Real Life™ conversations about books

Me: Oh, I took The Book Thief from your room.

Daughter: Oh, I really loved that book.

Me: It's not too dark, is it?

Daughter: (spoken with utter disbelief) It's narrated by Death, and it takes place in Nazi Germany.

Me: Oh...

Me (whining to almost everyone): I'll never forgive Lois Bujold for not using the Dendarii Mercenaries more.

Me now: plotting a NaNoWriMo novel creating my own damn Mercenaries.

Maybe Ivan will cross paths with the mercenaries.

#3 Gods I'd love that to happen.

Me: Boyfriend, you should read If I Stay because I loved it.

Boyfriend: OK.

Me: YAY!

Boyfriend: (in the middle of the book) *snort* Debbie Harry was NOT the toughest rock chick. Joan Jett MAYBE. And no one with any cred would mention Courtney Love.

I just mentioned mine in my reading thread, with OH on our road trip. Love the idea of this thread.

Me to husband: I thought you actually liked reading when we first met. You used to go on about wanting a library.

Husband: I do. And now I have one (ie, my books). And if I ever want to read any, I can.

Me: ...

Me: Are you done with A Dance with Dragons yet?
Husband: Not yet.
---
Me: Are you done with A Dance with Dragons yet?
Husband: Not yet.
---
Me: Are you done with A Dance with Dragons yet?
Husband: Not yet.
---
Me: Are you done with A Dance with Dragons yet?
Husband: Not yet.
---
Me: Are you done with A Dance with Dragons yet?
Husband: Not yet.
---

Hubby: You got books in the mail. That's weird.

Me: Yeah, I know. I was reduced to buying dead-tree editions because they weren't available as ebooks.

Hubby: Which ones are you getting rid of to make room for these?

Me: sigh.

#9 - Ha! That used to be a common exchange of words at my home. Often the packages are too large for the postman to deliver. Then we get a "you have a package to fetch" note, on paper.
Sometimes husband was home to see that note before I could snatch it and that was when he commented.

Now they note you by texting you so now I can go get the package, break it open and hide the new book/s in the stacks before he ever knew anything was happening.

The things you do to hide your addiction, no? ;-)

Now something more recent -

Husband, at supermarket: Oh, Keith Richard's biography in Swedish translation, and it is cheap! *picks it up and puts it in the shopping cart*

Me: Are you sure you're gonna read it?
*I flip through the pages eyeing extremely small and tight print, showing it to him*

Husband: Of course!

Me: OK.
*puts book in cart, because I really want him to read more*

...

Husband, at home, unpacking the foodstuffs etc: Oh WOW, the print is REALLY SMALL I'll NEVER read this without a microscope!!!

Me: D'uh.

But as long as he insists on getting books that he doesn't read I can continue get books that gets read, right? ;-)

Busifer, buy him a really cool Sherlock Holmes magnifying lens. I have one which was my grandfather's and my husband uses it all the time. Me too. :) We feel very grand while doing so.

Yes! I use the magnifying lens which came with my Oxford Dictionary (four pages reproduced on one) all the time! I love it.

The other night:

Me: I'm reading this amazing book (The Art of the Short Story) and I read a story that had a profound impact on me. (Goes on to detail Profound Impact). I don't think you would have heard of the author of the story though.

Husband: I might have, given the crap I was made to read at high school.

Me: Are you saying that the story I read, the Profound Impact story, is crap?

Husband: /flounder, back pedal

Me: ...

#10 I laughed out loud at the stuff that goes on in your house when new books arrive, Busifer! You could have been a fly on the wall in my home too! i've even been known to sleep downstairs on the sofa when I'm expecting a big parcel of books the next morning so that I'll be on the spot to catch them before my other half gets to see the box. You can only pretend for so long that they're set uni books;-)

Many years ago . . .

Husband: Are you mad at me?

Me: Not at all.

Husband: Are you sure I haven't done something to piss you off?

Me: Not that I can think of.

Husband: Well, if you aren't pissed at me, why haven't you talked to me all day? Why have you been holed up in the bedroom?

Me: David, what came in the mail today?

Husband: Junk mail, bills, and a package for you, why?

Me: The package was a book, David, and what do I do when I get a new book?

Husband (smiling really big): Okay, so you really aren't mad at me! Whew! Is it a good book?

Me: Think back over this conversation, and see if you can figure that out. I'll be in the bedroom, sweetie.

Awwwwwwww.

Friend on the bus glancing at my reading material: I can't believe you're reading an 800 page book!

