Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

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Have You Ever Given Your Best and Gotten the Worst in Return?. The wounds inflicted by an "unsafe" person can go deep. If you've ever been in a relationship where you were used, abused, or abandoned, then Safe People is for you. It will help you make wise choices in relationships from friendships to romance. You'll discover why good people can get tangled in bad relationships. And you'll learn how to avoid repeating you own mistakes and how to pick safe, healthy people for the friends you show more make and the company you keep. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend share expert insights that will help you: Correct things within you that jeopardize your relational security. Learn the 20 traits of unsafe people. Recognize what makes people trustworthy. Avoid unhealthy relationships. Become a safe person yourself. show less

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6 reviews
Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't by Henry Cloud and John Townsend deals with the problem of character discernment. Cloud and Townsend write, "Safe people are individuals who draw us closer to being the people God intended us to be. Though not perfect, they are ‘good enough’ in their own character that the net effect of their presence in our lives is positive. They are accepting, honest, and present, and they help us bear good fruit in our lives (pg. 11)." The goal of Safe People is two fold. First, it will help us find and recognize safe and unsafe people. Second, it will also help us recognize areas in our lives where we are unsafe and help us become a safe person.

The book is show more divided up into three sections. In the introduction it says:
"In Part 1, 'Unsafe People,' you'll learn who unsafe people are and the twenty identifying traits of unsafe people (chapters 1-4).
In Part 2, 'Do I Attract Unsafe People?' you'll get a picture of the origin of the problem: why you currently choose the wrong people, and how to repair this problem (chapters 5-8).
In Part 3, 'Safe People,' you will learn more about what safe people are and why you need them. You will also receive practical help on successfully meeting and relating to safe people.
We designed this book to help you look both outside and inside yourself. (pg. 12)"

If you are open to honestly examining yourself, your relationships and your actions, Safe People will definitely give you a greater understanding of your role in interpersonal relationships. It is a Christian faith-based book. I thought it was very convicting to examine the relationships I have and the role I take in them. Along with Cloud and Townsend's book Boundaries, it has the potential to be a powerful tool, especially for a Christian's recovery from various problems. A friend recommended this book to me and I appreciate that. While I really liked Safe People, in many ways I thought Boundaries was more beneficial for me personally, but Safe People is still very highly recommended and I'm glad I read it.
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Safe People is great book for people that tend to give more than they receive and as a result find themselves repeating the same destructive patterns in relationships.
This book was eye-opening to me. I never understood why I shut people out. After reading this book, I understand why God created relationships and how important it is to be surrounded with safe people who encourage me and who follow gods guide, & who are loving and accepting. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has struggled with self -sufficiency and shutting people out.
Essential reading for those pursuing multiple intimate relationships.

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Author Information

Picture of author.
219+ Works 22,492 Members
Cofounder of Cloud/Townsend Communications, Henry Cloud is a popular speaker and licensed psychologist. Cloud graduated with a doctorate in clinical psychology from Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology and maintains a private practice in Newport Beach, California. Also a cohost of the nationally broadcast "Minirth Meier New Life Clinic," Cloud show more has written numerous books with his business partner John Townsend, including Safe People, Twelve Christian Beliefs That Can Drive You Crazy, The Mom Factor, and the Gold Medallion award-winning Boundaries. On his own, Cloud, who specializes in individual adult psychotherapy, has written the books Changes That Heal: How to Understand Your Past to Ensure a Healthier Future and Secrets of Your Family Tree. (Bowker Author Biography) show less
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43 Works 4,207 Members

Common Knowledge

Dedication
From Henry:
To Tori and my friends

From John:
To Barbi, my safest person
First words
[Introduction] Have you ever said any of the following things to yourself?
As a college student, I (John) dated around a bit, but I enjoyed casual friendships more.
Last words
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)[Introduction] "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6)
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)If you will do the hard work of distinguishing safe and unsafe people, abiding deeply with the safe ones and dealing redemptively with the unsafe ones, you will develop an abundant life, full of satisfying relationships and meaningful service to God.

Classifications

Genres
Nonfiction, Religion & Spirituality, General Nonfiction
DDC/MDS
248.4ReligionChristian practice & observanceChristian experience, practice, lifeChristian Living
LCC
BV4597.52 .C56Philosophy, Psychology and ReligionPractical TheologyPractical TheologyPractical religion. The Christian life
BISAC

Statistics

Members
776
Popularity
35,857
Reviews
4
Rating
(4.21)
Languages
English, Spanish
Media
Paper, Audiobook, Ebook
ISBNs
13
UPCs
9
ASINs
8