Fated

I read "Fated" after "Daniel Deronda" and it was like a playful, fun dessert after a heavy main course.

Think Ile Flottante in creme anglaise.
Think strawberry gelato with dark chocolate wafer straws.
Think passionfruit souffle in a caramelized sugar cage.

Browne is quirky, funny, and chockful of cultural references as always. There are parts of "Fated" which read like male fantasy, but as the book progresses and the character Fate transforms, we see him mature - and that's the whole point. The novel ultimately is about the power of love: first towards another person, and then as a means of transcending the cynicism many of us tend to fall into about humanity, with all of its consumerism, substance abuse, and brutality towards others show more which prevent mankind from living up to its true potential. There is a soft side and a hope to this book underneath the humor that I really enjoyed.

The concept of the immortals and all of their foibles is interesting, Browne hits us with humor in a variety of ways, and Fate's inevitable march towards, well, his own fate is engaging from beginning to end. It's a very satisfying read, and one which continues to show how much promise Browne has as an author.

Quotes:
On the potential in all of us; this is between two homeless people:
"Would you believe me if I told you I used to be immortal?' I say.
She looks at me and smiles with a nod. 'We all used to be.'"

On humanity:
"I don't need to know someone's past in order to make them feel better about their future.
I don't need to know why someone's hungry in order to get them some food.
I don't need to know why someone's cold in order to make them warm.
I don't need to know why someone's depressed in order to give them hope."

On love; I love the 'pilgrim' analogy and the reply:
"'God?' she says, letting out a puff of smoke as she hands the joint to me. 'Do you believe in God?'
This is not the postcoital conversation I want to have. Problem is, after good sex, I tend to open up like a penitent pilgrim in front of the pope.
...
'When I look at you, I do.'
Funny thing is, that's not what I planned to say. But it seems to do the trick, because she smiles and drops the conversation and sticks her tongue down my throat."

"love is like a good book you can't put down and you wish would never end. But with Infatuation and Lust, rather than enjoying how the story unfolds, you just skip to the last chapter."

"She pulls back and looks at me, her face an exquisite work of art I picture in perfect detail when I close my eyes.
'Promise to stalk me later?' she asks.
Like I have to promise."

On happiness:
"Honestly, I don't understand how human beings ended up like this. They're the only creatures on the planet who think they're supposed to be happy. They worry about money and their future and their legacy. They worry about war and disease and death. They worry about sex and love and relationships. But mostly they worry about why they're not happy."

On death:
"Dennis once told me being Death was like conducting an orchestra that had been playing the same symphony forever and that he'd become so familiar with every meter and measure and movement he no longer gave any thought to his actions. The orchestra of death just came to him naturally."

On men:
"Humans are so simple. Especially human men. Tell them how to avoid spending their nights masturbating and they'll follow you anywhere. The only real difference between male humans and male dogs is that the humans generally won't try to hump your leg."

Lastly, excerpts of stuff that I found just plain funny:
"Sometimes I like to wear something incendiary just to see how humans will react. True, it's technically interfering, but I haven't drastically changed anyone's fate by doing it. Except this one time when I swung by the Tower of London during Henry VIII's reign wearing a tunic that read, Your Wife is a Treasonous Whore."

"As soon as Sara shows up, we sit down at the kitchen table to eat mango prawns and General Tso's chicken. Just for the record, General Tso didn't care for sweet-and-spicy deep-fried chicken. Spicy food irritated his bowels. But he was a sucker for custard pie."

"When one of us says, Speak of the devil, it's not uncommon to actually see Satan come strolling through the door. And when that happens, it's a good idea to just mind your own business. You don't want to get on Satan's bad side, especially now that he's trying to quit smoking." show less

The thing about Fabio is that he's Fate, and being Fate kinda sucks. Over several thousand years, he's handed out the fortunes to billions of humans (not great fortunes, mind you, as greatness lies on the path of Destiny). More often than not his humans have a habit of screwing everything up, often veering off their mediocre paths into something even more miserable, forcing Fabio to reassign their fortunes on a constant basis.
Watching this happen over and over again leaves apathetic and bored.

His best friends Sloth and Gluttony don't improve things either, not to mention his centuries long feud with Death. But when he meets and falls in love with a human -- a big no-no -- he starts to have a new passion for his work and his life. show more However, his rule-breaking love could lead to drastic repercussions, such as being stripped of his powers or worse.

When I picked up this book, I did not expect to find myself glued to my chair, unable to put it down, but I found myself quickly absorbed by the flawed and funny Fabio. The writing reflects Fabio's voice perfectly. He's not entirely likable, but I found his wry humor and analysis of human existence engaging and as he grew on me, I found myself hoping everything would turn out alright for him in the end.

