Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex

This is my third look throught the skewed, yet fascinating and funny lens of Mary Roach. First, it was cadavers, then it was ghosts. This time, it was sex and the organs used for it.

This one was just as amusing as the previous two, but it had a lot more cringe-worthy moments. Seriously, when I'm walking the dog, listening to this audiobook, and it gets to a point where a doctor is removing the skin of a penis like a glove, and I get an involuntary reaction that involves one of my legs swinging forward and inward to protect my own crotch while the upper half of my body folds over the lower half, it must make for interesting people watching for anyone happening to glance in my direction. God knows my dog looked at me funny.

Roach is the show more best sort of investigative journalist, as far as I'm concerned. She delves into areas you never expected, or were blissfully unaware of (though, with this book in particular, there's times I wish I could go back to blissful ignorance), she has a wry sense of humour as she reports her findings, she's not scared to put herself into experiments to be better able to report, and finally, she also knows when to leave us wanting more.

All to say, while this was likely her toughest book to read so far, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. show less

I never would have imagined reading science writing and enjoying it so much but Mary Roach makes it so easy to sit down and read studies almost like they are novels. This book, about human sexuality, has so much opportunity for Roach's sense of humor to appear and it does. I would find myself in a loud guffaw as I was driving down the road listening to this book. Some of the innuendo was silly but most of it was used appropriately to relieve the reader from the stodgy information of early study data and medical testing devices. The author also found herself in a couple of sex studies which made for some first hand empirical evidence. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants an overview of the science of sex in easy to understand show more terminology and with plenty of wit and humor thrown in. show less

I am so so very far behind on my GoodReads reviews, so the next three may be a bit shorter than usual.

I was reading this book at the same time that I was reading Lavardia, picking up once I'd finished a section of my own book so that I wouldn't muddle the separate parts together. I was never quite sure how to hold it on the subway: If I rested the bottom of the spine on my briefcase, everyone could see the title--not too bad, except that it left the actual pages wide open for the people next to me to see. I'm not usually aware of people reading over my shoulders (something that I'll admit I'm occasionally guilty of doing) but I caught a lot of people at it.

I'm sure at a quick glace the book must seem shocking, but really it's not. For show more those of you who ignore subtitles, this really is about the science of sex, not tips or really even culture--the false concept of virginity, for example, isn't discussed.

But don't let the science scare you off! This book was hilarious--I don't think I've laughed so much while reading since the firt time I read [b:Good Omens|12067|Good Omens The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch|Terry Pratchett|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1392528568s/12067.jpg|4110990]! Mary Roach is a delight tso read, bringing you along for the ride the whole way. Well, all right, she leaves enough distance that I don't feel creepy reading about the time she convinced her husband to join her for closely-monitored sex in a lab, but that's kind of the point: you feel close to her the whole way. Where Erik Larson is the master of the timeline, Mary Roach is the master of the anecdote.

That blessing is sort of simultaneously my only complaint about the book, which is the same one that I had for [b:Stiff|32145|Stiff The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers|Mary Roach|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1347656489s/32145.jpg|1188203]: there isn't really an ultimate end goal, nothing to drive the narrative forward. I never felt frustrated about having to put the book down when my subway stop came up, but I also loved every page. That's actually pretty impressive, when I think about it!

I would actually recommend this book for young teenagers as well as adults. I feel like I was so uninformed about sex and sexuality--not maliciously, just because it was a big taboo or it just didn't come up (because I wasn't thinking about it that much--demisexual and all that). If formal sex ed isn't going to continue through high school, or even into college, kids should get to read books like this so that they know what's going on down there, so they can be fully informed when they decide (or not) to start exploring. Roach's approach is friendly and funny and informative, even if it's more science than culture and feeling--but that's kind of refreshing in a world so saturated with sex as an abstract concept.


Quote Roundup

**In case you missed the fact that this book is about sex, well, now you're informed. If you're not interested in reading about sex, stop now.**

24) It might be tempting to dismiss Dickinson as an iconoclastic pervert, but nothing could be further from the truth. He simply believed that lame sex destroyed more marriages than did anything else, and that "considering the inveterate marriage habit of the race," something ought to be done. It was Dickinson who ushered the clitoris into the spotlight.
Three cheers for...wait...is that seriously his name? (This book will keep your mind in the gutter for the duration, but it's kind of a fun gutter to be in.)

29) Two things. First: I love that Goldschmidt's wife is Subject 69 (see above). Second: Derogatis estimates 11,250 sex-related deaths in the United States each year, putting it on par with hepatitis C, brain cancer, and food poisoning. So you thrill seekers can get a few extra kicks knowing frisky is risky.

37) By "homosexuals," he means men. "We were unable to obtain any lesbians," Pomeroy says, as though perhaps they hadn't been in season, or his paperwork wasn't in order.
I love Mary Roach!

