeling completely manipulated, but willing to give you another try. Of course, maybe I manipulated you?! Ha, ha! : P

No no, I'm a changed man. BUNNIES FOR EVERYONE!

Hahaha ohhhh gosh. Well the one in >98 Ape: was cute. The other was also slightly terrifying.

I will say at least most of the time your post warns me somewhat about the content of links so I do know which ones to avoid entirely :)

>85 Ape: Aaww, you're so thoughtful! :P

>86 Ape: *fingers crossed your car gets fixed*

That is an awesome cover! :)

>100 Ape: Hahaha! Man, that guy went all out--bra and everything. You've gotta remember to repost that one for Easter. ;)

>69 Ape: you mean you're not a fangirl of yourself, or that you hate SQUEEers?

>70 Ape: Too bad about Justinian's Flea, it looked like it had such promise.

>86 Ape: That is beautiful. I'm jealous.

Oh. And. *fangirl SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (It was super long that time.)

>86 Ape: Daaang...that's a good looking collection. I've never actually ventured into reading Lovecraft, just read summaries for pop culture references' sake. Truthfully, I didn't know where to start. But that looks...perfect.

Mary: It's good to have a small warning right before being traumatized for life, right?

Sara: Yeah, also hoping the car gets fixed. I mean, the thing is rotting into the ground, but if it could be made drivable for a little while longer, that'd be nice...

Easter is on a Sunday, so maybe you should post it for your Sexy Sunday picture! :D

Rachel: Well, considering my crippling lack of self conscious a general sense of self-loathing, I think it's safe to say I'm not a fangirl of myself. :D

Justinian's Flea could be good if you go into it with a different frame of mind than I did. That being, expecting it to be about plague.

Faith: Yeah, it's an awesome edition, and you can buy it at Barnes and Noble for something like $5-$8. :)

2. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson



Pages: 282
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 1883

Fiction: Classic
Owned

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While Treasure Island was far from the first tale of swashbuckling pirates, it is certainly the most influential. It's the story of a boy named Jim Hawkins who finds a pirate treasure map in the possessions of a man who stays at his father's inn. What follows is a timeless tale of nautical adventure fraught with danger, discovery, and treacherous pirates.

This is a classic novel, published in 1883, so by now it has been analyzed to death. It's not really necessary, and it certainly isn't the original intent of the book. I'm not going to sit here and spout adoration for the "subtle nuances" of the book, nor for the depth or the intellectual meanderings. It's a relatively simple, straight-forward adventure story that has stood the test of time because it was well-written by a great author and filled with complex, memorable characters. Don't be foolish and overthink it.

Okay, so I'm thinking about doing something a bit different for the H. P. Lovecraft collection I recently purchased. Typically I like reading a book from start to finish, and only 1 book at a time, because I get all OCD when my stats get out of whack from overlapping books. The problem is, I don't want to ruin the Lovecraft collection by forcing myself to read through 600 pages of short stories in densely packed dialogue-less text.

Soooo, for the first time ever, I'm actually going to read it alongside other books. I'm going to try to read 2 stories per month, and I should finish it around October. (There are 20 short stories in the collection.) I think what I'll do is include the pages I read in my monthly stats, but note which pages came from the collection and which ones came from other books. For example, if I read 1,100 pages from other books and 50 pages from the collection, I'll just say that I've read "1,150 pages (1,100 + 50 pages from Great Tales of Horror)"

I'm not going to include it in my year-long page total though until I finish teh book, mostly because I'm afraid I'll lose track and add extra pages (or forget to add pages) trying to coordinate that constantly. So I'll just include a separate "pages from Great Tales of Horror" stat and once I completely finish the book I'll add all 600 pages in bulk.

I'm also going keep a separate post at the tops of my threads keeping track of which stories I've read, which will allow me to read out of order if I need to for any reason.

So, hopefully this will allow me to read it and enjoy it, and hopefully I won't get all OCD about the "minor" incorrectness in my stats throughout the year.

Also, I have no idea why I went into such detail about this. >_>

Oh! And each time I finish a story I'll write a mini-review, or at the very least note that I've read it and give it a rating.

H. P. Lovecraft update



The Call of Cthulhu

Pages: 25
Rating: 5/5

I'm genuinely impressed with this. While the plot is nonexistent, this is an astounding example of world building. The Call of Cthulhu doesn't tell a story, but it creates a nightmare, and fills it with vivid, frightening imagery. It's completely unlike anything else I have ever read from the time period, or any time before it. I can see, for that very reason, why it wasn't popular or particularly successful, but I can also see how such a small amount of text could influence so many authors for nearly a century now.


Full Size

>107 Ape: That sounds like a great plan! Lovecraft can be especially dense to read without any breaks, so I think you're doing the right thing.

I agree, Nora. I think if I tried to read through 600 pages straight I would quickly come to hate it. Anyway, I mentioned in the post above that I finished the first story and I really liked it. :)

Stopping by to get caught up. Good review of Treasure Island. Like you said, "Don't be foolish and overthink it." Good for you on deciding to space out your Lovecraft collection reading! I learned the hard way that plowing through all stoies in a collection can, at the end, turn me against the author, or at least against that particular collection of stories. That happened when I read the China Mieville short story collection, Looking for Jake. Not a pretty sight.

Wishing you as lovely week, Stephen.

>105 Ape: Omg! Why didn't I think of that? I just might do that. But I haven't been doing Sexy Sundays these past couple Sundays, so maybe I'll just do an overdose of disturbing pics one Sunday. No heads-up, just BAM! :P Get your puke bags ready.

And, yes, that would be cool if you could drive your car a little longer. Speaking of "rotting into the ground," my Ford was almost sinking into the ground a couple weeks back. Apparently, one of our ground pipes broke and was making a nice muddy mess under my car. I almost got stuck, but hey, at least no sink hole. :) And, yes, we did get the pipe fixed.

>106 Ape: I'm glad you liked that one. :) I remember my mom reading that to my sister and me when we were kids. I don't remember much of the story (though I think I still own the book; I should look into that), but I saw several movie versions of it, even the Mr. Magoo one. :D

>107 Ape: That's super cool! :) And don't worry about explaining everything. It's your thread; you can write what you want, even if it's paragraph on paragraph of what you stepped in in the back yard. But please don't. ;) Besides, I got you beat with poop-on-the-sole-of-your-shoe: dogs and chickens. Great combo!