Me: Actually, I'm reading a 1000 page book, I'm on page 804.

Friend: *silent stare with eyebrows raised*

Me: (happily) I'm almost done with it!

Last Friday, we had some time to kill before meeting friends for dinner....Books a Million is RIGHT THERE! So we go in (ok, I go in, and he follows). I make a beeline for the juvenile section to see what's new that I might want to get for the library this fall. He looks for the bathroom.

He finally joins me.

Me: The Very Hungry Caterpillar! It's my favorite Eric Carle book. Although I do really like The Very Busy Spider. Oh look, The Very Noisy Cricket. Listen! (Demonstrate how The Very Noisy Cricket works.

Me: Oh look! Goodnight Moon. That was Jeff's favorite book. I have to buy a copy for Charlotte when she's older.

Me: Look! It's a Very Hungry Caterpillar puppet! Watch, It turns into a butterfly!

Me: Look at all the Fancy Nancy books.

(Moving on to novels)

Me: Look! They've got new cover art for The Secret Garden I read that to Ashley, and we went to see the Broadway production.

Me: Look! That's The Ranger's Apprentice series. I bought the first three volumes for my school last year. I'll buy more if they become popular.

Me: Gregor the Overlander. That series was really popular at my last school. Can't seem to get my kids interested in it here.

Me: Oh look! That book is on the Bluebonnet list. And so is that one. I think I need to get that one. They need to put all the Bluebonnet books together.

Me: Look at these Diary of a Wimpy Kid action figures! Oh, I need one of these!

Me: A Wrinkle in Time! I loved this book when I was a kid. You know, she's a theologian, and it's like reading an entirely different book when you read it as an adult.

Me: Did you ever read My Side of the Mountain? I loved this when I was a kid. It's about a boy who runs away from home to go live in the woods, and he trains a falcon. I don't know why I liked it; I would never in a million years have run away from home and lived in the woods.

Me: Aw, look! It's a stuffed Corduroy! And a stuffed Biscuit! And a stuffed Curious George. Except I already have a stuffed Curious George. And two Madelines. And a Berenstain Bear, and Arthur.

Him: We need to go meet Larry and Judy for dinner.

Me: It's been so nice discussing children's literature with you.

This, btw, is the condensed version. It actually went on for about 20 minutes. :)

lol I love these IRL conversations. My offering is nowhere near as great, but here it is:

Me: I just love this graphic novel series (Sandman series)

Sister: Aren't you a little old to be reading comic books?

Me: These aren't comic books!

Sister: Um, they have pictures and little balloons with words in them coming out of the people's mouths. They are comic books.

Me: Well, they are much deeper than kids' comics and don't have a lot of "Pows!" and "Bams!" in them. Here, read this, you'll see.

Sister: No thanks. I don't read comic books.

Me: They are not comic books!

Sister: ...

I overheard the following in the children's library. It was in Danish, but I have translated it.

A little boy with his father.
Boy in the sweetest voice: Here is book about butts. Will you read the butt book for me, dad?

a little later

Boy looking in a Shark Tale book: This shark is as fat as you dad....but you are stronger and can beat him

These all have me laughing!!!

#18 - Ahhh, yes. That conversation format is all too familiar. :oD

19 - Your sister and mine could get together and roll their eyes together. :) They don't know what they are missing, IMO, those are some of the best stories I've read in the last five years. And there are pictures! :)

#19/22 - I have got used to tell myself it's their loss. Luckily I grew up in a family that encouraged ANY kind of reading but growing up I had a friend whose mum threw out my friend's dad's comic book collection, arguing that comic books were for kids, not an adult man. And he just stood there and took it.
Never managed to figure that one out.

Me: What are you doing?!? How many times have I told you not to read when your hands are dirty or all sticky with food. You're going to ruin the book!

10 yo son: Mom, it's my book. I can treat it any way I want. At least I'm reading, right?

Me, mouth hanging open, no sound coming out.
Me, snaps mouth shut and walks away muttering to self.

I love these. Someone should collect them in a book, a la Sh*t My Dad Says.

*partner* your being very quiet tonight

me:....

partner: have you heard anything I have said?

me: *head still in book*

partner: I give up *goes out comes back several hours later*

Me: * in book*

partner: I'm back sorry I'm late

*me looks up* oh did you go somewhere?

I've just remembered a conversation I had with my daughter, then about 5.

Me: I'll still read to you when you can read to yourself, however old you are, as long as you want me to.

