Psst! I heard it from an impeckable source... (Rumours VIII)

Continuing the grand tradition of spreading wild unfounded rumours, not to mention misspelled topic headings, last seen here.

ejj1955 is eating the Devil's waffles.

Source: What are you eating?

Edited to change the special sauce.

Gosh ejj hope he doesn't get mad!

Apparently she's eating the Devil's plaid clothes today...
That ejj, always tempting the devil.

MrA provokes turtles to the point that they bite off chunks of ear.

it's a hobby.

It's a wonder you have any ear left if it has become a hobby?! Unless....you have trained a group of attack turtles that bite off chunks of other peoples ears on command.....hhhmmm.....

The correct response to that comment would be: HUH?

I think I'll hear large fluffy pink earmuffs whenever I'm here if thats the case!

Hmm - chomping turtles? Hence the spelling of impeccable in the title thread? Where is Freud when we need him?

The thread title would make more sense if it was chomping chickens.

Foggi and LG don't want to spoil us.
Luckily, I'm already spoiled.

Kerian is training to be a gladiator.

Source: Did You Know...

VetaTorres is on the move, hunting for Atlantis. No idea what she plans to do when she finds it.

Source: What Are You Reading

I suspect a sponge may be involved. A really, really, really big sponge.

#14 Does the sponge have sguare pants?

Kerian is worried about her computer's health. She almost spit vitamin water on it.

Source: New group book read

Actually, the worry was over my laptop's ability to pay attention. It was the focus vitamin water. This time.

Everyone's humor is missing.
Except Espy's.

Hey, wait a minute! Espy, did you take everybody's humor? *eyes him suspiciously*

Source: How many?!?!?

hand over the humors Espy! Right now Young man!

Never! I need this yellow bile, black bile, phlegm, and blood! Though maybe I'll give back some of the black bile. I have been feeling melancholic lately.

Hm. On second thought, you can keep them.

OK, I just want to say...ew.

I'm wondering if I even want to read my unread posts on the source of that rumor. ;)

did you say "source of that humor"? No, you really don't want to know that...

What? I'm just practicing a form or medicine that was followed for hundreds, possibly even thousands of years. I can't help how squicky it is...

Wherever mamzel lives, it is illegal to talk while on a cell phone. Boy, that must make it tough! I hope everyone there has a good texting plan!

source: weather thread

I never talk on my cell phone. I usually yell, "CAN YOU HEAR ME? WHAT?"

JP is apparently going deaf from yelling at her cell phone. The cell phone doesn't appreciate the yelling either.

Source: One post up

#26 creepy, that's what I do - closely followed by 'I don't like to talk on the mobile'.

MrA has either six arms or eight withered arms and a prehensile tail.

Source: New Derailments Thread

Is MrA related to spiderman??!!

I'm not sure. But oddly enough, he's now lost on a deserted island after taking a three hour tour, along with his wife, MsD (Luvvy)

You can't make these things up. At least, not without looking at other threads.

source: Planned/Happened

sooo he's a millionare spiderman....lol

#32: Talking about an oxymoron LOL (a rich spiderman)

who you callin' an ox-moron?

MsD works for a top-secret intelligence organisation. Three "sleeper" agents have been reactivated, and she has been assigned the cases. I'm expecting termination with extreme prejudice.

>Hush-hush source: The Plan (how appropriate!)

#25 foggi - I forget sometimes that there are other ways to get to work - my bad!
It took me until this morning, while I was crossing the same overpass from which I enjoyed that pretty morning, to remember where I had made the post to which you refer.

BTW - foggi is trying to learn crocheting from a video. (It's hard to let go of the yarn to hit the pause button.) Keep at it - it does get easier.

Espy is practicing squicky medicine.

i hope he gets it right quickly. I'm not donating any more squick.

Well, "quickly" is only two letters away from being "squicky," so chances are looking up.

MrA is talking to himself (again) instead of sanding the bathroom.

Hmm... Would this be considered a trumour?

I don't know. What do you think, MrA ?

Preposterous!

I concur.

I think the lot of you are talking out of your collective butts.

MrA is clearly talking to himself instead of cooking lunch, of course. Sanding, indeed.

*decides not to make a joke about sandwiches*

lols

Finnegan is a soccer star -- he scored two goals in his last game!

Source: What are you reading?

He scored 3 more last night!

Kirby learned how to book cross! She is enjoying bathtubs inside books and taking baths in them.

