May 2010 happy / untappy / just plain worried thread

News ticker tonight: 11 killed in U.S.A. floods. No details.

Where? Are our USAnian Dragoneers safe? What other damage?

I believe the victims are all in Tennessee, around Nashville and other parts in the middle of the state.

I'm looking for a good map, will update if I can find one.

Here's a map from our National Weather Service - http://www.srh.noaa.gov/images/fxc/ohx/graphicast/image_full4.gif

Thank you, Fleela. Sounds like Dragoneers are mostly safe, thank goodness.

Yes. And you are a sweetheart for worrying, Hugh. :o)

How awful though but I'm glad our GDers are safe.

my wife won't let me obsess out loud, she says I'm scaring the kids... but I can't stop worrying about the oil spill in the gulf. I keep running across worst case scenarios that suggest that we may have seriously damaged the entire oceanic ecosystem... this worry is of course fueled by my post-apocalyptic reading habits.

I prescribe a little Wodehouse, kcs.

#6 - me too. I just finished The Rapture in time for an earthquake, a volcano and an oil spill and I'd quite like to spend all day hiding under the bed now with the book locked up in the wardrobe where it can't get me anymore.

#6 - Yes, I have been quietly ACK-ing up a storm about that as well. I am really trying NOT to say anything to upset my daughter who just returned from a week in New Orleans about 9 days ago, and can't stop talking about how she wants to live there someday. :o/

#6 Yes, that sounds horrendous too, with the possibility of enough oil to keep a small country going for months spilling out each day if those responsible don't get their act together soon.

you can add to all of the above my ferociously smothered worry about the bees dying off and what that could mean for us all...

we've had a small respite. the oil has backed off our local beaches for a bit, but we still expect it to wash ashore. Already we are finding dead sea turtles, and dead jellyfish have also washed ashore.

I am so worried, since they cannot seem to cap it. Our beautiful beaches...and all our wonderful wildlife...

For anyone interested, this is an excellent organization:

http://www.ibrrc.org/index.html

I'm right with you on the bees, Severn...very scary! It's hard at times like these to be hopeful about the future of our planet.

I too am trying desperately not to think worst-case scenarios, but it's hard sometimes when listening to the news. Oh, such devastation!!! And it's not just the bees, it's the frogs, and the bats, and the song birds...

Our poor, beautiful, blue planet :-(

The bees have disappeared?! *searches for Daleks*

They probably left with the dolphins.

*Please don't be offended darlings, it's just that the theme of the last few posts goes so well with HGG*

My siblings, who are scattered across the country, are always wanting to be included in my life. I had a feeling it was a mistake, but I invited one of my sisters to my blog.

I get a long e-mail about how I should cheer up, get over it, yadda-yadda. Great, just great. Now I'll probably get a call from my mother to make sure I'm okay, etc.

This is why I keep things to myself and don't share with them.

Unfortunately, they just don't understand me or the world I live in.

Read it, do I sound like I'm wallowing in self-pity?

No. You sound like you're looking for answers.

#17 - *offers hugs*

I don't understand why anybody thinks "cheer up and get over it" helps anybody come to terms with the pain and troubles of their lives and sadly it's often those closest to us who say it.

People pay a lot of money to talk things out with professionals and I suspect a lot of the time they wouldn't need to if someone at home was ready to listen instead.

#17 I am firmly convinced that the dumbest, stupidest, most irrelevant, most irritating ... (etc.) ... song title / lyric ever is the one that repeats too often 'Don't worry, be happy'. WTF?! Maybe the target person is like Old Sarge and has real worries! /rant

For the rest, what Mary and Jody said. Sarge, I may sit quietly in my corner like the tarbaby in the Uncle Remus stories of my yoot, but I'm thinking of you.

And they want to put an oil rig off the coast of Virginia. We are doomed.

With everything that's happened over the last few weeks...my students have been freaking out about 2012. My life is hell.

I'm so angry about the reply I received from my sister that I'm fighting the urge to just e-mail her back and tell her to forget it, delete it, and thanks for making me sorry I tried to include you in something creative I'm doing.

That "Don't worry, be happy" song? I've always hated that. It reminds me of gov't propaganda or corporate advertising, which are the same thing to me.

On the plus side, C.J. Cherryh's new book is out today in the bookstores. Yay!

Count me another hater of the "don't worry, be happy" song and philosophy. Trite and simplistic. And a horrid ear-worm, too. Ick.

Hugs all 'round - it's that kind of day, although if anyone was super-nice to me I'd probably burst into tears. I have bad sinus pain, probably due to the weather, didn't sleep all that well, and I can't stay home.

We're having a spring snowstorm. The additional soil moisture is a good thing but the wind and driving snow are more unpleasant than anything I experienced in the dead of winter, even though the actual temperature is not that bad. Hoping it eases off by the time I finish work.

with the experience of having four brothers, I can suggest that too often siblings just don't know what to say when faced with a brother or sister who is in need of some empathy and support. They know that they should say something, and that that something should be able to fix the problem... but unless your siblings are different than mine (and my wife's) then that something is all too often the wrong thing. Better to just to shut up and suggest that you'll be there if they need help. That's all.

On the subject of professional therapists vs. siblings/family, one major advantage the therapists have is that they didn't grow up with you - they can be MUCH more objective about your situation. I'm not sure my sisters could have helped me see that my ex was actually an abusive controlling guy and that it wasn't something crazy me was doing, but the therapist was a BIG help with that.

I really hate the "if you smile at the world the world will smile at you" attitude. Especially the part implying that troubles are always of your own making because that's so NOT true.

I'm kind of happy because we're finally price-marking the stuff to be sold on the next convenient car-booth sale/flea market.

I'm unhappy with the attitude of our landlady but will deal with that tomorrow. How can a mirror over the basin (in the bathroom) ever be viewed as a raise in standard?
I can see how a heated towel rack can be, we didn't have one prior to the renovation, but a d*** MIRROR?!?!?!
Note also that we've saved her money (approx. US$1.100) by using the same old bathtub instead of taking a new one, which we were offered (NOT a raise in standard). But the old one was in mint condition, and we rather the money was spent on something else (like a heated towel rack).

Major happy: The book I've been working on for the past how-many-years went to the printers today. Should be published in about six weeks.

#27 - well done for that, you deserve to feel happy. That's quite an achievement.

Sarge - in my experience emailing people back with what is really on your mind causes unnecessary pain and drama; it doesn't sound like you need either right now. In the past, I have worked hard to take a charitable view of relations who react this way by reminding myself that they: a) don't have the neccessary experience to empathize, b) have mental health problems/social communication deficits, or c) are dealing with their own issues. And then I ignore them until I feel that I can be civil again.

Your sister's reaction may also be partly due to the medium used for communication. Suffering can sound self-indulgent when it is not accompanied by facial expression, body language, and vocal-emotional cues.

I agree with the general consensus that "don't worry, be happy" thing is annoying. My personal version of it is "don't worry, be busy." During times of stress, I clean, organize, and engage in "mindless" physical activities that let my mind drift. Never actually found talking to be very helpful, but my situation was somewhat unusual and people didn't relate well. Adopting a dog has also been useful. I adopted one that was more broken than I was, and we got better together.

I have no idea if this is helpful, but it is well intentioned. I don't post a lot, but I've been worried by your posts.

Um...new Cherryh book? wonder how I missed that...

#27 Congratulations! Six weeks sounds like a quick turn-around. Do we get details?

#30 Six weeks is standard for printing. We've already been through the editing, typesetting and proofreading. It's a biographical dictionary of southern African botanists, under the title 'Botanical Exploration of southern Africa'. Over 3000 thumbnail biographies, many of them detailing individuals who would be bizarre even by the standards of the GD.

Holy moly! Is this your work alone or are you part of an editoral team?

We have bizarre standards?

We have standards?

I'm half of an editorial team. We don't have bizarre standards, but then we don't trundle around the country in an oxwagon with our grand piano as part of our luggage (that was Katherine Saunders). Nor is the GD home to a box containing the security system, which consists of three semi-tame SPITTING COBRAS (like Wilhelm Gueinzius had) ... wait a minute, maybe we do do that.

Congrats on the book!
It sounds like a huge but fun effort.

congrats on the book... maybe I'm a bit weird but it actually sounds pretty interesting.

Many thanks, all!

OS, adding to what psocoptera said, often family members have a need to bolster their own perspectives of how their family life "is." Maybe to your sister, you are the strong one that she leans upon; if you broke, where would she be then? I don't know anything about your family, but I read the blog and thought it sounded like a reasonable person writing about their life. Some challenges, yes; but nothing outrageous, shaming or even particularly problematic. Just middle-aged life with its little (and bigger) losses. In fact, I think you sound pretty courageous in the calm way you're looking for answers.

People will do a lot to continue their personal "story" of how things are in their family and world. An extreme example I heard recently: when police intervene in a domestic disturbance between father and son, it is often the son who is carted off to jail ("he's incorrigible!") even though it was the father who began the beating.

Anyway. Back to your family . . . When something comes along and challenges that personal reality, people often react with anxiety and denial, and then a big dose of "You're the problem . . . Fix it!" This is your reality. While I heartily concur in your decision to find whatever help you need in this transition from active military to veteran's life, you are not responsible for conforming to her image of you. If all this is new to your family, they will need time to catch up . . . but you don't need to stand still while they do so.

Another comment on #29, psocoptera - "Adopting a dog has also been useful" After my ex left, my dog and cats were part of what kept me (more or less) sane. Funny thing is, I never wanted a dog, it was my ex's idea, and I ran out of excuses after we got a house and got the yard fenced. X never did much with her, so I started walking her, etc. Before I knew it, she was my dog. After she died (cancer, and years later) I only lasted a few months before looking for another. Talking to a therapist was also a good thing - I would certainly recommend it.

We are having more major cutbacks at work, my job is OK for now, but it seems like "they" are making it harder all the time for me to do what I feel is a good job. Thank goodness for Hamish, who makes me get out every day to walk or ski, and Angus, who sleeps on my feet, and brings me dead (and not-so-dead) things. Still need a kitten to replace Badger, who I lost to cancer in January, but haven't found one yet.

#40 - what type of dogs are Hamish and Angus?

*crosses fingers and waits*

#27 -Did the traps work? Did I miss the end of the story?

OldSarge - Here's my two cents. I posted this entry in my blog that was probably a mistake, rather down and wondering what on earth I needed to do differently. I got some sweet comments from friends.

Then I got a call from my mom. She started talking about what a great mom I was, and what an awesome job I was doing, blah blah, and then seriously, within 5 minutes she was telling me that I needed to quit feeding my kids so much junk because I was making them fat and they would all get diabetes.

Thanks, Mom. That was really helpful. I feel great about myself now.

I know she realized what she had done - after the words were out of her mouth, and the damage was done. So she was all upset when I cut her off and hung up - more nicely than I felt like, but still, it was obvious that I was mad too.

And I completely agree with BethyB that having a therapist can be crucial. Family members have so much baggage and so many memories that they think they know what to say, but really, they haven't been trained in psychology. They need to learn what to say - "I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now. I think you're great and I am here for you whenever you need it." And it's so hard for most people to admit that they screwed up and to just apologize without defending themselves or immediately blaming you. "I'm sorry - BUT..." is NOT an apology.

Hugs for OldSarge and a high five to hfglen.

We are hanging in here, trying not to panic at the jobless situation, but sometimes it is easier to be positive than others. I was really down last night, but I'm a little better now.

#41 - Hamish is a mix - very cute, looks a bit like a blonde, miniature (about 20 kg or 45 lbs) shepherd, Angus is a cat - black with very green eyes and a bit of white on his belly (which you only see when he rolls over to be scratched).

Happy: I went to my lupus doctor today and he is sending me to a pain clinic. And he says NO wheelchair. Whoo hoo! He is consulting with the pain clinic to give me ways to deal and manage the extreme pain I am experiencing. I am so happy that it doesn't feel as hopeless as it did last week!

Another Happy: I got 40 minutes in on the Wii Fit today. I think this is really going to work for me. :)

(Edit done because of typo...I hate it when I do that.)

Thank you all for the support and reality check on my writing/blog.

Good thoughts and prayers to all here for better days.

#35 - I want a Grand Piano in an Oxwagon!

Please excuse the whine, but I haven't quite got it out of my system. I was misunderstood and jumped on by my boss yesterday and it annoys me. Today I found out I have a TON of copies to make quickly to get to the DA for my son's claim and that makes me feel overwhelmed. Add to those two the wrong time of month when I'm all emotional anyway and you will know I'm a mess today. It all seems like such small stuff, but I'm not soaring with any eagles today.

#47 Just don't get sucked into any jet engines! *hugs MrsLee*

We are still dealing with the issues surrounding my oldest right now though things have calmed down a bit. (Well, that just means that there was no drama yesterday. The situation is still not fixed.) We have been to see the therapist 4 times since last Tuesday which has helped tremendously. At this point, the therapist seems to be more worried about me than my son which I guess is a good thing. I am having great difficulty dealing with the fact that I cannot "fix" this and not torturing myself by creating different bad scenarios in my head constantly. I have not been sleeping nor eating and actually can feel myself becoming physically ill because of this. I hope that I can get a handle on myself soon before I collapse with exhaustion.

#42 I think so. Must upload some pictures to flickr so I can post them here over the weekend.

(For those who weren't following the story: I spent most of last week in the bush with a group of mycologists, looking for a beastie called Phytophthora -- try saying that after a couple of PGGBs! The European species is the bug that caused the blight that caused the Irish potato famine; we have an unspecified number of unknown species in South Africa, that the guys were looking for. (I have to say it like that -- the best statistics we have suggest that about 95% of South African fungi are unknown to science.)

Anyhoo, collecting something you can't see is an exciting operation, and they took a gazillion water samples to collect spores. They filtered half of each sample and put the filter papers into nutrient media to grow what they could, and put traps (essentially DIY teabags baited with azalea leaves) in the other half in the hopes of catching more. Obviously nothing was growing yet as of when we went our various ways on Friday morning, but I fully expect to participate in the naming of several new species arising from this outing.

Edited 'cuz I cna't spel!

#43 Thank you, CMB!

*many supportive hugs to all of you that need them, and happy smiles for those who are proud of an accomplishment*

I am quite preoccupied this morning, thinking about my possible new home. I made an offer which was accepted by the owners and now we all have to wait until the banks which hold the liens on the house agree to the deal. Rumors are that the banks can take forever to decide. Too many "upside down" deals I expect. This home is greatly discounted down from the amount of money that had been loaned.

I also have to do my part with getting together all sorts of documentation that I actually do have legit income and can handle the mortgage. Ah...and thinking about the necessity of decluttering and paring down my household belongings. Such fun.

