Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Vanessa Diffenbaugh has found her niche in combining the stories of vulnerable people with the detailed intricacies of natural world. Flowers acted as messenger and metaphor in Diffenbaugh’s earlier work, while birds and their feathers keep the story aloft here.

I enjoyed “The Language of Flowers” and was excited to read this book. In “We Never Asked for Wings,” Diffenbaugh tells the story of a young woman who is forced by circumstance to finally be a mother to her teenaged son and show more young daughter. What could have been a book with a completely predicable plot and robot-like characters is instead nuanced and topical. With her story Diffenbaugh requires her readers to ask themselves tough questions, particularly questions pertaining to undocumented Hispanics in the U.S. and public school funding.

4 solid stars.

Thank you to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for a galley of this book in exchange for an honest review. show less

Victoria Jones was abandoned as an infant. Now, on the eve of her eighteenth birthday she is about to be emancipated from the foster care system she’s lived in all her life. She has limited schooling, no family, no job prospects. What she does have is an ancient Victorian Flower Dictionary, and the knowledge she gained during one important placement when she was nine. She leverages this limited but extraordinary skill into a job as an assistant at a flower shop, and begins – slowly and show more painfully – to blossom.

What a lovely debut novel! It wasn’t at all what I expected. Diffenbaugh has used her experiences as a foster mother to explore the emotional wounds and difficulties of a young woman truly left on her own for most of her life. Yes, she mentions some of the abusive horrors of the system, but mostly she focuses on the good that comes from understanding, patience and unconditional love, and how ONE loving placement can have a long-lasting impact on a child’s life. Victoria’s emotional growth is at times painful to read about, but there is much in her life (and in this book) to celebrate.

I found the use of the flower dictionary – harking back to Victorian times – to send messages of hope, love, belief, support, desire and forgiveness unique and interesting. I was afraid that the book would rely too heavily on this device and that I’d grow bored, but Diffenbaugh deftly weaves this information throughout the story, without overusing it. I thought the ending was a little too simply wrapped up, but I just looked at the remains of the purple hyacinth in my garden and all was forgiven. Fortunately I have plenty of hawthorn in my wooded yard to keep me company as I wait for Diffenbaugh’s next novel. show less

This first novel, while well written and engaging, ended up being ultimately frustrating for me. I think it was probably a really good look at what reality is like for a young adult with a severe attachment disorder. HOWEVER. (and now is the time I give away the full plot, so don't read any further if you don't want to be spoiled)

Thanks to my work I know a lot about the foster care system. It didn't ring true for me that a healthy, newborn baby would be placed so many times. Healthy newborns show more are, like, the holy grail. Everyone wants one. I just can't believe that Victoria wouldn't have found permanency really quickly as a newborn. I mean, maybe 2 placements if she was extremely special needs or something. But the book presents her as totally healthy. It would have made more sense if she'd been abandoned at age 2 after a couple of years of abuse, which would explain her behavior/attachment issues a lot better. If a social worker can't place a healthy 3 week old in an appropriate, permanent home that social worker should be fired probably.

Also, it just made me angry that she basically spat in the eye of the one adult who helped her, Renata. 'Hey, maybe I'll just start a competing business 3 blocks away from the flower shop owned by the only person willing to hire a homeless uneducated 18 year old!' What. An. Asshole.

While I think the fairy tale quality of the love interest fit with the theme and style of the novel, it was completely unrealistic. I didn't for a moment believe that this guy would forgive her after she lives with him for 6 months, disappears, drops off his baby with no warning, disappears again, and then reappears months later. No way. I've seen enough cases now to know that these 2 people would be done with each other at that point.

In summary, someone like Victoria needed a LOT of therapy which would have been much more realistic than her starting a super successful business and then moving to a farm to live happily ever after with the woman who was so mentally ill that she just flat out skipped their adoption court date and a magical flower market farmer who apparently is the kindest most forgiving man in the universe.

The end. show less

It's been a while since I read a book that made me love the characters as much as this one did. I have my own children who briefly lived in the foster care system, and while their experiences were wildly different, the fears and attachment concerns of Victoria live in my home in a very real way. Victoria is strangely appealing - a contradiction of aggression and fear. My admiration for her grew through the course of the story - even in the face of the wrong choices that she makes. The only show more thing that niggled at me was the fact that Victoria was so self-aware of her sabotaging behavior. Many kids with poor attachment skills aren't very rational about the things they do. However, as the story went along, I began to see Victoria as less a representative child and more an individual and I was able to believe that part of her story a little more. This is a story I will want to read again. show less