Carol Tavris

This meticulously researched book delves deep into the functions of the human memory and the way we reduce dissonance by massaging our memory to cast ourselves in the best possible light. Moreover, when we make mistakes or abandon our values, we reduce dissonance by doubling down and assuring ourselves that we did nothing wrong. This is how people can carry on affairs while justifying themselves by recalling the unpleasant quirks of their spouse.

The book examines the way cognitive dissonance show more can effect relationships, professions, law and order, and politics. Although the topic is heavy, the writing is very light and easy to consume. I found the content fascinating and disturbing in equal measure. The knowledge that our own memories which make up our self-understanding are malleable and prone to revision was upsetting enough to require quite a bit of dissonance reduction on its own.

To then learn that most of despicable acts of those in our lives and in the news would never be acknowledged or regretted by those who commit them was extremely discouraging. Moreover, knowing that we often gloss over our own cruelties and may never know the true impact of our behaviors was also very upsetting.

The way I reduced dissonance around these unfortunate facts is to hope that having read this book, I'll be more aware of my own instinct to diminish my own mistakes and be more sympathetic to those I disagree with. Still, it's cold comfort. It's a book I would recommend, although it's hardly light reading. show less

I guess I can't say it is a mistake to read this book; I already spent the time to read so I have to self-justify that it was a good use of time....just kidding, it really is a good use of time. The book presents the problems of our (often unconscious) self-justification and the reconciliation of our mistakes with the type of person we think we are. The cognitive dissonance of making mistakes when we think are not the type of person who would make mistakes leads us to justify foolish show more beliefs, bad decisions and hurtful acts.

The book discusses the influence of self-justification on public mistakes, investments, relationships, politics and the law. It shows the problem of using correlation as causation, a technique that is helpful after the fact to help us justify bad things we do. Unfortunately, the data shows the opposite, that the mistakes we make lead us to find correlations that would cause us to do such things, reducing the cognitive dissonance we have when we know we are doing something wrong.

Overall, a data-supported and thoughtful analysis of The Emperor's New Clothes, and the negative effects in our lives of self-justification over admission of mistakes, learning and growth. show less

Self-justification is the commonest response to cognitive dissonance. It’s the reason we typically end up deceiving ourselves and sometimes others, all the while believing that we are in the right. Tavris and Aronson explode our practice of self-justification with comprehensive appeal to experimental psychology, reams of scientific articles, statistics, and therapeutic experience that, first, lays out the conditions that give rise to cognitive dissonance and then the standard kinds of show more response that are found. They explore these in the realms of history, science, therapy, criminal justice, and personal relationships. The analysis is astounding. You will be amazed at the discrepancy between things we say, do, and believe, and what the science actually shows.

Tavris and Aronson affect a breezy, colloquial style in their writing. They are quite willing to call out hypocrisy and foolishness. But they substantiate their judgements with substantial appeal to the scientific literature. (There are forty pages of endnotes.) The result is a book that is highly readable but also remarkably grounded in supporting scientific research.

So pervasive is the practice of self-justification in the face of cognitive dissonance that the reader can easily despair. How can we possibly overcome this pervasive distortion of reality? And indeed, instances of people in authority admitting to making mistakes are so rare that only a tiny portion of the book canvases them. Nonetheless, the authors do provide some general guidance as to how we might work against our potential for self-justification at least in our own lives. Like me, you might wish for more. However, the larger task of opening readers’ eyes to what is going on around them is most assuredly accomplished.

Certainly recommended. show less

Woof. Good read, difficult as expected. Her ideas around self justification and narrative preservation clicked with my intuitions about my own behavior during more than a few uncomfortable times in my past. This feels like a mental framework that will be useful in the future.

There's a lot to recommend in here, but... specifically, this is one I wish software engineers would required to read before engaging in any sort of tooling or language advocacy.