But the good side is that even if the house "falls through" the decluttering and paring down will be to the good.

Congrats! I know you've been thinking about this for a bit, and I'm glad you've found something!

First appt with the therapist/counselor/doc this afternoon. It's a start.

Hugs to all who need them.

Good for you, Maggie! We're getting our house ready to put on the market and have begun the decluttering process. Unfortunately this means packing up large numbers of books and making my sewing room presentable. The upside is I've found quite a few lost items!

bgirl - glad you found a therapist you can talk to. Hang in there! It stinks when you 'can't fix it.' Moms are supposed to fix things, right? Been there!

And good luck, OldSarge!

Has anyone heard from Severn, Will, any other Dragoneer in the New Zealand/Australia area?

I read that there was an earthquake in that region recently. Can't find that news article now.

I hope they're OK. :S

*holding thumbs*

Gosh, Delirium, remember that Australia's a bit bigger than CR. :P

The earthquake was a good 4000km away from all of us. It did some damage to a hotel in a regional centre (population ~30,000), but nothing spectacular. My cousin (who lives nearby) says it gave them something to talk about, which was something new and different.

My session with the counselor/therapist went well. It lasted almost two hours and I'll be going weekly. She did strongly suggest that I should consider becoming an in-patient for a few weeks though. Remove myself from all outside stressors and take care of me.

My sister apparently read my blog finally. Was amazed at my eloquence and wants to share it with others. No mention of her previous e-mail of course nor an apology.

Sigh...

#59
Ha! I'm not in CR, but in Panama, which is slightly bigger, but not by much. :D hahaha

Hey, I just read NZ and immediately thought of you two, since you're the only antipodes I know/care about. So there!

Yay for you & Severn (she msgd me on Facebook) being OK!

It seems the whole world's going through a shakeup lately. It rarely even shakes here --we're thankfully away from the Central American tectonic faults and volcanoes-- but at the rate things are going, what with the Chilean quake displacing the continents by centimeters and all, well... anything can happen. :S

Keep holding those thumbs, crossing fingers, and any other good luck rituals you can come up with or create - a real estate person, not involved in this transaction, stated that only about 15% of "short sales" go through as the banks have next to no motivation for them to be accomplished. They would just as soon let the foreclosures happen and then they can sell the bad investment. Sigh

My RE guy of course says that the selling agent is not sounding that pessimistic.

I am practicing Let Go and Let God and not attaching myself to any specific outcome. What Will Be, Will Be and all that.

Sending good mental waves for the house transaction, I remember the insanity and uncertainty of selling my last and buying this one.

A quote from Julian of Norwich for maggie:

"All shall be well,
and all will be well,
and all manner of things
shall be well."

>60 OldSarge: Sarge: I am glad to hear therapy went well on your first visit. That first one is always the most stressful and the most telling. I am hope your future visits are just as successful! Thanks again for your service to the country. I know it has cost you a lot. *sending hugs and good thoughts your way*

Aww Sarge - I'm so glad the therapy went well and things look promising for you.

Maggie - I'm holding my thumbs for you and sympathizing as we are about to try to sell this house for our move and may very well end up having to try to get a short sale as the economy/market here are terrible terrible

and my Grrr/sad/sigh of the day : our baby big boy cat (baby in that he's the young one at 3 yrs, big boy in that he was 14 lbs- now only 10 lbs as he's been ill) was just diagnosed with diabetes today and now we have to give him insulin shots 2x a day (every 12 hrs.) which on top of trying to pack and move and all the rest is just ahhhhhh grrrrrrrr inducing.

edited to add: at least he is the mellow cat who doesn't mind being poked and messed with

I'm frustrated over some students at school getting by with things that others are disciplined for. When I asked the assistant principal why the difference in punishments for two students for the same discipline problem, I was told that it was none of my business. His words were, "You have no right to question my methods. You are only a teacher."

2 more weeks, 2 more weeks

Because they are more popular than the other students, right? Those kids are just troublemakers. They deserve to be punished.

I'm happy that my new physical therapy place called with a cancellation and they were able to get me in for my first appointment today. Unfortunately, it's quite a drive. The first appointment took a little over an hour and it was completely different from my first attempt at physical therapy. That was quite painful and made things MUCH, MUCH, MUCH worse in the beginning. I suppose it helped some for a while, but that was seriously THE MOST PAIN I'VE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE. Including childbirth, including laser surgery when I didn't actually go numb, including shot in the roof of my mouth. Worse than all that combined, maybe.

So this was nothing like that. It didn't hurt at all. I have some exercises to do and they want me to come back for 'jaw school' where they will teach me how to do everyday tasks without straining my jaw or shoulders or neck. I was a little skeptical, but I could actually feel my jaw start to relax. I'm cautiously hopeful.

The unhappy: I was up late freaked out about the financial situation, worried about everything, and my husband is gone on a leadership camping trip for Scouts. So I stayed up much too late last night and I was exhausted when I woke up. I've stayed tired all day. I hope I get some decent sleep tonight. This is so much more of a strain than the first time we went through unemployment several years ago, I guess because I'm afraid to repeat that experience. 8 jobs in 3 years. And that was just for him; I had 2 myself. He just kept getting laid off over and over again. It's supposed to be better this time - it's not the whole computer industry in a slump, just different buyouts here and there. There are jobs. He's gotten several leads. But no interviews, and his last paycheck was today.

I need some tranquilizers.

I got a call this afternoon from the dentist, reminding me of my upcoming appointment next week. I had put off going to the dentist since I moved to this new state, frankly because I was afraid that standards would be different here and I would experience pain.

Well, I finally had to make an appointment because I have a tooth that's decaying underneath an already-existing filling. So next week, the dentist will be removing a really large filling so that he can (hopefully) replace it with a larger filling. That's my hope - that I won't need any additional work on that tooth.

But now I'm feeling anxious about the whole procedure. I had a really good feeling about the dentist when I went in for my initial consult. But my fears of being hurt are creeping back.

Is there any way you can check the dentist out online? For some patient reviews or something? I need to get a cleaning before our insurance runs out. Good luck.

He was actually recommended to me by someone I know. And I did not get any bad vibes from him, during my cleaning and evaluation. Actually, I quite liked what I saw and heard from him then. This is my anxiety talking . . .

But I do think there might be something like an online review site. I seem to remember hearing about it . . . Jane's List or something like that?

It's Mothers Day in New Zealand today.

And I miss mine - just got hit by a huge wall of grief. Ugh, I hate Mother's Day. It can make the motherless feel so excluded and lonely.

>72 Severn:: I have to add that it is also painful if you cannot have children. I am sorry you are going through pain this weekend. I am sending hugs!

Its also a hurtful day for those whose children refuse to see or talk to them.
Everyone who needs a motherly hug, come here

((((((((hug))))))))

{{{{{{{{{{ Severn }}}}}}}}}} Just get through the day, sweetie, it'll be over soon.

I'm like that with Father's Day, but at least I got my sisters and mom to share in the grief...

*hugs damejennylynn & pollysmith too *

Thanks for the hugs! I needed them around this holiday. And I definitely feel the love! :)

I currently want to hurt my hubby...he got a nasty cold last week and now I have it. UGH! I was looking forward to a fun weekend and instead I am staying in with a box of Kleenex in my lap. I feel so rotten that I can't even read. Boo!

Okay...I'm done whining now.

So damejennylynn - are you a fan of bluegrass/country music? Just wondering, because there's a song called Jenny Lynn.

Actually, I guess that's Jenny Lind. Just kidding!

LOL! Actually, I do like bluegrass/country music. I grew up listening to it...I like the older/twangier (not sure that is a word but I just made it one) stuff.

I get asked if my number is 876-5301 all the time. That definitely gets old. And I also get asked to say "Run, Forrest, Run." My nickname in high school was Jen-A (spoken like Forrest Gump did). It doesn't help that I am a Jenny and not a Jennifer. My maiden name is Northern so I was also "Butt Wipe" for my childhood. I never knew people could make fun of a name like Jenny Northern but it sure happened a lot. :)

YAY! DECEIVER arrived today in the mail.

YAY! I got C.J. Cherryh's latest! YAY!

Sorry...ahem...we now return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

((((Hugs to all who need them today.))))

Yay! Old Sarge! Yay! :)

Thanks for the hugs all, and hugs to those who need them also. :)

On a happier note I have a lovely, supportive husband, and I get to call my Mom-in-Law for Mother's Day soon (she's lucky - she has two Mother's Days: the NZ one and US one hehe). I think I needed to cry for my Mum before I call could my Mother in Law with any genuine feeling...

Having just watched the Dr. Who episode "Blink" I have a confession:

*whispers* . . . I have just the teensiest crush on David Tennant.

*quietly averts her gaze and slides away*

83> get in line, sweetie :)

#80 - Ha! Definitely know THAT feeling! Congrats to a good time!

@GeorgiaDawn; that attitude you described about the principal-teacher-differently disciplined students is exactly what led me to move my family 500 miles to a different part of the country and a new job at a school where the teacher is a respected member of society and students don't want to be sent to the principals office. Schools like that DO still exist thankfully...

Grrr........ I'm..........oh I'm so GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

The situation I've been placed in is horrible and I hate it because it makes me feel so shit.

I have a person living with me at the moment who has very few life skills. Her name is Danni and she is a guy who wants to become a girl. While I have no problem with that I do have a problem with her behavior.

She doesn't think before she acts and is constantly telling me about plans she made at last min which means I either a have to change my own plans or listen to her whinge when I tell her that she needs to give me more notice about things.

She is also very social and wants to stay out late almost every other night , so I have to stay up to see that she gets in.

i can hear you now, that ones easy to solve. Give her a Key. Well I would except that she has been known to lose keys to other places she has lived in. And I just wouldn't feel safe if she lost my door key as I have my kids here.

She is also constantly complaining about my partner to me. Rather than telling him how he makes her feel she tells me. Even after I had a very long sit down talk with her telling her that I didn't need this stress and she needed to talk it out with my partner NOT me.

She also has been told that she needs to wake up and start looking for a job. But to be honest it doesn't look like she's making much of an effort to do so.

Its now come to the point that I cannot live with her any longer. At the end of last month I told her she needed to get a job or get out. It doesn't look like she's taken any notice of this.

Its crap, I hate it.
I just want it all to go away.

#87 Hugs. That stinks, and is why my SIL will never live with me.

Hugs to cmbohn and everyone else who needs them. I haven't been able to keep up lately.

#83 Join the club.

Crazy, anxious week. My son got braces, so we've been suffering through the initial pain. (I'm suffering because I hear the whining all the time.) I saw the sleep specialist, and I definitely have moderate sleep apnea. I will receive my machine sometime this week.

My son went backpacking over the weekend. My quiet Mother's Day weekend didn't happen. SIL showed up with new boyfriend for a visit. Then Mom and Dad came because they were picking up a friend's son at college today and taking him home. So I'm their hotel.

Bad news and prayers needed. This young man they were transporting has a twin brother Gabe who is a Marine. The mother got a call this morning that Gabe (who's in a combat zone somewhere) was in an explosion and is seriously injured. He was flown to Germany and was being sent directly to the States today. Current, unconfirmed status is he's lost one eye, maybe both, and has serious damage to his arms. Mom is a single mom with 4 kids and hasn't had it easy.

Oh, Rita, that's awful. I'll add some prayers right away.

And Rune, I can't tell you what you should do. But I would be packing her bags and kicking her out now if it were me. Or maybe I would; I'm such a stinking wimp.

And that brings me to my whine - my sister and I planned a scrapbooking party with my mom for her Mother's Day present. I even offered my husband to babysit her 5 year old. (He's fine with that.) I got all my stuff together, looked forward to this as a big fun day. And then she was 2 hours late to my mom's, no apology, no explanation, nothing. My mom just made excuses for her and worried that something was wrong. I'm stinking mad. But do I say anything? Nope. Just sit and stew. Then when she comes over to pick up my nephew, I was so mad I couldn't even talk to her, so I stayed in my room until she *finally* left. No thank you. I wound up leaving at 6 so I could come home and spend Mother's Day evening with my family, but that didn't wind up being much fun either.

Honestly, I hate this. She manages to mess up every holiday plan. I don't know why I even bother. She says she loves us, she wants to spend time with us. When she does finally show up, we generally have fun. She frequently outstays her welcome. Why can't I just say - "You know, it hurts my feelings when we make plans and you don't follow through. I was counting on spending time with you, and it didn't work out that way at all."

Thanks for letting me vent!

Our beloved cocker spaniel, Max, passed away today. :(

I was all so out of the blue... this morning my brother-in-law took him to the park to walk for a bit, but Max couldn't walk much before he was seriously exhausted. So my BIL took him home. All afternoon he just laid on the floor, no energy, didn't want to eat or drink water, nothing. We took him to the vet, who after checking him, said it was probably something Max had eaten, because his stomach was distended. He anesthetized and intubated him to induce him to vomit, but he never did. Vet said Max had probably been poisoned with something fast-acting. Took some X-rays, found nothing. In the end, Max went into respiratory arrest.

Sorry to go into so much detail, but I needed to vent, it's helping me cope and understand how this could have happened. When I woke up this morning, I never thought I would lose such a dear friend. :( We're all devastated... We're burying him tomorrow.

All of you who have pets, would you please give them a hug for me right now? Thanks...

Well, those that are huggable... can't really hug a parrot, can you? :')

I'm so sorry, Delirium. *hugs*

#90 - Oh, I am so so sorry, Delirium. :o( That is just awful. *hugs*

My sympathies to you for the passing of Max.

Thank you. :~)

#79
People can be such idiots, sometimes, right? :)

#83
I watched that episode recently, too. But I've had a crush on David ever since his first episode as The Doctor. :)

#88
Oh that's awful! How hard for that family. My thoughts are with them.

Hugs for Delirium.

oh Delirium :( *hugs* so sorry for your loss (my critters send fuzzy squishes to you as well)

cmbohn - I can sympathize as I have a sister who is also like that on holidays - breezes in late, causes a scene and eventually leaves without a care - it can be infuriating - I sometimes resort to telling her the wrong time knowing she always comes late (that way she shows up closer to when she is meant to) Hang in there - family can be trying *hug*

*hugs* and sympathy for all those in trying times right now

Family is people you know and have social obligations to, without having had a choice. That's a bad recipe for a friendship if there ever was one, and it's amazing it turns out OK as often as it does.

Just my personal reflection.

Hugs all around.

cmbohn, I don't know your sister's situation, but maybe this will be of benefit: I used to live about 6 hours drive away from my family's holiday place, so whenever I went to visit, it was something of a minor production for me. But I also figured -- it's my vacation, why should I bust my b*** to get there, and then arrive exhausted? I would give my folks a guestimate of my ETA, but I was often several hours late. I figured it really didn't matter, since I was going to be there all weekend.

