Loving-kindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness

This is a delightful book on the four immeasurables, or the four Brahma-viharas: love, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Salzberg does an excellent job of distinguishing each of these from it's near enemies, e.g. love versus attachment. Salzberg also shows how the cultivation and expression of these attitudes is at the root of the Buddhist path to liberation.

Salzberg doesn't get into history and politics - this is a very practice-oriented book. Given that Salzberg is working out of a Theravadin tradition, it must have been tempting to use the long heritage of this practice - at one point Salzberg quoted Buddhaghosa, who pretty much defines Theravadin orthodoxy - to counter the usual Mahayana claim to owning compassion. Salzberg just show more leaves all that unspoken. She even quotes some non-Buddhist sources. This is not a sectarian tract.

This is a great book for any Buddhist practitioner. It doesn't assume much background, but even a long time meditator is sure to come away with some fresh persepectives. show less

LOVING KINDNESS: THE REVOLUTIONARY ART OF HAPPINESS is author Sharon Salzberg's Buddhist-based exploration of how we human beings can interpret and direct our lives in ways that will lead us to greater personal happiness and freedom. As an internationally known meditation teacher and co-founder of both the Insight Meditation Society (1974) and the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies (1990), Salzberg is one of the leaders credited with bringing the concept of mindfulness to the West.

Salzberg begins by pointing out an essential human contradiction. Although all of us "long to love ourselves more deeply and to feel connected with others"* we often feel just the opposite - disconnected and separate. Salzberg says that feeling of separation is show more a delusion and a source of great pain in our lives. But while we cannot control the world or what happens to us as individuals, we can manage our action and reactions in ways that foster connection.

Drawing on personal anecdotes, the works of other Buddhist scholars, and the teachings of the Buddha (aka Siddhartha Gautama 563-483 BCE), Salzberg walks us through alternative ways to handle the difficult moments of our lives. Like when we face anger or aversion. She offers concrete alternatives that involve us pausing and looking inside ourselves. Instead of meeting hard emotions with more harshness, we can answer with loving kindness and compassion. By doing so, she argues, we not only like ourselves ore and help ourselves more, we also help the person who caused us pain. Each chapter concludes with practical exercises to help each of us consider how these concepts can be integrated into our daily lives.

Please don't think of this book as a religious text or or as just one more self-help book, even though it could feel like the latter. And don't be put off if you have little interest in Buddhism as a philosophy. There is wisdom for all in these pages. And it's less than 200 pages long.

Salzberg's writing style is straightforward, accessible, and clear, with humor sprinkled throughout. I would recommend reading it slowly, a few pages at a time. This book has the potential to make you think differently about the world and to reconsider your own power to create a greater sense of peace. I recommend LOVING KINDNESS for everyone; it is guaranteed to get you thinking. show less

Sharon Salzberg has practiced Buddhist meditation for many years, so the book provides much information about Buddhism. Though reading the book requires focus and concentration, I found it to be enlightening and inspiring. It also absolutely exudes lovingkindness, which is a main factor attracting me to a book, though I was not previously familiar with the term.

Lovingkindness is a translation of the Pali word “metta”, which is the first of the brahma-viharas, or the “heavenly abodes”. The others – compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity - “grow out of metta, which supports and extends these states”.

The author is open about her own shortcomings and episodes that have contributed to her development, and provides us with show more many personal stories that add to the book’s readability.

The Buddha presented the metta meditation as an antidote to fear. A mind involved with lovingkindness cannot be overcome by fear. Lovingkindness overcomes the illusion of separatenesss and all its accompanying states - “fear, alienation, loneliness, and despair – all of the feelings of fragmentation”.

When we feel love, we can allow ourselves to be fully aware of the entirety of life – both pleasures and pains. “Love can uproot fear or anger or guilt, because it is a greater power”.

