Before I Go to Sleep

Imagine waking up each day remembering nothing about the day before. So it goes with Christine Lucas, the woman at the heart of S.J. Watson's 2011 novel “Before I Go to Sleep.” The man in bed with her is a stranger; the face she sees in the mirror looks decades older than the one she thinks she should have.

Christine narrates her own story in the form of a diary she begins at the suggestion of a doctor who works with her in secret because her husband disapproves. Dr. Nash calls her each morning to tell her where she has hidden the diary. She reads it to discover anew what few details about her life she has been able to gather and record. Yet these details are often contradictory. Did she lose her memory because of an accident or as a show more result of a beating? Did she once write a novel or not? Did she have a son named Adam, and if so, is he dead or alive? Why are there so few pictures of her life? Did her best friend really move to New Zealand? Who is lying to her, Dr. Nash or this man who tells her each morning that he is her husband? Is there anyone she can trust?

To make such a story both believable and thrilling takes great skill and diligence, and Watson performs masterfully, which explains why this was a best-seller a decade ago. The reader may figure it all out before Christine does, but the reader has the advantage of being able to remember the previous chapter. show less

"What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?" wonder Christine Lucas. Due to trauma, she has lost both her long-term and her short-term memory. She awakens every morning not knowing anything about herself. She is surprised by the age of the woman looking back at her from the mirror, surprised by the man in her house who introduces himself every morning as her husband Ben, surprised by the doctor who calls her every morning to tell her where she has hidden her journal and that she needs to read it. It is through her journal that we begin to piece together her story. And the first line in the journal reads "Don't trust Ben."

A little bit slow to start, this was an otherwise superb read! Christine makes a wonderfully unreliable show more narrator. It had me guessing until the end who was or wasn't trustworthy as well as what was happening with her. show less

Memories define us. So what if you lost yours every time you went to sleep? Your name, your identity, your past, even the people you love–all forgotten overnight. And the one person you trust may be telling you only half the story. Welcome to Christine's life. Every morning, she awakens beside a stranger in an unfamiliar bed. She sees a middle-aged face in the bathroom mirror that she does not recognize. And every morning, the man patiently explains that he is Ben, her husband, that she is forty-seven-years-old, and that an accident long ago damaged her ability to remember.
Can you imagine waking up every morning not knowing who you are, where you are, or who the person lying next to you is. This is Christine Lucas’s life. Every day, show more she wakes up with no memory of her past due to a traumatic accident that has left her with a rare form of amnesia. Her husband, Ben, patiently explains their life to her each day, showing her pictures and recounting stories. It’s a dark and intense story.

Christine’s world had been turned upside down when she started seeing Dr. Nash, a neuropsychologist. He encourages her to start to keep a journal. She hides it from Ben, and the journal becomes a lifeline as Christine starts piecing back together her fragmented memories. Each entry reveals more about her past and the disturbing reality of her present. Through her journal, Christine discovers she was involved in a, auto accident, but inconsistencies start to surface. The more she writes and reads, the more she realizes not everything is as it seems. People in her life, including her devoted husband, might not be who they say they are. As she delves deeper, she uncovers secrets that make her question everything she thought she knew. The tension ramps up as she tries to uncover the truth about her past and present before time runs out, and she loses her memory once again.

I don’t have enough good words to say about this book. When you think about your memories you have to define what is real…what is false… and how many are a little of both? We all will find that sometimes they fool us and lead us down the wrong paths…make us make unwise decisions. This is the heart and soul of this haunting and twisted story. We find out early in the book that Ben, her husband is not telling her everything…Dr. Nash isn’t either. Christine’s journal entries are misleading…where this story is going to take us is anyone’s guess. The ending is so worth the wait and I bet like me…you will change your mind about what is real and not real and still be wrong.

Overall, it's an excellent 5-star read that any reader that thrives on excitement, suspense and intrigue in their mysteries will get their money's worth with this one. show less

I adore this book. It had sat on my bookshelf for ages, not something I ever thought I'd actually pick up and read, until a friend of mine spotted it and started raving about it. So I picked it up and literally couldnt put it down again. This is the book I will hold accountable for my regained love of reading. It is amazing.

I will say here that losing my memory is one of my biggest fears, and this book did absolutely nothing to make that fear any better.

It is a thriller in the truest sense of the word, the whole time you know somethings not quite right, you feel it in the pit of your stomach that something must be terribly wrong, but I for one didnt work it out until just before the reveal.