Then one year, my folks said they were coming out to see me on a long Thanksgiving weekend. They told me what time they planned to leave, so I calculated in my head what time they should arrive. The hour came and went, and then another hour, and another . . . until I was about frantic with worry. When they got there, I scolded them for being so late, and my father said, "Now you know how it feels . . ."

I can well imagine that your sister just has a different concept of "free time with family." It looks rude from the other side, but that doesn't mean that she intends it to be rude. Maybe the best thing is to do as does evedeve (and many others of us).

Delirium, I am sorry for your sudden loss.

#94 -- around here they usually add a little extra to the Dr. Who episodes, since they are aired on "commercial-free" PBS. This time David Tennant did a little documentary about how the early Dr. Who series were formative for many of today's actors. I finally got to hear his Scottish brogue and, Wow! Increased his cuteness factor tenfold.

My current happy: The dentist listened to me when I told him I hadn't received enough anaesthesia for my filling replacement procedure. He gave me another shot and it was all good from there on!

(((((Delirium)))))

It's Monday and everything I touch turns to lead. I wish I could go home and hide in the basement. My only consolation is that this day will probably end eventually.

aww Jennie *hug* it will end and tomorrow will be shiny :)

My happy: Ozy (kitty) seems to be tolerating his insulin quite well and is feeling/acting much more himself

Thanks, evedeve.

Glad to hear Ozy is perking up.

((((hugs)))) to all who need them. There are some very sad stories here today.

Spending time in the hospital watching my dad. He has what appears to be pneumonia, and is mostly unresponsive. He does open his eyes, and he smiled at the doctor's banter a little bit ago. I don't know. I think we're on short time, but it's hard to know. He's pretty tough.

Tess, I grieve with you. You're in my heart.

Rune: hang in there.

Gotta run.

MerryMary, you hang in there too! Sending supportive thoughts for your family.

Sigh...very sad stories indeed.

~hugs~ to all.

Thanks all for your kind words and warm hugs, they mean A LOTt in this trying time. Max's death has hit us particularly hard because when he came to us five years ago -- exactly one month after Dad passed away -- he helped us cope with our grief and fill a void. So right now it's like a wound that has opened up again. And it hurts. A lot. And I know everyone says their animal companion is special, but Max truly, truly was a remarkable dog.

On the plus side, my sister just called to tell me her neighbor will kindly give us a puppy from the litter his dog had recently. It's a hound, don't know exactly which breed (just "sabueso" in Spanish, I'll research more later.) We don't want to replace Max, but mom does need a doggy to keep her company and alert her to noises or strange happenings outside the house, especially when she's alone in the house for most of the day.

#96 evedeve
Awwww thank you for the furry squishes!!! And yay for Ozy feeling better! :)

#99walk2work
OMG yes, his Scottish accent! I got to hear it during the Doctor Who Confidential special for series two (I have all the new series on DVD, haven't seen any of the 11th Doctor's episodes, waiting impatiently for the realease of *those* on DVD. Obssessive fan, much? :D) and to say I swooned is an understatement!!!

#105MerryMary
Mary! I'm holding you specially in the light. *tight, warm hugs*

Ready to scream in frustration. Perhaps next semester will be *entirely different to what I had planned*. I may be jobless. I may be jobfull. I just don't know! Gee, thanks, university administration! And one of my close friends just gave me some horrible news (which I can't talk about), and he's not doing well with it.

*searches for chill pills*

A minor "unhappy" in the great scheme of things, but a little upsetting all the same. As i continue my cleaning from the big flood back in March, I'm finding a load of books that had been in the boxes that were on the floor that have to be thrown out. Most are ones that I don't care about having to throw out, but there are a few I wish weren't damaged so badly that I couldn't salvage them.

Definitely a happy.

Both my granddaughters started college yesterday. One started police academy, the other ROTC (she hasn't graduated high school yet, and does that 4 June).

The one starting ROTC wants to jump out of perfectly good helicopters for the Coast Guard. I've tried to explain to her that since I was in the Air Force, we always thought it completely nuts to jump out of perfectly good aircraft. Alas, she wants to be a Coastie...

Jumping out of planes? It's a beautiful thing.

AIRBORNE!

Been there, done that.

OldSarge: I am with you. My gpa was 82nd Airborne in WWII. He has explained the rush to me. I would definitely do it if I was healthier. My mom thinks I am completely nuts. :)

(((((HUGE HUGS))))) to all those who are hurting! I hope things get better for everyone.

Hugs for Mary, Delirium, Will and all those who need them.

Well, at least it's not Monday any more.

But it's raining and my job is so boring I could eat a limb and I can't find anything else, not that I have time to look what with getting the house ready to go on the market.

*grump*

Happy new ebooks comming soon! yay!!!

Other news, got very angry, and fed up with the lodger staying with me and had it out with her. Told her straight get a job or get the hell out. She has til the frist of June to get a job or get out. This is the end, theres no more chances after this.

There were tears and then a bit of screaming but I refused to budge. I stuck to my guns.

I feel much better now.

Good for you, Rune! Some people need a good kick to inspire some growing up.

#114
Thanks, jennieg. :)

#115
Good for you!

A happy: one of my best friends just called me to tell me she's pregnant! :) It's her first time and she's thrilled. Didn't expect it, since she's super busy -- just opened a boutique, among other things -- but still, she and her husband are really happy. As I am for them. :) :) :)

#115 - That's VERY good.

Hugs for Will.

Happy - my husband has a job interview on Thursday!

I could use everyone's good vibes today. I am headed to the pain center for the first time. I am trying to find ways to cope with the chronic pain I am in and that the doctors can do nothing about. I'm nervous and excited all at once. I could just use the good vibes today. Thanks everyone!!

You got it.

damejennylynn, best of luck on finding some relief!

#120 Thoughts and good vibes are with you today. I'd like to know what the dr's say. My hub is home from rehab and is in constant pain.
I am out of the house for 11 hours a day and he is stuck in a wheel chair. I don't know what to do!!!!!

Moderatly happy - long weekend ahead, starts tomorrow Thursday (Ascension Day - always on 2nd Thursday in May). I'm going to work on Friday but it feels good anyway :D

Also things are happening bathroom-wise, even if everything is just way off conflict-wise we'll at least soon to have our bath back! Bought new washing machine today, in preparation.

I'll keep you in my thoughts, DJL. KB's cousin has a pain clinic as part of his practice. They do amazing things.

{{{{{damejennylynn}}}}}

Reading this thread has been a roller-coaster. (((Hugs))) on the loss of Max--I had a cocker spaniel for 16 years and losing him broke my heart.

>110 rastaphrog: Rastaphrog, I know your pain. I lost several boxes of books from our flood in 2006, not to mention the bottom shelf's worth from every bookcase. It's heartbreaking--not like losing people or furkids, but painful all the same.

Rune, I'm sorry and know the feeling. I had one lodger that cried when I told him to leave--he was a 50-year-old pothead that worked part-time and just couldn't get his act together. But a month's notice was enough.

My happy is that I now have two lodgers who alternate weeks--they are helicopter pilots, nice guys, and no trouble at all. With of course, the happy point of it all--money that I know will show up every month.

Unhappy is my own fault--not feeling motivated to work, but I need to work. I had some money a few weeks ago and I liked it a lot!

Other unhappy is "check engine" light. Might not be a big deal, but still needs to be dealt with. And paid for.

I've found that a nice piece of black tape over the warning light does wonders.

If the car's running fine but the light's on, make sure you get the gas cap sealed tight when you pump gas. A loose cap (or as I found out, a missing cap!) will be picked up by the computer as a vacuum leak (I think) and will trip the check engine light.

ETA: It will take a few days or so to clear the light if the gas cap was the problem.

Re: Check Engine light - it is worth taking the time to take the car to an auto parts store that has the machine to read it. If it's something simple, they may be able to help you figure it out and fix it quickly; and if it's something major, they can help you avoid delaying too long in getting it taken care of. I know the Auto Zone stores here in the midwest carry the readers. When I took mine in recently, all we had to do was replace the air filter and put some carburetor cleaner in the tank to fix it.

My happy - I really enjoyed my son's choir concert last night. He and the other kids had worked really hard, so I was glad I got to go. He did a great job, and what a ham!

I have a biggish unhappy. Well, two of them. One, my Comcast cable went out on me again and this means I have no TV, no land line telephone, and no interwebs...harsh. And I can't be there to let the tech fix it until Friday. Doubly harsh. Also, my older, desk top computer's hard drive has crashed and burned. My technical assistance people will try to recover some files and put them on a portable hard drive and then I am just letting the dear sweet thing go to the best computer recylcying I can find. I am only one person and I do not need two computers. In the meantime, it is very quiet in the evenings at my home and I can read in peace. All the FB stuff will just have to wait.

I can get on line briefly at my "job" and make one or two important comments but otherwise, I am just away from my desk, so to speak.

Hopefully, I'll enjoy lots of reading like in the good old days when all I had at home to distract me was bad TV.

THANK YOU!!! I LOVE GREED DRAGON PEOPLE!!! All your good vibes worked!!! I love my doctor at the Pain Clinic and he is trying some stuff to help me manage my pain. And he isn't giving up on helping me. He says he has an arsenal of stuff to help me. WHOO HOO!!!! I am not so hopeless now. Thank you again for all the hugs and well wishes. It did my heart good!

I'm so glad to hear this, Jenny Lynn. I hope his confidence is backed up by real effective help for you and you can be pain free soon!

Hugs on the loss of Max, Delirium. And to all those who need them.
damejennylynn--that's great!! I love finding a good doctor.

Speaking of which, I picked up my AutoPAP machine today. Insurance is covering all of it--yay!! It's plugged in, water's in it, and it's ready to roll. Part of me is looking forward to better breathing (allergy season) and part of me is wondering how on earth will I sleep.

No update on Gabe yet (injured Marine). Please keep praying.

Always.

Happy news - the antidepressants finally seem to be working, I only woke up once last night! WOOT!

It is so nice to hear our various and sundry snips of good news. I hope all continues to work better for us all.

#120
How did it go? I hope you found some relief! *gentle hugs*

#127 & #135
Thank you! We're all broken-hearted, it'll take time to heal. But we'll get there some day, we hope... :) We might be getting a new puppy soon, it won't be Max, no doggy will ever replace him, but it'll help us mend.

ejj1955, I hope you found the motivation you needed. *hugs back* Sometimes, what I do is just ride the funk -- or let the funk ride me, heh -- for a little while, allowing myself to feel blah. And then I force myself to get over it. Sometimes I listen to myself, sometimes I revel in the funk a while longer. The important thing is to realize you will eventually move on.

#132
Ouch! I think I'd go insane without the interwebs... On the plus side, hey, more reading! Hope you make a big dent in the pile! :)

#133
Ahhh... YAY!!! :D

#137--Great news!

Well, I survived night one with the AutoPAP. Not too bad for the first night, except I learned a lot about my subconscious.

If I mix too many sci-fi TV reruns lately, a discussion about sailor costumes for VBS, and a new apnea machine, I get a hyper-realistic nightmare of me talking to the captain of a futuristic submarine until a octopus-type alien attaches itself to my face and starts eating it. At which point I wake up while trying to rip the AutoPAP mask off my face. I don't think the insurance will replace it if it's damaged due to nightmares.

...of me talking to the captain of a futuristic submarine until a octopus-type alien attaches itself to my face and starts eating it.

..sounds like a good idea for a book to me...

Just watch out for dreams when you're eating something. My husband chewed a whole in his one time.

Good news: My husband had a job interview today!

Other news: My job is especially irritating lately and I'm not feeling great. Both girls struggling. I can't wait for school to be out.

RitaFaye - Thanks for the laugh this morning! I really needed it.

cmbohn - Congrats on the interview for your husband! I am sorry that your job is irritating and your girls are struggling. I agree - I can't wait for school to be out either.

More drama here, unfortunately. I knew that having teenagers would be difficult but this level of difficulty is starting to feel unmanageable to me. I know that I have asked before, and probably sound like a broken record, but any good thoughts, prayers, whatever way your leanings may be, would be greatly appreciated.

Feeling massivly hurt right now. My hubby is usually wonderful but sometimes he can really let me down. Right now is one of those. I have had some kinda bad news today - just before I picked up our daughter at lunch time. He knows full well how upset I am - we have spoken on the phone and I can't stop crying even 3 hours later. It's really silly but I can't stop. Everything is taking me straight back to the bad stuff that happened in February and I just begged him to come home and have our daughter for a few hours so I could get myself together. We work for the same company and I know he's not busy. He still said he couldn't, which I'm pretty sure is a) a fib and b) an 'I don't want to deal with it' moment. It really adds to the hurt and I just want it all to stop and go away.

Venting again... really sorry.

(((BekkaJo))) hang in there, it will get better.

Thank you Bethy - if I could stop the stupid crying things would get easier. Stupid crying...

Bekka, I understand. We got some bad news about hubby's job (not going to perm) and I just couldn't stop bawling. Finally I called my mom. She'll give about 5 minutes of sympathy then basically tell you enough's enough. While not always something I would do, it helped in the circumstance when I knew she would help me stop crying. *hugs*

rant!

Today my lodger really ticked me off. I just couldn't believe it! She told me before I went to take katie to nursery that she had job centre at 1:25. So i said okay and went on my way.

I come back at around 1:20 as the job centre is very close to where I live. And as soon as I get through the door she is like I thought you were coming straight back! I have to do my job search stuff! I can't do that if I can't go out!

She knows she has to go every two weeks. And she always waits til the very last moment to sort out all her forms!

but the last straw was her saying as she left house was " If I lose my jsa money its your fault!!!"

I so can not wait til the end of the month. I can't do this anymore.

Rant away. That's what we're here for.

She is responsible for her actions, not you. Repeat as needed.

#146 - Don't bash yourself on ya' head just because you're crying. Crying can be incredibly good. We are always told to keep our acts together, and that's what we do, men and women alike, internalising as much as we can.
Then one day we go off our heads, exploding, and people wonder what did just happen.
Well, NOTHING right now, just the accumulated stress of a lifetime.

Admitting to ones' feelings is good. It's the only way to learn how to handle them. IMHO.

#148 - What jennieg said. Ever word of it.

I'm a tad bit unhappy because I managed to deep-fry some of my asparaguses instead of grilling them. Using a pan, of course, the weather's too bad for real bbq. Hope the omelette will taste OK anyway.
A real small unhappy, on the scale of things!

might be TMI for some

Unhappy: I have had horrible PMS these last few days. I only get this a few times a year; it makes me incredibly sad. All I do is read angst-y fanfiction, listen to this on repeat, and cry all day long. I feel like I've been dumped, or other similar catastrophic even has happened to me. I know it's all the hormones' doing but it's still been a crappy few days.

