A Severe Mercy

I finished this book several weeks ago and it is still haunting me with its beauty. Sheldon Vanauken ("Van") tells the story of his all-consuming love-affair with his wife, Davy, and how their quest for beauty and truth ultimately led them to Christ. And then how, just in her mid-thirties, Davy became ill and was given the doctor's sentence of death. This is the story of their life together, her passing, Van's experience of soul-wrenching grief, and how his friendship with C. S. Lewis helped him get down "to the bedrock of meaning" — something Lewis was later to experience firsthand with the death of his wife Joy.

I was struck by so many things in this story, not least of which was Van's brutal honesty about himself. I don't think I show more could bare my soul like that — or do it with such clear-eyed grace. The writing style is absolutely superb, with not a word out of place. As soon as I started the evocative first chapter (so reminiscent of du Maurier's "I dreamed I went to Manderley" opening to Rebecca), I felt immediately that I was in the hands of a master. I was also fascinated by how their love seemed to transcend the usual experience and their complex analysis of what makes "in-loveness" stay (the principle of sharing everything [and not having children, from this motive], the Appeal to Love ["what is best for our love?" being the final determining factor in all their decisions], the Shining Barrier, etc.). I loved how Van found it so natural to express his inner life via poetry (and good poetry, at that!).

The book's haunting title, which refers to Davy's death, is a phrase from one of C. S. Lewis's letters to Van. On the face of it, it seemed cruel of God to take her, but her beautiful death was actually His kindest grace to them both. In their correspondence, Jack and Van posited the theory that all human love must die somehow and that the "happy old couples" are the ones who have seen it reborn, purified. Converted to Christianity probably a decade or so into their marriage, Van and Davy slowly realized that God had breached the Shining Barrier that protected their love from all else — that she loved Him more than anything, more even than she loved Van. But Van was not as committed. Some time following her death, he examines with stark realism what might have happened if she had lived. Either he would have become as committed as she on his own (not likely) or he would have succumbed to jealousy and ended by hating both her and the God who had claimed her fullest love: a chilling prospect. I can't do it justice, but I was almost breathless as I read the chapter where he lays all this out.

And so she died, and he lived on, and suffered and wept and slowly but unhesitatingly saw the unfathomable love of God through everything. The beautiful phrase of Van's, that by her early death "the manuscript of our love was sent safe to the Printer," will stay with me forever. It is not too much to say that this is one of the best and most profound autobiographical works I have ever read. Highly, highly recommended. show less

This book is dear to me, as it's one of the first my fiance and I shared. It's the spiritual autobiography of the love between Sheldon Vanauken and his wife Jean ("Davy"), and it is probably the most heartbreakingly beautiful book I have ever read. It tells the story of their love from idealistic courtship days to World War II to graduate studies at Yale and Oxford, to Davy's illness and eventual death in Lynchburg and Charlottesville, Virginia. Most significantly, it recounts their conversion to Christianity and befriending of C.S. Lewis while in England. The sometimes-agonizing transformation of their love after they became Christians has impacted me deeply as I have contemplated marriage. I've read it twice within the past year and show more come away always with a longing for a cruciform love that is turned outward toward Christ and the world rather than inward upon itself. show less

Read the first chapter. The authors mind is like still waters running deeply. Full of words, dreams, and memories. His thoughts of beauty and joy ring true with thoughts that run in my spirit. His aesthetic experience reflects the way I often feel looking at the a sunset or stars. It is good to recognize, even in a book written by someone you never may meet, a kindred heart. I feel great confidence I shall enjoy this book. I stopped myself at the end of the first chapter so I can savor the book rather than burn through it quickly. It lends itself to reflection.

I'm not sure I knew that love between two people lovers could be this close and dedicated. A beautiful treasure of a book that reminds one of the beauty of the world, of people, show more and of God. Brought the stars a little closer.

The author examines what loves really means. What a relationship with God is. Reflections on our place in this world and the next. It was either he or in one of C.S. Lewis's letters that he described us as trans-mortals. Living in one world but made for the next. Musings on time and where we fit in its ebbs and flows. It is not a breathless, edge of your seat read. Rather it is like pausing to consider a rose, watch a sunset unfold, or stopping to watch snow flakes fall from the sky. It's a book of reflections on existence and life. A story of great joy and great sadness and finding the way back to joy. Highly
recommended.

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Tennyson

Edit to add: Several people have given this book low ratings because they find the relationship between Davy and Sheldon was to close. Suffocating in fact. And for some people a relationship as close as theirs would be outside of their comfort zone. But, to quote Timothy Keller: "Freedom, then, is not the absence of limitations and constraints but it is finding the right ones, those that fit our nature, and liberate us." Their relationship fit them. It fit their needs and filled their lives and they were happy in that. It may not be the template for every love relationship but it something that between Davy and Sheldon was a beautiful fulfilling joy. Few people find that fulfillment in this life. So, my hat is off to them. :) show less

Beloved, profoundly moving account of the author's marriage, the couple's search for faith and friendship with C. S. Lewis, and a spiritual strength that sustained Vanauken after his wife's untimely death.

Among all the books I've read, A Severe Mercy easily ranks among the top ten best. In my first reading some 20 years ago it profoundly affected me intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. It is a compelling account of the author's and his wife's search for spiritual truth, their passionate love for each other, her untimely terminal illness and death, and their mutual relationship with the venerable C. S. Lewis. This is one I will return to for inspiration time and again through the years.

not sure whether this is a love story, an autobiography, a treatise on aesthetics, an apologetic of Christianity, a manual on dealing with grief, or a book of poetry and literature...but I was awfully pleased to read of CS Lewis using the designation "corking good" in reference to another author.

My only beef is that the author examines his grief so scientifically and philosophically that, should I find myself in a similar position, I would not draw any comfort from his hypotheses.

On the other hand...what a mind! To gain the insights from examining his life as he has...makes me feel the rest of us (myself chiefly) muddle through life like a bunch of bumbling idiots.

For fans of C.S. Lewis and deep thinking, this spiritual autiobiography is one that will stay with the reader long after he or she puts it down. In it the author relates the events of his life, mainly dealing with his deep love for his wife, Davy, and their resolve to create an unbreakable love. They thought long and deep about what it would take to make their bond unbreakable, even resolving to not have children and to follow one another into death. But that was before their journey to England, to Oxford, and their aquaintance with a vibrant Christian community, and with C.S. Lewis. As they seperately and then jointly begin lives of faith, they also wrestle with what that means for their lives, their careers, their friendships, and show more their marriage. Nothing tests the author quite so much as when Davy gets gravely ill. It is then that the words of C.S. Lewis in letters help and comfort him as he comes to terms with the "severe mercy" that they have been given. show less