Agnes and the Hitman

The first time I read AGNES AND THE HITMAN I was a bit nonplussed. I wasn't yet ready for Crusie and Mayer's savvy bending of romance rules. The first time Shane killed someone, I was so sure he couldn't *possibly* be our hero. But both he and Agnes come to terms with their more murderous sides over the course of the book, and I find this is one of the Crusie romances that calls me back again and again. Zany, violent, witty, and wonderful, the old I get the more I appreciate Cranky Agnes and her hitman.

This is the second book by Crusie and Mayer, and it’s better than their first. In fact, this is one of my favorite books; it’s witty and wise and imbued with absurdities. Like in their previous collaboration, Crusie wrote the female POV, and Mayer wrote the male POV. When their lines intertwine in the plot, sparks fly and mirth explodes, satisfying the reader’s craving for laughter.
The female protagonist Agnes is a sassy, lonesome newspaper columnist with the anger problem. Every time her anger gets the better of her, she whacks the object of her ire by a frying pan. “Why a frying pan?” asked her psychiatrist once, and she answered: “Because that’s what I usually have in my hand.” For Agnes is a food writer and she show more loves to cook.
This time, when a stranger breaks into her house to steal her dog, she again has a non-stick frying pan in her hand. The ensuing scene, the opening episode of the novel, is one of the most amusing, laugh-out-loud scenes I’ve ever read.
Unlike peaceful but cranky Agnes, the male protagonist Shane is a US government-sanctioned assassin, the hitman from the title. At his uncle’s request, Shane arrives at Agnes’s house to take care of the family business: protecting Agnes. But when he asks his uncle – a former mobster – what he had to protect Agnes from, the uncle becomes slippery. The resulting brew of 25-year-old mob secrets, shady government politics, a wedding in jeopardy, a cookbook in the making, and a couple of desolate flamingos keep the reader glued to the book until the last page.
With so many disparate ingredients, livened up by two superior writers, the novel can’t help but to be a flavorful stew. The romantic overtones and the sexual delights swirling between Shane and Agnes add the air of sophistication not many romantic novels possess.
While Shane deals with murders and mobsters that spring like mushrooms across the swampy landscape of the tale, Agnes cooks and feeds her guests. The more people she has to cook for the happier she is. She also has to throw a wedding, protect her house from a sabotaging widow, break up with her two-faced fiancé, dodge the lineup of thugs who are trying to kill her, and write her next column by the fast-approaching deadline.
And then there is Shane, who (oh, horror!) kills people for a living. But no matter how often she makes a resolution not to sleep with him … again … she can’t resist her heart. After all, he kills to protect her. And he buys her an air conditioner. And he installs black shutters on her dream house. And he enjoys her food. And he keeps her loneliness at bay. A perfect man by any standards.
As for Shane, an outwardly emotionless fighting machine, Agnes brings color and flavor, warmth and softness into the cold milieu of his personal and professional life. Her “pattable” body and her sweet and spicy passions force him to reevaluate a score of his past decisions and come to some rather unexpected new ones.
A book for everyone.
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I am throwing caution to the wind and giving this jewel FIVE LOOKS! I loved, loved, loved this one. It is not going to save the world, change my philosophical views or feed any starving Ethiopian children. However, it made me totally forget the world for the few hours that it took me to utterly devour it.

Agnes is a treat! She is feisty, funny, fearless and I wish I could sit and have a bourbon with her. Lisa Livia is the perfect best friend and Brenda is the perfect foe. On the male side, Joey, Shane, Carpenter and Garth round out a perfect family of fun.

I adored everything about this book. The story is mob-related, so you can expect a fairly free use of the f-bomb among all of the characters, a fair amount of justified violence, and show more sex decribed just to the breaking point. It was fun from beginning to end and makes me want to add every book ever written by this duo to my TBR!