Happy: It stopped raining. Finally.

>151 DaynaRT: There have got to be drugs to help this, and I never heard a better justification for them. For what it' worth, I used to have horrible three-day headaches, but getting older (ahem) cured me of that.

**hugs to all who wish to be hugged**

I agree that letting the tears all out sometimes is the best medicine!

Happy news for me: the cable technician arrived to puzzle through why I was disconnected for this last week. I am now all back to normal - connected to interwebs, telephony, and TV! woo hoo. I really need to remember to turn all this stuff off more often! and have quiet times.

#153 - Congrats to being back in the ether, with the rest of us :D

Happy, and I hope you-all won't take this as boasting: reading in the acknowledgements in the new Pooley's Tree book launched today that "(my name) answered hundreds of questions and never seemed to tire of doing so!"

Richard, it was a pleasure. Talking about trees is always a pleasure.

If I were you, I would be very proud of being mentioned, especially for being thanked as helpful! Congratulations.

>155 hfglen:, boy, if you can't mention book-related happiness here, what is the point?! Congrats on the acknowledgment, which I'm sure was deserved.

I commiserate with those who are having a hard time. I hope things get easier for all.

I also agree with the crying therapy. I'm a big fan of the good cry. Always makes me feel better afterwards...

#151
OMG, is that *ever* a fitting song for a blue mood! I love it, though. Ohh Gavin and his sexy voice!

#155
Niiiice! :D Congratulations!!!

My happy: nothing much, just that today is Friday, I've just finished today's work assignment, and I spent all afternoon organizing my book catalogue here. *nerdgasm* Still not done, though, so I'll get right on to that again. Oh and it rained today. :D

ETA: Oh, also, got one credit from Audible.com to use in one audiobook, just for following them on Twitter. Now to decide on which book to spend it on...

Thanks for the support guys - feeling better today. Have had a good talk with hubby. I went out to my sisters last night which was helpful as well - though I did end up getting exceedingly drunk. Despite the headache today it was very cathartic.

On a happy food note, I popped in to see my Dad today and came away with a lobster and bag of very fresh Jersey new potatoes - I love that Dad has lobster pots again! Oh and hubby is allergic to lobster so I get to eat it all myself. Yay!

#142 For some reason, I rarely dream about eating.

Glad you had a better day BekkaJo. Sisters are good.

#148 She's responsible for her stuff, not you. Repeat as needed.

Doing good here--finally got my son in for a haircut. He was really starting to look like a girl. Now he's back to the standard teen boy that needs a haircut look.

Right tell me if I should be as angry as I am.

I went out to take my partner out for a birthday meal with friends. While I was out I left my kids with Danni the person staying with us.

This is normally okay. I come back today to find that he left my house to get chips from the chip place accross the road.

In doing so, he left Vincent up in his cot, in an unattened house with doors that were left unlocked. When I heard this I saw red and got irate.

She acted like there was no reason to be upset!!!

I'm still shaking with rage now.

IMHO, you are totally justified in being angry. What he did would be a crime in the US of A and could definitely result in an arrest. Not acceptable under any circumstances.

I worry when I walk out to my car in the driveway and leave the kids alone in the house for one or two minutes.

RuneFirestarter, I don't knw why Danni is living with you, but it may be time for her/him to find other arrangements. Needless to say, this person should not be considered babysitter material because there's only one person on her mind, and it's not your child.
Also I have to say, I love the Don't Worry, Be Happy song. I absolutely don't think you should tell someone else to be happy any more than you should tell someone else to smile, a very big pet peeve of mine. But the song does make me happy, and smile. I'm smiling now just thinking of it. Should make a visit to iTunes.

Oh, another thing that makes me happy, the Great Tailed Grackles have come back to my yard. In the winter when my back yard is full of RedWinged Blackbirds the grackles stay away. I can't imagine why because the black birds are much smaller. I love having the colorful blackbirds, but the grackles make me laugh. They're so intense.

Runefirestar,

Here in California, about a month ago, two women left young ones alone, sleeping in their living room and went out to the parking lot to use a car charger. A fire broke out and children died. Do not let Danni brush it off.

In the same vein as "Don't Worry, Be Happy", I keep the "Hamster Dance" in my iPod permanently. It is incredibly silly, but it lifts my spirits during rough moments.

I have even been known to dance to it at work (and that brings smiles to my co-workers, since I am not the best dancer and they cannot hear my music).

>158 Delirium9:
I was never much of a Bush fan, but Glycerine is one of the most perfectly melancholy songs I've ever heard.

It's probably about heroin...seems like a lot of good songs are.

Glycerine is definitely an awesome song. It was kind of like a theme-song that put me through the end of high school.

Unhappy with myself for being 20 minutes late for a work meeting tonight. Why? Because I miscalculated badly how long it would take to get there, so by the time I left home there was no way I could possibly get there on time. And then I saw that I had less than a quarter tank of gas. Would have been really late if I'd run out of gas, but . . . tick, tick, tick.

And the day had otherwise been going so well . . .

Stressed because of the ash cloud and my mom is flying home today. The airport here (Amsterdam Schiphol) is closed until 14:00, maybe after that too, maybe not. She just left (from Greece) but we have no idea where she will land. Not only that, she has injured herself dancing the sirtaki, so we have to pick her up because she is on crutches and can't drive.

I know it will all be fine, and my mom is not half as worried as I am, I just like to know things for sure. This whole ash thing is all so uncertain and last minute. And on Wednesday I have to fly, and I'd like to know if I can...

But on the topic of happy songs (and movies), My Neighbour Totoro is my happy movie/song. It just cheers me up....

One worry down, mom made it to Amsterdam safely...

#171 - Good!

I don't remember if I ever wrote an update on the unhappy situation with my MIL. Anyway, it's not a total unhappy right now, which is good. She was made to (by her doctor, who personally saw her there) move to the home and she's now like a new person. The staff there made her eat regularly, sleep regular hours, in her bed, and now her memory is somewhat returning.

I mean, she's still has dementia and schizophrenia, but at least she recognises her son, don't call her grandson by the name of her son's father, etcetera.
The other day she even called us to say hello, and she was almost coherent.

As far as the eviction from her flat goes as far as she doesn't live there, annoying and scaring the other tenants, and as along as the fee to the owners' association keeps turning up in time, they can't do anything. So we'll keep it for her a while and then see if we should sell it for her.

So, all in all, a happy situation.

Unhappy: On the verge of saying "fuck this" to college, dropping out and going to occupational school (or whatever its called) just to get some directly applicable job skills. Consciously I know I'm smart enough to be here, but unconsciously I think I'm starting to doubt myself. A couple of "friends" are starting to make jokes about me being here so long, do they really think I WANT to be here five and a half years?!

Since about halfway through fourth year I've found myself thinking more and more about life after college. I know its not gonna be sunshine and roses, but at this point I'm ready to be done with academia for at least a couple years. What is supposed to be a door is starting to feel like a steel reinforced cement wall that I'm attacking with a sledgehammer, and even if light is FINALLY starting to shine through from the other side I'm feeling so worn down I'm starting to wonder what the point is anymore.

>173 DeusExLibrus: I know the feeling of frustration, but you must be close to being done and I'd urge you to finish it regardless of your doubts about it being worthwhile. The truth is, I think, that having the degree just so you will be considered for many jobs is as important or more so than anything you learn being applicable to a job. It's just a way of opening the doors--once you have job experience under your belt, that becomes much more important, but there are still plenty of jobs that you can't even interview for without the degree. May not be right, but it's true.

And once you have the degree, you have it forever. That is worth something internally, I believe.

I'm unhappy, very much so, don't know why

#151, Hey fleela,

Same deal here. I think I am starting the big menopause, and have been wanting to cry off and on for a week. Even rescuing a kitten and watching the little fur person play so hard that it goes off the edge of the bed is not countering the hormones.

DEL, you've come this far, keep driving on. As for what others think, fuggedaboutit.

If it helps, DEL, I had 5 years of undergraduate, and I'm on my fifth of post-graduate. I'm almost finished, but I'm also 28 without having had a "real" job (whatever that is...), and about to head on to unemployment in about a month.

#167, 168
There was a time when Glycerine was in heavy rotation on my playlist, along with Placebo's Peeping Tom (all of Black Market Music, really, it's a very depressing album), some Interpol, Nada Surf, Elbow, Econoline Crush, and I don't remember what else. Nothing beat that mix when I was feeling sorry for myself.

#172
Those are good news!

#173
What the point is anymore? Hmmm... the feeling of accomplishment that comes when you finish something, maybe? :S I know it doesn't help to say it, but after toiling along for more than four years, being so near the end feels sooo hard just because you *are* near. Giving up now to maybe take it up again later could end up being harder. Believe me, I know. I gave up on my first career, gave up on university altogether, spent the next six or so years just working, and when I finally found a career I knew was for me it was exhausting working days and studying nights, even though I loved my courses. But I did finish. It felt really good when I finally got my degree!

I'm happy because I'm making plans for my LOST Finale Party this Sunday. A group of friends is coming to my apartment to watch the 5+-hour (!) event, and discuss all things LOST. I'm planning on baking peanut butter cookies, and maybe whip up some vegetarian goodies. I'm psyched to see what my friends come up with. I jokingly said we should roast a boar to keep things authentic! :P

Wish I could come--I'd bring the Dharma Initiative canned peaches!

Well, my hormonal moodswings will not let me sleep yet, so I am going to grab one of my new additions to the TBR shelf and maybe get a little reading done. Either that or rewatch one of the new Doctor Who's.

Sigh. Baby broke her arm on Sunday. Sounds worse than it is - it's the worlds tiniest break so just in a sling till it heals up (no plaster or anything). But it really hurts her, she can't use it and it's making her really frustrated. Just what a 2 year old needs... more frustration...

Ah well. On a happier note, it's my b'day on Friday and I know my hubby has bought me an e-reader, so I'm really excited :)

Aw, that's not fun :( The broken arm, I mean. Does she keep the sling on?

She's been pretty good with it really. She just keeps wandering around saying 'Daddy hurt arm. Daddy sorry'. Hubby is completely guilt stricken.

She was back at nursery - sling and all, today and is much happier - yesterday she was pure wretch. Fingers crossed it means she's on the up.

#180
Well, I'll use canned peaches on something and think of you, then! How about that? :D
I'm thinking peach pizza, well, not actually pizza, but coca: a Majorcan dish. My grandma used to make a sweet one with canned peaches and cinnamon, and honey, I think...

#182
Ouch! Poor baby. :( I'm glad it's not as bad as it sounds, and I hope it heals quickly. On the plus side, I'm glad you're excited for your new reader, yay! :)

I'd been feeling a bit blah last couple of days. Last night was really bad, I wasn't feeling very well, and I was scared (which is rare for me), so my sister picked me up and brought me to her apartment to sleep over. (We both live on our own.) It was a nice touch. I slept much better than I had in days! And now I'm here while she's at work. I should probably get some work done, too...

unhappy: A friend's son got tossed under a car by a bunch of bullies last week. Little guy is eight years old, and he was already on crutches when it happened. Broke both his ankles and his hip. He's out of school on medical leave for the rest of the year and his dad (single adoptive father) is a wreck. What kind of coward throws an 8 year old under a car?

I'm excited! We finally picked a weekend to go to NYC to visit our younger daughter. Maybe I'll assign her the task of picking up some theatre tickets. And selecting a nice restaurant.

That's horrible, DEL. I hope they know who did it and will press charges.

The kids should be expelled and their families made to pay for the medical bills.

DEL - I can't imagine what kind of people could do such a horrible thing. It breaks my heart to hear about bad things like this happening to children...I hope he and his father will be ok...I can hardly stand to let my children out the door when I hear things like this...

#186 - I thoroughly agree with Mono (#189) on this one.

I'll third that, and jennieg's comment.

How horrific, DEL, and yes I agree with Mono and jennie (#188), too. That's a criminal act and just being expelled is surely not enough.

Happy that my new printer arrived today. Also happy that it didn't get rained on before I got home! Since it was only in the merchandise box, with a shipping label pasted on.

#161 - Rune you are right to be angry and for me that would be the final straw. I wouldn't have her in the house a minute longer. I know you've given her a deadline but I think she should go immediately now.

Anything could have happened while he was out, even if it was just for five minutes. I know this is extreme but has she forgotten Madeleine McCann? Probably wouldn't happen but it's just one of the many things that could have happened while she was out of the house.

The furthest from the house I go when Joseph is inside it is the end of our very short garden path to put the bin out on collection day. He's more likely to wake up and cry than be injured, killed or kidnapped but when it's your baby that's bad enough, you don't want your child alone, unprotected and crying for someone who's not there to hear them.

#182 - BekkaJo I hope she feels better soon, poor girl must be very unhappy with herself.

#186 - That's so terrible, I can't imagine anyone doing that to a child. Or to anyone really. I'm a bit speachless trying to think how they could do that. I hope those who are guilty are both punished and kept on file as being the type of people who may always be a danger to others in the hope that this prevents them going on to kill somebody. It's shocking.

161: Given, I'm not a parent, but that sounds like legitimate grounds for an immediate firing and being kicked out of the house to me. Definitely wouldn't feel comfortable with someone that irresponsible looking after my kids.

186, DEL, I can not believe these are "bullies". These people are criminal and however young they might be, the authorities should be called in to address the issue. When youngsters show a lack of empathy at an early age it means they must receive immediate attention. Almost all psychopaths showed a lack of empathy, and a willingness to be cruel, at an early age and if they had received some attention perhaps later horrific tragedies may have been avoided. I am hoping something very serious happens to these people.

RuneFirestar, get rid of that person. You do not deserve these worries in your life. And please let us know how you are doing and what has happened.

Finally, apologies if I have jumped out of my skin about these issues and should demonstrate more distance from trying to solve others' problems. I know things are always more complicated than "25 words or less" can express so if I've cross boundaries of reasonableness, please forgive my enthusiasm in defense of my GD friends.

DEL - "Bullies" is too polite a term. I hope things get better for the boy and his Dad --- and I will not say what I hope for the perpetrators. I was raised to not use that kind of language in public.

Del, I echo everyone's comments about the 8 year old and his father. I especially agree with Maggie1944, psychopaths or sociopaths in the making.

On a lighter note, I broke my sister's arm when she was 4 or so. I was drying it prior to dinner and was a little to vigorous. It's been 50 years, but she won't let me forget it. I tell her if she doesn't get off my case I may have to break the other one.

196, all> "Bullies" was the term my friend used when telling me about the incident. I certainly agree with you all that anybody that can do that sort of thing to anyone, but especially a child, has passed beyond simple bully status.

