C. Terry Warner

The heart of this book is that we often engage in self-betrayal (choose to do what we know isn't right) which leads us to engage in self-deception (devalue others, over value ourselves) to protect our ego. This leads to self-defensiveness, and things quickly spiral down. Choosing to honor others can break this cycle. This book is rooted in LDS traditions but is largely compatible with classic, Biblical Christianity. This book is an excellent examination of the dynamics of the heart as one show more attempts to walk in the spirit. I can't say that I am better at avoiding self-betrayal, but since reading this book I have become better at recognizing when I have and repairing the damage. This book is the cornerstone of the Arbinger group, which has produced the business oriented Leadership and Self-Deception. show less

Problems (in marriage) are the interaction between two different viewpoints. So often we feel that the other person is the problem, and that they need to change to fix it. We tend to ignore what we might be doing that causes the problem.

"This is what I mean by 'feeling stuck': experiencing other people or circumstances as having more power over our own happiness than we do." (Page 11)

I've got lots of highlights in this book. Looking it over, it's about time to reread it.

An excellent analysis of how life works and the importance of personal responsibility.

"Ours is only the trying. The rest is not our business."
-T.S. Eliot

Read it.