The protagonist's vulnerability means you show more become quite protective over her as you read, and that adds to the unnerving sense of something being off. You fear for her, you want everything to work out and for her to have her happy ending and of course to be cured. I've not known a book in so long to have me screaming at the pages, wanting her to listen "Don't go to sleep! Don't do it!"

The ending is satisfying, and open, so you can believe what you want about what happened to the characters.

Fantastic book. Five stars. show less

I definitely liked this book - but not as much as I expected to when I eagerly pre-ordered it in January. I think this was mostly because of the word 'thriller' emblazoned across it; for me that conjures expectations of a taut, suspenseful page-turner, when in fact it was more of a slow-burning literary novel that just happened to have a crime driving it forwards. It was a great book, just not in the way I expected when I started reading, and I think that dented my overall enjoyment somewhat.

It opens as Christine wakes up. She has no idea where she is or who is lying beside her. Fumbling her way to the bathroom, she is horrified to find a fifty-something woman staring back at her in the mirror. Around her reflection are photos that she show more has no recollection of posing for, and the man in her bed introduces himself as her husband Ben. Before he goes to work he explains that she had an accident and now has amnesia, waking up every morning unable to remember where she is, sometimes feeling like a twenty-something woman, sometimes even feeling like she is still a child. A little while later Christine gets a call from her doctor, who meets her for coffee and hands her a journal that she has been writing for the past few weeks. Back home she opens it and is confronted by a scrawl across the front page: 'Do not trust Ben.' She reads on, determined to piece together her history... Who is telling her the truth, and who is lying - and why?

Much of the book is made up of this journal, which is simultaneously a great device and a slightly irritating one. It contributes quite heavily towards the slower pace of the novel, because Christine repeats herself so much, particularly earlier on. You could argue that this is made necessary by the subject matter - she has amnesia, after all - but as a reader I admit I found it a little dull at times. At the same time, it did mean that as each piece of the puzzle fell into place, it had quite an impact. Like Christine, I had to read between the lines as the daily entries built up, trying to work out how her returning memories fit together, who she could trust and what might really have happened to her. It was a good mental workout!

I'd certainly say that this is a thought-provoking novel. It really makes you think about how an individual's identity and sense of self is tied to memory, to a personal history filled with experiences and people and places, and how bewildering it would be to have to start afresh every day. There are little moments scattered through the book that really hammer home how carefully Watson must have had to consider each and every page, and how impossible a linear narrative would have been without the journal. Christine doesn't know about 9/11 and the war on terror, for example. She's never seen a mobile phone before, has no knowledge of her own middle-aged body, and has no real feeling of love for Ben because to all intents and purposes, she's meeting him for the first time each morning. This would be a great novel for a book club, because there's just so much potential for discussion - in fact, there are a set of questions at the end of the book for that purpose. I'd definitely recommend it - just don't make the mistake of expecting a fast and frenetic read like I did! show less

To wake each morning with no knowledge of what went before – this could be the premise for an endless tale of horror, but instead S. J. Watson’s Before I Go To Sleep is an intriguing, compelling story of a woman in search of herself. Perhaps half its power lies in the fact that we’re all, in one sense or another, searching for identity. With no knowledge of the woman’s condition, readers empathize quickly and enter her fears. Are we accepted or fooled? Are we loved or used? Are we rising toward hope or condemned to eternal nonentity?

Christine’s journal shifts from love to hope to fear and back again, running the gamut of emotions day by day. The author weaves past and present together beautifully, giving both that ring of show more uncertain truth as lies intervene with malicious or honest intent. The stories balance perfectly, keeping the reader unsettled, never quite guessing, always hoping, and waiting for the end. By the end, the story feels right; feels done; and I’m delighted to have read it.

Combining clever premise with believable characters and honest direction, Before I Go To Sleep is a book to finish before you go to sleep, just in case...

Disclosure: We found it in a list of best books and I couldn’t resist it. show less

What a creepy, page-turning, psychological thriller this was - I couldn't put down! The premise of the book was great, a woman who when she falls asleep forgets everything. Forty-two year old Christine has amnesia - every morning she awakes not knowing where she is or who she she sleeping with. Her only lifelines are her patient husband and the journal she keeps to remind her of events that have occurred in her past. However, there are holes - so many holes which leaves her feeling confused, frustrated and scared.

The book takes the form of Christine's journal so the reader intimately shares her tragic story, her pain, her sadness and her anger, but also her bewilderment about who she can trust. Gradually more of Christine's life is show more revealed until the violent climax. My only criticism would be that the ending felt rushed - I think it could have been developed a bit more, but otherwise a fabulous read and highly recommended!! show less