Thinking about this, I and his father have both gone back and forth on whether it was good that he wasn't there when it happened. Seeing that sort of thing happen in person would be hard on any parent. Yet, I think not being there for his son to be able to hold and comfort him immediately after the fact is a big part of what's been so hard about this whole fiasco. Not denying it would have still been hard, but I think he feels as though he failed in some way as a parent and would be dealing with this a lot better if he'd been there when it happened.

On a bit lighter, just plain worried note, I'm not really in the wanting to drop out mindset anymore, but I'm still freaking out a bit. This is the last week of classes, and I've got a couple papers due by the end of finals week, one 5-7, one 8, and one 16-20, and I'm running up against major writer's block on all three. The first and third are philosophy papers, the first I wouldn't have an issue with, except its a research paper, and I've got no bloody idea how to do philosophy using sources, although I have a couple pages of something. The second is an ethnography thats almost done (6 pages so far), and the third is, thus far, a complete non-starter. School days are disappearing like water down a drain, and I've got writer's block like nobody's business. The 8 pager is also due this Thursday, not finals week. The first is also technically late, although end of finals is the dead-man date, last chance ot get it in. Sorry for the wall of text. I understand if people see this stuff as less major than my friend's son or Rune's incompetent nanny, but its certainly of almost equal magnitude to me personally.

#199 We totally understand DEL. I'd suggest taking it one step at a time. I used to get major blockage on my essays to - ignore the ones that aren't due till later, focus on the Thursday one and take it step by step. Look at what you've got and just try and brainstorm like crazy!

Re your friends son, I'm happy to use the language in public (though I'll be good and not use it on here) - this is an awful criminal act and they should be prosecuted let alone expelled.

Dad passed away yesterday evening at 6:30 local time. We had left the room for a few minutes, and...he was gone.

This was no surprise, no shock, totally expected and prepared for - and it's 4:40 in the morning and I can't sleep. I feel empty, and numb, and angry that he didn't wait until I came back, and relieved that it was so peaceful, and scared of the dark, and grateful for the good life he had.

Three of us are here with Mom, and the last sister will arrive tomorrow. (She was here last weekend to say good-bye.) Several of my nieces were here yesterday, and so was my daughter. 5 of the great-grandchildren were here (oldest one 8) so there was a merry confusion in Dad's room some of the time - which he probably loved. Mom is holding up well. They had nearly 62 years together. As far as I know, I'm the only basket-case. Maybe I should go back to bed.

Thanks for letting me unload. Hug your Daddies.

MerryMary - I am so sorry to hear about your father passing. It is ok to be a basket-case. Everyone grieves in their own way. I do hope you can think of happy times as well. It sounds as if he was surrounded by love. Take care.

so sorry for your loss, MerryMary - it's a hard thing.

MerryMary, hugs and sympathy for your loss. Undoubtedly some of your family are in a state of numbness and shock, and grief will spill out in time. You just got there a little sooner.

I know too well the feeling that, even when death is expected, you are still overcome with the sense of loss. I hope time works its gentle healing for you all.

>199 DeusExLibrus: DEL, I'm sure you'll get it all done, even though it seems a mountain now. And I understand how this can occupy your mind and threaten to overwhelm you--sure, there may be more serious problems in the world, but this is yours right now.

My biggest issue at the moment is my neighbor making a lot of lawn-care noise at 8:30 in the morning. Not a big issue, but I'm really annoyed. He seems so oblivious to the thought that others might still be sleeping. He needs to be on several acres in the country with no near neighbors, but, alas, he's right next door. Argh.

MerryMary - I know how you are feeling, and it sucks. I lost my Daddy last November, I'm still grieving, but it's getting better - slowly. Even when you're expecting it, it's still a shock. Tons of hugs for you and your family!!!

I'm so sorry, MM. I know this has been coming for a while, but you're never ready to let go. I'll be praying for you and your family.

So so sorry MerryMary. I don't know what to say - just so many hugs. I suddenly really want to go hug my Dad and check he's okay. Reminds me to hug him more.

Hugs to you, MerryMary. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

My condolences, MerryMary. Virtual hugs.

My deepest condolences MM, losing a loved one can be shattering for everyone involved, some just handle grief differently than others.

MerryMary - so sorry for your loss

Happy: Its starting to look more and more like I'll be employed this summer. Given, its a volunteer position on campus, but it means I'll get free housing and my parents agreed to help me pay for food, so things are looking up. Its work in the campus bookstore, so not the library like I'd hoped, but at least I'll be around books, and there's still a possibility of working in the library, depending on how much work I get at the bookstore. Now if I can just get my work for this semester finished and not fail anything.

{{MerryMary}} - So sorry to hear that.

DEL - pleased things are looking up for you.

(((((MerryMary))))) -- and your family!

{{{{{{{{{{MerryMary}}}}}}}}}} A really BIG one. there was a merry confusion in Dad's room some of the time - which he probably loved I loved this description. And I'm positive he loved it. :)

#212 I'm glad. Life has a way of sorting things out by itself, sometimes... :)

mary, I am so sorry for your loss and your sense of loss, I miss my Mom awfully sometimes. You will get thru this and later it won't be quite so hard to think about, remember good times and be thankful that your beloved daddy is now at peace. My dad is 81 and still going strong but everyday I think something could just happen. I know.

MerryMary, I lost my mother 10 years ago, my father 7 years ago and my brother 5 months ago. I was there for each death, all were expected, all hurt like hell anyway. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have someone die unexpectedly without being with them. A part of me would probably not believe they're gone. Well, actually, I still have a hard time believing my mother and brother are gone. The whole family was there when my mother died at home, but I was alone with my father and brother just for the few minutes it took for them to give up. When they were almost gone I called the rest of the family to come. For some reason maybe they chose to do it alone, so I guess I interfered, but knew for the sake of the living they had to be there.

DEL--Hang in there with the studies. Hugs and prayers. As for the "bullies," the dad needs to press charges. This was definitely assault, and could be defined as attempted murder depending on the age of the assailants. If these were kids, they're not bullies, they are budding psychopaths. Also, it could be an indication of abuse in their lives, and an official investigation could bring them help. Sorry for the soapbox--I was bullied as a child, and I'm a former foster mom.

Merry Mary, I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. Hugs and prayers.

On a lighter note, the APAP machine is sorta working. I had the oomph to workout tonight and do some light weeding when I got home. Although last night was bad, I apparently removed it early in the night and then had scary, bizarre, demented nightmares that left me in a foul mood this morning. (Why would I be required to take a pumpkin carved with Pres. Obama's face to the visitation for my murdered son? WHY?)

---(((HUG)))---

does that describe one big, long, tight hug for you MerryMary? I hope so because that is what I send you. Be at peace, friend.

MerryMary, my condolences to you on your loss. Tell lots of stories with your family, these next few days, especially with the children so you all remember him.

>217 Citizenjoyce: CitizenJoyce, my sympathies to you, also. I know the feeling of a long string of losses--maybe it's just something you have to endure if you live long enough yourself. But both my parents are gone, some very close friends, one of my sisters, and a few months ago, one of my nieces. My niece was in her 40s and my sister in her 50s; those are the hardest (especially as they both suffered quite a bit).

I'm trying to value the people I still have and take joy in the fact that I'm alive. So should we all!

Oh, so much loss. :(

#220 That is wonderful advice. One of my biggest (irrational?) fears after Dad died was that people would eventually forget about him. He was an architect, and very well-known in architectural circles all around the Americas (people will seek him out at conventions just to say hello), as well as locally. People would ask me and my sisters "Are you the architect (our last name)'s daughter?" So when he passed away, I had this fear that he would just be forgotten... obviously, I also feared I would no longer remember his face, his hands, his voice... Needless to say, I haven't.

Happy: Finished the rough draft of my ethnography! (the 8 page paper) Still needs some work, and needs to be a bit longer (its actually about 6.5 pages) but its written.

I lost my maternal grandmother when I was three. Apparently when we went to her funeral, I asked where grandma was and was very upset when she didn't make an appearance. She was a librarian and loved her job, so I like to think she would have been proud of her bibliophile grandson. Plus, if not for my cr@p GPA, I'd be going on to library school, which she would doubtless love.

My big happy for the day: Tommy, my son, received permission from the doctor today to return to school and work. Six months of his life on hold for healing, happily, he has healed well and will only have minimal lasting effects.

My unhappy today: My other son was diagnosed with "pink-eye" today. Hopefully it isn't the virulent kind.

Merrymary : condolences.

Lee: So good to hear about Tommy!

A kind of happy: yesterday, when my migraine hit me straight on the chin, I finally managed to call the doctor. So now I'm under investigation, and meanwhile I got stronger meds - a trial; not the strongest, mainly because I don't want the side effects of that class of medicines, but I'm holding my thumbs for it to work out OK.

On a related note I think it a sick society in which you can't even have time to have the occasional headache. But when things are what they are you just have to bite the sour apple. As we say here.

MrsLee, I'm delighted to hear such good news about Tommy! Congratulations to you both.

Migraines are a real bite, Busifer, and many people don't realize how disabling they can be. Here's hoping the new meds work out.

Busifer, my mom used to have physically debilitating migraines when I was a kid, to the point that she ended up laying in her room with all the lights off and the blinds closed. She's got them under control now, but I just wanted to say I know how bad migraines can get, and I'm happy to hear you've got things under control.

I'm happy/freaking out here. It looks like my daughter is going to graduate, but I'm nervous to even say that much in case something goes wrong. With all the chaos, I didn't order announcements in time so I'm scrambling to make my own, get her senior portraits done, plan a party, and do it all on a tiny budget. My parents are paying for a lot of this stuff, but still, it's a major headache.

Meanwhile, I didn't have any work since Monday, but my husband has started a new part time job that's keeping him busy and productive so far. And I've decided I'm tired of being sick, so I'm not going back to the doctor until I can make time for it. I feel like all I do is go, they listen, tell me to try this or that, and then I'm right where I was when I went in, except that it cost me money and time to go. I'm not any better. I'm ready to do something drastic. I'm thinking of taking up running. Which is like a HUGE personality switch for me, but I'm sick of sitting around and being in pain. Everyone who runs tells me how great it is. Maybe it will work for me.

Still, holding thumbs still appreciated. I will let you know how the graduation works out. I'm trying to just be happy with things as they are, but I swear, every time I get on Facebook someone is telling me how their kid has a scholarship, or is valedictorian, or is prom queen. I'm just glad my daughter survived! And I want to be happy for her that she is graduating, but she's pretty ambivalent about the whole process. She's only going along with a party because that what I want. If it were up to her, she wouldn't even walk.

(((((Hugs))))) MerryMary, I am so very sorry.

Cmbohn congratulations to your daughter, that's great news.

Cindy, some people's FB posts are like their Christmas letters--they only put the good stuff and throw a little gloss on it in the bargain. Maybe they just haven't hit their major challenges with their kids yet, and you have.

Figures vary, but high school graduation rates in the US may be about 77 percent, so there is a significant failure rate. This is a huge achievement and you should celebrate--your daughter may be happy about the party when she looks back on it later.

GN: I sell books online (mostly on Amazon); I'm trying to sell off most of the book business as a lot so I can clear out those books, but I did pull the most expensive ones to hold onto. Yesterday I sold one and today I sold another of these (somewhat) expensive ones!

That never happens!

Gosh, so much has happened to everyone since I was on last. Sorry I have been away. I have been trying to deal with medication management. I found out that the new meds that the doctor gave me (my new doc at the pain center) will cost me $1,000 (yes, you read that right) a month. We are trying to find a loop hole to get them cheaper. Ugh! So I have been busy and I have not been online enough.

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss MM. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take your pain away but I will be thinking/praying for you.

DEL: don't give up. I was in college for over 7 yrs to get my undergrad. You can make it!

And to everyone else who needs it, here are some hugs:
(((hug)) ((hug)) ((hug)) ((hug)) ((hug)) ((hug)) ((hug))

232> I know. It just bugs me that if some unknown group of dumbasses hadn't decided to make gen-ed a requirement @ the college level, I'd already be out.I've already got my major done, why can't that be enough?

Happy: Got through my ethnographic project presentation without failing royally. I now understand the frustration teachers and profs must feel teaching an unresponsive class though. I did my ethnography on the college gaming club. As part of the presentation I had a borrowed deck of Magic: the Gathering TCG cards with me, pulled a couple different cards from it, and passed them around, asking if anyone could tell me why they were different/which ones were worth different amounts/etc, as a demonstration of in group knowledge club members posses, and got zero response. Grr, I make the effort to do something engaging and interesting after a bunch of people standing and flapping their mouths or showing PowerPoint presentations, and get nothing. I ate lunch with a club member (who is also a friend) today, and he suggested getting video of them playing at a meeting last night and showing that. I'm thinking that might have been better, as it would have demonstrated in group knowledge as well as ritual within the club. Unfortunately, neither of us thought to, you know, think of that LAST NIGHT. At least its over, one less thing to do.

As someone who's lecturing at a university level, speaking to an unresponsive crowd is really tough. When you ask for some response and all you get is blank faces, it is just blecch. I manage it by only asking for a response when I'm quite sure I'm going to get one, and by using ridiculous examples. People are more likely to respond if they've just had a giggle.
Unresponsive crowds aren't necessarily the fault of the speaker, particularly at university level. It's more likely that it's just that they don't want to be there, and even the best speakers won't make them responsive.

cmbohn - Congratulations to your daughter! I hope everything goes well! Don't worry about the FB stuff. I seriously doubt that very many people put the bad stuff on their page, only the good. No one is as perfect as they appear to be. And, congratulations to you for helping your daughter graduate!

minor happy: Finally got a start of the major 16-24 page philosophy paper I have to write for my Philosophy of Religion final. Its amazing how much two pages can reduce the freak-out level. Just as long as I don't end up getting complacent, I should be fine.

Never a moment's doubt, DEL.

#228 Congrats to your daughter. And it's good you're making her walk--she'll appreciate it later. As to Facebook, I usually only put the good stuff up there. Too many people know too many people and I don't want the wrong person to learn something they don't need to. (((Hugs)))

Sorry if the dream reference was a little freaky. I've since found out that a very small number of apnea sufferers react with extreme nightmares to the CPAP machines. I will definitely talk to the doc about it, but for now I can deal, as I'm feeling much better.

Good for you DEL, and congrats for surviving the presentation (I hated those).

MerryMary,

Be well. Let yourself cry and laugh as needed.

Everyone says I should be the bigger person. And I have I've taken all the crap and shit thrown at me and just let it go.

But has being the bigger person actually gotten me anywhere? NO .

