Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows: A Novel

What an interesting, thought-provoking, and pleasurable book this is! It opens a door into the Indian immigrant experience in London – the importance of family, the tension between ties to culture and assimilating to life in a new country, people who do not wish to assimilate, and the changing role of women in their new country. Make no mistake, there are many erotic stories for Punjabi widows in this book, but that is only part of the appeal. At times quite humorous, the novel also delves into more serious subjects such as family honor and the activities of highly conservative males in the community. It is a testament to friendship among women and that life continues to be pleasurable – especially for women of a certain age.

The label tells you what is in the tin. Nikki is a 20-something British Punjabi woman who has defied her family to live on her own and work at a bar. She takes a position teaching writing to Punjabi widows in Southall, but soon the writing lessons become storytelling and story-writing evenings, where her students (widows who range in age from their 30s to 70s) discover the pleasures of sexual freedom and expression by writing their erotic fantasies.

There are also subplots about Nikki's relationships with her mother and her sister, both of whom are more traditional, as well as a mystery subplot involving the death of Maya, the daughter of the woman who hired Nikki to teach the classes (and who doesn't know that they aren't regular show more writing classes anymore). And there is a romance subplot involving Jason, a Punjabi-American who seems sincerely attracted to Nikki but who is clearly Hiding Something.

The friendships among the women are really well done and the feel of the Punjabi community of Southall and London more generally are richly textured and believable. Where the novel falls down is in the plotting and pacing. The mystery was pretty obvious to me from almost the beginning and the romantic subplot's crisis is telegraphed from a mile away; when the crisis is resolved (the book has mostly happy endings for the various storylines), it's done offpage. The looming threat of the conservative "Brothers" doesn't come to life on the page; it is tangled up with the mystery about Maya's death and then mostly fizzles out at the end.

The erotic stories, several of which are reproduced in detail, are fun to read for a while but then they just get repetitive and drag out the book (much as sex scenes and pornography in books and film sometimes do). The ways the stories empower the women to be more expressive in their marriages, however, are touching, and the story sessions in which women talk about the disconnect between their desires and their realities are poignant. One thing I did find odd, though, was that while I agree widows are not treated well in Indian culture, they can be protected fiercely by their sons (to the detriment of the daughters-in-law of the household). This is hinted at a bit, but if you aren't looking for it you'll miss it. show less

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways....(pardon me Mrs. Browning). I loved this book...parts of it were hilarious, parts were smiley heartwarming, and parts dealt with serious real-life social issues (prejudice, morality police, chauvinism, domestic violence, arranged marriages between prepubescent girls and older men, immigration assimilation and generation cultural conflicts, honor killings, and more). Mostly I loved the hilarious parts, and the heavier topics didn't get in the way of the humor. I loved how Nikki, who answered an ad to teach a writing class but was duped into teaching a literacy class to Punjabi widows, was able to go with the flow and let the widows' imaginations soar - and soar they did. There are beautiful show more little erotic stories laced throughout the book, which could or should have been titled Erotic Stories by instead of "for" Punjabi Widows. The descriptions of how the stories spread like wildfire, among friends, acquaintances, over the internet, and even by chance encounter over the xerox machine, kept me tittering. Most of all I loved the Punjabi widows - who are as endearing as the television character of Monk. I loved the camaraderie between the widow cronies, their spunk and their tenacity. (I did fret a little over how the heck you could launder coconut oil saturated sheets, but I got over it... after all, it was only a fantasy.)

Post Script - I just noticed that this book is always available on Hoopla, if your library subscribes. show less

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows - Jaswal
Audio performance by Meera Syal
4 stars

This was a surprisingly fun book. Surprising, because so many of the characters have heavy burdens of grief and trauma. It’s a contemporary story set in the Sikh community of West London. The young protagonist, Nikki, is a law school dropout who has defied tradition by moving out of her family home. She supports herself with bartending while she tries to find a new direction for her life. A need for additional income causes her to take on a community teaching job; creative writing for Punjabi women.

There is a small amount of East/West culture clash in this book. But, it’s mostly a story of tensions within the community; older vs younger generation, show more affluent/educated vs poor/illiterate, and without doubt, male vs female. This is a feminist story. There are some truly funny moments as the widows create their own version of Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies. Their ‘secret’ project cannot remain secret for long in a busy, gossiping, community. Reactions vary and add to the comic relief.

Some relief is necessary. Many of the women are grieving serious loss. Some are traumatized by ongoing abuse. A group of young, male, moral vigilantes are creating an atmosphere of threat and fear. The murders of at least two young women have been ignored and unsolved. Nikki is in over her head as she reluctantly becomes attached to her native community. There’s a good balance between suspense and humor that kept me turning pages. In the end female solidarity triumphs. Mostly. show less

Digital audiobook performed by Meera Syal


From the book jacket: Nikki, a modern-day daughter of Indian immigrants, has spent most of her twenty-odd years distancing herself from the traditional Sikh community of her childhood, preferring a more independent (that is, Western) life. When her father’s death leaves the family financially strapped, Nikki impulsively takes a job teaching a “creative writing” course at the community center in the beating heart of London’s close-kknit Punjabi community.