#106 Glad you liked Treasure Island. Go luck with H P Lovecraft.

My son got me a Cthulu-themed iPhone cover this year for Christmas. It's one of my favorite stories!

>105 Ape: Well, um...I can't, being all Canadian and stuff (no B&N here), buuuut I will definitely keep an eye out for it! Also, love the review of the first story. Succinct but intriguing!

I really enjoy the podcast Welcome to Night Vale, which I know is Lovecraft-influenced so I really should read some of his stuff at some point.

Stephen! This just popped up in my Twitter feed and I thought of you immediately. A couple of writers at TOR are doing a Lovecraft Re-Read and posting commentaries in the form of blog posts. It looks really interesting and I'm bookmarking it for when I eventually get to reading the works: Lovecraft ReRead.

Lori: Yeah, I have a few short story collections so if the Lovecraft read goes well I'll be able to do it again in future years. I'd like to do the same with The Body-Snatcher and Other Classic Ghost Stories.

Sara: Oh no, what have I done? Well, I'll ready my vomit bags, I suppose. *Grimace* :P

I'm glad you didn't get swallowed by a sink hole!

Bryony: Me too, and thanks! :)

Jim: Haha! I have a Cthulhu-themed desktop background at the moment. :)

Faith: That doesn't stop you from ordering from their website like I did...unless they don't ship to Canada... I'll bookmark the site as well and peruse it as I finish stories myself. :)

Micky: Yeah, I have been saying "I should read some of his stuff" for years, but I found it oddly difficult to find good collections. Even though there are a bazillion horror novels "inspired by Lovecraft" his work still doesn't seem to see a lot of publication.

I'm probably a bit behind here, but I just learned that Mary Roach has a new book being released later this year! *Squee*

>118 Ape: I'll make sure to lay plastic everywhere and offer ponchos at the door for projectile vomit. :P Now I must spend countless hours on almost-banned sites and gather my Sexy Sunday collection.... bwaha! ;)

I am glad I didn't get swallowed either....um, there's probably a sexual innuendo in there somewhere, but brain working not today.

>119 Ape: Cool! What's it called? Or about?

Oh, I'm always available if you need a sexual innuendo. How about this: Hey Sara, you totally could have invited me to your house to show me your sink hole! Yep, you're welcome.

The Mary Roach book is called Grunt and it is about "humans at war." I can't wait for the syphilis jokes. :P

LOL! Ok, I'm totally not brain-dead (yet) to get that one. ;)

Yay for syphilis jokes! *fingers crossed there'll be some homoerotic mentions as well*

If I had a nice car I'm sure I could make an entirely inappropriate and highly scandalous joke about "plunging a hot rod in Sara's sink hole." Yep, you see, I'm a professional. :P

Oh yes, homoeroticism is a must in anything military-related. :D

3. The Office of Mercy by Ariel Djanikian



Pages: 305
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2013

Fiction: Apocalypse/Dystopia
Owned

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Natasha grew up in America-5, one of many glass domes that shelters survivors of a mysterious apocalyptic event referred to as the Storm, 300 hundred years after it happened. The community is composed of multiple generations of humans that have been bioengineered and cultivated by the initial survivors, and they have lived for so long through strives in bioreplacement, making them nearly immortal.

It all seems reasonable, except Natasha works in The Office of Mercy, a group of workers whose job it is to search out "tribespeople," or people who live outside of the dome, and eradicate them. The people of America-5 live under a strict ethical code, and part of that code is a twisted concept of eliminating the suffering of others, primarily through killing anyone who doesn't live as comfortably as they do.

What follows is a surprisingly philosophical read. If you can't guess the obvious from the synopsis, Natasha begins to question just how ethical her actions are when a large group of tribespeople is on the verge of being wiped out, and though the book is still very plot-driven, it still offers a lot of depth that so many dystonia novels lack. This isn't a pretty apocalypse where the situation is dire but a teen protagonist does nice things and kisses boys. It puts characters in brutal situations where there is no "right" choice, with actual repercussions.

Admittedly, the plot suffers at times to drive that point home. About 2/3rds of the way through the book I felt the characters were behaving irrationally to move the plot a long, and right after the big climactic action scene towards the end there is a 20-30+ page passage that feels a bit dense and dry, but I don't mind sacrificing plot for a few cerebral meanderings.

Overall, I really enjoyed The Office of Mercy!

Ah good--a little sexual innuendo from Stephano! Happy weekend. : )

If only all women were so receptive to my sexual...innuendo. :P

....aaaaand I visited Dollar Tree today, so naturally I bought books.

Blood Prophecy by by Stefan Petrucha
Breed by Chase Novak
Work Done for Hire by Joe Halderman



I also went to the library and brought 3 books home from there as well. Phew!

>123 Ape: Indeed you are a professional. ;)

>124 Ape: Sounds interesting. I'm glad you got through another winner. And looks like you have some more possible winners from the Dollar Tree and library? *fingers crossed*

>70 Ape: I can't believe the plague book was barely about the plague....ripped off! You had my interest piqued with the title, and then I was. Let down harshly by the 2/5 star rating.

Lolling about the sexual innuendo, it's just so easy for some people!

Sara: They all have pretty low average ratings, but so does The Office of Mercy and I liked that, so we'll see! :)

Megan: Yeah, it was a bit of a let down. You don't have to have a mind for the sexual innuendo, for sure! Also, a little-known fact, a person's proficiency at sexual innuendo is directly connected to their inability to have actual sex. Which is why I'm so good at it. The innuendo, that is....

H. P. Lovecraft update



The Colour out of Space

Pages: 23
Rating: 5/5

A meteor with very strange properties falls on a family farm, and things start going terribly wrong. All the vegetation dies, and then the family starts going crazy. This one was a little bit more plot-driven, and it was really cool to see it unfold. It almost reads like an author's summary before actually writing a full book, where the author describes the increasing craziness without all the hundreds of pages of fluff in between, which I loved. Some genuinely creepy moments too, like when Anni returns to the farm by himself towards the end of the story. My one and only complaint is I wish the "colour" had a bit more substance. I know that defeats the purpose, but in this case I think it would have driven home the horror factor for me personally.


Full Size

There is so much Lovecraftian art out there that I've decided to include a piece related to each story I read, if there are any available. The above is a depiction of the farm in The Colour out of Space. This one is really cool too, but it doesn't depict the well.