It sucks and I hate it. I don't care anymore. I don't want to be me.

Happy: Just finished my community ethics paper. Damn it feels good to get stuff done.

WOOHOO! Go DEL!

Rune - at some point, you may have to stand your ground and quit taking the shit. Sounds like you've hit that point. Best of luck, you can do it! {{{{HUGS!}}}}

edited for stypid tupo.

Decisions, decisions! I'm deep in the middle of getting E. ready for graduation and now I'm trying to decide if I want to go back to school. I'm 40, which seems a little old to be going back to school, but there will never be a better time to do this either. So what do I want to do? I need to figure that out and I have no idea! I'm freaking out a little today. I need some major anxiety medicine. Help!

cmbohn - you are never too old to go back to school! I have a good friend who went back to finish high school when some of her kids were still in high school (she even had some classes with them, as the town was much smaller then and had no adult classes), she then went away to college to train as a Massage Therapist (must have been somewhere in her 40's then), and has been working at her own clinic for over 20 years. She is now about 70 and still going strong, enjoying work too much to want to retire. I say go for it!

Hey, I got my degree at 35. No big deal. I second the "go for it!" advice.

My unhappy is pretty small compared to some here, but I've been looking for a kitten since the end of February, and there aren't even any ads posted around town. I know there must be a lot of un-fixed cats out there, as our vet only comes to town about once a month for 2 days, but where are all the kittens? All the time my older cat Badger was getting sicker I kept in mind that no matter how I would miss him, I had an excuse to get a new kitten. It's getting close to the end of May, and I still have no kitten. :(

>246 NorthernStar: I'm wondering whether it will help in your location, but I googled and www.petfinder.com appears to cover Canada, too--one place I looked said you have to put in your postal code for your location instead of a city or town. Are there any pounds or shelters near you? What about ads in local papers?

I just hate to think of some poor kitten that could be enjoying being spoiled by you instead of waiting for adoption!

My daughter, who's a vet tech, says there are seasons for kittens. If you've been looking since the end of February I have to think that you'll be coming into kitties soon.

cmbohn, I got my nursing degree when I was 39. I wasn't ready before then. My class was pretty evenly split between fresh out of high school kids and mature women. Life is long. I read that people can expect to have 3 careers in their life time. That means more and more people getting education later in life (much later than 40).

>247 ejj1955: - Thanks, I've tried the paper, all the notice boards, and there are no shelters closer than a 4 hour drive away. Pet finder doesn't bring up anything closer than that. I've put something on facebook on the local buy-sell group too (several times).

MerryMary - I understand the anger about them not waiting. I missed my Mum's passing by about 40-50 minutes. And I was told quite callously by a nurse: 'you know your Mother has died right?' I sat down hard and said 'no'. Ugh, it was horrible. She wasn't alone, but still, that grief that I wasn't there will always remain - and there are times, even years later, when it's all I can focus on. You just get through and remember that they knew how much you loved them. And that you were there in spirit simply by that bond of love.

~many, many hugs and condolences~

Speaking of callous, I had a miscarriage once in the toilet at the doctor's office. I was only 10 1/2 weeks so there wasn't much to see, but it was a pregnancy after all. After the nurse had fished the little blob out of the toilet, the doctor came out and told me, in the waiting room, "Well, you're not pregnant any more. That was the baby." Ah, the soft heart of the medical profession.

How awful!

I wanted to say "thank you so much" to everybody for the hugs and support. You have all helped me get through the last few days, and I'm so grateful. And so blessed.

Hang in there, MM. I've been thinking about you a lot lately. Let us know if we can help with anything.

Mary! *hugs again* Still thinking of you....

I have a little unhappy in the realm of things, but it would help to be able to articulate it, so here goes. As some of you know, I work for Starbucks. Have for a while, and I LOVE my job. I also happen to be pretty good at it/

A few months ago, my manager quit. It was 6 weeks before our new manager came into our great little store, and completely changed it. It's not an exaggeration when I say that everything not completely bolted down has been moved and rearranged.

The new manager won't listen to our requests for compromise, and she won't take the advice of another manager who used to run our store. Long, long story short, tonight she left a note that basically said that if we didn't clock out on time tonight, we would be on the fast track to firing. The sad thing is, if everything isn't perfect in the morning, she writes us a list and lectures us with threats to officially write us up. Either way we are in danger of being fired.

At night we have two people and 30 minutes to shut down the store. In the morning, they have two people and an hour and a half to get things set up. As strange as it may seem, every week she removes a task from the morning crew's responsibility and puts it on OUR to-do list.

I am so stressed that I'm having panic attacks in the middle of my shift, and my depression is back in full force. I can feel myself slowly shutting down, and I'm powerless to stop. There's not really anything I can do but quit, which doesn't seem fair. I love my store, I love my customers. I love making drinks. I even love the satisfaction that comes from cleaning the story top to bottom every night. I just don't know if I can go on physically, and that makes me very unhappy. So there you go- I know it's a little thing, but I just can't cope with it. *shrugs*

#253
Mary! Just... we're here. That is all. :) *tons of hugs*

#255
Awwww, it's NOT a little thing! It's your livelihood!

I'm thinking, if she doesn't hear you, the people who actually work there and know how things should be run (as, apparently, she doesn't), would it help to get regular customers to file a complaint or something? Or to collect signatures on your (you and your co-workers') behalf... something like that, I don't know. I'm just brainstorming. Have no idea if that would be practical.

Because, thing is, if she continues like that one day there won't be a store left for either 1) all of you to work in and 2) customers to come into. And that'll be a shame.

She *needs* to, needs to, understand this. What kind of manager/business school did she go to, anyway? :| I thought Starbucks, as a chain, had standard practices everyone had to follow strictly?

Hang in there, 'k? *hugs*

Does this manager not have a manager? Is there no other store you could try to transfer to? I feel for you, that manager is not good for the company. Good employees are hard to find and if they are over-managed, it is a waste of valuable time for everyone.

#243 FWIW, one of the great formative influences on my life was an old gent who got his Ph.D. the hard way at the age of 70. (Later, he was most annoyed at the university authorities when they "cruelly, heartlessly threw him out (read, forcibly retired him). They might at least have waited three months until {he}'d had his 90th birthday!") And my Better Half has started work on her Ph.D., in her 60s. So you have half a lifetime yet to complete your studies and enjoy the fruits! I'd say go for it, PROVIDED THAT you enjoy the journey.

>255 MissWoodhouse1816: (((hugs))) Not a small thing at all, to have a work experience that gives you great pleasure become a trial and a misery because of a change in management. Arbitrary rules and unreasonable threats do not make for a happy, productive workplace.

I can understand how hard it would be to request a transfer, but one possible tactic would be for a group of employees all to request one at the same time--this would send a message to her bosses without your having to make a direct complaint against her. But it has the best chance of being effective if there's concerted action by a group of employees at once.

I'm worried. I woke with a fever. Last time this happened I had cellulitis (skin infection) and ended up in the hospital for a week which is a nightmare for someone of my size. We just can't do this again. Not physically, not financially, not emotionally. I'm praying, and I'm not a prayer, that we can fight this with oral antibiotics this time. Will be going to urgent care some time this morning.

Oh dear morphy! I hope and pray everything is fine

hfglen - thanks for that story! I feel much better about it this morning. I'm thinking I either want to get my MLIS (master's of library science) online or I want to find out what I need to do to go into diabetes case management. I've looked some places online about the degree, but it's a little overwhelming. And I don't know where to start on the other, but I met with a career counselor and he pointed me at Linked In and gave me some resume tips, but until I make up my mind, he couldn't help too much.

Sorry to hear you're feeling sick, Morphy! Get well vibes heading your way.

MissWoodhouse - I agree that it's time to look for a transfer. No job is worth that kind of stress, especially when you have experience and could find another.

MissWoodhouse, I am sorry you are struggling with your job. I once had a job where my supervisor would do nothing, nothing, and more of nothing to support me in a very difficult situation. I was in fear of losing my entire professional reputation, very unfairly. I hunkered down, kept my nose to the bright line to the end of the contract, and chanted "faith" "faith" "faith"...hoping that it was true that you learn something in every experience and that nothing is a coincidence. I survived. I am not sure I learned much other than "I can survive". But I did experience the "this too shall pass" cliche.

In your situation, I hope you can find an alternative to just up and quitting. I don't think you need to think about your choices with any other goal than finding the best place for you. Don't bother trying to send a message to administration that this manager is a bonehead. They will figure it out.

Do look for ways to get out from under her influence. Good Luck.

Hang in there, Morphy, and feel better soon! Positive vibes to everyone who needs them.

Thanks guys. I don't want to up and quit, that's not fair to me as I love my job. I've been offered a full-time teaching position so it is feasible to quit, just not choice #1.

I used to think that we could go to our District Manager with any Store Manager problems, but our DM completely abandoned us when our previous SM quit. She won't answer the phone from stores or partners- she only talks with managers. It's discouraging. We've all been trying to transfer out, but every store is fully staffed and they don't want to take on other people. The reality is that corporate now prefers to "let go" older partners- newer partners are cheaper on the budget, don't remember old policies, and because they are unsure of themselves they ask less questions. We're on thin ice with any direction we choose to go. I just don't want to be fired because the new SM didn't listen to advice, and refuses to take our requests into consideration.

I may be able to do a swap in a few months- a partner from the store down the street wants to transfer to my store, so I could theoretically take his place. The red tape is extreme though. We'll see; I just have to ride this out and try to survive.

Morphy, I really, really hope that you feel better soon, and that meds clear things up quickly and cleanly for you. Holding you in my thoughts.

Not sure where else to post this. SO here goes. I have a sci-fi ebook collection of two discs. There's lots of titles and writers.

I've taken the books that I want so I'm more than happy to send it on.

If your interested in this drop me a line and i can get it put in the post :)

MissWoodhouse, why not take the teaching job? Or don't you particularly like teaching? (I understand that!)

I hope you can find a way to work it out. Still thinking of everyone here.

I really want to take the teaching position- it's my dream job. Unfortunately, it's just not realistic at this time. I'd leave the house at 6 am, maybe be home by 6 pm (the school is over an hour away from me), all while finishing my final year at university. Plus grading, lesson plans, weekend events, and the fact that if I want to commute 2+ hours everyday, I need to sleep. So, I know that I can get another job, I would just kill myself doing it (for comparison's sake, my Starbucks is a 4 minute drive from my house during heavy traffic times).

Thanks for the concern everyone- I've been communicating with an out-of-state manager, and he's been giving me great input and advice as well. I just have to hold on to my job for a bit longer!!! :)

I am glad you are talking with someone in a position to give you good information. I spent many years doing very long commutes while trying to teach and I do not recommend it. Holding my thumbs for you, hopefully all will come out just right!

Oh, I didn't know you were still in school! Then yeah, that's an issue. Hang in there!

Looks like E. may not graduate after all - she's going to have to talk with some teachers and see if she can squeak by. She's really mad at herself, so I don't have to say much, but of course, I want to! I want to say - why didn't you see this coming? Have you heard of homework?

But I just patted her on the shoulder and told her to talk with her teachers, that it may not be as bad as she thinks, and summer school is perfectly acceptable.

On the plus side, she did manage to pull it together and we had her seminary graduation (it's like a Bible study class for high school) tonight and my whole family came. So that was very nice. I was really proud of her.

Considering that she has had a week long hospital stay every year of high school, at least one, and that she has had doctor visits, therapy, teacher trouble, plus all the illness itself, it's a miracle that she is this close to graduating, really.

I just read all 270+ posts on this thread. Wow - such a lot of pain in the world.

First - OldSarge - you were my first ever LT friend - are you all right? Are things better? You haven't posted to the thread in a while, please let us know how you are.

MerryMary - my sympathies and condolences. I have yet to lose a parent and I dread the experience. My thoughts are with you.

cmbohn - don't worry, your daughter will graduate later if not now. It will be all right.

Morphidae - if it is cellulitis and the antibiotics don't clear it, please don't wait to go to the doc. My mom had cellulitis earlier this year and it took weeks to get her well.

For the lady in pain management - I don't know what drugs or condition are in question, but I too am a chronic pain sufferer - are they considering narcotics? I ask because a) they work and b) they tend to be affordable. I hope everything works out as constant pain is a drag on every physical and mental resource. My thoughts are with you.

DEL - I am sure by now you have finished your schoolwork so that things are improving, but definitely hang in there. Not only is the degree worth it, but the sense of accomplishment and confidence getting through this will give you for a lifetime is worth it.

MissWoodhouse - I was saying to a friend only today that it is never the work of work that gets you, but the politics of it. I hope the out of state manager can help you if the District Manager is unwilling to; the only suggestion I had is for all employees of the store to go to the DM en masse to try and work things out.

And, from way at the beginning of the thread; I am worried about the state of our world - especially environmentally and feel like we are heading to our next great catastrophe. And I am not the only one worried, nearly everyone seems to be. I feel so helpless - is there nothing we can do? And partly, I feel that some of the fixes need to come from the top down - how can individuals possibly organize what needs to be organized? Especially when we can't even agree on what the problems are. Sigh.

Hugs to all.

Thanks for the encouragement Anastasia. I'm going into finals week, so its not over just yet, but the utter freak out stage is past. Now if only I can get past the writer's block I'm suffering every couple pages writing the essay for Philosophy of Religion.

cmbohn - I hope things get worked out for your daughter. And, if not, try not to get too upset about it - she is obiously very close to graduating and will do so very soon.

Thanks, bookaholicgirl and Anastasia. I'm really hoping for good news when she gets home from school today. She was crying last night and feeling stupid because she let this happen. I'm worried about how she'll react if she doesn't get to graduate. It's funny - last week she would have said she didn't care if she got to march or not, and now that she might not get to, she really wants to! Human nature, I guess. Praying hard today. It's not like she needs As to graduate - a D is good enough.

cm, might the school allow her to do the walk if she takes summer school? She probably wouldn't be the only one in that situation.

Morphy, I hope the antibiotics do the trick and you're feeling much better soon!

Meh: Did some editing work on my paper over the weekend but didn't get any new material written. Stressing because I have six more pages to write plus the second essay, another 8-12 pages, thats due by the end of the day this Friday. Meeting with my prof this afternoon to see if I can get something sparked. Second essay is more open ended, so hoping it'll be easier, but we'll see.

Happy: Got my summer housing assignment about five minutes ago, so I'll have a place to live this summer. :)

Somehow KittyMonster got out last night. (She is NOT an outdoor cat.) I can't find her. We had a gully-washer last night, and rain on and off all day today. I've been roaming around looking, but no kitty.

I so do not need this.

Today got into a massive shouting match with the lodger who is going soon. She seemed to be of the impression that she could stay here until the council found her a flat of her own.

