Skinny Dip

Chaz Perrone, an unimaginably despicable character, throws his wife, Joey, off a cruise ship on their anniversary. But Joey, an excellent swimmer, survives the night in the Atlantic with a bit of help from a floating bale of marijuana. She is rescued by a retired Miami cop, and together, they find clever ways to give Chaz the comeuppance he richly deserves. Skinny Dip is Carl Hiaasen at his mordant, snarky best.

Chaz Perrone is a marine biologist that hates wildlife and basically all outdoors activities that don’t involve golf. He’s falsifying phosphorus testing results to benefit mega-farmer Red Hammernut (one of the best names ever), whose operation relies on “rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of immigrant labor.”

When Chaz thinks his wife, Joey, has stumbled onto his scheme, he tries to kill her by throwing her off a ship during their anniversary cruise. Joey survives by clinging to a bale of pot until she is rescued by the early-retired, island-living cop, Mick Stranahan, who now lives a “slow-motion existence, revolving peaceably as it did around a dog, a boat and some corroded fishing gear.” There are many show more schemes and counter-schemes that stem from Chaz’s plots and stupidity.

Most people get what they deserve in Carl Hiaasen’s novels. It’s satisfying that way. There is order in his extremely disorderly world. His characters are some of the best in fiction and his plots are complicated but somehow logical enough to follow without hurting yourself. He has a solid bead on the madness of South Florida. And the humor is some of the best in fiction. show less

On a Caribbean cruise to celebrate their second wedding anniversary, a man shoves his wife overboard, leaving her in the middle of the ocean to either drown or be eaten by sharks. She does neither, though, and instead clings to a bale of marijuana that a smuggler has dumped overboard. The bale carrying the dehydrated and disoriented woman drifts into the vicinity of a retired investigator who lives on an unpopulated island off the Florida coast while he tries to sort out the pieces of his own broken life. Together, the detective and the woman plot her revenge while trying to figure out exactly what went wrong with her marriage. Naturally, the two fall in love—or at least something that approximates love under the circumstances—while show more they solve the crime and help stem the tide of the ecological destruction of the Everglades in the process.

Does any of that—which is the essential plot of Skinny Dip--sound plausible? Of course not, but then implausibility is a big part of the charm of any Carl Hiaasen novel, this one being no exception. Hiaasen definitely mines a familiar vein here, with the usual cast of greedy South Florida low-lifes and con artists doing their usual best to promote their own self-interests while leaving the environment and their fellow men to pay the toll. However, as is also the case in the author’s work, the good guys and gals show remarkable resourcefulness and ultimately win, while the bad guys ultimately lose (some more than others in this case). While Skinny Dip will never be mistaken for Serious Literature—or even place among the best of the mystery genre—it is a cleverly plotted romp that is also very funny despite the occasionally heavy-handed promotion of social causes. It would make a perfect summer beach read, particularly if that beach is located somewhere near Miami! show less

Audiobook read by Stephen Hoye

On their anniversary cruise, Chaz Perrone throws his wife Joey overboard. He has to kill her because she’s discovered his secret. But Joey was a champion swimmer in college and she manages to survive the night, clinging to a bale of Jamaican weed. She’s rescued by Mick Stranahan, former investigator for the Dade State Attorney’s office, now “retired” and living on a remote island with his dog Strom. Rather than go to the police, Joey convinces Mick that they should “mess with Chaz” until he goes bonkers. And the fun begins.

This is typical Hiaasen: outlandish situations and inept crooks with a dose of environmental concern. The bad guys are, as usual the most colorful of the lot – a hirsute show more giant with an addiction to painkillers, an incompetent scientist who would rather be golfing (when he’s not boinking his mistress), and a moneyed “farmer” who believes environmental regulations don’t (or shouldn’t) apply to him. The women are naïve one minute and incredibly clever when scorned. As usual they get the best of the bad guys. The good guys – Detective Rolvaag and Mick – are straight arrows, strong, and silent. They have their own quirks, of course – Rolvaag has two pet pythons, and Mick has been married six times – but they are definitely good guys. Recurring character Skink makes a brief appearance, though his name is never used (but who can forget a one-eyed hermit given to wearing a plastic shower cap and eating road kill?).

