Peter Allen David (1956–2025)

In a retread of The Last Starfighter, Christopher Jarvis was just a teenager playing laser tag at his local Photon game center when his mad skillz brought him to the notice of a galactic police force -- the Photon Warriors -- that recruited him to fight the dastardly minions working under the ultra-evil Warlord of Arr.

But this volume breezes past that origin and throws us directly into an adventure with Bhodi Li -- Jarvis' Photon Warrior codename -- and two of his teammates as they have to show more stop a time-traveling plot to recruit Adolf Hitler as the Warlord of Arr's newest minion.

Yeah, it's that cheesy.

So Bhodi runs around 1940s Berlin trying to track down Arr lackeys Mandarr, Pirarr, and Destructarr (Warriarr, Dogarr, and Bugarr couldn't make it) before they can change history and level up Hitlarr. He just needs to use his Photon laser gun to hit their chest plates and send them back to the future.

Oh, Bhodi also discovers the Holocaust and tries to fit a fix for that into his busy schedule.

I bought this book and the rest of the series about twenty-five years ago when I found out the author name "David Peters" was a pseudonym of Peter David, one of my favorite comic book writers, but I never got around to actually reading them. But when my hand touched them as part of an indexing project I'm doing, I remembered that David died earlier this year and was prompted to finally give them a go.

It's easy to tell that David wrote this, his humor and style are everywhere, which is the only reason I'm going to keep on reading even though this is pretty obviously hackwork for a laser tag company that was riding a wave of success in 1987 and was trying to cash in before it all went away, which happened just a couple of years later. It is very much of it's time, with clashing groups of good and evil akin to He-Man and friends vs. Skeletor's forces or G.I. Joe vs. Cobra.

It ain't good, but that rarely stops me when it comes to my reading choices. show less

While this Star Trek trilogy takes place after many of the Mackenzie Calhoun spinoffs in the Star Trek universe, the character’s creator penned this exclusive-to-Kindle novella trilogy and it shows. Because he created the extraterrestrial character with complex shadings who is the star of the New Frontier books in the Next Generation world there is nothing that feels off in the slightest; there are even some nice tie-ins to the original Star Trek series episode City On the Edge of Forever. show more Even if you only have a passing knowledge of the Star Trek universe, and have never gone near one of the books, which can vary greatly in quality, I think you can pick this up and very quickly get a handle on Captain Calhoun and the other characters, and their ties to each other.

As this one begins — obviously after a cataclysmic event — Calhoun has abandoned his duty as Captain of the Excalibur to seek out any surviving members of the Xenex race of which Calhoun is a member. He feels responsible for the entire race being wiped out by the D’myurj. His wife, Ambassador Shelby — Next Generation viewers will be familiar with Elizabeth Shelby — finds her husband, but cannot prevent him from reaching the Guardian of Forever as he intends to go back and change things. But Mark McHenry appears with a sly manner and powers so vast he isn’t even certain how far they extend, and talks Calhoun out of it. Returning to Star Fleet to try to get authorization for an excursion into Thallonian space, the half-Romulan Soleta is awakened from her coma and remembers things which will help Calhoun. Maybe…

Through some intrigue and a thinly veiled wink from Admiral Jellico, Calhoun soon has the loyal Excalibur crew in Thallonian space, searching for the wormhole to the pocket universe Soleta has recalled. Calhoun intends to exact vengeance on the D’myurj for wiping out his race — though it will not erase his guilt — and also rescue Admiral Nechayev — an imposter the reason Soleta was in the coma. But alas, the best laid plains of mice and men…

A lot happens in this first installment in The Returned and it’s great. There is humor, drama, a good feel for the characters, and enough action and intrigue to satisfy any reader. It starts off easy, and becomes more dense and complex as it goes forward. The deeply entangled history of Calhoun and his crew includes a future heir to the Thallonian world, a betrayal by Calhoun’s wayward and misguided son, a Vulcan mind-meld not strong enough to prevent grief from escaping for a member of Calhoun’s crew, and some exciting action both aboard the Excalibur and off. It is the relationships abroad the ship and off which drive the book as much as the fascinating story-line. Deep friendships, unrequited love, distrust and incredible loyal make this a fabulous read. We really feel like we’re back in the Star Trek universe with this one. And that ending!

