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The Art of Loving (1956)

by Erich Fromm

Other authors: See the other authors section.

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
4,154482,822 (3.84)13
Philosophy. Nonfiction. HTML:The landmark bestseller that changed the way we think about love: "Every line is packed with common sense, compassion, and realism" (Fortune).
The Art of Loving is a rich and detailed guide to love??an achievement reached through maturity, practice, concentration, and courage. In the decades since the book's release, its words and lessons continue to resonate. Erich Fromm, a celebrated psychoanalyst and social psychologist, clearly and sincerely encourages the development of our capacity for and understanding of love in all of its facets. He discusses the familiar yet misunderstood romantic love, the all-encompassing brotherly love, spiritual love, and many more.
A challenge to traditional Western notions of love, The Art of Loving is a modern classic about taking care of ourselves through relationships with others by the New York Times??bestselling author of To Have or To Be? and Escape from Freedom.
This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erich Fromm including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author's estate
… (more)
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» See also 13 mentions

English (24)  Spanish (9)  Catalan (8)  Italian (1)  Portuguese (Brazil) (1)  French (1)  German (1)  All languages (45)
Showing 1-5 of 24 (next | show all)
Dosta netačnih teza i mišljenja, međutim kritike su na mestu (ili su mi se lično dopale).
Brzo se pročita, pa mi nije žao vremena.
Možda se neka od ideja pokaže korisna u budućnosti.
  0u715 | Jan 27, 2023 |
Dated in places but still an important book on the nature of love. ( )
  Acia | Jul 24, 2022 |
The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

I personally enjoyed this little book, it covers various concepts of love, (brotherly, eros, familial etc,) the drive for love, the unconditional love given by a mother, the masculine connection also the self love, Love that is developed, facilitated, sexual gratification, drug use seeking pleasure, tracing back to God, how love ought to be developed, the social aspect and developmental aspect. ( )
  DrT | Jan 31, 2022 |
A është vërtet dashuria art? Në qoftë se po, atëherë ajo kërkon punë dhe dijeni. Nëse ajo nuk është gjë tjetër veçse një ndjesi e këndshme, përjetimi i së cilës është diçka e rastësishme, një gjendje që e provoni po t'ju ecë fati, atëherë puna ndryshon. Ky libërth bazohet mbi këtë hipotezë, ndërsa shumica e njerëzve sot besojnë pa dyshim ndryshe.
  BibliotekaFeniks | Dec 6, 2021 |
Lido - bom ( )
  Correaf | Jul 8, 2021 |
Showing 1-5 of 24 (next | show all)
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» Add other authors (39 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Erich Frommprimary authorall editionscalculated
Anshen Ruth NandaAfterwordsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Bogdański, AleksanderTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Czerwiński, MarcinIntroductionsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Estany, ImmaTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Funk, RainerAfterwordsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Jansone, BaibaTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Kramer, Peter D.Introductionsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Mickel, ErnstTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Mickel, LiselotteTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Mordegaai, JakobTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Rosenblatt, NoemíTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Treurniet, ArieTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Vinaø, JanTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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Epigraph
He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do nothing understands nothing. He who understands nothing is worthless. But he who understands also loves, notices, sees.... The more knowledge is inherent in a thing, the greater the love.... Anyone who imagines that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows nothing about grapes. -- Paracelsus
Dedication
First words
Is love an art?
Quotations
While irrational faith is rooted in submission to a power which is felt to be overwhelmingly strong, omniscient and omnipotent, and in the abdication of one's own power and strength, rational faith is based upon the opposite experience. We have this faith in a thought because it is the result of our own observation and thinking. We have faith in the potentialities of others, of ourselves, and of mankind because, and only to the degree to which, we have experienced the growth of our own potentialities, the reality of growth in ourselves, the strength of our own power of reason and of love. The basis of rational faith is productiveness; to live by our faith means to live productively. It follows that the belief in power (in the sense of domination) and the use of power are the reverse of faith. To believe in power that exists is identical with disbelief in the growth of potentialities which are as yet unrealized. It is a prediction of the future based solely on the manifest present; but it turns out to be a grave miscalculation, profoundly irrational in its oversight of the human potentialities and human growth. There is no rational faith in power. There is submission to it or, on the part of those who have it, the wish to keep it. While to many power seems to be the most real of all things, the history of man has proved it to be the most unstable of all human achievements. Because of the fact that faith and power are mutually exclusive, all religions and political systems which originally are built on rational faith become corrupt and eventually lose what strength they have, if they rely on power or ally themselves with it.

