Dan Shapiro

I enjoyed reading this book about a young obstetrician devastated by a mistake and the psychologist who treated her. How can she continue to live in the knowledge that her actions harmed a baby? Can she ever practise medicine again? Her therapist has baggage of his own, having survived cancer, and having suffered from medical negligence. His initial lack of empathy prevents him from fully supporting his patient, leading both to the brink of disaster.

Dan Shapiro is a clinical psychologist who counsels couples dealing with serious illness. He is also a cancer survivor himself, and is married to a breast cancer survivor. His own experience as a survivor shows especially in his understanding of how hard it can be for the patient to surrender control to the caregiver, and what this can mean in an intimate relationship.

And in Health is organized according to the stages of cancer diagnosis and treatment. Shapiro begins with things couples need show more to know immediately, such as when to do research and where, continuing through to the difficult long-term conversations couples will have about their sex lives, and issues related to death and dying. He encourages both partners to express their emotions and listen to each other, and offers exercises to build the relationship skills couples need to cope with their cancers.

I particularly liked the way Shapiro addresses each spouse in turn: He counsels the patient, “multiply your surgeon’s estimate of your recovery time by three and ask a nurse what’s really going to happen.” And to the caregiver, he writes, “spouses may need to learn to advocate for their partner.” He also advises both partners: “if either of you develops depression, get it treated!”

And in Health is extensively cited. Check the references at the end for the research behind the narrative.

Reviewed by Mira Geffner, Bay Area Cancer Connections
http://bcconnections.org/caregivers/bookreview_andinhealth/ show less

This gave me the same kind of satisfaction as marathon-watching Scrubs: medicine isn't perfect, but people are doing their best.

Although I enjoyed the problems brought up in her thinking journey about her life, I found her too self centered and almost whiny. It must have been hard being raised Jewish yet not resembling the majority. She seemed to resent her parents for withholding a secret. Did she really want her parents to say because of your coloring, you are not all us. Like many parents of adopted children they probably felt better not telling. After her father died, I am not sure there was that good of a show more relationship with her mother that she could be told then. I felt for her being raised that Jewish ways are the only acceptable way. The gene father was extremely wonderful in accepting and agreeing to meet a writer. He would have been terrified how many more kids existed. show less