Source: What are you reading in November?

Oh, is that what that meant? I thought she liked giving her books baths. I figured it was a dog owner thing.

Maybe that.

What say you, kirby?

I'm so confused.

I think I was right, then. Kirby must have hit her head on the bathtub. Either that, or the books clobbered her something awful in protest of their nice, warm bath.

Kevintherealist is learning a lot about Islam (and Netiquette) over on Off Topic.

Rumour has it that HE's Rumour thread now carries rumours from across the LT universe!

To infinity... and beyond!

Ron has run out of energy. How sad. I guess that kills the rumour that he's the Energizer Bunny.

In other news, MrA is a Buzz Lightyear toy.

Can't believe I almost missed this one!
According to very reliable sources *coughcough MrA & K coughcough* Tim has a special staff he uses when he breaks into people's homes to destroy their books. This must mean that Tim is an evil wizard!

hmmm. that sounds like a death eater, but on the other hand the only book-destroying i can recall in the series was done by Harry. Most perplexing.

Depends of your definition of destroying I suppose: Madam Pince certainly would have told you that Snape had destroyed a book and remember Ron thought the used copy of Advanced Potion Making looked like someone had gotten sick on it, which I would consider destroyed...

...I'm a huge dork.

. . . and Hermione ripped a page out of a library book once. . . .

Oooo good one!

*I will not spend the rest of my day trying to think of more book destroying in HP....I will not spend the rest of my day...*

The Monster Books of Monsters, destroyed each other!

The invisible invisibility books may as well have been destroyed.

Back to rumors:

MrA and MsD mailed their cat to Bib.

source: GN/BN

not yet.

MsD and Suge are fighting over Eric.

MsD is starting a line of vamp-scented candles.

Source: MsDonna's profile page (stalking? moi?)

MrA gets by with a little help from his fiends.

Source: Song Speakers

that's right. Thanks, fiends!

Stick to minions MrA. They won't turn on you.

minions are sticky?

Well duh! Have you seen the condition of your average minion. It's not pretty.

Well really, jp. You have to wipe your minions down with a damp cloth every now and again, if you want to keep them in top condition.

I just did mine with a chamois. they look pretty nice now

Ginny flushed a book down the toilet!

Ginny attempted to flush a book down the toilet. It didn't actually harm the book at all. Also, PIANO!

Espy dropped a PIANO in the rumour thread.

I wonder if that would work on minions.

Why piano?

Espy dropped a piano on our minions? But..but..they were all the minions we had. *sniff*

I think Espy is seeing PIANOS that aren't really there.

Just because they're humongous, painted pink and brown, and in an improbable place does not mean they aren't there...

I see them too!

Inconceivable!

Espy and kirby have alike minds. They just may have alike brains, or share the same brain. Granted, we've all just been shared this vision and now we are all completely mad seeing this strange, peculiar, not-really-there piano. It's not really there. Right?

Why do I keep hearing "chopsticks" ?

Maybe the minions are dancing on the wires.

How does that compare to angels dancing on the head of a pin?

It's noisier.

CBLey has created a new snack. It's a watermelon on a blueberry bagel.

Source: what on earth are you eating?

That's better than the garlic and white chocolate combo that a lot of people on that thread are advocating.

ROFL!!!

You don't have the garlic with the white chocolate, you use it to protect yourself from the white chocolate. I can't believe I have to explain these things.

*puts garlic necklace around neck.*

I was imagining garlic cloves dipped in white chocolate

Visit the Gilroy Garlic Festival next summer and you will find them there!

Espy has zombie mice. I think they got that way from eating a rich dessert.

JP is going to fool Espy into thinking she's a cat!

Meow?

Lefty is on a roll.

The Plan vs. What happened

What kind of roll? White? Wheat? I need to know JP! I can't survive on these half-baked rumors!

I'll let you know when the opportunity...rises.

JP thinks she's a comedian

Mr A ate all the cookies... :(

Did you want your computer cookies, Espy? I'm sure he's sorry.

#98: I think, therefore I am. ;o)

Foggi sacked her own bedroom.

All the fun of pillaging from the comfort of your own home! I hope she got some cool stuff.

You should have blocked some of the cookies, espy.

JP thinks she can dance.

Kirby cast a spell on Harry and turned him into her dog!

No, no foggi. I THINK I think I can dance.

I think JP has turned into the Little Engine Who Could!