To have faith requires courage, the ability to take a risk, the readiness even to accept pain and disappointment. Whoever insists on safety and security as primary conditions of life cannot have faith; whoever shuts himself off in a system of defense, where distance and possession are his means of security, makes himself a prisoner. To be loved, and to love, need courage, the courage to judge certain values as of ultimate concern—and to take the jump and stake everything on these values.
Religion allies itself with auto-suggestion and psychotherapy to help man in his business activities. In the twenties one had not yet called upon God for purposes of “improving one's personality.” The best-seller in the year 1938, Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, remained on a strictly secular level. What was the function of Carnegie's book at that time is the function of our greatest bestseller today, The Power of Positive Thinking by the Reverend N. V. Peale. In this religious book it is not even questioned whether our dominant concern with success is in itself in accordance with the spirit of monotheistic religion. On the contrary, this supreme aim is never doubted, but belief in God and prayer is recommended as a means to increase one's ability to be successful. Just as modern psychiatrists recommend happiness of the employee, in order to be more appealing to the customers, some ministers recommend love of God in order to be more successful. “Make God your partner”, means to make God a partner in business, rather than to become one with Him in love, justice and truth. Just as brotherly love has been replaced by impersonal fairness, God has been transformed into a remote General Director of Universe, Inc.; you know that he is there, he runs the show (although it would probably run without him too), you never see him, but you acknowledge his leadership while you are “doing your part.”
Another form of projection is the projection of one’s own problems on the children. First of all such projection takes place not infrequently in the wish for children. In such cases the wish for children is primarily determined by projecting one’s own problem of existence on that of the children. When a person feels that he has not been able to make sense of his own life, he tries to make sense of it in terms of the life of his children. But one is bound to fail within oneself and for the children. The former because the problem of existence can be solved by each one only for himself, and not by proxy; the latter because one lacks in the very qualities which one needs to guide the children in their own search for an answer. Children serve for projective purposes also when the question arises of dissolving an unhappy marriage. The stock argument of parents in such a situation is that they cannot separate in order not to deprive the children of the blessings of a unified home. Any detailed study would show, however, that the atmosphere of tension and unhappiness within the “unified family” is more harmful to the children than an open break would be—which teaches them at least that man is able to end an intolerable situation by a courageous decision.
The situation as far as love is concerned corresponds, as it has to by necessity, to this social character of modern man. Automatons cannot love; they can exchange their “personality packages” and hope for a fair bargain. One of the most significant expressions of love, and especially of marriage with this alienated structure, is the idea of the “team.” In any number of articles on happy marriage, the ideal described is that of the smoothly functioning team. This description is not too different from the idea of a smoothly functioning employee; he should be “reasonably independent” co-operative, tolerant, and at the same time ambitious and aggressive. Thus, the marriage counselor tells us, the husband should “understand” his wife and be helpful. He should comment favorably on her new dress, and on a tasty dish. She, in turn, should understand when he comes home tired and disgruntled, she should listen attentively when he talks about his business troubles, should not be angry but understanding when he forgets her birthday. All this kind of relationship amounts to is the well-oiled relationship between two persons who remain strangers all their lives, who never arrive at a “central relationship” but who treat each other with courtesy and who attempt to make each other feel better.
Love isn’t something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t a feeling, it is a practice.
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Wikipedia in English (2)

Philosophy. Nonfiction. HTML:The landmark bestseller that changed the way we think about love: "Every line is packed with common sense, compassion, and realism" (Fortune).
The Art of Loving is a rich and detailed guide to love??an achievement reached through maturity, practice, concentration, and courage. In the decades since the book's release, its words and lessons continue to resonate. Erich Fromm, a celebrated psychoanalyst and social psychologist, clearly and sincerely encourages the development of our capacity for and understanding of love in all of its facets. He discusses the familiar yet misunderstood romantic love, the all-encompassing brotherly love, spiritual love, and many more.
A challenge to traditional Western notions of love, The Art of Loving is a modern classic about taking care of ourselves through relationships with others by the New York Times??bestselling author of To Have or To Be? and Escape from Freedom.
This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erich Fromm including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author's estate

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Amare non significa possedere in maniera esclusiva, limitare la libertà del partner o escludersi dalla vita del mondo; al contrario l'amore può aprirsi all'intero universo, spalancando inattese prospettive. Un trattato sull'amore che insegna a sviluppare la propria personalità e raggiungere la pienezza affettiva.
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