If you’re one of those who tried a couple of the books years ago and found them a bit lackluster compared to the show, give this a try. As mentioned, you really don’t have to be familiar with all the new characters to catch up in this fabulous post-Next Generation universe. It’s really a perfect blending of the old and new, and well-written, as are most of the Peter David books. It’s a cliffhanger, but since you can already pick up the next couple — and they aren’t pricey, another selling point — you won’t have to wait around for ages to find out what happens. Great stuff! show less

So another great issue in the chronicles of the Gunslinger. Wow. Once again high marks to taking the most important parts of [b:Wizard and Glass|5096|Wizard and Glass (The Dark Tower, #4)|Stephen King|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1327946510s/5096.jpg|750558] and bringing it to life in this graphic novel. We see that Roland's father is not so inept that he does not realize what his wife has been up to for a couple of years now. Which kind of begs the question what was he thinking by show more letting it go on. I see some parallels to King Arthur and Guinevere here in this whole story-line, except our version of Lancelot (The Man in Black) is evil and is all about the destruction of Gilead.

We see in this issue Roland's father sending him away for his own good, while doing what he can to help out Gilead. Though Roland doesn't want to be sent away, he realizes that he needs to because he has shown his hand to The Man in Black.

I kind of thought Roland's dad was a hotter and more grizzled version of Chris Pine in like 20 plus years. So I am good with that. I still feel pity for Roland's mother. Man, that ending scene when he made sure he said what he did in order to hurt her....dang. I maybe sniffled.

We get a look at the Crimson King in this one. And yeah, I maybe had a nightmare about a giant spider thing with a human face trying to eat me. You're welcome. There is a lot of gruesome to see that is happening throughout this issue. Though the part where The Man in Black turned people into dogs was kind of funny. I don't think it was supposed to be.

And we get our first look at Roland's one true love, Susan Delgado. I felt myself feeling sad for this character all over again. And once again getting to see what Rhea of Coos looks like. And that whole scene where she "checks" Susan, yep still gross and awful. And you get more of Susan's desperation with having to offer herself up as a "gully" to the Mayor of Hambry.

This issue ends on a nice cliffhanger with Susan fleeing in grief and coming upon our Roland for the first time. show less

Artful is a truly disappointing book: one that starts out with promise before nosediving a third of the way in. The novel has an entertaining premise, and the initial chapters have some truly delightful moments before David starts phoning everything in. But once he does, Artful quickly becomes all but unreadable. Characters who one spoke in a fair approximation of Dickens' originals suddenly start sounding like characters in a 20th century sitcom until David remembers they're supposed to be show more speaking in dialect. Then, after a paragraph or two of "gen'lmen" and "ye"'s, they're back to tossing around phrases like "teenage girl" and "borderline insane," destroying all sense of tone.

David writes as though even he doesn't believe his prose is entertaining or believable, instead relying on cliche, over-description, and a thesaurus' worth of adjectives to do the heavy narrative lifting (with predictably poor results). Some pro tips: don't end a two-page action scene with the sentence "but this all happened much faster than it takes to describe it," rewrite the scene. Don't conclude a paragraph with "it's not especially relevant to the narrative," delete the irrelevant verbiage. And choose a tone for you book and stick to it. Artful reels back and forth between Discworld-meets-steampunk Dickens reboot, gory vampire horror novel, lighthearted paperback romance, and melodramatic YA angst-a-thon. None of these elements are poorly done in their own right; but they sure as heck aren't integrated into a cohesive whole. I love pseudo-Victorian literature and I love supernatural thrillers, so I'm willing to suspend a great deal of disbelief for a novel that combines both, but David's inability to determine where he wants his story to go makes that all but impossible here.

Had Artful been merely bad, I don't think it would have irked me so much. But beginning as it does with real promise only to fail to deliver on any of it, through sheer authorial and editorial laziness, is somehow much worse. Anyone looking for a well-written re-imagining of the Victorian era, be it supernatural (ala Lilith Saintcrow's Bannon and Claire series) or Dickensian (ala Pratchett's Dodger) would do well to look elsewhere. show less