Metta begins with loving ourselves. We ourselves deserve our love and affection. We must focus on the goodness in others, and will thus forge a connection to them. The force of metta “allows us to cohere, to come together within ourselves and with all beings”.

What I most appreciated in the book was the numerous exercises. The first exercise advises us to call to mind kind or good actions we have done, or qualities we appreciate about ourselves. In the second exercise we practice befriending ourselves by repeating phrases relating to what we wish for ourselves.

There are four phrases generally used:

“May I be free from danger.”
“May I have mental happiness.”
“May I have physical happiness.”
“May I have ease of well-being.”

I personally have chosen the phrases:

“May I be healed, completely healed.”
“May I fulfill my life purpose.”
“May I be loving.”
“May I be blissful.”

We begin by reflecting on the good within us or our wish to be happy. Then we repeat the four phrases we have chosen, again and again. After doing this exercise I feel really good.

In later exercises we repeat the chosen phrases directed towards others – a benefactor, a neutral person, a difficult person, difficult aspects of oneself, all beings, all females, all males, all enlightened beings, all those in ignorance, etc, etc.

There are chapters on facets of lovingkindness, hindrances to lovingkindness, working with anger and aversion, developing the compassionate heart, the power of generosity, etc, etc. (There is also a useful exercise on compassion for those who cause pain.)

I found this to be a most wonderful book, which I will need to re-read several times. I greatly recommend this well-written and absolutely inspiring book to all those who wish to develop a loving heart. I will be looking out for other books by this author. show less

This one is alternately encouraging and overwhelming, with odd exotic anecdotes. It's all about trying to be a kinder, better person - always a bit of a squirm inducing subject, but definitely worth reading about. I've been meditating regularly for a couple of months now and am hoping to wear some happier ruts in my brain. (August 12, 2006)

Throughout our lives we long to love ourselves more deeply and find a greater sense of connection with others. Our fear of intimacy—both with others and with ourselves—creates feelings of pain and longing. But these feelings can also awaken in us the desire for freedom and the willingness to take up the spiritual path.

In this inspiring book, Sharon Salzberg, one of America's leading spiritual teachers, shows us how the Buddhist path of lovingkindness ( metta in Pali), can help us discover the radiant, joyful heart within each of us. This practice of lovingkindness is revolutionary because it has the power to radically change our lives, helping us create true happiness in ourselves and genuine compassion for others. The Buddha show more described the nature of such a spiritual path as "the liberation of the heart, which is love." The author draws on simple Buddhist teachings, wisdom stories from various traditions, guided meditation practices, and her own experience from twenty-five years of practice and teaching to illustrate how each one of us can cultivate love, compassion, joy, and equanimity—the four "heavenly abodes" of traditional Buddhism. show less

"Love can uproot fear or anger or guilt, because it is a greater power."

This is an amazing, life-changing, immensely wise book that everyone should read. Sharon Salzberg explains the Buddha's teachings about practicing lovingkidness, sympathetic joy, compassion and equanimity, together which brings us happiness. She illustrates the impediments to this practice - clinging, judgment, envy, anger, fear, and so forth - with tremendous insight. At the end of each chapter, she gives concrete, detailed instructions to meditation practice and real life practice that are simple to follow.

The key to achieving happiness lies within each of us. Start by reading this book.

I surprised myself once when I took part in a values clarification exercise. I always thought honesty was my number one value. I believe very strongly in honesty and integrity but what I realized after completing this values activity was that if push came to shove, I would choose kindness over honesty every time. The highest value by which I live my life is kindness. That is not to say, I'm right and if you would choose honesty or any other value that you would be wrong. It's simply to say that in my life, I have chosen kindness as my highest purpose.

Therefore, when I saw a book entitled, Loving-Kindness, you can imagine it caught my attention. I was not surprised to enjoy reading it. Ms. Salzberg takes Buddhist psychology and show more simplifies it to a way of living that resonates with me and I'm sure it will with many of my readers. show less