Highly recommended! show less

Agnes Crandall is a cook who is about to start a catering service in her childhood dream house with her fiancé. But suddenly everything goes wrong: people show up and try to shoot her and kidnap her dog, and the mob seems to be involved. More than once, the day - and Agnes' live - is saved by Shane (no last name) who is a hitman for a mysterious organization...
Comprising everything that happens in this book in a few sentences would be impossible. There's just too much happening. Even if this is a cliché, this book is wild, wacky and wonderful. I really like Agnes. She has a lot of self-respect and self-esteem, which is something that other romance novel heroines are seriously lacking. She also takes charge of her life rather than show more waiting for things just to happen. I also like Shane, despite his horrible job. And words can't describe how funny this book is. It made me chuckle and giggle and sometimes laugh out loud. Go and read this, you won't regret it. show less

Ok first off be prepared for one hell of a wild ride when you read this. This is the best warning I can give you for this book.
It starts off somewhat slow and picks up around four or five chapters in. Then oh boy the action and cast of characters storm you, and yes at times bowl you over.
Agnes was sometimes too crazy for me to connect with. She doesn't exactly react to situations like a "normal" person would. Frying pans anyone? However, this could be why she was so fun to read about.
Shane was simply hot. Really. I sincerely feel throwing a lot of words out for a description would be a waste of time. He's hot, that's all there is to that. Read the book, read about him.
A key component of the book for me was how Shane kept doing little show more things for Agnes. Soooo completely thoughtful and sweet. When he took her To Do List and gets her a bridge (to hard to explain what that is all about) I melted. Mind you he is doing all this while he is dodging bullets, killing people in Agnes kitchen, and trying to complete his mission of killing Casey Dean. Yeah you could say the man has a full plate.
Agnes and Shane's first sex scene was hot, hot, hot. The angry sex was wow factor. Once again not for the faint of heart.
Towards the end the murder mystery and cast of characters gets a little convoluted. It was a little too much, could have trimmed some characters and story. Something should have went, either Casey Dean or the mob connections.
This isn't a traditional romance per say but for people who like action with a man/woman relationship thrown in will quite enjoy it. And there is of course Crusie's quirky humor thrown in, making it that much more enjoyable.
I seriously read this book in one sitting, once it gets going it is IMPOSSIBLE to put down. I was utterly absorbed into Shane and Agnes lives.
Super fun, super chaotic read, and definitely a keeper for me. show less

The dialogue is trite. The sex is bland. The characters are cardboard cutouts. The plot is inane and unbelievable. It seems that the author(s) can’t figure out what kind of book this is. Is it a comic crime caper? A mystery? A romance? A mafia thriller? A cooking cozy? Bodies pile up left and right, plot lines disintegrate or appear from thin air. Even the editing is bad … the electricity goes out, thanks to a bad guy who “did something” to the power, but early the next morning Agnes is in the kitchen using her coffee grinder and CD player. The authors would have us believe that her cooking is so great that people set their guns down to feast on pancakes and ham (and where does all this food come from when she never goes to the show more store … and remember that the electricity was out … we’re talking South Carolina summer HEAT). Oh, and what’s with the psychiatrist (who just disappears in the middle of the book). Crusie (or Mayer) does manage to write a few humorous scenes that tickle me, but if it weren’t for a Shelfari book group Challenge I would not have finished it at all. show less

Agnes is the Bomb! She gets treated badly - and she doesn't take it! Have frying pan, will get even . . . I literally laughed until I made my tummy hurt. Agnes doesn't deserve what happens to her - the men she chooses are total losers who wind up banging other women - and getting caught by Agnes - and they are dumb enough to do it in her kitchen, on her clean kitchen table. What else WAS she to do than punish the jerks with a whack to the noggin with her favorite frying pan?

Add in mobsters, hit men, crazy men (and women), inbred woods colts, dead bodies, buried bomb shelters, lost monies, and a mother who could give my insane mother a run for her money, and this is a book that had me rolling on the floor roaring with laughter.

Very Very show more recommended if you like a laugh and a women character who won't take anyone's bad behaviour! show less