Daughter: Even when I'm as old as Grannie?

As Grannie (her great-grandmother) was then 95, I had a vision of me, aged 125, sitting there with a 95-year-old on my lap, reading to her!

Forever! Similarly, although not reading related, my 5 year old great nephew yelled "love you forever" at my as I drove away from their house yesterday. I just hope the Universe agrees with him! As they say, "from his mouth to God's ear".

Just now:

My hubby to one of our dogs: Don't sit there hoping for breakfast, Baylee. She'll never feed you. You'll starve if you hope she'll look up.

Me: nose in book.

Me: Come on, you should really read the Dragonriders of Pern books.

Friend: No, I'm not going to read anything with dragons in it.

Me: Why (another friend) read it.

Friend: No, you have a bad addiction, and I'm not going to let it grow any stronger.

Me: The author is Irish.

Friend: I hate Irish people.

Me: But you're like, half Irish.

Friend: I know.

This conversation happened at least two more times, and it just recently happend with Eon with very slight different words.

The only person I know IRL who reads books is my Mom and she only reads that self help crap.

*sad face to faceplam to Japan Air to Stalefish to Indy Nosebone to Double McTwist 1260 for the GOLD*

*sad face to faceplam to Japan Air to Stalefish to Indy Nosebone to Double McTwist 1260 for the GOLD*

LOL

My family doesn't really read either, though thankfully my brother has started a bit. . . maybe 2-5 a year now. Anyway, because of this, I don't usually read in any of the family areas. One day I was home alone, and went to read on the sofa. At some point everyone came home, this is what happened.

Me: *read, read, read*

Stepdad: What are you doing?

Me: Reading.

2 minutes later. . .

Stepdad: What are you doing?

Me: Still reading. Go away.

Stepdad: Why? Go do the dishes or something. (He proceeds to his PS3 for Call of Duty number whaterver)

Me: I like it. Go away.

PS3: Loud bullets, a-rata-tat-tat, explosm, Alpha! Alpha! etc,etc

Mom: (walking to computer room across from sofa) You're gonna fall asleep if you keep reading there.

Me: *sigh* No I won't.

Mom: Yes you are. Are you free such'n'such day?

Me: I won't. Maybe? Let me read.

Mom: Can you find out? I'm going downtown to meet a friend but I don't want to park the SUV.

Me: So you want me to drop you off because you don't like to parallel park?

Mom: Yes.

Me: I don't know if I'm free. I'll look later. Let.Me.Read.

About 10 minutes later of herp-a-derp reading through excessive bullet noises and happy music from mom's match-3 game. . .

Brother: Hey, do you have such'n'such movie?

Me: Yes. *continue reading while brother stares*

Brother: Can I borrow it?

Me: Why are you asking? Just go take it like usual. *spastic hand movement to make him leave

Brother: Okay, okay. Sheesh.

Me: (thinking to self) okay, everyone has bothered me. Past the storm. Will get to read in peace *happy sigh

5 minutes later

Stepdad: What are you doing?

Me: *in mild tantrum mode* READING! Same as 15 minutes ago! In which I've only gotten through 10 pages because ya'll are rude! *walks up stairs in a huff remembering why reading downstairs is a no-no

---Oh, that sofa thing and sleeping. . . It was my friend's. We nick-named it The Trap. It has the uncanny ability to make people sleep or get sleepy. He couldn't keep it. I adopted it. It is the most comfy sofa evar and I don't get to read in it as much as I would like because of the above situation that repeats itself all.the.time.

Setting: Many years ago....

Husband: Do you have to read all the time?

Me: UH....(deer in the headlight look - Do I dare say yes?)

Many years later: He doesn't even ask. He "gets" it now.

My husband walks through the livingroom all the time, yammering about weather, politics, economy, life's little annoyances, then he mutters to himself, "I know, your Reading A Book."

The video of that name by Julian Smith has really helped in our household.

Many, many years ago, in a marriage long since disolved:

Husband: Do you know how much money we could save if you'd quit buying those damned books every few weeks?

Me: Do you know how much money we could save if you'd quit buying a damned case of beer every day?

>all of the above LOL

Kind of reminds me of when I was married. I would be sitting on the couch reading (of course), and I'd hear someone talking in the background, sort of like white noise, and I'd keep on reading and then my hubby (at the time) would tap me on the shoulder and say, "Did you hear a thing I said?" I would look blank and say, "Were you talking to me?"

