Andrew Solomon

Far From the Tree – Andrew Solomon
5 stars

I’m convinced that this is the most important book that I will review this year. I hope I can do it justice.

That familiar old adage, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’, turns up usually when a child demonstrates the same undesirable tendencies as the parent. Sometimes it might be used as a compliment if a child shares a notable talent with an ancestor. But what if the apple falls far away from the tree? What if the parent tree is show more an apple and the child is an orange? Andrew Soloman’s massive book examines ten different populations in which the child’s identity differs widely from the family. He considers the needs of the child to establish a personal, ‘horizontal’ identity associated with his difference, within the context of the ‘vertical’ identity of the family. He also considers, with great compassion, the needs of parents who raise such a child. In the first chapter, Soloman speaks of his own experience as a dyslexic, gay child of straight parents. The final chapter, Father, reflects his personal experiences in becoming a parent. The other chapters are titled: Deaf, Dwarf, Down Syndrome, Autism, Schizophrenia, Disability, Prodigies, Rape, Crime, and Transgender.

This is a heavily researched book. There are over 150 pages of footnotes and references. But if it is a textbook, it is the most readable textbook I’ve ever held in my hands. Soloman interviewed, and frequently lived with, hundreds of participants, but at no point does this book become a tabloid ‘tell-it-all’. Even in the chapters which draw primarily on his own experience, he uses each anecdote to illustrate major issues in the development of identity and the treatment of those who differ from ‘us’. Each chapter is comprehensive in providing historical context, current research and public policy issues. Where controversy exists, he has a clearly defined liberal bias, but takes pains to show all sides of an issue. Soloman’s personal comparison between dyslexia, for which intervention is desirable, and homosexuality, as an identity that he embraces, becomes a major theme for discussion throughout the book. What must the hearing parents of a deaf child consider before giving their child a cochlear implant? If your child is a dwarf, should you inflict the pain of limb lengthening surgery for her future benefit? Is genetic testing leading us to ‘laissez- faire’ eugenics? The questions are fascinating. The answers are complex.

I don’t own a copy of this book yet. I’m waiting for the paperback (or a decrease in the kindle price). I checked the book out four times from two different library systems before I was able to finish it. At nearly 1000 pages, it is not a book to read at one sitting. It is not difficult to understand. Soloman’s writing is clear and direct. I found myself rereading because I needed more time to digest the depth of his analysis. I had to resist the urge to underline sentence after sentence that expressed an important fact or a profound truth. Despite dyslexia, this man knows how to write.

“Ability is the tyranny of the majority. If most people could flap their arms and fly, the inability to do so would be a disability.”

“Loving our children is an exercise of the imagination.”

“Though many of us take pride in how different we are from our parents, we are endlessly sad at how different our children are from us”

“While accommodating people with physical disabilities must be undertaken out of moral conviction, adequately treating people with severe psychiatric illness is a win-win situation; if moral conviction fails, economic self-interest should prevail.”

“Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we give our children what we wanted, whether they wanted it or not.”


There is a definite investment of time required to read this book. Certainly, if you or a family member belongs to one of the target groups, you will find something of interest in the relevant chapter. Teachers, social workers, health professionals; of course, this is an important book for anyone working in those fields. Do you vote? Are you a parent? Do you have parents? Soloman has a lot to say to all of us. He’s given me a lot to think about. show less

Solomon looks in incredible detail at what he terms "horizontal identities". Vertical identities are identities that parents share with their children i.e. race would be a vertical identity. Horizontal identities are ones where the characteristics are not necessarily shared with the parents i.e. transgender or autism or sometimes deafness. Solomon writes extensively on each of these various differences.

He writes with incredible empathy, but really tries to show all sides of every issue. show more There are sides? Yes, there really are. If you are deaf, should you or should you not get a cochlear implant and at what age? What types of interventions are best for a child with autism? Forced medications or not for someone with Schizophrenia? There are actually an amazing number of issues and disagreements with how to proceed when a child manifests any of these issues. Limb lengthening for dwarfs? Parents disagree on all of these issues and more, but throughout Solomon shows respect for all the viewpoints while providing medical arguments and whatever evidence is available for the reader. And he also shows how parents often love these children as they are and don't wish them to necessarily be different. Just a very, very compelling read. I think they should excerpt some of this for use in schools to foster better understanding of differences.

The amount of research this guy did was incredible. It is a lot of anecdote, but that is what truly brings the book to life. It was a sociological study, a psychological study, and yet also a true testament to the power of parental love.

One thing I especially enjoyed is that the author didn't totally squelch his own opinions and insight out of the book. If he had some philosophical thoughts or perspective, he wasn't afraid to share those. I think that brought a humanity to the book that you wouldn't usually see in a non-fiction treatise that also has a bit of an academic bent to it.

At any rate, I would highly recommend this book as it fosters humility, empathy, and understanding as well as a deep appreciation for one's children. And gratitude on my part for having such an easy life by comparison. And admiration for those who carry big burdens, often with such love and grace. show less

An exploration of families in which children have "horizontal" identities that distance them from their parents - Deaf, dwarfism, autism, prodigies, Down syndrome, mental illness, conceived in rape, criminal behavior, and more. The author is a gay Jewish man whose parents weren't really comfortable being Jewish and not happy about his gayness. He's trying to cover a lot of ground here - it's a huge book - and not all of it works, but it's thought provoking. For me, who never wanted children, show more both interesting and off-putting, yet fascinating to see the different choices and outcomes. I think the section on prodigies was the most eye opening for me.
There's a bit too much "I wouldn’t trade my experience because it’s brought me so much joy” because to be honest, some of the stories sound really awful and these declarations rarely feel believable to me. Disability porn. Who’s brave enough to say “This isn’t what I hoped for and I can’t take it much longer.”? show less

Noonday Demon is Andrew Solomon's amazing memoir / history of depression - it's a must-read for anyone who wants to delve deeply into the causes and effects of depression. Solomon begins with his own journey through several severe depressive episodes. For a broader personal understanding of depression, he intermittently includes stories of "depressives" that he's interviewed. In his research for this book, Solomon explored many standard therapies for depression (i.e. medicine, psychotherapy, show more cognitive behavioral therapy, electroconvulsive therapy, etc.); but he also explored some very atypical therapies such as an African ritual in which he lay naked and covered in goat blood while people danced around him with a dead chicken. (He actually found it very cathartic.)

He followed his personal journey with epidemiology, biological causes, and historical development of depression.

I found this book fascinating. Solomon did a great job of inserting little vignettes of his own story or stories of people he interviewed into his more intellectual portions of the book, so that the material never became dry despite its length. Solomon came up with so many interesting points that I was always interested in what he would say next. His own story was touching. His facts seemed very well-researched. In short, it was simply an amazing book.

This is only a portion of my review to see the full one: http://hibernatorslibrary.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-noonday-demon-by-andrew-solom... show less