The Radleys

After weeks spent on The Alexandria Quartet, this went down like a bomb. I read the damn thing in a day, so fast-moving, slick and smooth is the story and the prose.

The Radleys reside in a compact and assured British suburb, abstaining vampires trying to live a moral life and suffering all sorts of miseries as a result of repressing their natures and appetities. Unfortunately they have not so far told the teenage kids why they're always hungry and have to wear sun-block and suffer rashes and headaches and why animals don't like them. Which is why one night at a party an unfortunate incident leads to a bloody outcome and things start to fall apart, not least when Uncle Will, most definitely a non-abstaining vampire, turns up to provide show more his unwelcome double-edged assistance.

So it's all a satire of power, privilege, responsibility and repression, maturity and sacrifice. Fair enough, vampires nowadays are more metaphors than monsters. They've been AIDS, homosexuality, corporate and political corruption and Mormoms. Heck, right now they're a metaphor for my uncontrollable craving for a few squares of chocolate, so why not middle-aged suburban conformity? As a parent, the idea of how we inadvertantly harm our children when we try to help and protect them, and simple mistakes have terrible consequences, hold a particular potency, so it certainly worked for me.

Anyway, it's fun, gleeful, clever and I enjoyed the heck out of it. show less

"I can control myself. Look, for God's sake. Look at everyone. Everyone represses everything. Do you think any of these 'normal' human beings really do exactly what they want to do all the time? 'Course not. It's just the same. We're middle class and we're British. Repression is in our veins."

The Radleys is a book about a family of abstaining vampires, but it's not a vampire book. Mr and Mrs Radley (Peter & Helen) are very much aware they are vampires -- he being born into an old vampire family (because in this world, vampires can procreate and function relatively well in the normal human world), she being "converted" by him on their wedding night. They've been living a quiet village life for 17 years and their children, Rowan (my son's show more name!) and Clara, have no idea why they are "freaks" in the eyes of other kids. Then one night, the dormant lust for blood is awakened and the entire family must deal with the consequences. Add in Peter's older brother, Will, a wild-living, murderous vampire, and even more family secrets, and it's quite a wild week for a repressed family.

Matt Haig treats an unusual storyline with humor and warmth, creating a family that is believable and mostly likable. The excerpts from The Abstainer's Handbook are particularly satirical and fun. Looking through the blurbs for his other books (a modern retelling of Hamlet, and an alien sent to live on earth particularly strike my fancy), Haig is an author I'd like to read more. show less

The Radleys try so hard to be such an ordinary family. Everything they do is calculated not to stand out from what is expected of a nice middle-class family living in a country village in the North of England: people carrier; clothes from Boden and M&S; never any opinions which make them stand out from the crowd. But why do all the Radleys need to cover themselves in Factor 60 sun cream before venturing out even in the depths of a British winter; why do no birds sing in their garden; why does their son Rowan find himself wide awake every night; and above all why are Peter and Helen Radley so concerned when their teenage daughter Clara decides to become a vegan. All becomes clear when a boy from her school tries to assault Clara when she show more is walking home alone after a party, and she is found by her parents covered in blood next to the body of the boy who she has killed. The truth, which the Radleys have concealed from their children all their lives, is that the family are vampires. Not practising vampires, abstainers (their bible is 'The Abstainer's Handbook'): a lifestyle choice which condemns them to a normal human lifespan, constant headaches and skin rashes from even minimal sun exposure. With a body to dispose of, and the effects of the blood on their daughter Clara to worry about, their carefully built up respectability threatens to come crashing down about their ears. Especially when in their initial panic they contact Peter's brother Will for assistance, someone who even in vampire circles is considered irresponsible. show less

Oh no. No no no. I went through a vampire reading phase, from Stoker to Vampire Academy, around the time this novel was published, but somehow - thankfully - missed the author of The Midnight Library dabbling with the trope. And I always wondered what the obsession with vampires could be - who actually wants to live forever? - but then if the alternative is being middle class, I think I have my answer.

I was initially intrigued by the premise of a family of vampire 'abstainers' living in the suburbs of York, and liked the brief flashes of both horror and comedy after the truth comes out. But then the plot shrivelled up and died like a cartoon vamp exposed to daylight, with the focus instead on Helen and Peter's bloodless marriage and the show more teen dramas of the two kids. Evil uncle Will returns to cause chaos and there's a subdivision of the Greater Manchester Police that deals with the undead, but ooh, should Peter have a fling with Lorna next door, perhaps?

