Esmeralda Santiago

"To her, the scar is not invisible. It irritates her when people pretend it's not there. It's a reminder of who she is now, and who she was then....They're there to remind her that she fought for her life, and that, no matter what how others may interpret it, she has a right to live that life as she chooses."

America's Dream by Esmeralda Santiago was November's pick for #ReadPuertoRican book club. In this one, Santiago highlights Puerto Rican women while at the same time giving you important show more Puerto Rican history such as: U.S. occupation and bomb testing in Vieques, birth control and sterilization of Puerto Rican women, and rise of tourism from the slave system and haciendas. Santiago's main focus was on machismo and domestic violence. Although this book published in 1996, it relevant still today as Puerto Rican femicide and gender violence led to a state if emergency being declared in Puerto Rico as gender based violence continues to rise and has historically been a huge problem in the Caribbean.

Santiago gives us a nuanced perspective on domestic abuse through America Gonzalez's eyes. She shows us how difficult it is to get help while being in and even after leaving the relationship. She shows us the push-pull mentality as Puerto Rican women grapple with wanting to pursue freedom through feminism but at the same time upholding the very same beliefs that are the cause of their oppression. For many women poverty forces the cycle of violence and machismo to continue. She shows how mother-daughter relationships are strained through mixed messaging and not being able to openly talk about machismo without feeling like they're assimilating or abandoning their culture. She shows us the ways they cope with abuse and trauma, from total denial of depression, numbing through alcoholism and learning how to be in survival mode on a daily basis.

What I found interesting about Santiago's writing is how she places the status of women within the greater context of the colonial status of Puerto Rico. The state of ambivalence the women display directly mirrors the mentality of Puerto Ricans when is comes to their relationship with the U.S.
They've been abused for so long, they've almost become passive. They know they need to change in order to survive but the roots of trauma and abuse are embedded so deeply through Puerto Ricans that at times, it feels almost impossible to come up for air. But the Puerto Rican resilience and will to survive has sustained despite all the tragedy. For many change has come from exposure to living in the diaspora but more importantly by holding on to language, refusing assimilation and empowering the next generation to become changemakers. Essentially, the fate of Puerto Rican women depends on the fight for Puerto Rico's sovereignty. América Gonzalez, as a character reminds us that although we may be battered and bruised, we are not broken and there is much work to do in the areas of decolonization, unlearning machismo and gender violence and solidarity in liberation movements. Siempre pa'lante but never forgetting what it means to be a Puerto Rican survivor. show less

"Con la musica por dentro"...with the music inside...perfectly describes Negi the main protagonist in Esmeralda's Santiago's memoir When I Was Puerto Rican. I read this one with as a buddy read with @idleutopia_reads and some other awesome bookstagrammers and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

From the moment I started reading this I knew that Negi and I shared the same spirit: the spirit of a fighter, one who questions everything, one who challenges authority and makes her own show more rules and her own space in an uber masculine world that seeks to break you. No matter what tragedy happened, she just pushed through and it fueled her determination to save herself from her circumstances. My mother used to tell me I had " la musica por dentro" and I never understood what it meant. All I knew was that I was sensitive to people's pain but I was also a rebel who could not be tamed or silenced.

There are books that come into your life that give you glimpses of your younger self, your journey, your homeland and more importantly your beloved culture and ancestry. Representation in books is far and in between but this one spoke to me deeply on a visceral level. It transported me to Puerto Rico and places that I loved to visit as little girl. It brought back memories of my grandparents and it also gave me snippets of what my mother's life was like when she first moved to NYC. I gave me some new history about my neighborhood and made me feel more connected to my Puerto Rican roots. It gave me new insight into my own parents' experiences and it provided validation for their own migration stories.

This book touched me in so many ways that I can't help but cry and smile at the same time. The little girl in me that was just like Negi has found reconciliation and newfound pride in the pages. Negi's story is one that I will revisit over and over because it reminded me that the undying fire that lives inside of me burns for a reason. I am reminded who I fight for every day. Thank you Esmeralda Santiago for sharing your life with the world. I am forever grateful. show less

Set against the rich historical tapestry of Civil War era Puerto Rico, this generational epic follows the misguided quest of Ana who wants to live the lives of her Conquistador ancestors. As a young girl growing up in Spain she read the diaries of her distant relations who came to the new world seeking their fortune. From that moment she will long for nothing so much as to go to Puerto Rico herself and experience the life they lead.

These dreams become a reality when she marries the son of a show more man who owns a Puerto Rican plantation. The family embarks on a voyage with the goal of rehabilitating the beleaguered plantation. This mission will test Ana's moral compass as she becomes a slave owner and comes to understand all the horror and evil implicit in this practice. Despite what she sees, she does not relent but ruthlessly pursues her dreams even at the expense of her child.

This is a complex story with a simultaneously unsympathetic but admirable protagonist. Ana is repelled by the evil that is slavery, but determined to use it in her ambitious plans to fashion the life that she wants for herself. The setting is rich and the characters are drawn with exquisite detail. show less

Audiobook read by the author
4****

Ana Cubillas is the only child of wealthy, aristocratic Spaniards. Raised to be a proper young lady, she chafes against the restrictions of her position in society. In her grandfather’s library she finds diaries of an ancestor who traveled to Puerto Rico with Ponce de Leon, and she is convinced her destiny lies on that remote island. When she meets the handsome twin brothers Ramon and Inocente Argoso, she finds a way to get there. Ana marries Ramon, and in show more 1844 they travel to the remote sugar plantation the brothers have inherited on the island.

This is a sweeping historic epic romance and adventure, focused on one strong woman who refused to give up her dreams. She endures unrelenting heat, disease, isolation and relatively primitive facilities. She finds that while expectations are that she be “the lady” of the hacienda, her husband and his brother are not suited to the hard work required to make Los Gemelos the success she envisioned, so she sets to work – pushing, cajoling, pleading and working to make her dream come true. She perseveres despite business setbacks, hurricanes and personal losses. She is not always a likeable person; she can be tactless, single-minded, demanding and stubborn. She can also be loving, kind and generous.

The novel focuses on the years from 1843 to 1865, though we get a little of Ana’s childhood to help define her character. The island’s history is a very important part of Ana’s story. The economic and political challenges of the time period – slavery, class structure, allegiance to a distant king, etc – are explored and examined with a critical eye.

I liked that Santiago took time to flesh out some of the minor characters, particularly several of the slaves or free blacks on the plantation or in nearby villages. I loved Sina Damita, Nena la Lavandera, Conciencia and Flora. My heart broke to hear the story of Jose (the carpenter), a man who endured with dignity and grace.

Santiago writes vividly about the island itself. I spent a couple of months in San Juan back in the mid-1960s. One weekend we drove across the mountains to Ponce – about 65 miles as the crow flies, but about 3 hours on the road (no interstate highway at that time) through the rainforest of the interior. Santiago’s descriptions are so colorful, that even if I had never been there, I could have easily pictured the setting.

At the story’s end, Ana is only 39 years old. And while I was completely satisfied with the book, I was sorry to see it end. I hope Santiago is planning a sequel.

There are few authors who can really do justice to the work when reading the audio version of their own books. Santiago was marvelous. Her passion for the story – for Ana and the other characters – comes through in her performance. show less