Hmmm...That would explain why I set up the Derailed Thoughts thread...

LOL

I think I think I can, I think I think I caaaAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!

Espy sells couches.

by the seashore.

K's copy of Harry Potter and Philosophy has erasable highlighters in it. No word on whether the book came that way or not.

tiegster thinks MrA is Dracula.

112 - Did K tap the book with a wand and whisper, "Mischief managed?"

Espy has a smurfy mouth.

source: misread thread

Espy and JP are locked in an epic, cutthroat Elf Points war.

Source: Elfster

I forgot! To think of all those secrets revealed! Thanks, mamzel. And the book came with the highlighters, of course. That's why my copy's cooler. ;)

Kerian figures she will pull all her hair out. Which sounds like it will be really painful, but she'll do anything for her relatives. :o)

Foggi's eggs have failed as devils. Foggi is very disappointed, and hopes this never happens again. Perhaps next time she should buy eviler eggs?

*shudders* I cannot imagine eggs more evil than the ones I had to work with today.

theexiledlibrarion is cloning Bib and will donate seven copies to the Alzheimer's unit. Apparently cloning is simple, but requires sowing. I assume that you can't clone the outfits.

source: what are doing right now?

Somehow I knew that would end up on this thread as soon as I read it on the other thread. Can I ask if the spelling of sowing/sewing was intentional? It's funny either way of course...

not intentional, no, but it's not a surprising mistake. I mean, i make lots of misteaks mistakes but i usually go back and fix them before i post (bless you, firefox spell checker). I missed "sowing" because "sewing" just always seems weird to me. I mean it really should be sowing, don't you think? Whenever i see "sewing" i mentally pronounce it "sue-ing", not "so-ing". It's just wrong, wrong, wrong. Stoopid non-phonetic english.

/rant.

can you plant and grow clothes? what if they're 100% cotton?

MrA has become so sew sow verbose! (see above)

All I have to say is...LOL

Kerian keeps a goldfish in her water bottle.

Source: What are you doing right now thread

remind me to never drink any water offered by Kerian....lol....yuck!

For PollyAnna . . .



;)

We love SmartWater! We leave the goldfish in the bottle though. :o)

Are they real goldfish???????????????

129- They really add to the flavor. ;)

But....but....are they real?????

Do you reeeally want to know?

I have never seen those before on the smartwater bottles and I love smart water too! I'll have to look close next time I'm at the grocery store! lol Thanks K!

You're welcome, PollyAnna!

LadyN, the answer will rest with Cat if you must know. I will just say this: No one may know so well as Cat may know. Clearly. In a water bottle.

*puzzled*.....*and slightly concerned for the fishies*...

I would like to apologize to LadyN for my daughter's behaviour. She has been told not to tease her friends. I think she's a little punchy on account of feeling behind in her knitting projects (she's not, she just feels that way.)

The fish is printed on the bottle, LadyN. But you can only see it when you look through the bottle.

Ooh! Clever!

Being a cat of course, Cat surely must have much interest in the goldfish. ;)

What I want to know is, does the water make you smart?

It's called "Smart Water" because they distill the water from brain fluid.

True story.

Wait, is that what they're doing in the Department of Mysteries?

JP has decided to stuff Japanese exchange students into the cage I'm trapped inside of in her back yard. This may be related to the Japanese Consulate calling Kasongo.

Source: Newest Train of Derailment

136 to 138- Sorry, LadyN. I would have told you they were rare sticker fish. Eventually. ;)

And I am behind on knitted items! I need Christmas postponed for another month. And four extra arms. That wouldn't be too much to ask for, would it? Would it?

140- It doesn't make you smart, it IS smart. It is the only sentient water known to man. We drink the water to keep it in check, so it doesn't get out of hand and take over the world. *nods seriously*

MrA pokes xmas with a stick while LG laughs at it.

ouch

Espy types in his sleep.

Source: What are you doing now?

Cat openly admits to having a prisoner. Is this Espy? It may be too soon to tell. She says the prisoners will be exchanged on Saturday. The question is now who else has a prisoner. Do I think it strange that HEers are giving the gift of prisoners for our gift exchange? Yes. May it be let on who else is in possession of a prisoner? We may see. Stay tuned in the chat room for more, this Saturday and this Saturday only, 5pm Eastern, 4pm Central, 2pm Pacific time...and all those other, er, times, and day, for that matter. (Thinking of Australia.)

