Everything I Never Told You

James and Marilyn Lee dared to be different and want their children to be different again. Chinese American James is desperate for his children to be popular, accepted and on-trend. All-American daughter of a traditional, single-parent mum, Marilyn lives her dream of being a doctor through her daughter Lydia until Lydia’s lifeless body is found in the neighbourhood lake and everything implodes.
Everything I Never Told You gets right under your skin. It’s seriously sad and I felt heartfelt sorry for each and every one of the characters – from James’s illegal immigrant, Chinese parents who work their fingers to the bone to survive and give James a chance in life to poor little Hannah, the Lee’s youngest daughter, invisible in show more her attic room or under a table, with her stolen treasures and burning desire for attention.
Beautiful details like an old cookbook, a hard-boiled egg, a game of Marco Polo and empty journals subtly underscore the dysfunction and disappointment, racism and sexism, secrets and lies. The very best of intentions produce the worst possible results and an unhealthy desire to please comes at a cost. All in all, I found Everything I Never Told You a moving and thought-provoking read. show less

This character-driven novel is astounding for what is says as well as for what it just implies. The reader slowly becomes aware of the turmoil that roils just beneath the surface, and though we think we know Lydia’s fate from the very first sentence, we still can’t help but hold out hope that something will save her. In this Chinese American family, feelings are not disclosed, hopes and desires are not made known, fears are kept hidden, and failures are not acknowledged. “If only” will become a phrase invading your mind as you read this tale – if only the members of this family had spoken up, much grief and tragedy could have been avoided. This novel delves into relationships and the way in which words affect those closest to show more us. But it also explores the way that those words not spoken can have even a greater effect. Well written and intriguing, this novel will make you think about what you say and even more about what you leave unsaid. show less

"Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet. ," Celeste Ng's enticing first line takes the reader on a journey of exploration into all the possibilities of this tragedy. Lydia's older brother , Nath, seems to be the only one who knows that the imagined star of the family is not really a popular girl in school and not really getting A's, and, more importantly, she has been hanging out lately with a boy named Jack (last name Wolff in case you needed more of a connotation). The novel unfolds in various flashbacks and perspectives that paint a well defined picture of living as a Chinese American family in the Ohio suburbs in the 1970's. Whether Lydia was murdered, or committed suicide or drowned by accident are all plot possibilities, show more but the effects of this family's structure and their varying hopes for their three children are as interesting as the final resolution of this teenager's death. The writing is observant and the characters well drawn. Perhaps for me the most interesting was Hanna, the youngest - "They set up her nursery in the bedroom in the attic, where things that were not wanted were kept, " - She is always hiding in the shadows, hardly talked to, but her perceptiveness and simple touches are integral to the novel.

Some good quotes listed below:
"When they made love, her hair came alive. It darkened from golden-wheat to amber. It kinked and curled like a fiddlehead fern. It amazed him that he could have such an effect on anyone. As she dozed in his arms, her hair slowly relaxed, and when she woke, it had stretched back to its usual waves."

"Out of the corner of her eye, she studied Jack’s profile, the faint stubble—darker than his sandy hair—that ran all the way up to his sideburns and all the way down to the soft part of his throat, like a smudge of charcoal waiting to be wiped away."

"She feels like an overtuned violin, strung too tight, so that even the slightest vibration sets her humming." show less

This book was heavy with missed opportunities and misunderstandings. Imagine being born on the cusp of acceptability: of women achieving career goals and not having to quit pursuits when pregnant, of mixed-race marriages, of being open about sexual preference. All these undercurrents drive this book while the main plot on the surface stirs them into a tempest. It is the late 1950s and Marilyn is a bright, studious young woman at Radcliffe, determined to be a doctor, despite her mother's pressure to be a wife and homemaker. When she meets James Lee, a Chinese-American professor and falls in love, she initially believes he understands her goals, but when she becomes pregnant, they marry and she quickly falls into a traditional role. He is show more passed over for a professorship at Harvard because of his race, and is able to get a job at a small Ohio college. Soon there are 3 children to look after and Marilyn's hopes for achievement get transferred to her middle daughter, Lydia. All this back story explodes to the surface when Lydia is missing one morning and turns up dead in the town lake. It is an apparent suicide -- Lydia could not handle the burden of all the misplaced hopes of her parents. Her older brother Nath is convinced a neighbor boy, Jack is responsible in some way, but Jack had merely befriended her to feel closer to Nath. The loneliness in the story is palpable because each character feels so utterly "other" but is not able to articulate that to anyone. It's a well-written study of the effects of suppression and isolation, despite the ability to interact with others in the conventional expected, accepted ways. show less

The first line of this book is powerful: "Lydia is dead. But they don't know this yet."
16-year-old Lydia is the middle child of three, who disappears and is found shortly afterward at the bottom of a nearby lake. The meat of the story centers around her parents & siblings, a blended Chinese-American family in 1970's Ohio, with the timeline switching back & forth between the weeks following her death and the months leading up to it.

Lydia's father, James (of Chinese descent), has always only wanted to blend in with everyone else and wants the same for his children. Marilyn, Lydia's mother, struggles with her foregone dreams of becoming a doctor & attempts to steer Lydia into the life she missed out on. Nath, the older brother, is anxious show more to graduate so that he can leave the sometimes uncomfortable dynamics of his family. And Hannah, the younger sister, is mostly a forgotten character who blends into the background but is quietly absorbing all that's going on around her.

More than anything, this is a novel of a family breaking apart, trying to figure out what went wrong, and struggling to determine whether it can be repaired. It brings forth a lot of raw emotion all over the spectrum, but is carried largely by grief, sadness, and regret. Some readers may find it depressing or unsettling, but it is well-written and illustrates a very true-to-life family dynamic in the face of tragedy. show less

Incredibly poignant portrait of a Chinese American family in the 1970s. The book opens with the death of 16 year old Lydia Lee, and you would think that's the event that fractured the family. But as you make progress, you discover all of the elements that have torn apart the Lees- James and Marilyn, and their three children- Nath, Lydia and Hannah.

Celeste Ng's prose is exquisite and gentle. It brings to our attention themes of identity, belonging, grief and transformation. By no means does it underplay the emotions, however. The book takes the reader on quite the emotional journey, right alongside its characters. The novel doesn't shy away from exposing just how flawed and how vulnerable its characters are, and how these traits can show more co-exist.

All of the characters also get to go through their own story arcs, which layers the entire narrative with complex emotions. It also paints a vivid picture of what it is like to live in a 'dysfunctional' family- how it tears you apart, how you navigate and survive the resultant emotional quagmire. Little Hannah's childhood reminded me a lot of my own experiences, and it was quite wonderful and heartbreaking to see it on paper.

If you don't like fictional works with flawed characters, however, this one might not be for you. Everything I Never Told You is a devastating read that leaves quite an impression. show less

I really liked this book about a mixed-race family living in a small town in Ohio in the 1980s. The middle child, Lydia, goes missing at the beginning and is found drowned in the town lake. The rest of the book is told in flashbacks to various times, including when and how the parents meet, a time when the mother runs away from the family for a few weeks when the kids are little, and recent flashbacks to Lydia's school life and sibling interactions. There are lots of subtle connections as these times are relayed, and I thought it was very well crafted.

This book was sad, though. And sort of terrifying because the parents' actions have so much influence over their children's lives. As a parent myself, I sort of want to believe that I'm show more not quite this influential or it's scary to think about all the mistakes I'm making! She wrote this before having her first child and I wonder if she would write it the same way now. show less