My Reactions:
I was expecting something light and breezy and I was pleasantly surprised to find some depth here. Nikki is a wonderful character who shepherds her students through to success. Along the way she discovers that her long-held show more assumptions about the women in the community need to be examined and her opinions updated. She finds women who have suffered, and women who have relished in the joys of their role, women who are brave and those who are shy or hesitant. But all the women she encounters want MORE, and want to take some control of their lives even in the relatively small way of reading – and writing – erotic stories.

I loved the women in Nikki’s classes. Some of their stories were heartbreaking, but all of them were so willing to be open and honest in their writing. That their subject matter would “shock” their peers was not a deterrent to their need to express themselves. Brava, ladies! And through their bravery and openness, Nikki comes to learn something about herself and about the value of forgiveness and second chances.

Just a delightful book.

Meera Syal did a marvelous job narrating the audiobook. She really brought these characters to life. show less

Two factors drew me to this book :

1) that title! I was intrigued. Seldom, if ever, have I seen those words combined in any entertainment or print media

2) genre -- I seek out South - Asian titles because that is my ethnic heritage. I can relate to the culture, traditions, and social morés depicted.

Nikki is a second-generation modern young woman. Although she was born into a Sikh family, she herself is not particularly religious nor traditional. Unlike her sister, Mindi(the dutiful daughter), Nikki refuses to give in to pressure from her family to pursue a stable, respectable career and settle down. And, much to their chagrin, she is living on her own in a flat above the pub where she works as a bartender. Hardly a suitable job for a show more proper Punjabi girl.

While on an involuntary errand for her sister, Mindi, at the Sikh temple in Southall, she sees it : a notice seeking a teacher for a women's writing course. As it turns out, both the course and the women are nothing like she expected. For both teacher and students, the educational journey has far-reaching consequences, both positive and negative.

I absolutely loved this book! It had everything -- drama, romance, erotica, (which, in turn led to laugh-out-loud comedy), and life lessons. All leading to a satisfying and plausible end. show less

This interesting combination of literary fiction, mystery, romance, and erotica is set in the Sikh community in London.

Nikki, a young, first-generation British Sikh, gets a job at a local Sikh temple. She thinks she will be teaching creative writing to women but soon learns that the majority of her students are illiterate widows; they express an interest in oral storytelling, especially stories about desire: “’we have plenty of experience with desire’” and “’We talk about it all the time.’” The women say they want to “’discuss the things we miss’” or “’what we were never given in the first place.’” Nikki acquiesces, though there are concerns that there could be trouble if information about the classes show more comes to the attention of the self-appointed morality brotherhood.

There is a mystery and romance as well. Maya, the daughter of Kulwinder (the woman who hires Nikki), died under strange circumstances and Kulwinder suspects foul play. Since Maya’s name is often mentioned by the women in the class, Nikki becomes interested and starts asking questions. And Nikki, while arguing with her sister about her desire for an arranged marriage, starts a relationship with a man she meets at the temple.

The focus is on women who are invisible in their community. The widows, because they have no husbands are considered “irrelevant” and so dismissed or treated with disdain. Even Nikki at first seems to think of them only as gossipy grannies. Their culture tells them that women are expected to be sexually available to their husbands but they are not supposed to enjoy sex. One of the women tells Nikki, “’You must think it’s wrong of us to discuss these things because we shouldn’t be thinking of them.’” When one woman reads one of the erotic stories, she feels ashamed: “Why was she ashamed? Because she was supposed to be; because women, especially at her age, did not ask for these sorts of pleasures.” Though the book is about women in the Sikh culture, it is an almost universal truth that elderly women are invisible and are certainly not considered sexual beings.

I enjoyed that Nikki proves to be a dynamic character. Initially, the focus is on the differences between Nikki and her students. She is only 22 years of age and the widows, though not all are elderly, are older than she. Nikki is educated, unlike her students, most of whom are illiterate. Nikki is modern and lives independently whereas the widows are traditional and have lived fairly sheltered lives. She comes to understand, however, that they, like she, have dreams of physical and emotional fulfillment. Gradually, she comes to respect the women.

The book shows the empowering effect of storytelling. The widows join the writing group to fill in time, but as they begin expressing themselves, they learn they are not alone and so gain confidence. One of the women says, “’These storytelling sessions are good fun but I think I’ve also learned to speak up for what I want.’” Nikki realizes, “’Those meetings gave those women a strong sense of acceptance and support. For the first time in their lives they could openly share their most private thoughts and know that they weren’t alone.’”

There are many touches of humour. The women hilariously argue the appropriateness of various vegetables to describe men’s penises. One woman discusses the value of ghee, clarified butter, as a lubricant: she learned “’to sneak some ghee into a small container during cooking without my mother-in-law noticing. Otherwise it was challenging to get big drums of ghee into the bedroom without the rest of the family seeing.’”

Despite the humour, the book does touch on serious issues: the clash between modern and traditional cultural values, domestic abuse, honour killings, and attitudes towards older women. There is a rather feel-good ending that will appeal to many readers. Of course, readers should be warned that there are passages of erotica which might make some people uncomfortable. I enjoyed the book; it provides a perspective on an unfamiliar culture while exploring ubiquitous attitudes towards women, especially older women.

Note: Please check out my reader's blog (https://schatjesshelves.blogspot.com/) and follow me on Twitter (@DCYakabuski). show less