Heather Corinna

Perimenopause - that transition time before official menopause, when a person has been without a period for a full year - is a time we often dread, fear, ridicule, or just plain don't understand. It doesn't help when one lives in a world where women are second-class citizens and much of the time the medical advice has less to do with self-care of the person experiencing menopause than with managing symptoms for the benefit of everyone around her.

Enter Heather Corinna and their no-nonsense, show more validating and affirming approach to perimenopause. They address basic care that will help those experiencing symptoms, the things we all know are "good for us" like exercising and quitting smoking. They discuss questions for health care providers, the pros and cons of hormone replacement therapy. But most of all, they advocate for taking care of yourself and embracing positive aspects of menopause in the midst of a culture that doesn't value women after childbirth. This is also one of the most inclusive books I've ever read, as you might expect from a non-binary sex education author. Heather comes alongside as someone still experiencing perimenopause, and having a rough time with it. They're not afraid to acknowledge the rough parts of perimenopause, yet do it in a way that I was laughing and enjoying myself reading about hot flashes and nominal aphasia. This gave me the confidence that I do know my body and I am experiencing perimenopause, as well as the language to ask my doctors questions at my next appointments. show less

I had good sex-ed books growing up, from what I remember. They were straight-forward, science based and once I got over the obligatory "eww gross!" reaction, they were really quite interesting. This book, however, outshines them all.

Let me get my one complaint out of the way: the subtitle. "The all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college" alienates anyone who doesn't finish high school, doesn't plan to go to college, or pursues an alternative show more education and quite often these are the people who most need access to reliable information about their sexual health. In reading the book, I didn't find the content to reflect this bias which was a relief.

But back to the book itself. The author is the founder and owner of Scarleteen, probably the best web resource for teen sexuality. If anyone knows what teens actually want and need to know about sex and sexuality, she'd be the person. Right from the start she tells us that she won't be spending much time on discussing abstinence, backing that decision up with the following statistic: "…about 26 percent of young adults 'practicing abstinence' will become pregnant within one year." Instead she accepts that most young people will want and eventually have sex and tries to prepare them for that eventuality. Unlike may sex-ed books, she goes beyond just explaining how not to get pregnant or contract an STI - she actually talks about how to have GOOD sex. The discussion of safer sex includes the usual physically safer sex, but also emotionally safer sex.

There's a ton of good stuff in this book, including realistic descriptions of what you will experience in an OB/GYN appointment, how to use the various kinds of birth control (including cost and effectiveness), and what an abortion is actually like without all the scare tactics. There is also a recognition that teens don't always (or often) wait for a long-term relationship in order to have sex; many will have hook ups, one night stands or friends with benefits. Queer, genderqueer, and kinky teens will all find themselves represented here which is refreshing change of pace in the world of sex-ed.

Above all the author stresses communication: if you can't talk to your partner about what you want and need from a sexual encounter, you should probably rethink having sex with them at all. Will this prevent anyone who reads it from having bad sex? Probably not, but the more that message gets out there, the sooner they WILL start demanding what they need in their sexual lives, something that people of all ages will benefit from! show less

No one prepares you for perimenopause. I mean, sort of. You hear tales of hot flashes, mood swings, brain fog, and maybe you have someone in your life, a friend who is a few years ahead of you, or your mother’s “change” was discussed in hushed whispers. But there are still many mysteries about perimenopause and the mystery can disarm you like puberty, except at least with puberty you had a Judy Blume book and a public education class. And the pain of it is that everyone’s experience show more is slightly different. I had thought I was fairly done with it until I had what I know now is referred to as flooding. It is exactly what it sounds like.

What is this? Do fibroids burst? Do I have cancer? I called my OB/GYN and went in. She ran some tests and it wasn’t cancer, and while this doctor knew everything about my reproductive system and birthing, I didn’t feel the same level of competence with this new situation. She put me on birth control for a few months to see if it would straighten out. I didn’t even find much on the Internet, except for advice to give myself the excuse to stay on the couch a few days.

So I turned to What Fresh Hell is This? Perimenopause, menopause, other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna a new book coming out this June. The author, while not a doctor, does have street cred having been an educator in the field of sexuality. There were parts of the book I felt were useful, a section on flooding was included, and there were some questions I had answered. Sometimes I had to pass through a lot of content to get my particular questions answered. The book tries to be all things to all people—there is a fair amount dedicated to the trans experience and a lot on the history of menopausal malpractice by the patriarchy. There isn’t a lot out there, but my hormones have made my patience thin and I want answers to MY questions. Some of the solutions also seem “in the now”, but that may be because this field is rapidly changing.

Again, my experience will be different from yours, so you may find answers to your particular situation with this book.

BTW—an excellent title for the book, because with each new experience of perimenopause, you will be asking yourself exactly What Fresh Hell is This? show less

This book is so good that it is making me angry, which is a reaction I don't even understand. I love it. As a former teenager, I love it and wish I'd had it then. As a mother of a daughter, I love it and can't wait to give it to my kid when she's old enough to need it. As a midwife who works in sexual and reproductive health, I LOVE IT AND WISH I WAS RICH ENOUGH TO HAND IT OUT LIKE CANDY. Every kid needs this book. Probably a lot of adults, too.

It's fun, it's straightforward, it's honest, show more it's non-judgmental, and it's kind. It's loving and it's there for you, like an older pal who knows what things are like and cares about you and wants to save you some of the tough lessons they learned - but also wants to make sure you understand the truly important things and don't mess things up.

I would love a follow-up by the same team that gets into the nitty-gritty of STIs, contraception, and abortion. I know Isabella Rotman has her STI comic but I don't know if it's geared towards teens. Of course, that's what Scarleteen is for. But I'm a sucker for physical books, and I dream of having a waiting room packed with books just like this for my patients.

Everyone should buy this and read it.

I received a free eARC of this book via Netgalley in exchange for my honest review, because I just couldn't wait until the release party on 9/4 to read it. show less