Jenny Downham

This book is quite stunning. From the first page I was drawn into its absolute immediacy and honesty. And then I became aware of the narrator, Tessa's, self-absorption. Because of her illness her life is different; she has no consequences, no boring domestic duties, no day-to-day responsibilities. The world really does revolve around her and her needs. She is immature, irresponsible, thoughtless, inconsiderate and insensitive. In fact, most of the time she's not a very nice person and I show more spent a lot of time feeling disgust. And yet, every time I put the book down, it took a while for the sense of urgency and uniqueness to fade, to realise that I was not the one dying. On the cover is the one-word review, "luminous." And my eye is drawn ever back to that one, enigmatic explanation for so much feeling. show less

Honest, touching, funny – a joyful and optimistic book that says more about living than dying. I bought it for my 15-year-old daughter to read (O.K. I bought it for myself – I want to read other Young Adult & Children’s authors) and she, knowing I stack up my intended reads insisted ‘this has to be the next book you read’.

Like her, I have found myself snatching a read at every moment of the day (I stopped reading it at night about half way through – I’m a sensitive soul – for show more fear of nightmares).

16 year-old Tessa has been diagnosed with Leukaemia and has been living with it since she was 12. She makes a list of 10 things she wants to do before she dies; the first on her list is sex.

I can’t imagine how I would have felt reading this when I was 16. I probably wouldn’t have read it. I was such a coward and suffered nightmares. My daughter tells me she wasn’t worried about having nightmares while reading it ‘nightmares are about things that aren’t real – this book is real’.

If you have a list of books you want to read, make this number one - I insist. show less

There are two major things going on in Katie’s life simultaneously: (1) Katie kissed her best friend, Esme, and now they’re not friends and (2) Mary, the grandmother Katie never met, has come to live with them. Mary’s partner, Jack, suddenly passed away, listing Katie’s mother, Caroline, as the person to contact in an emergency. The thing is, Mary has dementia and she and Caroline do not get along.

As the school term has just ended, Katie volunteers to care for Mary while proper care show more is arranged, which suits her mother. The two form a close bond and Mary in her lucid moments tells of her life, both sad and happy. Katie learns that Mary left Caroline in the care of Mary’s sister, Pat, since Mary at 16 was not capable of raising an illegitimate child. Katie learns of Mary’s ‘carefree’ life in the London theater, as well as the regrets of losing Caroline.

There is so much going on in Unbecoming, a wonderful, bittersweet novel. Downham gently explores Katie’s sexuality, the family’s intergenerational dynamics and Katie’s special needs brother, Chris. The rapport between grandmother and granddaughter is gratifying. The contrast between a ‘carefree’ grandmother and her overly careful daughter makes one wonder which traits are genetic and which are learned. Although none of us can really know how a person with early Alzheimers feels, moments of lucidity offset by moments of clouded memory, Downham ably puts us in Mary’s head, a difficult feat.

One of the best books I’ve read this year and one that will probably make my 2016 Top Ten list, Unbecoming is a tender novel that will warm your heart. show less

I listened to this book on audiobook several years ago and remembered it as being very touching and thoughtful. Rereading it did not disappoint.

I adore Tessa. I adore her so much. Her ferocity is absolutely fantastic. She's going to die and she knows it, so why should she waste her time on things like laws or social conventions?

The first thing on her list is sex, and that scene was so poignant. The emotions Tessa has and the way she feels is realistic and so accurate of first time sex that I show more think a lot of people could find that very touching. Another scene that I adored was the scene in which she does drugs, which I found amusingly accurate.

Cal, Tessa's little brother, is my favourite character. He's hilarious, but sweet at the same time and I just wanted to pick him up and give him a hug. He's aware that Tessa's dying, but also that she gets all the attention, which isn't at all fair.

I loved the manner in which the list was revealed--instead of getting it all up front, we had to wait a bit and see them happen. I also loved that the ending came when it did and not when we wanted it to, making it realistic for me.

Really, this is about the life of a teenage girl, not about death. Death just forces her to live a little faster.

This is a pretty easy read, but may make you cry. I love the poignancy of this book and am glad I reread it. show less