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Have the Men Had Enough? by Margaret Forster

Have the Men Had Enough? (1989)

by Margaret Forster

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Based on her own experience, Margaret Forester writes with compassion and understanding about the challenges inherent in dealing with a family member's senile dementia. In this book, Grandma McKay has three children: Bridget, who is devoted to her mother and having difficulty dealing with the emotions engendered by her decline; Stuart, who refuses to be involved; and the pragmatic Charlie and his wife Jenny, whose kind heart and caring are at the core of this book. Their two children, Hannah and Adrian, are also fully impacted by Grandma's gradual descent into dementia. Hannah cares deeply about her grandmother, but is conflicted by the struggles within her family to preserve their lives while doing what is best for grandma. This novel unflinchingly confronts the harsh reality of a devastating disease and its effects on a family, both individually and as a whole. ( )
  pdebolt | Feb 12, 2017 |
This is a wonderful novel about an extended family taking care of their elderly grandmother who is suffering from senile dementia. It is told in alternating chapters by her teenage granddaughter Hannah and Hannah's mother Jenny. The novel encompasses all the love, frustration, compassion, guilt, horror and boredom that goes along with caring for the elderly. It is remarkably honest as well as funny. Highly recommended. ( )
  laurenbufferd | Jan 31, 2017 |
I almost put this down again after the first page, did not want to read about senile dementia and the aggro created by looking after a difficult mother/relative. But this book is a surprise. It shows not only the guilt and desperate exhaustion but also the rewards -if the care is deserved and comes from the heart. At one point the never much loved daughter-in-law debates with herself why she takes on so much of the looking after and why she is the one who repeatedly objects to her mother-in-law being sent to a home. She comes to the conclusion that the woman deserves it because she worked hard and was a good and kind and generous person.
  allsun | Jan 28, 2007 |
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Have the men had enough?
'Mum says that she feels lucky and glad and relieved now Grandma is dead. But she says she feels a coward too because now Grandma is dead she can ignore the problem of all the other Grandmas and she knows she shouldn't, she should be inspired to do something and she knows she isn't going to. She's going to dodge the Issue now. It's sefish but that's what she's going to do. She doesn't want to think about senile dementia or hear about it or read about it ever again. She isn't an activist and she can't help it. But somebody, somewhere, will have to do something soon. They' ll have to. We've tinkered around enough wIth the start of life, we've interfered with all kinds of natural sequences, and now we'll have to tinker with the end. Mum says, "Your generatIon, Hannah, will have to have pro-death marches, you'll have to stop being scared to kill the old". Will we?'
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0140127690, Paperback)

What do men run away from? Not war, not physical hardship, but the day-to-day emotional demands of impossible domestic situations. That's women's work. This is a story of female courage, where black comedy turns to disturbing pathos revolving around the rights of an indomitable woman.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:10:45 -0400)

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