Source: Gift Exchange Time!

9am Sunday! *yawns*

Cat can't be there until 5:45 MrA. So it's OK if you sleep a little late! ;o)

i'll have to turn off our furry alarm clock. He still doesn't get the concept of weekends.

148- We only have one hostage now. I'm thinking of writing a book about it. Would anyone here buy a book called: The Prisoner of Catcaban?

depends.........will it be in paperback?

Apparently, compski was kirby's elfster santa in our gift exchange. She gave kirby her 13th and 14th bottles of bleach. Better keep them away from your purple socks, kirby!

source: HE Holiday Party

Don't worry. They're in separate rooms.

MrA thinks that the misread thread is the rumours thread.

And what's wrong with sleeping on humongous scones, anyway? They're warm.

as long as theres no jam to make you all sticky

Oh, you mean i didn't misread that? You are all sleeping in brobdingnagian scones?

Beware the cream! Beware!

The trick is to change the scones every couple of days so they don't get stale. ;o)

Ejj has been shocking everyone, even herself. Must be all the static electricity in the air.

Midgets have harrassing Ms_Bella. She's going to try ignoring them in 2010.

Source: new years resolutions

MrA thinks I live in 19th-century Russia.

Source: January's reading thread

LadyN does improper exercise! Gasp! *swoons*

#163 - Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! *schnarf*

Polly was diagnosed with a sinus infection . . . by Doctor Who.

Source: what are you doing now thread

Doctor what?

Doctor I Don't Know...

Third base!

Who's on first?

what?

Second base.

Why?

Why What?

Left field and second base.

(Polly, click here if you're confused.)

I don't know

He's on third!
(nice off topic lol)

Back to rumors . . .

Chelsea lives on Morning Star Corndog Street.

source: what are you eating thread

lg's husband is psychic.

Source: new year's resolutions thread.

kirby has the attention span of a 2nd grader.

source: sarcastic answers

MrA wears candle hats. I wonder if the wax gets in his eyes?

Lefty is back in Wonderland. I wish I could go there too, but apparently groundhog holes don't work as well as rabbit holes.

#178: I do!

#179: You know, Finn has been peering into the dryer a lot lately. I think he knows it's a portal.

Our cats get all excited when the dryer door opens. Then they try to jump into the dryer (and often succeed!).
Just make sure he doesn't figure out how the portal works! ;)

I'll have to make sure he's not looking when I use it. He's a pretty smart pup. He can open the front door on his own if it's unlocked.

You need a door like ours, kirby. Our door sticks so badly, even I can't open the door when it's unlocked!

That's the back door, which Kirby opened a few years ago.

picolina is completely dead, but still able to post about it.

source: whatever the latest GN/BN thread is...

Maybe she's only mostly dead...

Not quite dead as a doornail. Which is really good! That's almost....alive and well. Maybe.

Bath and Body Works sells a new scent that can turn you into a vampire. Kirby has used it to great effect.

K, you might want to be careful. No telling if close contact is enough to cause transformation.

I thought my co-workers were smitten with it. I guess they were bitten from it.

*Checks skin for paleness and holds up translucent arm*

Huh. Not the best of tests. Oh, sun, where are you at 10:40pm?

lol!

Do you have a sudden craving for rare meats? Does garlic repel you? Are you frightened by a crucifix?

MrA is putting spots on dolphins.

Source: What are you doing right now?

Apparently it's a very difficult process, what with them being all slippery and everything.

LadyN is reading a liquid book. She can't even feel the pages turning. It must really flow.

of course she gets very wet

Hopefully that hasn't dampened her spirit

Ha ha ha.... :-)
I'm actually loving this book. I would definitely recommend The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. It's had me weeping a little just with the joy of reading it...

Then she IS damp!

:-D

Lefty and foggi do not recommend their cheap brothers. 8-S

Tsk tsk, Espy!

Indeed, not for any suitor. Er, suitess?

Suitcase, maybe? ;)

Espy dates suitcases.

#204: LOL!

*checks suitcase that Espy just carried into the house. A small label on the side reads "01/19/2010"*

#204 -- Sure enough! ;-)

!KIK!

I'm so confused right now.

I'm not. The mystery is solved.

You date suitcases, but just the kind that contain filled blood bags from blood banks. Why is this so? Because you have revealed in your desire to read the new Diana Wynne Jones book that you're actually a vampire. Who hopefully doesn't consider puppies desert! The suitcases that you date are simply your attempt to not feed directly from humans.