I told her flatly that was not a possibility and that she needed to tell the person who is supposed to be sorting her out that come the 31st she will no longer have a place to stay.

She acted like i was being unfair and unsympathetic to her. I told her that she was not my responsibility and I did not want and no longer needed the stress she created. She ran out crying. Its the fourth time in two days that she's cried at me and ran out.

I am on the verge of throwing everything that she has in this house into bin bags and telling her to get out now.

To top things off Vincent won't sleep.

hugs all round, and hope KittyMonster shows up safe soon. I know how bad it feels to have that happen. Tuck once didn't show up for 5 days!

I'm not happy - bad stuff happening at work - my branch of the library is being closed and we are being moved downtown into a site that has already absorbed 2 others so there's no place to put the collection. 60% of ours has to go in the recycle and 40% of the destination site's, and we'll never be able to provide such good service to our clients again. I wish I was eligible to retire. It breaks my heart to see a service that I've spent my whole career building just get flushed like this.

To top it off, the long weekend mostly rained so I didn't get the garden in and today, the only nice day, I broke a tooth and had to spend 2.5 hours at the dentist waiting for them to fit me in. I'm very grateful that they did, though - that's definitely a happy!

Meh: Meeting went relatively well. Ended up scrubbing most of the first paper though. On the other hand, got just over a page written for the second one. Still freaking out about actually getting either written. Taking a break now to surf LT and study for Anthropology final tomorrow morning. At least its not cumulative!

Oh dear! Reading through this thread is such a rollercoaster, but feels like much more down than up :(

Hugs to all that want or need them!

Not too many happy dances happening so I'll add mine...

A bit of background (trying to figure out how to explain enough to make sense without overloading on info) - I work in a call centre taking billings & faults calls for a water company, but I also do a role called "propertyflow" which is dealing with solicitors & conveyancors & organising information statements which they need to put together section 32's for sales of properties. I really enjoy the propertyflow role, it breaks up the day nicely so I'm not talking to customers all day & its interesting & occasionally challenging work. Anyway, I job share the propertyflow role, one week on, one week off, the girl I was originally job sharing with (Penny) moved off to annother department (big bummer, not only did we work well together, but we're good friends now too) & we got a new girl Christina in, I was supposed to train her up, then leave the role for someone else to try (as they call it a development opportunity) & Christina would train them & then it was meant to be on a 6 month rotational secondment. The company has now realised that the role is a bit too challenging to be chopping & changing so often & also realised that I'm pretty darn good at it, so they've decided that after Christina's secondment is up, they'll give it to me full time (well, not full time, its only half the day but it'll be me every week, not week on week off). So I'm happy dancing coz I get to keep the role I enjoy so much & I get a little more responsibility which is a bit scary, but its nice to know my manager has this much faith in me :) Also means I've got some good backup for my step application which will mean a pay rise for me!

Also happy coz I've been in my house 6 months now, it really is home & Me, Taj & Tilly (my cats for those who dont know) are very happy there :)

Those are wonderful news, Seanie, congratulations! :)
Made me smile just reading it, especially the part about your home!

Agreed on the general sentiment of the thread Seanie, the metaphorical feces seem to be hitting the fan for a lot of people all at once. :(

I'm getting progressively more stressed because I've got progressively less time to write this paper, and I can't seem to get anything written. Just spent the past two hours or so playing around on the interwebs checking e-mail and doing other stuff instead of studying for my anthro final. Now I'm going to go to bed to try to get some rest before getting up to take a walk at 7 and study some more before sitting for the test. Maybe I'll feel better after I get one of my finals out of the way. Not that it'll help with the lack of progress on the paper, but at least it'll be something. I think I'm going to g talk to my learning skills coach at the normal time too. We've known each other long enough that maybe she'll have some idea of how to get me out of this f***ing rut.

Busy at work, stressing if I can get it all done, and wondering what it is I am forgetting (or ignorant of) to do.

But, just got an e-mail CC naming me the project lead on a different project. I knew I would be working on that project (current project ends Monday, GASP), but we hadn't discussed titles yet. In my current role I am project lead, but I kinda rolled into this one (last project lead quit with 5 months left in the project and no time to find a new one). This is my chance to slowly ease myself into that role without formally applying for such a job... :D

I have a happy! I've now been at my work 5 years and just received my 5 year bonus. Now whilst it may be a bit sucky for 5 years service, it is far better than nothing. We get it in voucher form, so I now have £100 Amazon vouchers to spend.

*Drools*...

I too have worked for my current employer in 5 years, which means I got an extra week paid vacation this year! Yes!!! BIG happy :D

Another happy: this morning when I left home the plumber arrived. His objective for today is to get our bathroom connected. YES!!! Almost six weeks of having no bathroom is finally over!!! *holding thumbs, you never know with workmen, lol*

Busifer, I'm delighted for you (provisionally) but if I'd been without a bathroom for 6 weeks there would be other things that I'd be holding ;-)

Barry, you made me laugh.

I also have a happy (about time, right?). Last night I went out to call my lost kitty one more time before bed, and found her on the front step. When I opened the door she ran like a rabbit. So - I live in a very small town - I left the front door open and went back to my chair. In about 20 minutes, she strolled in and headed for her food dish!!!

So the KittyMonster is home where she belongs, and apparently not much the worse for wear in spite of being out all day and night during rain, wind, lightning, and tornado warnings. Now if I could just move without having to peel her off me first. I think she's glad to be home.

Mary, I'm glad. Lavatorial humour is a speciality of mine, it comes with my job.

I'm also pleased to hear of your kitten. We're having cat problems of our own at the moment so it's nice to hear of people finding solutions. After four years of being owned by Zoe (see my profile photo) we have to take her to the vet for the second time in two weeks on Friday for some fairly drastic cat surgery. Fortunately, it's not too expensive but we still tossed and turned as to whether it's the right thing as she's well into middle age already.

"lavatorial humour" *giggle/snort*

Best wishes for Zoe.

279 Rune
I'm glad she's going to be gone soon, she sounds like a nightmare! Good for you for standing up to her and doing what had to be done, I know that's not always easy.

280 tardis
That's miserable! All those books! Have they considered having sales so the books aren't just tossed? So sad. But at least you still have a job...

Definitely unhappy here. I've been sick with what turned out to be a massive allergy attack (pollen etc) for the past week and a half. I've been getting 2-3 hours of sleep per night, max, and I've missed two dance classes, one pottery class, and one game night *sigh* I went to the doctor and got some prescriptions, so hopefully I'll be better in a few days. Hopefully. I never had these allergies before, which is why I didn't recognize it, but my immediate family is saying "Oh, so you're related to us after all!".

#290 - I was just planning an answer to #288 and then came upon #290... which kind of defused my attempts of counter-lavatorial jokes ;-)

Anyway, we have a second wc so the situation have been manageable... but a full size bathroom, with tub, is much longed for. And here comes the unhappy: no tub installed today, and they managed to install the wrong ******* WC!!!
How hard can it be?!?!?!

/"¤%#&!#)/!&

#286
Amazon vouchers!?!? plural!?!?! *turns green with envy*

#289
Yay! I'm glad you found her... or she found you. :)

#290
Ohh I commiserate with your cat conundrum. I hope everything turns out fine.

There's still no news on the new puppy front, but we're still not sure if we really want one. It's just too soon. Thankfully, both mom and one of my sisters (the ones whom Max actually lived with in the same house) are traveling abroad for a few weeks, so it'll give them time to heal.

My happy? I'm just glad I've lived to see another day. Been in a weird blue mood lately, but this, too, shall pass.

Meh: Well, with an ~an hour till my anthro final, I'm feeling like I've studied as much as I can. Now just sort of hanging out giving my brain a rest before sitting for the test, after which I'll be going to lunch and spending most of the afternoon working on getting something written for my PoR paper.

#293 if you could keep your fingers crossed for another couple of months I can promise you exciting developments in the world of Scandinavian ablutions!

DEL: good luck with the final

Way to tease, Barry! Now I'm dying to know what could make baths more exciting.

I would think someone from the Beautiful People thread could make baths more exciting. Hmmm . . .

As long as it's not the disgusting, triple yuck Adrien Brody.

Brody and zombies...my idea of a good time.

Unhappy that turned into a happy: Anthro final was horrible, prof broke the pattern he'd followed the entire semester until now, and I didn't study quite as well as I thought, plus I didn't bother reading the ethnography we were supposed to, because we only talked about it in class once, and it didn't come up on any previous test. It was just my luck that it was the focus of one of 2 essay questions this time around! *face-palm* This turned into a happy because I found out that at least one other person did horribly, and then remembered the prof curves the grades, so I'm not completely screwed. Now I'm going to bite the bullet and get the first part of my two-part Philosophy of Religion paper written today.

Unhappy: I innocently posted to an ER thread about an MG book not received and thoroughly chastised for it. I wasn't trying to stir the pot, really I wasn't....

*frown*

Just wanted to know if there were others like me who hadn't received it, that's all.

*sad face*

I was having a good day today, too. :(

Frustrated: 4 pages into a minimum 8 pages for part one of my philosophy paper, and I'm bogged down. Turns out it was "easier" than I thought, in that all he wanted was a summary of the chapter in our own words, but now I'm getting bogged down in the language. Why the hell do philosophers feel the need to use so many damn 25 cent words when something simpler would do a better job? I thought the idea behind philosophy was precision, not completely confusing the hell out of the reader. And to think I'm taking another philosophy class next semester, maybe I'm a masochist, IDK. Then again, I'm only taking one, as opposed to two at the same time this semester.

Don't let the turkeys get you down, Pandora. There are people who want to jump all over others on this site, but they are, thank goodness, the minority. Most people want to be helpful and encouraging and friendly, I've found.

(((Hugs)))

Thank you ejj1955! *hugs back*

I needed that. I am a sensitive person, to be sure. But because my post was an innocent one, I was surprised at the response it got. Esp since, IME as well, most people on this site are as you say 'helpful and encouraging and friendly'.

That is why I took refuge here at the GD. Makes me all the more appreciative of the warm and caring people here. :)

I'm home from the hospital and very, very happy about it. Unhappy that I'm on IV antibiotics again.

/big hug/ Morphidae

I am sorry. I certainly hope and am holding my thumbs, that the antibiotics do their best right a way, pretty damn quick!

Love you, girl. Get well ASAP!

Morphidae, did you look at the poke Morphy site? We've all been thinking about you.

I'm glad to hear you are home, hospitals are no place to be sick in! We have, indeed, all been missing you.

Big happy - graduation is on for real! Now I have to hurry up tomorrow and get the announcements done. Nothing like waiting until the last minute, right? At least the people who are actually coming all know about it. Everyone else is out of state, so if their announcement is late, it's ok.

Yay! Very cool news cm!

Happy: Just broke 6 pages on part one of my Philosophy of Religion final paper. Going to try to get it finished tonight, but depending on how late it gets, may call it quits before its done.

minor happy: Roomie/friend gave me a mouse, free of charge earlier this evening. One less non-book thing to buy!

cmbohn - I am so happy that things worked out for your daughter! Please tell her I said congratulations!

Congratuations, cmbohn!

Morphy, we're glad you're back. I hope the antibiotics do the trick soon.

Though I'm at work, tired, I'm happy. I was having trouble falling asleep last night, and staring to feel the existential despair of being lonely and awake, and then I glanced to my right to see my girlfriend sleeping peacefully. The only light in the room was the greenish-blue hue of the christmas lights I have strung up around my window. It cast a quiet, benthic glow to my otherwise dark room.

The soft, sea-green illumination on her beautiful face as she breathed slowly and rhythmically soothed me as not much else could. I was thankful she was there, and in my life generally.

All was serene. It made me smile, and I returned to reading for another 30 minutes. I then removed my contacts and unplugged the lights. I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her, and settled in to sleep.

You are so much the cutey Monohex! You make me feel jaded :) It's been suddenly and ridiculously hot over here and every time I wake up (and can't get back to sleep) and look over, my hubby is a solid wall of gentle sleep mixed with massive heat... bless him.

Freaking out - too much to do, too many decisions, not enough time! I need some Xanax or Valium or something.

Pause. Breathe. Relax. Whatever you do will be enough.

Guilty admission: I overbuy from the Schwan's guy in part because he's cute.

(In case Schwan's isn't international, check out http://www.schwans.com)

>320 walk2work:
Do they still sell the neopolitan ice cream sammiches? Mmmmmmmmmmm

cmbohn, great news! Tell your daughter congratulations. :)

deus, I'm really hoping you mean a computer mouse. Otherwise, I'm sure we'd like to know what you are doing with a live mouse. :D

morphy, glad that you're back from the hospital. Hope you get off the antibiotics soon!

mono, your girlfriend is very lucky.

I've a little happy; yesterday I finally got free of the 'burbs and made it to downtown. It's been a really long time since I've been out with any girlfriends. We went to one gal's house for coffee and pastries, wandered around the historic kitschy shops, and had lunch at a sidewalk cafe. To top it all off, we wandered into a used bookstore and I found a rare first edition of one of my favourite books for only $1!!!! I was so excited I was physically shaking (but in a good way).

Little unhappy that I'm missing the old boyfriend a lot. It was this time last year that we met, so everything I'm doing this week reminds me of him. Things will get better in a week or so, but it's rough. However, I have my new/old book to distract my mind. :)

322> Yes, I meant a computer mouse. Guess I've been around geeks and nerds so long, the distinction never really occurred to me. :)

Normally I wouldn't give it a second thought, but these cat-people types are rubbing off on me. ;)

I don't feel happy or sad about this, but the young man that was driving the car which almost killed my son was finally arrested today. I think I just feel resolved.

*BIG HUGS for MrsLee*

I am glad the man responsible was arrested, at least there is (some) closure in the matter there. Very sorry to hear about your son, but I am glad that he survived!

My cousin was killed in a car crash by a drunk driver some time ago. The man responsible was arrested and jailed; there was at least some justice there but, as you say not happy or sad, just resolved, as how I remember feeling at the time.

Warm wishes for you & your son, MrsLee. (((MrsLee)))

Thank you PandorasRequiem.

#325 - Does it also mean he's going to jail? In Sweden "arrested" is only a term meaning you detain someone for the duration of the investigation, based on strong evidence suggesting the person is either the actual perpetrator OR will impede the investigation if he's on the loose.

Anyway, I'm glad he's not going to escape blame but can't but wonder if prison will make him change for the better (given he's going to jail).

#328 - I'm not entirely clear on the legal process, but I know that he is in jail at the moment, possibly for a few days, but then I believe he will have a hearing, where he pleads either "guilty" or "not guilty." I've heard they set a fairly high bail for him, but I don't think they will hold him in jail until the trial, which could be a long time in the future. It's all somewhat confusing. If he pleads guilty, I think everything will move quickly, he would probably face a fine and some work (I'm not sure what they call it, but rather than serve time, they work off the time). Even though it was a Felony warrant, I don't think (and I hope not) he will be sent to prison.