>126 Ape: I have read Breed - um what did I think of it - let me see -

this is what I wrote back in 2014 when I read it

It was gross.... it could have been an awesome and horrifying story but I felt the author was more worried with grossing the reader out rather than terrifying me.... the story at times was a little choppy because of the animalistic behavior of the main characters and I was seriously creeped out by this story.... but not in an OMG I can't believe this is happening way but in a creepy old man pedophile feeling little boys at the corner park creepy.... wtf?

3/10

Maybe you will enjoy it better than I did :)

Yep, we'll see, at my current reading speed it would take me something like 5 years to read every book I own, provided I don't buy any more in that time, but I'm sure I'll get to it eventually... :)

Stopping by to see what mischief and mayhem has been happening here. All looks good.

Glad you're enjoying the Lovecraft. I think breaking it up is really the best way to go about it. I have a really hard time getting through books of short stories. And I've never read a Lovecraft collection! I do have The Weird, which I've been begging myself to read for a while now. Someday. Some day.

Lori: I'm glad the mischief and mayhem is satisfactory. :)

Rachel: Wow, The Weird that looks like quite the undertaking! I also have trouble reading short story collections, even though I tend to like books where nothing happens and tend to like smaller books with more concentrated ideas (with less plot-fluff) short story collections always feel dense for me. I think the issue might be with how you have to read them. If there are 2 stories in a row that are, say, 30 pages each, I will read the first one in a day with ease, but then I'm in a dilemma where I don't want to start a 2nd story and not finish it, but I still want to read something. The blocky format that requires lengthy periods of reading is what bogs them down for me, I think.

I borrowed it from the library once, never finished it. Not because it wasnt good. Books like that and The Vampire Archives are set up so weird with the double pages on one page that makes the writing so small you almost need a magnifying glass to read by.

Oh yes, that is a major issue with classics in general, I think, is how they shrink the text down so small to print it as cheaply as possible. It makes the book feel all the more dense when you read for what feels like hours only to realize you've only read 10 pages. It technically shouldn't matter, but it is discouraging and makes it feel like it's going to take forever to finish it, which isn't an issue with books with average-sized text.

>129 Ape: Yeah, I saw the low ratings, too, but anymore, I don't pay too much attention to ratings. The books still sound kind of interesting.

>130 Ape: Nice picture! I wish I could get into Lovecraft's stuff, but I haven't yet. :(

>131 Ape: Good idea and beautiful picture! :) I like.

>132 lovelyluck: I like gross, but "creepy old man pedophile feeling little boys at the corner park creepy"... um, no, maybe not. Still, if I saw Breed for sale, I'd probably buy it. The cover vaguely reminds me of another horror novel with a pregnant lady on it as well. I can't remember the title or who wrote it, but when I do, I'll post it here...on Stephen's thread...where all the creepy photos go. ;)

ETA: Found it! Good ol' Jack Ketchum. I knew it was one of those under-appreciated horror writers.

I chcecked out a Jack Ketchum book from the library once last year, but found out after I got home that it was part of a series, so I never read it. I know he is well-liked in the horror communoty though. :)

In other news, convincing my sister to read books has finally payed dividends. She refuses to buy anything but hardcovers, but she was less picky when she first started reading. Soooo, she had a trilogy in paperback and she is going to replace it with hardcovers, so I am now in possession of essentially brand new editions of the Broken Empires series.

>140 Ape: Oh, yes, he's definitely liked in the horror community. And some of his movies are pretty darn good, too!

>141 Ape: Yay for hand-me-downs! :) I'm not familiar with the series, but free books are always awesome. You are gonna be seriously busy this year. :D

Oh, I didn't even know he did movies...

Yeah, I wasn't familiar with the series either, but, free books! I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic right now. I've got books piled up everywhere. So much so that after all these years I'm considering actually spending money on bookshelves. My sister has these cheap ones that kind of suck, and will probably fall apart in a few years, but they would replace the ancient entertainment center I'm using now, which is already falling apart to begin with. It's literally sagging in the middle from all the weight of books.

Not sure if I want to spend money on shelves that are probably going to fall to pieces in a few year, but I'm having such major book storage issues that I'm tempted.

>143 Ape: My shelves are all of the cheap, particle-board variety, the kind that you put together yourself, and so far they are doing all right for me. But I'm also feeling a little claustrophobic about the piles of books in my living room right now, because I don't have quite enough shelving.

Yeah, that's what my sister has too. I can't find the shelves on Amazon, but they can be found at Walmart for $30. Yep, $30 bookshelves...with a 2-star average rating, haha. I figure at worst I can just load it up with paperbacks and leave the heavier books in the sturdier furniture.

It's becoming an issue because I've started stacking them on my computer desk, I've got a couple stacks beside me now, so I'm starting to feel hoarder-ish. Which, when it comes to books, I totally am. :P

>143 Ape: Well, his books have been adapted into movies, and he usually writes the scripts. Oh, and he does little cameos in some of his and other people's movies. He was even in Header (the movie), a book and movie I know you're just dying to read and see. :P

Ah, yes, book sag. It happens to the best of us. ;) But maybe some good bookcases will remedy that. Or even crates or heavy-duty boxes (like printer paper boxes) for temporary use.

>144 foggidawn: Ditto here. :) But I don't feel claustrophobic. I like the term "cozy." ;)

>145 Ape: That's a good idea with paperbacks on the flimsier shelves. I bought some shelves like these years ago and like them fairly well, except there's the whole don't shelve tons of textbooks or anything on them, because they'll sag.

And I say you're not a hoarder yet, until your library starts looking something like this.

>143 Ape: Could you reinforce the middle of the shelves you have to keep them from sagging? What if you made tight stacks of books in the middle of each shelf to take the weight? I feel like we should be able to figure this out. Do we have a real engineer in the house?

ETA: If you feel like going to the hardware store, there's also this article called "How to Reinforce a Crappy Wal-Mart bookcase" http://betsyandorion.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-how-to.html

If you're using the shelves just for somewhere to put your books, but not display them, you could stack them flat, so the books support the shelves above?

That's a bit roundabout, I suppose; books supporting the shelves which are supposed to hold the books ....

ETA you might like this Men At Arms quote from bluesalamander's thread

http://www.librarything.com/topic/210771#5437968

>147 norabelle414: Love the article. :) Thanks for sharing!