78-79) The fifties were not the twenties. ... American manhood would not abide the sexually sophisticated (i.e., demanding) woman, and it fought back hard. Among the more vocal vaginal [orgasm] crusaders was Arnold Kegel, inventor of the eponymous pelvic squeezing exercises. ... The backlash against Kinsey and the general tide of conservatism turned the passive, vaginal orgasm into the holy grail of female sexuality, "the hallmark...of a well-adjusted and normal femininity."
This whole section infuriated me. I guess I'd just assumed that the vaginal orgasm had been the ideal of patriarchal societies for thousands of years. The fact that there had actually been knowledge and encouragement of female sexual pleasure before that is just extra disgusting, especially considering that it's yet another group of men deciding how sex between a man and a woman should work when they only know half the story.

113) My organization balked. It called its husband. "You know how you were saying you haven't been to Europe in twenty-five years?"
I loved this chapter because of how much Mary Roach was in it herself, and I think her writing is especially good when she's writing about her own experiences. This section in the third person struck me as particularly hilarious, for some reason.

115) ...the medieval believe that breast milk was formed from (gack!) diverted menstrual blood.
I'm totally with Roach on that one--gross! Who even came up with that idea?

142) I love the postage stamp test and any boyfriend I may have in the future should probably be aware that I may ask him to try it out just for fun.

149) To produce an ejaculate with optimum potential for fertilization, Levin recommends a holding time of five days.
So now you know.

187) In the 1970s, there was a spate of vehusngeful wives cutting off their adulterous husbands' penises. In rural areas, men hoping to reattach their members had to rescue them from hungry pigs...and ducks. The paper does not provide the exact number of penises eaten by ducks but the author says that there have been enough over the years to prompt the coining of the coining of a popular saying: "I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat."

197) I can recall, many years ago, being told that a clitoris is a vestigial penis. The feminist in me, who is small and sleeps a lot but can be scrappy when provoked took umbrage at this description.
And this feminist took umbrage at how easily the author accepted this without walking us through at least a couple other theories. This New York Times article covers a few.

209) She reminded me of what happened to the last person who got involved with masturbation as a beneficial activity: Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. Former President Bill Clinton dismissed Elders after she suggested, in a World AIDS Day speech, that masturbation was something that "should perhaps be taught."
I'm with Elders--it's doesn't seem difficult for those with penises to figure out what to do with them, but clitorises and vaginas can be a bit intimidating when you can't even see them with out some effort and a mirror.

252) If it's any solace, even female rats have trouble focusing. I give you a sentence, my favorite sentence in the entire oeuvre of Alfred Kinsey, from Sexual Behavior in the Human Female: "Cheese crumbs spread in front of a copulating pair of rats may distract the female, but not the male."
Here's a theory: Since the woman-on-top position is better at producing orgasms in women, I posit that this was how our ancient ancestors got down. The female could be aware of approaching predators and react in time to escape with, hopefully, the makings of the next generation. The male became the meal to allow the female time to escape. Yep, that's totally how it happened.

290) Michael's sex-pheromone work got tremendous media coverage nonetheless, which is unfortunate, as it sent our understanding of female hormones and female sexual behavior way off down the wrong boulevard. It implied that when it came to sex, the female primate was a passive receptacle with no drive or interest of her own.
Alack! show less

Sex, sex, sexity, sex, sex, sex! Bonk is hilarious and informative as it explores all types of sex research from a scientific perspective. The studies referenced include a variety of humans, animals, and mechanical devices. The reader gets an inside look at many diverse topics, from the artificial insemination of pigs, to masturbatory techniques, to sex following a spinal cord injury. Roach's style, as seen in her other books, is blunt and honest, sparing no one, including herself and her husband, who participated in an intrusive coital study for the sake of the book. She approaches each topic with curiosity, and she isn't afraid to ask the embarrassing questions. The typical names are included, such as Kinsey and Masters & Johnson, but show more there are many more obscure researchers and studies discussed as well. Especially funny are the suggestive graphics used at the beginning of each chapter, for example, fireworks prior to "The Big O" chapter, three nuts prior to the testicular transplant chapter, and a vacuuming man prior to the "suction device" chapter. This book is so entertaining, and it made me laugh out loud many times. I highly recommend it to those who enjoy science writing or just want to learn more about SEX. show less

Many eons ago I had a friend at work who was always boasting how many times he did it per week: 'We've experimented with positions, more than 100 altogether' and some-such. There was a sense it had become a bit of a braggadiccio thing. Well, firstly the idea of counting all these positions is risible but of course there aren't over a 100 different sexual positions, merely 4, maybe 5 that give scope for various variations. At the time I'd have been interested to hear the wife's views on it all. A friend of my former friend was once part of some kind of pseudo Buddhist sexual cult and whilst it was free sex with everyone she had a particular boyfriend there who practiced tantra sex, long lasting, multiple orgasms etc ....my friend asked show more how this was, thinking it must have been pretty amazing and her friend said: “No, actually it's really tedious having it go on for so long, lying there for ages whilst the bloke continues to gyrate.” I do wonder if 2 hours conjoined in a swimming pool is as much fun as it may first seem...think about it. Anyway as always with these books you can't help but wonder about sex is all about.

