Kimberly Rae Miller

Fascinating memoir of a woman who grew up in a hoarding household. Having pack-rat tendencies myself I was intrigued, horrified and vindicated about my own stacks and piles in comparison. This is full-blown cable TV style hoarding -- including rats, fleas, and whole rooms that couldn't be entered. How Kimberly manages to have a "normal" life for herself (only -- the parents were a lost cause)and become a successful person is an interesting story. However it did have some James Frey moments show more for me and I hope her fact checkers were more diligent. For example, in jr. high/high school, when getting rides home she would have people drop her 4 doors away so it wasn't her own run-down shuttered house she was entering. This was in the 90s -- really? As a parent that doesn't seem believeable to me. There are other instances that I questioned too -- neglect and sneakiness that might have been do-able in the 70s and 80s when parenting wasn't a full-time occupation. However, kudos to her for pulling herself out of the morass, literally, and maintaining a loving relationship with 2 very flawed parents. It made me clean out a few closets after reading!! show less

This book about growing up with and dealing with hoarding parents in your adult life, was an interesting read. While there are (of course) some descriptions of the state of their houses and apartments, the focus is not on the hoarding, but the people behind it. I liked it a lot for that reason, that we get to know the people behind the hoarding instead of it just being humiliation porn for non-hoarders to laugh at.

Kimberly Rae Miller grew up in almost unimaginable squalor, complete with rats, fleas, and unusable kitchens and bathrooms. The author's parents couldn't help themselves; their homes were overrun with her hoarder father's "papers" and junk and her depressed mother's unnecessary, often unopened online purchases. It's a sad story--it's clear that Miller had to take the role of "parent" to her own parents from a young age--but it is leavened with humor in places and has a happy ending. Miller show more is remarkably free of bitterness and it is clear that she loves her mom and dad despite their issues.

One nagging question remains, however: how did the family cope with the economic burdens of their lifestyle, which involved eating out every night because the kitchen was inaccessible and unsanitary, and discarding dirty clothes and buying new ones rather than doing laundry? show less

Author Kimberly Rae Miller was raised by two loving parents, one of whom is a hoarder, and the other who has, at times, been a compulsive shopper. This memoir tells Ms. Miller’s story through vivid anecdotes that really bring the reader as much into her world as possible, without dwelling so much on the details that shows like ‘Hoarders’ love to emphasize (cat carcasses, anyone?). Yes, she is clear on what she means by hoarding, and yes, sometimes the descriptions are enough to make show more one maybe not want to eat during those paragraphs, but in reality Ms. Miller is telling a very thoughtful story about the complicated but devoted relationship she maintains with her parents.

Ms. Miller was a shy child who tried to keep the reality of her father’s hoarding from the rest of the world. She began acting as a way to take on another personality in the hopes of figuring out how she could navigate the world. She shares stories of the time child protective services came, not because of the hoarding, but because of a lie she told, and the terror her parents felt because they knew she’d be taken away if CPS saw their home. She talks about the multiple surgeries her mother had, and how after each one the family faced more challenges. She talks about her nightmares and her need for her own place that is clean and under her control.

I really enjoyed this book. I think Ms. Miller’s writing style was vivid enough to create a mental picture in the reader’s mind without resorting to the type of sensationalism that a lesser editor might demand. She was allowed to tell her story, which is largely shaped by her experience with her parents and the hoarding, yes, but that isn’t everything about her. Ultimately I found this book to be about family, and how people do the best they can with what they have. After reading this book I find myself feeling affection towards Ms. Miller’s parents, and admiration for Ms. Miller’s ability to share her story in such a gracious way. show less