Francena H. Arnold (1888–1972)

Normally if I rate a book years after I read it, I give it a rating based on my enjoyment at the time of reading, rather than my opinion now. Sometimes this means I rate a book quite highly, when now I wouldn't touch it. With Not My Will, I'm going to break my own rule.
I received Not My Will as a gift through my church, either at Christmas time, or for a Sunday School Anniversary (weren't they nice people!). Not having much money to purchase books, any book I did own was re-read. A lot. So, show more I have to say I read Not My Will many many times as a teen. My rating at the time would have been 3 or 4 stars, as even though I had no real similarity to the main character, the story was enjoyable, and the characters complex and likeable.
Sometime in the late noughties, I decided I'd give the book another re-read. It had been stored away for a number of years, and I was curious to read it again and discover what kind of influence it might have had on my growth as a teenager, and as a Christian. Considering the volume of times I read it, and my inclination toward compete absorption in anything I read, I figured I might gain some insights into myself.
And this is when my rating dropped. It's not because of the story, or the characters, or the plot. It's due to the Christianity Not My Will presents, and the way it contributed to my faith and my perception of myself. A recurrent concept in Not My Will is the idea of a once for all commitment to God. In this the author is not referring to that initial commitment a person makes when they come to faith in God, and accept his forgiveness and atonement. Rather, the author is describing a Christian, who struggles to obey God's will and live in surrender to Him, eventually giving in and yielding finally and fully to God. The Christian then lives in a kind of sinless harmony with God for the remainder of their life.
Now before you start accusing me of being some sort of heretic, please let me clarify. I don't have anything against a full commitment to God. In my opinion, there is no greater gift in this universe than being in relationship with God, and naturally the deeper one's commitment and submission to Him, the sweeter this relationship is going to be.
My issue is the once for all way that Francine Arnold represents this commitment. And this was a huge, huge stumbling block for me as a young Christian. I could not understand why, despite my frequent confession, and "going forward" at meetings I still continued to sin. No matter how sincere a commitment I made, I would fall short and be right back where I started from.
After a lot of years, and a lot of pain and guilt, I figured it out. The reason I keep stuffing up is not the powerlessness and insincerity of my faith or my commitment, it’s because I'm a sinner. A one off "yes God I will do whatever you say for the rest of my life" is not going to stop me from sinning and missing God's best for me. What I really need is to say every day, "God, I can't do this without you. I need you today, not just to give me the food I eat or the air I breathe, but to live."
So Francine Arnold, I give you two stars for Not My Will. You wrote a good story and I'd like to think you blessed people with it. But you created a stumbling block for me. And while I've figured it out some twenty years later, I wish I could go back to my teenage self, beating herself up for failing again and whisper, "it's okay. God knows you're a sinner, He knows you're going to go out and do the same stupid thing again tomorrow. But He still loves you and He still forgives you."
November 2015
Just adding a quote from JC Ryle I found that adds to my thoughts above. I was encouraged to see a church leader with similar thoughts to me.
"The theory of a sudden, mysterious transition of a believer into a state of blessedness and entire consecration at one mighty bound, I cannot receive. It appears to me to be a man-made invention; and I do not see a single plain text to prove it in Scripture." show less

An excellent story with unexpected twists and turns, especially near the end! It was a story of what happens when a good marraige gets "ugly" and of how having the Lord to lean on can change the course of things. This story was about real people to me and real struggles they were going through.

Tony and Linda had what they thought was the perfect marriage. They loved each other, they had two adorable little ones and were making it in the work-a-day world. But what Linda wasn't counting on was show more the interference of her mother-in-law in their life and the way Tony let his mother "rule the roost". When their marraige is stretched to the limit, an unexpected tragedy occurs and God is able to work it out for their good and His glory. This was a book that touched my heart and will stay with me for quite awhile. It is a tender love story between husband and wife, but also between God and his children. show less

This is the story of Joyce and Gene Matthews. Joyce has raised Matthew since both parents have died. Gene is home from the war and not himself, so they find themselves on a road trip and checking out their home they lived in as small children. Gene "finds himself" at the old homeplace and they find the family that also had a son born to them the same night Gene was born. This is a story of how much family means to someone and a good lesson on how God works and answers prayer. The surprise show more ending is pretty good too! show less

Joyce Matthews raised her beloved younger brother, Gene, after the death of both their parents. Much to Joyce’s dismay, however, a year in military service behind the iron curtain seems to have completely changed his personality. This haunting drama includes Joyce’s cry for help and God’s faithful answer.