Sara: Ooooh, Header, right. It's funny that book has over a 4-star average, actually, since books like that tend to have poor ratings seemingly out of principle. :P Hey, those bookshelves don't look bad. Is that metal? It must be better than particle board. :) Haha, may books don't quite look like that, but I'm pretty sure in a few years I'll be sleeping in a house that looks like this.

Nora: That article is interesting, actually. To be honest, even though I'm not super handy, I don't think it would be that difficult to build homemade bookshelves from the start. The problem is lack of tools, and by the time I spent all the money to even rent them I might as well buy pre-made ones. The same goes for upgrading the shelves. If I'm going to spend all the money on materials/tools, I could just buy better shelves in the first place. Stacking books in the middle of the shelves is brilliant though!

Humouress: Yeah, I have an old shelving-thingy I'm using for books that, after needing more space, I've started flat-stacking to save more space. You right about books supporting bookshelves that are supposed to support books, but I'll just be happy to 'box them in' so they aren't on the verge of toppling on my head at every waking (and sleeping) moment of my life. :P

In other news I have my car back, and the brakes work! Kind of. They are super spongy, but they work, in the sense that they bring me to an immediate stop now when needed. Most likely there is just air in the lines, so I'll drive it around for awhile and if they don't firm up we'll have to bleed the lines again. On the bright side, working brakes, hurray!

>150 Ape: Header probably would get a lower rating, that is if "normal" people read it. I doubt most people would want to, though, not that I blame them. (I loved it though.)

Yeah, the shelves I linked to are metal, though the board is kind of crappy, so don't go crawling on it, thinking it's a bunk bed for midgets. :P (My mom bought the same kind of shelves for storage, and hers ended up splitting in half.)

Awesome future man cave btw! :D

>151 Ape: Yay for working brakes! :)

Ah, the shelf LOOKS really sturdy. I wonder if the wood is a convenient size to be replaceable by something more substantial. Also, I have the dust and poor lighting to have that bedroom/man-cave, I just need more books. :P

If I do buy the crap-shelves, I may even spend a few extra books to cover the cardboard backing with wallpaper. It looks really good and it isn't expensive at all. We'll see. I won't be doing anything any time soon with the weather we are having, but maybe in a week or 2 I'll have some shelves. Or I'll just decide that $60 would be better spend on 60 dollar tree books instead. :P

Yay for working brakes!!! And gas is cheap, so Stephen is hitting the road...somewhere!!

Oh yes, cheap gas is the best! Although I should note that my car is still rusting out and kind of scary to drive, so I still won't be driving far, haha. My back wheel actually locks in place after it rains, and one of my front wheels squeaks extremely loud. I'm pretty sure it's going to fall to pieces one day as I'm driving down the road...but at least I'll be able to stop while it happens now.

4. The Siege Winter by Ariana Franklin/Samantha Norman



Pages: 338
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2014

Library checkout
Historical Fiction

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Ariana Franklin (also known as Diana Norman) was writing The Siege Winter when she passed away in 2011. It could easily have been lost forever, but her daughter, Samantha Norman, had a successful career as a columnist, and decided to finish her mother's work and publish it under both their names.

It follows two sets of characters. The first is Penda and Gwil, a mercenary and a young girl he rescues after finding her raped and near-death in a decrepit church in the murky fenlands. Penda doesn't remember what happened to her once she recovers, but she insists she isn't a girl and demands Gwil to teach her to be a warrior. On the other hand is Maud, a teen chatelaine of a small castle that is torn between a war between two armies competing for the throne of England. Maud's only care is for her people, but she is pressured to "choose a side" and she fears either choice will bring her people to harm.

This, for me, was a very character-driven novel, which is a huge plus for me. The plot doesn't really go anywhere, and from a literary perspective the authors do a poor job of highlighting the desperation of a besieged group of people. Being in a castle surrounded by a huge army is a desperate situation, but there is never a sense of isolation and the horrors of siege warfare (such as disease and starvation) never come into play in this book. Mostly they feel like a group of people stranded in their hotel while it rains on their vacation.

Still, despite all that, it's the character building that really sets this book apart. It's a brilliant demonstration of character development, and the ending is far more fleshed out and "complete" than most books I've read in the past. I'm probably being generous with my rating, but this aspect of the novel is so far above average I have a hard time not boosting it up into the 4-star range for that reason alone.

H. P. Lovecraft update



The Lurking Fear

Pages: 16
Rating: 4/5

While reading this one I thought it felt a bit uninspired. It is about a manor house atop a mountain is the source of local legend - that a demon that lurks in or around the house hunts and kills during thunderstorms. The atmosphere is that of a traditional haunted house story, with a bit of abominable snowman (except with lightning instead of snow) thrown in. I wasn't super enthusiastic while reading it, but it does have an interesting ending that completely changed my perspective of the whole story. Ironically, I have this story in another collection, so I think when I eventually read that book I'll be sure to re-read this to see how much I enjoy it when I already know where it is going.


Full Size

>153 Ape: It's fairly sturdy. It's not like it's fallen over or anything. Yet. I've thought of doing that, replacing the wood with something else; but for now it's not sagging with my books. But maybe I'm not trying hard enough with my stacking. ;)

Yay for dust and poor lighting! :) I'll find you some books. They probably won't be ones you'd want to read, though (romances, old economic/business books, Farmer's Almanacs from before you were born, etc). We've got a basement of books at work that nobody seems to want to buy, and they need a home. :*(

That actually sounds like fun, using wallpaper on the back of the "crappy" bookshelves.

$60 at the dollar store!! I mean, bookshelves? I mean, books? Argh! Decisions! Maybe go half-sies--$30 at the dollar store and $30 for bookshelves?

>154 Berly: And getting whiplash! Hooray for brakes! ;)

LOL @ >155 Ape:. I think my mom thinks the same thing about my little Ford, too--that it's just going to instantly rust and fall apart all at the same time. But I love my little p.o.s. :) *fingers crossed yours lasts longer than you think*

>156 Ape: & >157 Ape: I'm glad you had two interesting reads back-to-back. And thanks again for posting the pics with your stories. Those are perfect. :) I still probably won't read anything by him, but nice touch!

>153 Ape: No .... don't spend extra books!

Drive safe.