#329 - OK. We don't have the system with bail in Sweden. Either you're expected to behave while waiting for your trial and set loose, with restrictions, or you're kept in jail. And here it doesn't matter if you plead guilty or not - you're found guilty, or not, and if you and your legal advise disagree with the court on the verdict you have to move on to a court higher up in the judicial system. Also, all trials except Freedom of Press Act cases are tried by a professional court - no laymen involved in the actual judgement (there is politically appointed laymen there to advice the court, nothing more). Freedom of Press Act cases is the only kind of case tried by a jury.

>329 MrsLee: It sounds like "community service"--the work people are expected to perform to help make up for their crimes. It's usually presented in movies or TV as something like picking up garbage, but really includes any number of volunteer activities, including, for example, having a person convicted of drunk driving speak to school students about the consequences of the choice he/she made.

Sadly after having been assured the bill would be €100 for today's trip to the vet it turned into €280 and despite explaining to the vet that the cat lived outdoors and couldn't come in due to our daughters allergies he has now treated her in such a way that she has to stay in for two weeks so my first job this evening is cat proofing the barn so we'll see if she can be persuaded to stay there. I apologise to all you cat lovers out there but we both find it pretty offensive to spend so much on an animal and had we known the disruption she would have caused this way she probably wouldn't have come back from the vets.

I can definitely understand you. When our late namesake cat was about 7 years old he chewed down a rubber toy. It got stuck in his stomach, which got trashed. He was insured so we "only" ended up paying 7000 SEK (€718/US$882) for contrast x-rays, surgery, and post-op intensive care. Had he been uninsured we'd had to pay about 21000 SEK (€2153/US$2146). No wonder the vet at the animal hospital asked if we really wanted him to do it...

A couple of years ago we then decided that if something like that happened again he would have to go to rest eternal. Some things DO have a price, whether you want it or not.

As hard as it is to do, it is a good idea to have an amount of money in one's mind as the number over which you will not go. The immediacy of your pet being sick and suffering in front of your face makes reasonable decision making a bit more difficult. Sigh.

My happy is that mom (and aunt) has arrived safely in Mallorca after a long, long flight. Yay!

They left last night. We had dinner with them at the airport café, very nice. But my sisters and I were worrying A LOT today, since it's a 9+-hour flight and mom is a diabetic, and it's the first time she's going to be gone for so long (month and a half), and... etc... We mother her more than she mothers us, I can tell you that!

But today my sister called her and she was ecstatic! It's the first time she's been back to Mallorca after more than 10 years, and alllll her cousins and family went to receive her at the airport.

My only unhappy is that I'm jealous because I can't be there. :) But next year, here I come!

HAPPY: I'm all done with school for the year! Now I get to pack up to go home for a week before coming back to a summer job (volunteer position, but the college agreed to let me stay in college housing over the summer and parents are helping pay for food) which I hope to turn into a paid job next year.

DEL, and you got all your papers done, right?!
Congrats.

That I did. Now packing so I can hang out with friends later tonight.

small, niggling, little worry....hubby showed his doctor a small sore on his back that he's had for months and she is sending him to a dermatalogist to have it biopsied. She also told him that he missed an appointment months ago to do xrays on his lungs since the last one showed a small spot on one. I'm like "Why didn't you go to that appointment?" he says he forgot, didn't think it was anything. He's been joking around saying when he gets cancer he's going to do _____(mostly bad things there) So I said "Not so funny now is it?" the thing is his stomach has been bothering him for a long time, making him sick and sometimes he doesn't eat....so I'm worried

(((Polly))) Hoping for the best. Let us know how it goes.

thanks, i will. The thing about Jim is with his addiction problems, the things he should stop doing are the very things he won't!

Holding thumbs for Polly.

My happy: We survived graduation! Everything went fine, we got there in plenty of time, got lots of pictures, went to one party afterward, and we're having having another one today. The weather isn't going to cooperate, but what can you do? I will post pics of the graduate as soon as I can.

Minor grumble that my folks drive me slightly nuts, but again, what can you do?

Minor minor issues. LT's misbehaving, not saving book edits and maybe my talk posts?

ya, me too, having problems with LT. Not showing that I've read latest posts in threads. Delays. I think I'll just take a break and go wash dishes.

Minor grumble: Yesterday I scanned some book covers for books I have that don't already have covers in the system. A couple of them either didn't upload properly or didn't show up. Hoping its fixed now.

Happy: Going home for a week! ;) I haven't been home since Christmas break, so I'm looking forward to it. This is the longest I've ever been away from home.

#335 - What part of Mallorca?

The island is beautiful in February, when the almonds bloom, and reasonably good weather too (if you're not after sun bathing, lol), not to mention it's rebajas season there then, with very few people in the shops. Else I think it a bit on the touristy side, drenched as it becomes in hordes of Scandinavian and German tourists. Kind of hides the beauty...

I have a colleague who've just bought an apartment on the east coast, and me and my family are discussing renting it some time next year. If you're going, and know far in advance, we might be able to meet up :D

(Not that I'm sure we're going, yet, but... *shrugs*)

Minor happy: Checked this morning and at least one of the covers is showing up, so good times there.

Bit bigger happy: Currently sitting in the train station waiting to go home. You know you're a bibliophile when you're looking forward to access to some awesome brick and mortar bookstores as much as visiting people you haven't seen in months.

Minor Happy: Not having been home in almost half a year, I'd forgotten I had any of my collection at home, so I walk into my bedroom at my parents' house with its full bookshelf, and its almost like getting a whole bookshelf of new books.

#341 Polly
The thing about Jim is with his addiction problems, the things he should stop doing are the very things he won't!

Oh how I wish he were the only one with that problem!

I hope all turns out well.

Pretty sure that's true of all of us to some extent. Just different sets of addictions.

BN: I've been obsessively playing a Facebook game. I'm sure it'll wear off in a day or two, but for now . . . time waster extraordinaire.

it's frakkin' snowing again !!!!!

We had snow Monday. It's crazy weather year.

Happy that all the graduations stuff went well. I had a better time with my folks today.

Unhappy that I think I've got a sinus infection.

Oh, but happy that I have work on Tuesday and Wednesday so far, maybe Friday too. And I still need to apply for this other job that I really want. I hate online applications - they are so complicated and I am having a hard time with it right now. But I really need a better job, so I need to keep looking. My boss at See's said he would be happy to give me a good reference, which made me feel good.

#346
She's in Palma right now. Well, actually Palma Nova, the new section. My aunt has an apartment there. My mother's family (from my grandmother's side) lives in Palma proper. The family from my grandfather's side is from Algaida.

Ohh I do want to go next year! February sounds nice, since I'm not really into the touristy bit with the hordes of people and I like cool weather. If not, then September or so, I imagine autumn is beautiful there too. It'd give me more time to save up money for the trip.

I'll definitely let you know if I'm going, should be cool to meet up! :D

>351 tardis: - Tardis - come up here and work on my garden! The weather's great here - no snow! However the great spring we've had leads to a very minor unhappy - I have to cut the grass, don't think I've ever had to do that in May before. (Come to think of it, I think I had to cut it in October, too. Is this global warming?)

Got to spend some time yesterday with three of my soldiers from Iraq. It was good to see them but now feeling kinda melancholy. No matter how much time passes, I will worry about them and always consider them my responsibility. Of course Old Sarge was answering questions they had about veteran's benefits.

It took some time to convince them to just call me Michael and not Sergeant, although the measure of respect they still hold for me was touching.

Going to try very hard today to hold it together emotionally during our wreath laying ceremony with the VFW.

#353 - I too think September should be a great month on Mallorca.
Palma is nice, even Palma Nova is. My FIL and his wife stayed there one winter, and we went visiting, staying in the apartment they had rented. We walked from there and into Palma proper every day, and it wasn't that far.

You only have to ignore the restaurants offering Swedish menus ;-)

Found a way to observe Trinity Sunday and also honor Memorial Day during worship this morning. I was not sure it would all come together, but it seems to have done.

I would not have expected it, but the experience has got me really looking forward to the local Memorial Day observance tomorrow. I think I needed this, today, to be ready for tomorrow.

#356
Haha! I'm just dreaming about ensaïmadas and sobrassada (for this, I give up my vow of not eating meat!) and panades and cocarrois... and paella, obviously. :)

#358 - There's a large Scandinavian expat community on Mallorca, centred in Palma Nova - much as there's a large British expat community on Menorca (different reasons, though). That means it's easier to get Swedish Meatballs in brown cream sauce than ensaïmadas in some neighbourhoods. So my warning is for real ;P

(It's even worse at Costa del Sol, south of Malaga, on the Iberian peninsula, though. We couldn't even find a bar serving real Andalucian tapas. But then the British carry their local foods with them in suitcases when they go abroad, so I guess the money was in serving imported beers and Shepherd's Pie.)

Minor happy: after two hours on the phone, I managed to get the router fixed so that I have wireless Internet access again! I was in LT withdrawal.

cm - Glad that your daughter graduated.

Morph - I hope that you are well soon and glad that you are home.

Deus - Glad that you finished the semester. Those Philosophy papers are no joke and take about three times as long to write as any other subject. Sigh.

OldSarge - good luck today with the ceremony - glad that you could connect with your men.

Another minor happy - this is such an international community - Mallorca? Just wow.

Big happy- my little "sis" graduated this weekend! She looked so grown up, gave a wonderful speech, and really fit in well with her graduating class. I can hardly believe that the little 5 year old I met all those years ago has turned into such a lovely young woman. :)

happy: Just got back from a visit with my guru. Haven't seen him in months and it was great to get to sit and talk and meditate with him again. He's a bit of a bookworm too, and loaned me a few to read, as well as buying a couple for me :) . His son, who is a good acquaintance of mine, was visiting as well, so got to chat with him for a while.

Unhappy: when I started up my laptop, on arrival at the office, it died on me. Just plain died. Not even a bluescreen to mock me. I had unbackuped work from the past weekend on it. Called service desk in Bangalore and told them reformat was not an option, lol - I need those files!

I waited half an hour, then I went to the computer tech who survived the off shoring. Been on a roller coaster since, I'm holding my thumbs for him being able to recover the data (if not the computer itself...).

Meanwhile I'm at the office with nothing to do but wait. I'm glad I at least have a smartphone ;-)

It's been a while, so hopefully it's working now! What a pain.

Glad you saw your men OldSarge. Hoping the ceremony goes well for you today. I watched the National Memorial Day concert broadcast and nearly cried a few times. We owe a tremendous debt to those who serve our country.

On the same note, I'm going to dh's grave today. Need to get some flowers and take my son down. I'm from the mountains, and we have always honored all the dead at this time.

Happy: My fantastic neighbor, while on a holiday and recovering from flu, came over and fixed my lawnmower. He also inspected the icemaker and the leaky faucet, and will pick the parts up for those tomorrow. God bless him, I need to whip up a major batch of cookies for him.

Unhappy: Short version, they think my dad has non-cancerous cysts in his prostate and he will have surgery just days before I leave for my UK vacation. Speaking of which, it's coming up fast and I'm in panic mode. Ack!

#364 - Sadly no. The tech managed to recover the files but they're resting on a disc at his office, waiting for the new hard disc to arrive some time in the future. Meanwhile, I ran past him on my way from the office, transferring the most critical files to a CD. So now I'm trying to get work done using my husband's tower PC. That PC lack MS Office, which is what I use for writing the reports I'm currently working on. Also, the ergonomics is a PAIN. The chair is too low and husband uses a flatscreen TV as monitor, so I can't tilt it (and it's too bright, and too low re my eye level, and... generally argh). Not to mention the truly HORRIBLE bad clattering keyboard *shudders*

The irony is recently company policy forced hard disc encryption. I managed to evade, for some reason unknown to me. And the only reason my files was recoverable was the disc wasn't encrypted. Ha!
That encryption scheme has been nothing but trouble anyway!

Thanks CitizenJoyce, I just saw your post. I know there are many, many with the same problems, loving an addict/alcoholic is heartbreaking

#367 - (((hugs)))

thx, ;.)

Adding to my computer related pains - Have I ever told how much I hate Explorer?!?! It's the browser of choice for my husband but I think it despiccable useless junk. But I can't change the set up on his computer just because I need use it for a day or two, can I?

*sigh*

You need an emergency USB drive with Portable Firefox (or your preferred browser) on it for emergencies like this!

Definitely. It was a plan, but until now left unimplemented ;-)

Busifer, I give you my permission to change everything - it's what I do (although they do whinge a bit but I like to think of it as 'education') ;-)

;-)
I think I'll snatch back my old laptop for a while. It has transferred to our son and is slow like treacle, but at least it's me that have configured it so it behaves the way I want it to.

Is it Monday, or what? Laptop crash. Then son starts to vomit 30 minutes ago, and just now a tooth broke.

Just what I don't need.

>374 Busifer: (and previous) You may be beyond this need by now, but you can download Open Source office software for free and use that to work on Word, Excel, etc. documents. I believe it's from the same folks who brought us Linux and such . . . I have Ubunto on my desktop and I love love love it.

I think you need a vacation! Alone on a tropic isle! with a hot guy nd unlimited drinks and food of course

#376 - I've tried to avoid politics but I have one more unhappy today. This morning the Israeli navy hunted down and boarded a convoy headed for Gaza. The convoy was humanitarian help. It was attacked on international water. In itself this merits anger and protests. But what's more is that an acquaintance of mine, a professor of Comparative Religion, might have gotten killed in that attack.

For the first time in ages I felt a strong urge to join the rally this evening but son was in bad shape so we stayed at home - husband worked late, so... Given how son's "I don't feel well" evolved that was smart BUT...

#375 - It's what I would had done if I hadn't had MS Office on this not very fast laptop. It also runs Atlantis software, used to convert Word files to epub format so the situation wasn't eternally hopeless. But today seems to be just such a crap day *sigh*

Slight worry: The books are coming via FedEx on Thursday. Only problem is there's a possibility I'll be gone all day, as I might be going to work with my mom. You don't have to sign for a FedEx package, do you?

>378 DeusExLibrus: I think it depends--but maybe try leaving a note for them asking them to leave the package if you are not there? Might work.

I'm feeling sad & a bit sick :( One of my online friends on a cat forum I visit, had one of their cats killed by a car last night :( After reading about it not only was I in tears for her, but all I could think was how much of a devastated mess I would be if it was one of my furkids :(

I have started a new thread here: http://www.librarything.com/talktopic.php?topic=92168