I won't give anything away, but speaking of the end, let me just say: wow, omg, unsettling, weird, who the hell comes up with this stuff, and awesome. I have a deep love for zombies, but I definitely enjoyed Fated even more than I loved the wonderful and quirky Breathers: A Zombie's Lament. show less

Did you know that various immortals watch us at every moment? They do, and they report to God, who prefers being called Jerry. But they're not supposed to interfere with us humans. In fact, Rule Number One is Don't Get Involved.

Fate, however, has broken Rule Number One. He's fallen in love.

Fate, who prefers being called Fabio, has grown tired of watching all of us screw up and wander off the paths he assigned us when we were born. This creates new work for him, assigning us each new fates, which we proceed to blithely ignore as well. Jerry damn that free will thing. But every now and then, Fabio runs into an individual whose path he cannot see. And when he runs into Sara repeatedly -- by Chance, at first, and then deliberately -- he show more knows she's on the Path of Destiny, and he can't see her future, but that doesn't matter. In fact, it makes her even more appealing....

And so, there goes Rule Number One. Which subsequently leads to breaking other rules, such as Rule Number Five, Never Materialize In Front Of Humans, followed closely by Rule Number Six, Never Dematerialize In Front Of Humans. And so forth.

But it's when Fabio breaks Rule Number Two, Don't Improve Anyone's Assigned Future, that things really start to get hairy.

The thing about Destiny is she's a nymphomaniac.
The thing about Lady Luck is she has ADD.
The thing about Jerry is he's omnipotent. But busy.
The thing about Gossip is...well, you know.

And the thing about S.G. Browne is he's following in Christopher Moore's footsteps, and doing a bang-up job of it. Which is why I hadn't even finished this book before I went out and bought his other title, Breathers.

Many thanks to LibraryThing's Early Reviewers Club for the opportunity to read this book. show less

The thing about this book is that I thought it would be light and breezy.

The thing about Fated is that I didn't expect to like it as much as I did.

The thing about me is that I like when a book surprises me.

Fabio is Fate. We will also meet the personifications of Sloth, Gluttony, Karma, Destiny, Secrecy, and more including Jerry (God). Fabio keeps a close eye on his humans as he zips around the earth (as he has done for over 250,000 years) observing his humans making bad life decisions.

Then he meets her. He falls in love with a human. Not only does this change Fabio, but it changes how he does his job. And that is not going to go over well with Jerry.

The humor in this book will remind you of Christopher Moore and I think people who enjoy show more him will enjoy this book. I liked Browne's observations of the human experience and how close each of us is to greatness or catastrophe. Excellent surprise ending. show less

The thing about Fated, I really loved the voice. It was so distinctly S.G. Browne. I’ve read every one of his novels, and his story telling is so distinct. I wouldn’t so much classify it as humor. It’s more light-hearted. It’s got a nice flow to it. Normally, the use of present tense in story telling irritates the hell out of me. I find it to be a major pet peeve, but with Browne, I hardly even notice it.

But enough about the writing. Let’s get into the story. The concept behind the story is really cool. The main character, Fabio, is Fate, one of the host of immortals in this novel. Other immortals include Sloth, Gluttony, Greed, Destiny, Truth, and of course, there is Jerry, who is God. Each of the immortals has a job to do. show more Fabio assigns the fate to most human beings, and often has to reassign it because of the stupid choices that the humans under his umbrella make. All of that changes when he meets Sara, a human he falls in love with. Then he gets soft and starts trying to help the humans—a bad mistake as it turns out since Jerry is non too happy when the humans’ lives change, and not necessarily for the better. He knows that being with Sara could get him into serious hot water, but he can’t help himself. Love is love, after all.

I really enjoyed this story. The one negative was the ending. It didn’t work for me and I didn’t find it to be very believable. If the ending had been good, this would have been an easy five star rating, but I had to take it down a notch as a result. Still, this is well worth reading.

Carl Alves - author of Battle of the Soul show less

Fabio Delucci is Fate. He is entrusted with the task to stand by and watch as most of the population ruins their lives. Destiny has the much better job of guiding those in a more positive direction, but Fate has the child molesters, drunks, and general ne'er-do-wells. Not exactly a laugh fest. His life, after about 250,000 years, has become routine and dull. He hates his job; his no-contact affair with Destiny is empty and unsatisfying; and he doesn't really have much else going for him. Until he runs into his neighbor Sara Griffen by chance. He stalks her for a bit and comes to the realization that he's in love. They finally meet, hit it off famously, and fall head over heels for each other. He has to hide it from Jerry (AKA Jehovah) show more and all the other personifications, like Gluttony, Vanity, Hope, but especially Destiny because interfering and falling in love with humans is forbidden. This new found love inspires him to help the sad, pathetic people on the path of Fate to achieve happiness and sometimes put them on the path of Destiny. Everything starts to fall apart when the fated people he helped start dying. Was it really because of his interference or is someone trying to sabotage him? How long can he keep is relationship secret in the face of these deaths?