I know the feeling when your car is slowly dying. My car has all thees lights on in the dashboard that tell me I should take it in to get it fixed, but I already have and they said it would be about $4,000to fix. Not worth it. It has served its purpose--made it through all three kids learning to drive (I didn't want to get a new car for them to bang up!). So now it is a local car only and I have made sure everyone has a AAA card to call if when it breaks down. Sort of looking at cars so I know what I want when it actually dies. I did fix the brakes!!

If you have a good secondhand shop around, this is a great way to get a sturdy bookshelf on the cheap. You can get dressers/armoirs a lot of times for ~$30 and then just replace the drawers with solid wood (which you can cut to size in the store for free).



Then, take the drawers and make a second bookshelf!

Sara: You can't fool me! A library basement filled with old books? Pfft. I know what you really have down there. Portals to alternate universes, pet dragons, and arcane artifacts! Apparently the wallpaper-backing is a common thing. If I can get a can of adhesive and a cheap roll of wallpaper on discount I'll try it. If I screw it up, I can always just flip the backing piece around and use it as it is intended. :)

$60 might sound absurd, but looking at my From Where stat I actually own 77 books bought at Dollar Tree, so I can definitely manage it!

The H.P. Lovecraft art has been perfect so far. That is definitely from the story too, the 3 people are a part of the story, and you can see some ominous clouds above the manor. :)

Humouress: Hmmm, I don't know, "more books" is always a good thing. :P I'm a pretty safe driver, in the sense that I don't speed. Not sure if my car is a safe driver though. o.o

Kim: Haha, I wouldn't want teens driving new cars either. My mom stuck me with a cheap clunker (a 1995 Ford Escort...in 2006) and it worked well enough for me. I should really NOT drive my car long distances, but I probably will sooner or later, particularly if there is a big book sale or an LT meetup nearby. :P

Leah: Ha, I've watched some "upcycling"-type shows on TV and it seems like a cool idea. Tools are still an issue though. Plus there is a chance I'd sink a bunch of money into it and fail miserably. :P

5. Nature Anatomy: The Curious Parts & Pieces of the Natural World by Julia Rothman



Pages: 223
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2015

Library checkout
Nonfiction: Art/Nature

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It's kind of difficult to classify this book, and even harder to determine its intended audience. It's a nature book, that claims to cover the anatomy of natural things (if the title didn't make that clear) but it is more of an art book than anything. The author hand-painted every image in the book, and the information that accompanies her art is...rudimentary, at best. It kind of reminds me of an elementary-age science book in that regard.

I personally found this in my local library's science nonfiction section, but it could easily be in the children's area, or the art section, and not feel out of place at all. That is probably the biggest issue for me, considering where I picked it up and what the title is, I was expecting a bit more scientific depth. That's not the book's fault, really...or perhaps it is, simply because it doesn't fit cleanly into one category or another, leaving it an awkward and gray middle-area. Which is exactly how I'm rating it.

Yay for working breaks!

>136 Ape: That's pretty much the same problem I have with short story collections. But I think I will attack it the same way you're attacking the H. P. Lovecraft. Soon. But not until I finish all these ARCs. I have 4 more that I want to finish before their publication dates. And I don't have much time for "real" reading right now. Why, oh why do I keep requesting ARCs?

Glad to see you have your car back and with working brakes! Wahoo! Bookcases.. that is always a dilemma. I have to say, I really like the bookcase unit made out of dresser drawers..... walks away to ponder this idea some more.

Rachel: Ha, I'm getting really good at not requesting ARCs. I check the Early Reviewers page every month but I don't remember the last time I put in a request...probably 3-4 months ago, at least. I request pretty much everything in the Member's Giveaway that slightly interests me and doesn't require a review, though. :)

Lori: I like the idea, but I think I would have a more structured layout. If I ever did something like that, I'd probably just stack them, with the "drawer end" sticky-outy part (very technical term) alternating on the left and right sides, so it would look "precarious" but would be nailed together.

>161 leahbird: What an awesome idea! :) I'm kind of doing that now (using old dressers to house some of my books; that way my cats can't get a hold of them), but I love their idea of pulling the drawers out completely.

>162 Ape: You got me. We have all that and hundreds of patron skeletons who never paid their fines. :P

$60 in one swoop at the Dollar Tree sounds kind of impossible to do, unless yours has an incredible selection. Ours usually has the same couple dozens books (several copies of each, and always the Bible), until they get a new batch in another month or so. And you're ahead of me for books bought there. I only have 52, but I wasn't very diligent about using that From Where stat when I added books.

I especially love the woods in the picture. I like those kinds, where the branches are so thick, you can't see the sky or hardly anything around you. It's creepy fun. :)

Well then, now I'm really glad my library doesn't do fines. :P

That sounds similar to ours. There are always bibles, tons and tons of them. And children's coloring books. I don't know how often the books change, but I usually check in once every month or two. There are some books that are always there, I don't know if they never sell or if they just have a huge stock, like the bibles.

>169 Ape: Oh, yes, the coloring books. We have tons of those, too; as well as some really crappy abridged versions of children's classics. I'm not exactly sure how often our Dollar Tree rotates books either, but I go about as often as you do, and that's when I notice their inventory's changed. I'm sure they do something with the leftovers. Maybe even throw them away. *cringes*

What a terrible thought! *Shudders*

Ok, I'll say they manage to slip behind the shelving and are underneath it. Does that make you feel better? ;)

>163 Ape: I should really NOT drive my car long distances, but I probably will sooner or later, particularly if there is a big book sale or an LT meetup nearby. :P

I'm planning to go to a conference in Columbus this summer. And my friend who went to Columbus last summer was raving about what a good place it is for bookstores. So I feel like there should be an LT meetup.

Oh yeah, there are some great bookstores in Columbus, including The Bookloft, a used bookstore so big it needs a map. :P

I've never been there, but I did go to Acorn Bookstore when I met up with Rachel a few years ago.

6. Shell Games: Rogues, Smugglers, and the Hunt for Nature's Bounty by Craig Welch



Pages: 274
Rating: 3/5
Publication: 2010

Nonfiction: Nature/True Crime
Owned

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Poaching is something that most people are familiar with, but more often than not most people associate it with hunting, where a single person kills an animal or two out of season, or he poaches a few endangered animals for some precious material or another. What people don't think about are massive poaching operations, that remove a huge population of animals from an ecosystem in one fell swoop with devastating consequences afterwards.

