Will Schwalbe

Will Schwalbe's memoir is a unique tribute to his mother, Mary Anne, a strong woman who worked tirelessly to help others, and who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. One day during her chemo treatment, Will asked, "What are you reading?" So the two-person book club was born, as Will and his mother discuss books they both read over the course of Mary Anne's treatments.

The books are just a starting point for larger discussions of life, courage, love, and so much more. Each chapter is the show more title of a book, whether the book they're discussing or one that thematically ties into the subject of the chapter. Will intersperses memories of past days with the treatments and his mother's decline, painting a picture of a really wonderful woman I feel like I got to know just a little bit through his eyes. The book is sweet but not saccharine, sad but hopeful. I may very well give it to my own mother to read and discuss with her. show less

Will Schwalbe's mother is dying of pancreatic cancer. As he sits with her at her chemo appointments, they talk about the books they read. Very early on in the book, they start a book club of two, picking books to read together, specifically so they can discuss them, specifically so they can learn more about each other, specifically so they can draw closer together in his mother's last years, and, specifically, though not consciously so they can begin the healing process even before the end show more has arrived.

With a synopsis like that, I'm sure it comes as no surprised that I cried.

I am years and years away from having to face any sort of similar situation. At least, I assume I am. Hope I am. Trust I am. Perhaps the real reason that this book hit so hard is that none of us actually know when we will be in a situation like this, on either side of it. But, it is my hope, that when I do find myself in such a situation, books will bring me the same amount of comfort in brought Mary Anne and Will Schwalbe.

Things I loved about it:

1. Mary Ann(e) Schwalbe. Such a beautiful woman. So strong. So true to her convictions. So full of action, and life, and energy. So very unlike myself, but so like the woman I would like to be.

2. Books. Of course. This book is a book for people who love books. In fact, if the only books you read are the most popular ones - you know, Hunger Games, Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey - and if you aren't the type to constantly have a book on the go and have no idea what that's like, you may not even enjoy it much. If you do, this book will make you love books even more. It will make you go out and buy more bookshelves.

3. The beauty of death. This one is hard one. I guess what I found beautiful is how Mary Anne faced it, unwilling to stop living even though she was dying, even right up to her last few days.

4. Besides the books, this was my favourite thing: The End of Your Life Book Club is a profoundly spiritual, profoundly religious book written by a man who "just [doesn't] think about religion." (98) Schwalbe may not be a religious man, but he's written a book that is so beautifully moving, spiritually, a book that can provide great comfort about life and death from a religious perspective.

5. I guess, in relation to point 4, in conclusion of point 4, I adore how true Schwalbe is to his mother, how much he honours her through this work, even though his belief system does not necessarily line up. It's a beautiful tribute to his mom.

I think this might be the next book I recommend to everyone I meet. I'll be passing it on to my parents next. I'm not sure what they'll think of it - neither of them really read much non-fiction, and their parents didn't read much, as far as I know, - but I hope that in some ways, it will give them a glimpse into the gift they've given their children by reading so much, the same gift Mary Anne (and her husband) gave to her children. show less

A beautiful book about the connection through books a mother and son were able to make it the years leading up to her death from pancreatic cancer. I lost my mother to cancer six years ago, and I really envy how Will and his mother Mary Ann were able to find a common language to discuss the questions of life, death, and the possibility of the hereafter.

I wish my mother and I had had that common language. And I wish my stepfather, through his own bitterness and lashing out, hadn't poisoned my show more process of mourning by making some very cruel statements. I'm still processing the loss six years later, as a result.

Reading this book may help bring peace to many people. I recognize how good it is, but it's brought up a lot of angst for me. But at the same time, it's helped me to rid myself of a lot of misplaced guilt that I had been placing on my own head. I do tend to do this; to beat myself up unjustly. I need to stop doing that.

But I remember the time in the hospital room when my mother and I acknowledged death's approach and our love for each other. No one else was a party to that conversation but her and me. And no one can judge that or take that away from me. show less

This book has 70 reviews here on LT, most of them glowing and rhapsodic about how wonderful and inspiring and heartfelt it is. This will not be one of those reviews.

First, to summarize, Will Schwalbe and his mother, Mary Ann, formed a book club of two to share books and their thoughts on them during Mary Ann's battle with pancreatic cancer. They usually met at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in NYC where Mary Ann received her chemotherapy treatments. Okay premise, I lost my mother to show more cancer so I can relate, I like books about books, this should be just fine... Except it wasn't. It wasn't fine, it wasn't relatable, and it wasn't even a book about books. It was a hagiography of one woman who assumed Christ-like proportions and all-around perfection in the eyes of her son. Passing mention is made of the books they read, sometimes a couple of paragraphs are devoted to them, but the books are really a vehicle for the pedantic Mary Ann to deliver her Very Important Life Lessons to her naive and child-like son. (I don't actually believe he is naive and child-like, but the way he wrote about their discussions, I always pictured him with a wide-eyed sense of wonder, gazing up at his mother in hero worship.) And then those V.I.L.L. are delivered to us mere mortals courtesy of her son, who isn't much of a writer and likes to tell rather than show. This is obviously a book with a message, but the message is so clumsily delivered, I was embarrassed for both of them.

Other annoyances:
- These people occupy the rarefied world of upper class NY but of course manage to say all the right things about helping others and doing good but it all rang incredibly phony.
- I found Mary Ann incredibly patronizing and holier-than-thou, and while I didn't quite wish she would hurry up and die, I did almost stop listening a few times after some of her more annoying moments.
- Every time Will went on and on or felt the need to mention AGAIN all the wonderful things his mother did, I felt like the implicit message was that she had more of a right to beat cancer, more of a right to live, than some poor schmuck who just, you know, works hard every day to support his family. It's not like he's going to change the world or anything...

I really should stop because it is just making me madder and madder. And lest you think I am a complete monster, please know that I did tear up at the inevitable conclusion because cancer is a horrible thing and no one should have to die like that. Not Saint Mary Ann, not my mother, and not the millions of other people who fight daily to beat it but whose stories aren't told. Would that they had the connections to get a book published - I think their stories would be a lot more interesting.

PS: the narrator of the audio edition - Jeff Harding- was pretty bad. Every female voice sounded like the Church Lady from Saturday Night Live. show less