He'd get mad and say various unpleasant things, and I would reply, "Well, I thought you were talking to the cat (or dog, or to someone on the phone). Next time, if you want me to listen to you, before you say anything, say my name."

This happened often, and do you think he could ever be bothered to say my name first? Not a chance. lol I think he just liked to get upset. (Did I mention we are no longer married?)

I've enjoyed this thread so much.

>12 maggie1944: Me, too! I use the Oxford Dictionary magnifying glass all the time, particularly to read labels and directions too small for my older eyes.

Both my parents were readers so I'm thinking it must have been my nearest sister, who wasn't, who usually said something like:

"Why don't you get your nose out of that book and go outside and play?"

Me: "Uh-huh." (Not looking up or moving a muscle other than my eyes moving through text.)

When I was young (between the ages of 12 and 16) I would take my book outside, climb the tree at the end of the driveway, prop myself up in the branches, and read, read, read . . .

Mother, shouting out the back door: Donna!?
Me, reading, reading, reading . . .

Ten minutes later.
Mother, shouting out the back door: Donna!? Donna Faye!? It's time to come in!
Me, reading, reading, reading . . .

Ten minutes later.
Mother, shouting out the back door: Donna!? Donna Faye!? Get in here right now!
Me, reading, reading, reading . . .

Five minutes later.
Mother, shouting out the back door: Donna Faye Lastname, get your butt in here right now!?
Me, marking place in book, and waiting for Mother to leave so I can climb out of the tree without her seeing me.

Two minutes later, after I'm out of the tree, and have put my book in my bedroom.
Me, brightly: Hi Mother.
Mother: Where have you been? Didn't you hear me calling you?
Me, lying through my teeth: Sorry Mother, I was down the street at so&so's house and didn't hear you.

Yes, I was a BAD child.

Hahaha I was a bad child too. And no wonder. My punishment for most sins was to be sent to my room. Which was heaven for a reader. I would be there for hours with no one interrupting me!

My punishment was either a spanking, or more chores. Bleh! My parents weren't readers, so didn't understand the lure of a book calling to me.

I've just realized what this thread reminds me of. has anybody else here seen Hoffnung's Constant Readers? Lots of drawings of readers, many of whom look like my mind-picture of @MrsLee.

*Googles images of Hoffnung's Constand Readers*


*scratches head?*

#38 My spot was on top of the woodshed. :) ribbet ;)

I was thinking of this one, actually

Me: Are you going to bed?
C: Yep.
Me: Are you finished that book?
C: Not yet.
Me: But it looks like you're at the end.
C: Yep, 5 pages to go.
Me: And you're not going to stay up and finish it?!
C: I'm tired.
Me: But you've only got 5 pages!!?
C: Well, I'm tired.
Me: But how can you leave a book with only 5 pages to go???
C: I'm TIRED. Good night.
Me: But ...

>43 hfglen: Yep, that makes perfect sense to me!

"Conversation" today by email with a friend:

She: Here's a contest you can enter to win a Kindle.

Me: Okay, I've entered. But if I win, who do I give the Kindle to? Because I'm happy with my Nook. (She gave me the Nook!)

She: If it's a color Kindle, you could just keep it.

Me, inside my head: That's the justification I was needing!

43 - :D I like it! But more often I read while stirring a pot on the stove.

#44 - I've actually done that with a Dresden book, no less! There comes a point where you keep waking up and trying to make sense of the story, when you realize it would be more enjoyable in the morning. NEVER would have done it 10 years ago, though.

>44 nhlsecord: That would KILL ME!!!!!! I would do one of the two things: I would forcer that person to read with physical contact, or if that doesn't work, read the final five pages for him, then go tell him what happened before he falls asleep. Did I mention that event would kill me? I guess I did, but not as forceful.

Katie- mom what are you doing?

me- katie sweetie, mommy is reading.

katie turns to vincent- mom is reading she has a book again.

vincent- mommy books funny!

(keep in mind katie is five and vincent is only 2 and half )

I'm with you, DragonFreak! I might have to read the pages again in the morning, but I could never leave them that close to the end.

Actually, now that I think about it, if it was a really good book it might be nice to read the pages again in the morning. I usually end up reading Mary Roberts Rinehart's last chapter twice anyway because she always fools me.

#44,47,49

I thought this so worthy I've started a new thread for it.

I don't have conversa\tions about books: I'm reading dammit, don't disturb me. "but ..."
Me: "sigh"

>49 nhlsecord: Better to get it out of your system and then redo it I guess.