Have the Men Had Enough?

I almost put this down again after the first page, did not want to read about senile dementia and the aggro created by looking after a difficult mother/relative. But this book is a surprise. It shows not only the guilt and desperate exhaustion but also the rewards -if the care is deserved and comes from the heart. At one point the never much loved daughter-in-law debates with herself why she takes on so much of the looking after and why she is the one who repeatedly objects to her mother-in-law being sent to a home. She comes to the conclusion that the woman deserves it because she worked hard and was a good and kind and generous person.

Based on her own experience, Margaret Forester writes with compassion and understanding about the challenges inherent in dealing with a family member's senile dementia. In this book, Grandma McKay has three children: Bridget, who is devoted to her mother and having difficulty dealing with the emotions engendered by her decline; Stuart, who refuses to be involved; and the pragmatic Charlie and his wife Jenny, whose kind heart and caring are at the core of this book. Their two children, Hannah and Adrian, are also fully impacted by Grandma's gradual descent into dementia. Hannah cares deeply about her grandmother, but is conflicted by the struggles within her family to preserve their lives while doing what is best for grandma. This novel show more unflinchingly confronts the harsh reality of a devastating disease and its effects on a family, both individually and as a whole. show less

This is a wonderful novel about an extended family taking care of their elderly grandmother who is suffering from senile dementia. It is told in alternating chapters by her teenage granddaughter Hannah and Hannah's mother Jenny. The novel encompasses all the love, frustration, compassion, guilt, horror and boredom that goes along with caring for the elderly. It is remarkably honest as well as funny. Highly recommended.

For an account of the impossibility of dealing with aging family members, go here. Brilliantly done.

Margaret Forster analyse avec une finesse impressionnante les contradictions des relations familiales et affectives.