But...if you've changed your mind on that and are considering biting your sister...

*whispers to others* We need a foggi rescue mission, STAT!

Source: What are you reading in January?

By Jove, Kerian! I think you've solved this case!

Curses! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!

JP is trying to kill off vampire-Espy. She's planning to feed him stakes. Foggi, you should be safe now.

make sure the stakes are well done

LadyN works with zombies.

Source: GN/BN

#214 - You have no idea.... ;-)

Lefty doesn't recommend a cheap Brother. Sorry, espy.

Source: Attn: Crafters Please help me choose

Pollysmith is the daughter of a vicepresident!

Source: Famous people you have met

Um.......

People in california are not permitted to view snow until they turn 18.

Source: Kasongo.

Wow. Kind of scary. Isn't it in California that you don't get your permanent driver's license until 18? Or is that another state?

No, you get your permit at 15 1/2 or at least that was the case a few decades back. Then you could get your license at 16. I suppose in the past 40 years things could have changed.

151/2=75.5

That's a long wait for a permit.

Bib's boss makes her call herself.

source: Latest Breaking News

Was she home when she called herself?

And just exactly what did she call herself?

Whatever she called herself ,its not true, she's a very nice person

#220 kirby:
People can even get their drivers license before 16 here, if the only person they live with needs medical attention on a regular basis. Permits are usually given to people beginning at 15-in-a-half years old.

Cyclopes smilies have invaded the "Does anybody want to chat?" thread! 8-O

Run for your lives!

We haven't had nearly enough rumors, lately!

Hermes bags are MsD's kryptonite. I certainly hope that it's only these particular bags which affect her. Otherwise, I imagine she must need very large pockets in order to carry stuff when she goes out. If she goes out. All those bags, everywhere outside...

Perhaps we should design a bag-proof suit, to protect her?

Does that mean her rogues gallery would include "The Bag Lady" and "Supermarket Check-Out Boy"?

hmmm. I would think that the 1,000,000 bags inside would pose a problem.

And then there's the bag shops...

Everyone go out and get private insurance! JP says it's the very best there is and JP has never steered us wrong before!

In fact, you can send the money directly to me and I'll make sure I set you up with a good insurer.

Trust me! ;o)

*sad face*
R.I.P. Espeon (source Next Stop Non-Sequitor! Next Stop!)

I'm not dead yet! Just mostly dead.

"but I'm not dead yet!"
"You soon will be"
"But I'm not!"

Should I go through his clothes and look for loose change?

Lefty has finally started reading. It appears that El's success has spurred her on to finally get past her debilitating lack of literacy.

Source: What are you reading in March 2010?

LOL! And goodness am I ever glad I at last got started!

Chelsea is *gasp* eating cuties! The poor little cuties. She doesn't specify what cuties, but they sound pretty cute to be eaten. For shame, CBley!

Mr. Andrew is the Mad Hatter...or the rabbit...we are still not sure, but we are sure he comes from wonderland. :P

i'm the walrus dormouse... coo coo ka-choo.

kirbyowns is a poltergeist.

source: next stop non-sequential

Foggi eats short people in her salads.

Kerian is suspended. Not sure whether she is suspended from the ceiling or if she is in a state of suspended animation.

Lefty makes prom dresses for the X-Men!

Source: What are you doing...

I'm told Wolverine looks ravishing in pink chiffon.

LadyN has a bunch of crazy babies named "Herb" and they are potted.

Source: How does your garden grow in 2010?

Gosh, I hope she remembers to wear her earmuffs!

Har har har!!

Apolline is on a soccer team that strips if they lose. ;-0
Read about it on message 202.

Foggi is intending to purchase Florida. Clearly, she likes oranges.

Source: Living Healthy (through excessive citrus consumption)

Cool! If the deal goes through Foggi, I've got some beach front property to sell you here in AR. :D

First Florida, then Arkansas, then the world! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I think Foggi has turned into The Brain....from Pinky & The Brain....

Narf!

*best Pinky impression* Hey foggi, what are we going to do tonight?

Same thing we do every night, Pinky -- take over the world!

Compski has finished her practical demonkeeping. It wasn't as fun as she thought it would be. Those demons are a handful.

Darn demon kept the touchstone from working!

I suggest using a spray bottle filled with holy water. A spritz in the face is the only way to train your demon properly.