I didn't really know what to expect before I read Fated, but I thought it would be something like Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality series. Although there are some similarities, Fated is much more light hearted and ironic. Fate is an engaging and relatable narrator, despite being an ancient anthropomorphic concept. His voice is really what got me into the book because of its conversational and humorous quality. I think everyone can relate to someone with an unsatisfying job trying to make a few people's lives a little bit better. I laughed pretty much through the whole thing. I truly couldn't put it down in finished it in only a couple of days. Although the immortal falling in love with a mortal has been done throughout history just about to death, Browne has managed to breathe new life into this concept. The romance between Sara and Fabio is so adorable and quirky, they just complement each other very well. When things start to go badly for him, I sympathized with him and I was even moved to tears by the end. Even though most of the book is light and funny, there is still a core of true heart and prompts the reader to scrutinize their own lives to see which path we are on: Destiny or Fate.

Fabio is backed by a cast of memorable personifications, including, Gluttony, Vanity, Dennis, Hope, Secrecy, Honesty, and Lady Luck. They all have their little personality quirks and aren't the perfect celestial beings that we may have imagined. I liked learning about the ins and outs of their daily lives, such as their man suits that contain their true selves and the quotas they have to fill. Most of their lives aren't much better than any given human's, except for the perks, like the spa in Eden, a universal credit card, and the ability to transport anywhere instantaneously.

The thing about Fated is, it's a great novel. The ending is pretty unexpected and comes out of nowhere, but it's very satisfying. I would love to read another book starring Fabio and I look forward to what S.G. Browne will do next. I would recommend this to fans of Breathers, Browne's debut novel, and people who enjoy Christopher Moore's novels. show less

I am typing this review mere minutes after finishing S.G. Browne's Fated - at past two in the morning, no less. I cannot contain myself, really, because a book hasn't made me laugh out loud as much as this one for the longest time, and this isn't something you can just sleep on and remember to write about in the morning. So here I am, way past midnight, gathering my thoughts, wondering where to begin.

Let's start with Fabio.

Ah, Fabio, more commonly known as Fate, the guy responsible for how our lives will turn out, our paths, if you will. Decades upon decades of looking out for the fates of more than three-quarters of the human race (the other quarter of the human population is on the path of Destiny, which is actually altogether show more different from Fate, but I don't want to spoil the book for you). He's bored (he has been doing this for the longest time), he's bitter (all the humans on his watch are predestined for mediocre futures, and even that they can't stick to) and he's pretty much fed up with his job, even going so far as asking Jerry the Almighty for a job transfer.

Then he meets Sara Griffen - good-looking, outgoing, such a head-turner (in more ways than one). Sara's not on Fabio's list, but he's so smitten by her that he starts following her around, meeting her, getting to know her... well, you get the idea. But the thing is, when you're Fate, an immortal responsible for the lives of pretty much nine out of ten humans, getting involved with a mortal is a big no-no. Meddling with mortals tend to mess with the cosmic balance and ends up affecting everything else. Which is why Rule No. 1: Don't get involved.

The thing about Fated is that it's so well-written, you won't notice the overwhelming complexity of the premise of the story. Fabio is such an engaging narrator, so casual and laid-back, and the way he talks about the universal laws and relationships of the immortals (would you believe he used to be best friends with Dennis a.k.a Death?) is so uncomplicated, like reciting the alphabet. He kind of reminds me of Rob from Nick Hornby's High Fidelity. I love Fabio's conversation ticks, the way he always describe things in threes, and the way he describes the other immortals with "the thing about...".

A modern-day version of your classic god-falls-for-human love story, Fated is one of those books I would love to see on the big screen (which hopefully does happen, since I heard Diablo Cody is already working on S.G. Browne's first novel, Breathers - which I am currently reading, too, by the way). Its characters - even the secondary characters such as Lady Luck, Sloth and Gluttony, even the only remaining Greek god, Hermes - aren't hollow and lacking in description. And lastly, it wasn't entirely what I was expecting. Halfway through the book and I was anticipating something different from how it ended. On second thought, I'm not even so sure what I was expecting anymore.

That would be the lack of sleep talking.

All in all, Fated paints a colorful picture of the complications of being human, of the decisions we make, and why we do what we do, regardless of consequences. Definitely a must-read, probably one of the best books I've read this year.

Originally posted here. show less