Shell Games focuses on illegal fishing in the Pacific Northwest, primarily in the Puget Sound of Washington state. It uses a case of illegal geoduck poaching to create a 'storyline' of a sort to move the book along, told from the perspective of detectives and informants alike, but it also speaks broadly about illegal fishing in general, covering instances of white sturgeon, dungeness crab, and leopard sharks.

While I wouldn't consider the book groundbreaking, it does a great job recounting the geoduck poaching and sting operations in the late 90's/early 2000's. Definitely recommend if you are interested in topic, or live in the Pacific Northwest. I'd also recommend The Lizard King by Bryan Christy along with it.

>175 Ape: I'll wait for the movie. :P

I don't know, even if it was made into a movie, it'd still be a documentary. :P

Noooo! Actually, I would watch it if it were a documentary. I just don't have time to read the book, though it is an interesting topic. I guess that's why we have the E.L.F. and other radical groups up here, kind of to offset the poachers, nature-rapers, etc.

Hi Stephen! I finally found your thread!

Sara: I googled E.L.F. but only got 'Eyes Lip Face,' a cosmetic company. :P

Hi Kriti! Welcome to the madness. :)

>180 Ape: LOL!!! They're a decent company, you know, good products on the cheap, but I have a feeling that finding your perfect shade of bronzer is not entirely relevant to your interests...

Well, if it made me look like this...

Oh; I thought it was a library lending system.

>182 Ape: Now THAT would be some kind of bronzer! Woooo-eee!

>180 Ape: Yes, E.L.F. stands for our super-drag eco-terrorists. :P Lemme find the wiki page.... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth_Liberation_Front .

>181 dk_phoenix: Oh, no, I think bronzer in the winter would be good for everyone! :P

>182 Ape: & >184 dk_phoenix: Maybe bronzer for guys.... I think I'll pass on that one. o.0 And I know he has one or two muscles, but why is it I always look at that other muscle on body builders? They need genital camouflage or something so the pervy audience judges can focus on those other muscles.

>183 humouress: That's actually pretty cool. :)

Humouress: That's awesome! I didn't think it would work with my library because it uses a dated catalog system, but when I went to check their website I see they've updated to a modern one. Cool! :)

Faith: Yeah. I think I would need several gallons though... :P

Sara: Ahhhh, Earth Liberation Front. I was going to say that is the same name as an evil group of people in a video game I once played, but I was way off, it was the Earth Defense Force. *Head smack* As for "body builder bulge," yeah, I hope the bronzer helps works for that too...

Morning!

Morning, Kimberly! :)

January Summary

Books: 6
Pages: 1,820
(1,753 + 67 from Great Tales of Horror)

Fiction: 3
Nonfiction: 3

Owned: 4
Library checkout: 2




H.P. Lovecraft stories read:
The Call of Cthulhu
The Colour out of Space
The Lurking Fear

Video Game summary:

Games played: 4

Playstation Vita: 2
Playstatinon 3: 0
Playstation 4: 2

Yes, I reserved a post for my video game summary and then forgot to use it. :P

Anyway, I bought the cheap $30 bookshelves. Technically $27. I bought two, but I only built one today, so I'll have more work do the tomorrow. I might take pictures, but the room I'm putting them in doesn't have any good natural light, so it'll be a terrible picture. Still, I'm pretty happy it! It's a bit more sturdy than I expected, not wobbly at all after I weighed it down with book, now hopefully it won't collapse... :P

I'm probably going to need a 3rd by the looks of it, but we'll see.

You've inspired me to try out some H. P. Lovecraft stories. Though I think I'll do try it on Audio. And I'm going to squeeze in a short story from The Weird every once in a while from now on. At that rate, it will take several years to get through all the stories. :) But. Still. You inspire me. :-*

>186 Ape: Yeah, there's the Earth Liberation Front, as well as the Animal Liberation Front, which always makes me wonder what their stand is on the their initials A.L.F., since ALF (an old TV show you probably don't remember) used to eat cats. o.0 Kind of ironic.

Bronzer helps remove body builder down-there bulge? Oh! Me, me! I'll volunteer! :P

>191 Ape: Yay for underage cleavage and monsters! :P

>192 Ape: Yes, that is always the dilemma with book lovers/collectors/hoarders--do you spend your money on more books or more shelves? :D But congrats on buying two bookshelves and getting at least one up!

>193 The_Hibernator: Yes, Stephen inspires a lot of people to do a lot of things, some things they regret later on. ;P But good luck with Mr. Lovecraft!

>192 Ape: Woo woo!

>194 saraslibrary: You mean Alf, the hairy alien, big eyes, big ears, big nose? No, never saw it. How old do you think I am?

Rachel: Hmmm, I usually only inspire people to run in terror, or make vows of celibacy. This is certainly new. :D

Sara: I don't think I ever saw an episode of Alf, though I would have been 2 when the final episode aired, and that's not counting re-runs. Anyway, I'm familiar with Alf through the toys and whatnot, I never saw the show, but I saw the alien a lot as a kid. I didn't know he ate cats though!! 0.0

No no, I was thinking that if bronzer made me look like a body builder then I'd hope the effects extended to that....errrr, extension. :P

I don't think she's underage, because she's immortal! That game is a game about...games. They have immortal goddesses that represent different gaming consoles. That one is the Playstation goddess, and she's kind of 16-19ish. Nintendo, since it's a console with mostly children's age, has a more pre-teen looking goddess, and the Xbox has an older woman with monstrous boobs since it is more known for it's Mature-rated games. Here's a pic. From left to right it's Xbox, Sega, Playstation, and Nintendo.

Sadly, I've never had a knack for convincing women to do things they would regret later. *Sad* :(

Humouress: You don't look a day over 22. *Waggles eyebrows and winks* ....ummm, see, this is why I can't convince women to do things they will regret... :P

Hey, I remember watching Alf! How old does that make me? Darn kids. Get off my lawn!

I would need new bookshelves too if I didn't start taking books to work instead. I have a small stash since I'm not allowed to bring anymore adoptions home. I have that Martinez book on the back part of book shelf to be picked up someday. Depending on how you like it, it may be moved up to sooner.

>195 humouress: Oh, phbbt! ;) Yes, that ALF. And you don't look a day over...what do you want to be? 20? 21?