I'm not sure if Matt Haig jumped on the Twilight bandwagon first and then thought a middle-aged version with people carriers and Radio 4 would be more British, or if he honestly imagined that vampires going blood-free might be an interesting commentary on married life, but neither worked for me. The vampire lore was fairly tame - garlic and daylight yes, only not quite as dramatic, religious symbols no, and of course they can FLY!

Has anyone tried driving a stake through Matt Haig? show less

The Radleys by Matt Haig is a paranormal fantasy novel about a family of vampires. Peter and Helen have made the decision to be abstaining vampires and have raised their two children with no knowledge of their true nature. There are consequences to denying your true self and Rowan, the son, has insomnia and a rash while daughter, Clara, who has decided to become a vegan, is now getting sick and the whole family live a lethargic, repressed life. Then when Clara is attacked one night and fights back, she discovers the power, energy and strength that drinking blood gives her.

Meanwhile the family has a body to dispose of and secrets to reveal to both their children. Peter, calls upon his older brother, Will, a practising vampire to help show more them out little knowing that inviting him into their lives is the last thing he should be doing. Will and Helen have a past that neither one has totally gotten over. Will sees this as his chance to reconnect with Helen and draw her back into his life.

The author does a fine job of balancing the story between comedy and horror. The use of quotes from “The Abstainers Handbook” is darkly funny and the author keeps the story lively and light. This is first and foremost a story about family and the consequences of repressing yourself just to fit in. The Radleys is a fresh slant on the vampire myth and never makes the mistake of taking itself too seriously. show less

Don’t let the next sentences turn you off this book, for I thought it was brilliantly original and I loved it. It is being given the full crossover novel treatment with a young adult edition, however I firmly believe that it is an adult book (pictured) that teens will enjoy rather than the other way around. It also features vampires…

Matt Haig is an expert at subverting normal family life in his novels. His tragicomedy The Last Family in England, (published as ‘The Labrador pact’ in the US), told the story of a family in freefall from the PoV of the family dog – who sees everything and understands more (and less) than you’d expect, and is in turns very funny and terribly sad.

In The Radleys he takes another very different look show more at family life. Peter, a rather world-weary doctor, and his frustrated artist wife Helen, live in a Yorkshire town with their teenaged children, Clara and Rowan. To all outward purposes they are a totally normal dysfunctional family, but Peter and Helen have a big secret – they’re vampires, and what’s more, their children don’t know! However the Radleys are ‘abstainers’ – non-practising vampires; since their children were born, they’ve been models of restraint, relying on a diet full of red meat, but now they’re up against teenagers with hormones, and Clara is trying to become a Vegan…

‘I’m worried about Clara,’ Helen says, handing Peter his lunchbox. ‘She’s only been vegan a week and she’s clearly getting ill. What if it triggers something?’
He has hardly heard her. He is just staring downwards, contemplating the dark chaos inside his briefcase. ‘There’s so much flaming crap in here.’
‘Peter, I’m worried about Clara.’
Peter puts two pens in the bin. ‘I’m worried about her. I’m very worried about her. But it’s not like I’m allowed to offer a solution, is it?’
Helen shakes her head. ‘Not this, Peter. Not now. This is serious. I just wish we could try and be adult about this. I want to know what you think we should do.’
He sighs. ‘I think we should tell her the truth.’
‘What?’
He takes a deep breath of the stifling kitchen air. ‘I think it is the right time to tell the children.’
However before they get round to it, something happens that will rock this family to the bottom of its foundations and everything changes.

While there is plenty of dark comedy in this novel, there is also blood – gallons of it. At the heart of the story however is the family, with the parents in the grip of mid-life crises and the children coming of age, tricky at the best of times, and not helped by the arrival of Will, Peter’s vampire brother. Also running throughout the book are extracts from the non-practising vampire self-help manual ‘The Abstainer’s Handbook’, which is like a twelve-step programme for bloodsuckers. Blood is the drug, and this makes the vampire hunters the equivalent of the drug squad and junkies’ families.

This book is a brilliant take on all the pressures upon modern suburban families. It’s dark, it’s funny, it’s wildly original; it was also easy to read and I loved it. If you’ve been suffering from vampire fatigue, this could be the antidote, and you’ll always wonder what your neighbours are up to! (9/10) I requested this book from the publisher – thank you to Canongate. show less

Their whole family are insomniacs who have to wear a LOT of sunscreen when they go out. Their father goes into anaphylactic shock when a neighbour includes garlic in a Thai salad but despite certain .... urges .... starting to develop in their teens, Rowan and Clara Radley only find out the truth when Clara is attacked on her way home from a party.

I was expecting this story of ethical vampires trying to pass as human to be funnier than it was but it was still a very enjoyable tale of vampires trying to integrate and predatory vampires.