Sexual intimacy can be a full on experience of ecstasy with someone. When your partner is also someone with whom you have a truly deep simpatico and many years of experience it is an almost singular body-emotion-mind space. It is about as close as we get to occupying a unified state: two-as-one-as-none. There are non-sexual intimacies that can have a similar quality. It comes down to being naked enough to be with someone to experience each other in the moment in an unconditional way. It could be meditating together, or watching the sea crash against rocks, or gazing out at the Milky Way at night in the wilderness, or just walking together through a farmer's market and encountering fragrances, sounds and sights that set off the mirror neurons in a dervish dance of intimate awareness. There are many doorways into beautiful and unifying experiences, provided each is open and trusting of the other in a way that allows being together without contracting and sequestering a part of oneself. We often use the word 'love' to encapsulate this, but the real trick is being so present with another that words to describe it are not rising into the conscious mind. As soon as you find words rising to frame or describe it, you have already separated by a few degrees. Total intimacy has an ineffability to it where words are vanquished as silence holds moments that stretch like taffy and feel eternal.

(I know; you're thinking: "I feel my food chaffing just reading this.") show less

I think the subtitle says it all. And the fact that Mary Roach's previous books were Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife. She does write about the funniest things, and in the funniest manner.

I read it mostly on the bus, which means I was quite hunched over, hoping no one was attempting to read over my shoulder. Usually when you read a sex scene on the bus and are worried that people might be watching over your shoulder, it's no biggie, you'll be turning the page in just a short while. Harder to do when the book is *all* about sex.

It did suffer a bit from the same issue as Spook in that the science wasn't as clear cut as it was in Stiff. I guess it's all still a bit too unknown! Which is show more rather amazing, considering how important sex is, both biologically and psychologically/sociologically. But the funny bits were very, very funny, and I do love how she gets in there and asks the embarrassing questions. (And is a guinea pig herself...) The historical information was most interesting to me, because that's when the really strange stuff is mentioned, like Da Vinci's incredibly incorrect anatomical drawings of people having sex, or doctors masturbating female patients as a cure for hysteria (and this is why vibrators were invented, to make it easier for the doctors).

Overall there were some very funny moments and tales, but I think the discomfort value made it less entertaining for me than Stiff. But it was fascinating how much more there still is to learn about the physiological (and psychological, etc) aspects of sex. show less

In December of 2009, I read Stiff by Mary Roach. It was putridly grotesque, a nonfiction about the scientific studies upon dead bodies. Yet, despite the subject, Mary Roach managed to make it hilarious. I didn't think "humor" and "cadavers" could go together, but she managed it. Not only that, but it was incredibly enlightening and I walked away from it feeling like I had learned a lot, more than most books I've read in recent memory. I immediately put Bonk on my wish list. My biggest regret is that it took me 5 months to finally get around to reading it.

Bonk is a scientific look at sex. Plain and simple. From female arousal to erectile dysfunction - from women who can have orgasms by thought and men who need balloons surgically show more inserted in their penises to get erections - Mary Roach wants everyone to know the how's and why's people enjoy (or don't enjoy) having sex. The book is undoubtedly not for the prudish, but it is very professional and the author's witty humor definitely helps to lighten the mood. I will say that in some ways this book can be just as grotesque as Stiff. Not that I am fazed by detailed descriptions of human genitalia, but the chapter about the inflatable penile implant (with the air pump inserted in the scrotum) was a bit much and left me cringing and crossing my legs while I read through it - a much worse reaction than anything I read in the book about corpses. Some one has kindly added the quotation here on LT. Men: read at your own risk.

Not only does the book cover the scientific research being done (and having been done in the past) but also the social taboo of the research itself. How do you get people to have sex in an MRI? How do you get women to insert cameras into their vaginas? How do you publish your research on how far men ejaculate without being criticized? And how do you convince people your discoveries will help understand the human body, and will lead to new ways to fix old problems? This is something that the scientific community has been struggling with for hundreds of years. I take comfort in the fact that a book of this nature can be so highly regarded by a public audience, and hope it only bodes well for such research in the future.

I can't recommend Bonk highly enough. Mary Roach is witty, funny, and is terrific at both entertaining and educating; I can't get enough of her and will be eagerly awaiting anything she publishes in the future. 5 stars! show less