>196 Ape: You're not missing out on the show, but good, at least you know who I'm talking about. And, yes, he ate cats! XP Or p*ssies, as some Alf pics stated. Thank you, inappropriate google search!

Oh, gotcha. Yes, bronzer enhances all aspects of the body, I'm sure. Or at least their marketing department will say it does, so it must be true.

She could be immortal and still be underage. Like with vampires, some freeze at a certain age. And I'm guessing by the pic, they earn a bra cup every decade or so. o.0

Have women take pictures of their...um, no, that wouldn't work. You could just google that. Let me think on that one and get back to you. *puts thinking cap on*

>197 foggidawn: Not a day over 12, since we're all pretending to have never been around in the 80s. Or 90s....

>196 Ape: Oh, Stephen! *swoons*

>199 saraslibrary: *recovers* Oh Sara!! *out cold*

Hi ya! At the library yesterday I noticed Mistress of the Art of Death was part of a series. "Thought you oughta know".

Misti: It makes you Just the Right Age of Awesomeness, of course. *Continues wiggling eyebrows and winking* ....okay, I'll stop now...

Xymon: So far I'm really liking it. The plot is a little on the thin side, but I really like the characters! :)

Sara: Well, the game was made in Japan, so I guess the creepy underage thing isn't too surprising, right?

Humouress: You're swooning!? There must be a super hot guy standing behind me, right? :P

Kimberly: Yeah, I haven't decided if I liked the first book enough to bother with the rest. It's a mystery series so the books are more episodic in nature, so I'm satisfied enough to not continue the series...for now...

Well, no picture of the bookcases today. Why, you ask? Because when I went to put together the 2nd unit one of the boards didn't have any of the necessary holes drilled into it. It apparently skipped that step when passing through the factory. Soooooo, now I'm stuck. I guess I have to return it, but that's going to be a serious pain consider how heavy the thing is. I actually emailed the store yesterday asking if it's necessary to bring the whole shelf in or if I could just get a replacement for the 1 board, but they haven't responded. Grumble.

>200 humouress: Oh, hey! Would you look at that? I made a girl swoon without using chloroform this time. ;P

>202 Ape: Japanese games = child porn. Yep, I think you're about right on that one. ;)

>203 Ape: Man, that sucks. :( Could you drill the holes yourself, or is it more complex?

>202 Ape: >204 saraslibrary: Well, if you can't pay people compliments on this thread without them ducking, I give up. I'll transfer my attentions to the hot guy behind Stephen ...

>203 Ape: Yeah; I've got a keyboard for my iPad that's annoying me similarly in that there's a tiny piece that's broken off so it won't hold the iPad in place now, though the keyboard itself works perfectly. But I don't seem to be able to replace that tiny part, so consequently the whole thing is almost useless.

>205 humouress: Oh, yeah, that dude is pretty hot! But what's he doing to Stephen?? o.0

Sara: Nope, can't drill the holes myself, They are huge, coin-sized holes that you drop these metal circular thingies into. :(

Humouress: I knew you were swooning over him instead! That's okay, I'm used to this sort of thing.

I'm well familiar with "the little plastic part that breaks." I've seen expensive outdoor furniture that was made really well, out of metal, except the metal was held in place by plastic brackets underneath the chair and relatively out of sight, and those brackets break in no time and render the chair useless.

Sara: *Whispers* Actually I hollowed out his torso and I'm using him as a human back pack. It's definitely not weird or anything...

>207 Ape: Again, bummer. :( Did you ever get a response from them? If not, I'm guessing you'll probably have to return them.

Killer? Or gay? Or killer? Or gay? Yep, killer is definitely the least weird of the two. :P I had to google human back packs and kind of regret it now. XD Click me.

I haven't gotten a response, but I'm questioning whether the message went through on my dial-up because I didn't even get any kind of confirmation email, so I'm trying again. I'd try to email the company that made it, but I can't seem to find their website. They are called "Mainstays," but all I'm getting is Mainstay hotels.

*Clicks link* Oh, I was picturing something horrific. That's not so bad at all. :P

7. Too Many Curses by A. Lee Martinez



Pages: 316
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2008

Fiction: Humor/Fantasy
Library checkout

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Nessy is the servant of a dark wizard named Nargle, her job is to keep his cursed castle in relative order. Which is kind of difficult considering her master's penchant for cursing his enemies and collecting them in his castle. Nessy has her hands full with haunted staircases, bleeding walls, and gargoyles that won't stop talking when they need to be polished.

Nessy is at peace with her place in the world though, and takes pride in her work. That is, until her master gets swallowed by a nargax. Now she is left to tend the castle in his absence, which she is perfectly capable of doing, except the castle seems to have a mind of its own, and things quickly spiral out of her control.

I really liked just about everything about Too Many Curses, the characters were great and the humor was spot on for me. I've said numerous times that Martinez doesn't get enough attention for his contribution to the fantasy/humor genre, and this is another prime example of why I feel that way.

My only one complaint is that, because there is no firm antagonist throughout most of the book, it feels a little directionless, particularly in the middle of the novel. I didn't mind this at all, because I was still adequately entertained by the antics of the characters, but it's what kept me from giving it a full 5-star rating. It's still a great book though!

H. P. Lovecraft update



The Music of Erich Zann

Pages: 7
Rating: 4/5

A man recalls living in an apartment building in his youth, where he could hear a man playing music at night that can only be described as...otherworldly. This one is haunting and atmospheric, and all I could think while reading it was that it would have made a perfect episode of the Twilight Zone.


Full Size

>209 Ape: Have you tried Mainstays Corporation or anything like that? I found this review site, and all their products got bad reviews. (It's not necessary to click on it. I just wanted you to know a lot of people aren't happy with their products.) I tried bbb.org (the Better Business Bureau site), but I didn't get much help. But then, I was really short on time. I hope you're able to figure it out! :)

Yes, considering they both have their clothes on, it's very G-rated. And I just love the photoshopped device in the human back pack's crack.

>210 Ape: Looks kind of good! :) I have Monster by the same author I may try and fit in this year; that is, if it fits one of my categories.

