Brian Bouldrey

In these essays, Bouldrey chronicles the world of the macho man from the point of view of a self-confessed "part-time opera queen" who once killed a bear (he wasn't only three, though). From rodeos to car racing, from bullfighting to boxing, Bouldrey analyzes male bonding and homoeroticism with wit and affection.

Despite the title of the book, it isn't all about "American" machismo, as Bouldrey also writes about his pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela in Spain, conversations with a spa show more attendant in the Azores, and the aforesaid bullfighting. show less

I've had this since 1993. I knew Brian Bouldrey in college. I wish I had read this book sooner. Wasn't sure how the narrator would wrap up his story, but I really liked the way Chapter 13, Confession Again, became just a rumination by the narrator on the meaning of his story.

I'm giving this 4 stars because I really disliked one of the pieces in this book. Other than this one story, I loved all the rest and would have given it a higher rating.

This essay collection, compiled by Bouldrey (The Genius of Desire, Ballantine, 1993), examines the struggles of faith of 21 gay male writers, including Andrew Holleran, Lev Raphael, and Michael Nava. Spiritual hunger, the need for guidance, and thoughts of death bring each author to contemplate the mystery of spirituality and the tempestuous relationship between spirituality and sexuality.