Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home

I really enjoyed this book! I found myself laughing out loud at Janzen's wry, cynical sense of humor, as she describes how her bipolar husband leaves her for a man he's met on gay.com after fifteen tumultuous years of marrige, her subsequent serious auto accident, and return to her Mennonite parents home in LA to recuperate; her mother's ever bouyant optimism and utter practicality, even in the face of flatulence; the joys of being raised by a Mennonite pastor in simplicity and protection from the ever present and rampant SEX of the outside world; as well as the horrors of attending school with ugly sensible lunch boxes, home sewn skirts, brain-tightening braids and a myriad of shame inducing packed lunches, where borscht, warm show more kartoffelsalat and soggy persimmon cookies (in all their raisin laden horror!) lurked on a daily basis to make school horror complete.

Janzen manages to explore some pretty heavy truths with forthrightness, humor and deep introspection. One reviewer said she has nothing to say, and I couldn't agree less. I heartily recommend this one - if you like David Sedaris or Sloane Crosley, I think you'll love this! show less

After her abusive, bipolar husband of fifteen years leaves her for a man named Bob, Rhoda suffers a severe car accident and decides to move back home to recover and piece her life together. What follows is a acquaintance with the oddities of the Mennonite community.

With snarky humor and pointed ribbing, Rhoda walks us through her life as a Mennonite before she decide to go to college and leave her antiquated home town behind. Rhoda examines what benefits a Mennonite upbringing has as well as the many handicaps it has added to her life.

I found this book an intimate glimpse into a very closed society and discovered much I could relate to regarding the difficulties of leaving home and the equally difficult proposition of coming back.

Janzen's bipolar, extremely emotionally abusive husband leaves her for a man he met on gay.com and, after a health crisis and a bad accident, she goes home to California to stay with her Mennonite family. She's a brilliant, insightful scholar, yet she put up with 15 years of a marriage right out of Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf. It's not that she didn't know any better. In fact she describes her friend Eva who has remained in the church: "The very picture of mental health and self-respecting balance, Eva would have told Nick in the first month of marriage, "If you can't make some changes in how you manage your illness, I'll be making some changes in how I manage this commitment." But if she hadn't had that disaster of a marriage, she show more wouldn't have written this hilarious book, and would have deprived us of her enlightenment. A good Mennonite embraces suffering, and we thank her for that. show less

There were several points in this book where I started laughing out loud. Rhoda Janzen tells her story with a great blend of honesty and word play. At one point, I was almost in tears from laughing so hard while sitting alone on my couch. Although I had to fight through some “academia” related paragraphs, there were so many other moments of pure enjoyment that this book earns a top recommendation from me.

I just finished one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read. In the vast sea of that genre, forget “Eat, Pray, Love“, the book group favorite memoir du jour. Instead, check out Rhoda Janzen’s “Mennonite In a Little Black Dress” and you’ll never look at a horse drawn buggy the same.

Not that Rhoda Janzen’s Mennonite family rode around in a buggy – they would be driven off the road in her native California. Nor does she now, living right here in the Great Lakes state and teaching at Hope College. However, it was a serious automobile accident that sent her packing to see her parents. That, and the fact that her psycho husband left her for another man who he found on Gay.com.

Janzen describes her Mennonite childhood with humor, show more if not fondness. Her hair “braided with neurotic precision, like Heidi on crack”, her homemade clothes (complete with strips of fabric to lengthen her pants) and the Shame-Based Lunches that smelled of the vinegar-based ingredients that all Germans love.

Speaking of Mennonite food, who wouldn’t want a cute little Cotletten and Ketchup sandwich, with the little saltine cracker meatballs so endearing to Mennonites all over the world? Or, how about a nice pungent bowl of Borscht? For a hearty appetite, nothing but a plate of Warmer Kartoffelsalata (translation – hot potato salad) will do. (Incidentally, while reading this particular chapter, I kind of felt like I was at a Lutheran potluck in the church’s basement with the Schroeder, Schwartz and Krueger families. However, the thought that any associations that I have could relate to Mennonitism startled me, so I quickly put it out of my mind).

Janzen, in her poetic and deadpan funny way, reminisces about her peculiar Mennonite childhood and the realization that she didn’t want to be part of that group anymore when she grew up. She describes her hilarious family in detail including her serious father, endearing non-religious sister and pious brothers (who did not leave the Mennonite faith). Her most detailed descriptions are saved for her quirky mother, whose quiet acceptance of all of her children, Mennonite or not, is heart-warming.

However, it was her description of her husband that made me both angry and sad. Angry at him for being such a complete jerk and sad for her for taking it for so long. Despite the fact that she describes him as “brilliant but tortured”, I can’t help but think of him as “narcissistic but cruel”.

That said, this is a minor quibble since Janzen has worked for so long to overcome her sadness and move on. The last guy she was dating before the book ended was a 27-year-old motorcycle-riding Mennonite. She’s my age, so the age difference kind of weirded me out. Then I figured that there were worse fates, so I moved on myself.

In the meantime, I absolutely loved Janzen’s memoir, Shamed-Based Food and all. She’s the kind of person with whom I would like to sit and eat lunch, chit-chatting amiably about her Menno and worldly lives. She might even Google her name and find this blog saying, “Mein Gott! One of my biggest fans is on the other side of the state!” Just as long as she doesn’t study my grammar too carefully, we could be friends. I’m sure of it.

Pass the saurkraut, please. Danke. show less

Rhoda Janzen had one of those spells that can occur in life -- life-threatening illness followed by betrayal by the person closest to her (who had handed her the bowl to toss her cookies in only moments -- in emotional time, at least -- before). So what was a woman to do? Maybe write a book that leaves David Sedaris in the dust?

I picked up this book because ancestors a generation or two back were Mennonite, and I liked the double-take title. I read the book and almost suffered whiplash from crying so hard I could only laugh (or maybe it was the other way 'round). Don't read this book if you think logic should rule life. DO read this book if you can look back on some of your bad memories with fondness for the people who were there with show more you.

I lent my copy ONLY to a very dear friend -- who I knew in the end wouldn't give it back. I'm going to go look at the swap offers now... show less

I had meant to read this memoir when it was first published, but somehow never got around to it. I did read Janzen's second volume of memoirs, Does This Church Make Me Look Fat?, but it didn't inspire me to rush out looking for Mennonite.... However, the other day there it was at a library book sale, and I am so glad. Not that Janzen doesn't say some very worthwhile serious things in this book, but what I really enjoyed was the humor. I got more good outloud laughs from this book than any since the last Bill Bryson book I read. The nicest thing about Mennonite... is that the humor is not mean-spirited. Janzen clearly loves her parents and the other elderly Mennonites they hang out with. Even as she realizes afresh that she really no show more longer belongs in their world, she appreciates the good things from her upbringing in the faith. If Rhoda Janzen writes a third volume of memoirs, I'll be sure to read it. show less