>211 Ape: Purdy. Makes me want to go out and lick toads and eat random shrooms. Thanks! :P

>210 Ape: I really like the sound of this one, but I doubt I'd be able to find it. :0(

Sara: Yeah, their products consistently have terrible reviews because they are cheap crap. But the "cheap" part is what made it affordable for me. As mentioned previously, I'm trying to overcome the poor quality by only using them to support lightweight paperbacks. Anyway, I did more research and apparently it's a Walmart brand, so I guess I have to figure out how to email Walmart as a whole (instead of my local store, which apparently doesn't answer emails.)

The Big Library System has Monster too, so I'll probably read that one eventually. I'm leaning towards In the Company of Ogres as my next Martinez read though, whenever I get around to it.

Oh, darn, if only you had said "lick mushrooms" ...*Devilish grin*

Humouress: His books are great! If you like the sound of that one but can't find it, A Nameless Witch is a similar book by the same author. :)

>214 Ape: I don't mind some cheap crap. It's not like I'm a millionaire or anything, but our Walmart is so darn scary. And that's just the staff. Then there's all the shoplifting. You always have to double-check what you're buying, because sometimes stuff'll be taken out of the box (ie, DVDs). I've had that happen.

That's a good idea with the paperbacks. :) And you're right: Mainstays is a Walmart brand. I saw their page on the Walmart site, but I didn't have a chance to search further. (Darn work!)

Cool. Good luck with Monster and/or In the Company of Ogres. I kind of got a kick out of the latter book's German book cover. Looks a little like Shrek. ;)

I've had my RockStar this morning, so I'm on to you with your mushroom-licking sexual innuendo, mister. :P

I know you're not going to like this, Stephen, but the only way you're going to get in contact with any kind of Walmart customer service is to call them on the phone.
If it makes you feel better, they probably have big call centers that get lots of calls and they won't have any idea who you are, or care. You can even hang up on them a couple times if you want.

Sara: Yeah, it's pretty cheap stuff. These are the shelves I bought, in black. It's all cheap particle board with a cardboard backing. Still, it's better than having my books precariously piled up on every surface in my house. :)

The German version does kind of look like Shrek. Also a Magic the Gathering goblin.

What? Sexual innuendo? Me? Nonsense! >_>

Nora: Ack! Witch! Burn her! She mentioned the Thing! The "ph" thing! Everyone knows that particular device is a machination of hell, so clearly Nora is in service of the dark lord!

>217 Ape: I'll take your word on it being cheap. The photo makes it look nice; though I noticed they only have a few smallish books on it.

What, you mean you don't want to make book forts like I do with my stuff? :P

Oh, hey, it does! I've never played Magic the Gathering, but somebody's obviously been ripping each other off.

Speaking of sexual innuendos, I'll skip over them and be more blunt. They have mushroom dildos! I was googling dildos last night (don't ask), and I found some. :D

I wanted to post an angry mob burning the witch, but... *sob* ...our work computers block sites like sherv.net. :*(

Wait, if Nora's servicing the dark lord, then shouldn't you be "all hail"-ing her, since she'd be evil and stuff?

Huh?! Where am I? Surely I didn't accidentally stumble into Stephen's...oh...Oh!

Sara: They are super cheap. In fact, mines already looking bendy. I've re-positioned it so it's braced against a wall now, haha. My sister has 3 of them, and she has them against 1 wall and then all braced against one another, which is probably helping a lot. Mine was free-standing, which was probably a bad idea. Hopefully it's better now. Book forts are fine and good, but they are kind of scary when they are several feet above your head when you sleep (which I definitely have done before, and still have a good 3-foot stack on my bedside table.

Aren't all dildos mushroom dildos, in a way? :P

Oh, right! All Praise Nora, servant of the dark lord! *Bows*

Rachel: In my what? In my what? You didn't find my porn stash, did you!?!?!? Actually, I don't have one of those. ...errr, I mean, in the physical realm, that is. *ahem*

So I got an email response from Walmart. It was the customary "go away and bother someone else" response you typically get from customer service. Why did I expect anything else?

>221 Ape: That's why you gotta call them. You should call them right now and hang up. Just for practice.

It'd be easier (for me) to just lug the thing into the store and exchange it in person, so I'll have to do that soon.

>220 Ape: do I look like I'm in your physical realm?

Well, crap.

The weird stuff I downloaded by accident, I swear. >_>

Hmmmm

>220 Ape: Hmm, bendy's not good for holding books up. Pretty soon your books will be holding the shelves up. ;)

Yeah, I've done book forts before. Not for fun, but because I was in the middle of shifting stuff around. And then my cats simultaneously went, "Dominoes! The Human bought us dominoes! On the count of now, let's knock them over!"

Strangely, no, not all dildos/dongs/what-have-you are mushroom-shaped, or even remotely look like a penis. This is kind of like the mushroom head I saw, but it's not the exact one. And there some cthulhu-inspired dildos (you should get one just because no respectable Lovecraft fan is complete without one :P). And then are some fisting ones that are shaped like hands. And those creepy ones shaped like President Obama. And crucifix ones (all hail, Nora :P). And gun-shaped ones. And great! I'm shopping for dildos again. See how quickly I get sidetracked? :P

ETA: Found it: http://www.amazon.com/OptiSex-Perfect-Premium-Glass-Storage/dp/B00A4O4CH4/ref=sr... . It doesn't say it's a mushroom, but it reminds me of the 60's--'shrooms, psychedelic colors, etc. And there are chili pepper glass dildos, banans, eggplants...wth thinks this stuff up? o.)

>221 Ape: Yes, A+ Walmart customer service. ;)

>223 Ape: Sounds like a good plan. :)

>225 Ape: Yes, while looking for even weirder stuff. :P

Rachel: I'm not sure how to gauge this reaction....

Sara: Haha, I was just doing a major re-arrange of my books, so had similar book forts about the house. I just finished, and I officially loathe obnoxious stacks of mass market paperbacks that absolutely refuse to sit still and NOT fall over every time I so much as walk within a foot of them. *Glares at paperbacks*

Well, hurray, sex toys for everyone. o.o And here I thought it was mostly men who were the creepy perverted fetishist. You can shove Cthulhu in your lady-parts! ...I'm appalled...and maybe a little turned on. :P

Weirder stuff? I don't think it gets weirder than the stuff I already ha...errr, I mean, right, what you said... :P

New thread is up a bit early, because this one takes FOREVER to load on dial-up.

>228 Ape: Yes, paperbacks are crap at making good book forts.

And, yes, sex toys for everyone! :P

*lugs her bag of sex toys to the next thread*