I love Hiaasen’s books for their wit and craziness. Like his others, this novel is a fast read and entertaining from the first sentence to the last.

Stephen Hoye does a fine job narrating the audio version. He has a good pace and his interpretation is at once incredulous and resigned to the craziness. He brings this zany cast of characters to life. show less

Someone recommended Carl Hiaasen’s latest book to me, Bad Monkey. But I am not as dumb as I may appear! From the effusive encomium of this trusted recommender, I knew I would like this guy, so I went back a bit in time to acquaint myself with this author. That way, when I found that I loved him, I wouldn’t have to go totally backwards in my reading, which I hate doing! Skinny Dip is a crime novel that sits heads and shoulders above the usual fare, for its characterizations, biting and witty social satire, madcap noirish humor (sort of like the Coen Brothers) and deft writing in general. I am delighted to have discovered this author, and even more so to find out that there are many more of his books to read!

As you discover right in show more the beginning, Chaz Peronne, good-looking, but good-for-nothing, as well as vapid, contemptible, and greedy, dumps his wife Joey off the deck of a ship on a cruise to celebrate their second wedding anniversary. Joey can swim, but eventually she tires out. However, she lucks out by bumping into a floating bale of Jamaican pot. She hangs on until she is rescued by Mick Stranahan, a 53-year-old ex-cop who now lives on a remote island off the coast of Miami.

Once she recovers, Joey has no interest in calling the police; she wants revenge on Chaz, and Mick agrees to help her. Meanwhile, back on shore, a transplanted Norwegian detective from Minnesota, Karl Rolvaag, who likes to pretend he’s in the script of the movie Fargo, doesn’t buy Chaz’s story that his wife’s death was an accident. So Rolvaag also goes after Chaz.

And that’s not all! Chaz is also being watched by “Tool,” a humongous bodyguard sent by Red Hammernut, his corrupt boss, who worries that Chaz will become unstable and spill the beans about their depredation of the Everglades. Tool is, to me, the best character in the book: very large, very dumb, but soft-hearted, lonely, and more open to new ideas and new relationships than anyone else in the story. The person he finds to fill the holes in his life creates the best and most touching story of the book.

The noose tightens around Chaz, with a corresponding increase in zaniness in the story. I don't think it's purely coincidental that one of the characters loves Fargo - there are many similarities. The story wraps up in a satisfying way, with "cosmic justice" for all!

Discussion: There are several hilarious ongoing jokes in this book, from Chaz’s relationship to his male member, to Tool’s love of collecting roadside crosses, to the trials and tribulations of criminals. Hiaasen integrates them into the story so well, and in just the right proportions, that it is never tedious or repetitive, but rather delightfully entertaining. Mick Stranahan may be an “old geezer” as Joey calls him affectionally, but he is one of the most endearing as well as romantic characters I have encountered in fiction. And Rolvaag: how subtle and funny, and how lovable as well. He too has an unusual way to deal with his loneliness, and one that is also very funny.

This author not only writes books for adults, but has won the coveted Newbery Honor for his debut children’s book. He churns out those now too, as well as some non-fiction. His books get gushing reviews and now I can see why. I can’t wait to tackle more of his oeuvre!

Evaluation: This book is clever, zany, and heartwarming all at once. It’s a quick, entertaining read, and yet it is much more memorable than most in this category. Highly recommended! show less

Typical Hiaasen fare with the older lonely outcast, younger woman with an edge, environmental crooks and greatly crafted supporting characters, not to mention a cameo by Skink. The only letdown was the ending. It wasn't a typical dark, morbid, macabre (yet hilarious) Hiaasen ending. Please tell me he isn't getting soft in his old age. Other than a somewhat unsatisfying ending, this was an excellently crafted novel.

There are a lot of things that Chaz isn’t good at - marriage, his job, telling the truth, and murder, but he is good at fraud, at least for a while. He throws his wife off a cruise ship, but she manages to survive, and at that point, Chaz is in for a boat-load of trouble, all of it deserved. Author Carl Hiaasen has liberally dosed this tale with humor, made sure the good guys come out on top, and even redeems a bad guy through an unusual relationship. This fun read is a quirky ride through the swampy land of the Everglades and is peopled with equally quirky characters sure to entertain you from beginning to end.