Laura Kipnis

Such clear vision! Laura Kipnis manages to look, open-eyed, at all the things women do to each other, as well as those things we allow to happen to us, in defining ourselves as a gender. Yet, this isn't a heavy read - it's fun and full of humour, both gentle and sharp. Kipnis is a well-known writer on so-called women's issues, and here she lays it on the line, asking why we take on the responsibility for housekeeping, why we wallow in envy and vulnerability instead of being strong, why we show more allow the depiction of our normally womanly functions as dirty.
Way back when I was breastfeeding my babies, one of my associates shuddered with horror at the thought. "That's disgusting," she said, "My breasts are for my husband." I wondered then, and still wonder now, how such wonderfully useful appendages became only appropriate for sexual satisfaction. It's easy to say it's because men wanted it that way, but, as Kipnis says, they've been aided and abetted by women.
I highly recommend this book for some true "aha!" moments and many wry laughs as you recognize yourself in the pages. It's something all women should read, and then leave around for the men in their life to read. The lessons are many, but the writing is so delightful you barely notice them going down... show less

Five stars is probably too much for this; in truth it's at three and a half stars. But for me, this book had an impact that can't be denied: I discovered this book whilst taking a Marxist politics course in my first year of uni. I was distinctly unimpressed by the Marxist politics, but this book managed to perfectly state my uneasy feelings about the complacency so many of my friends and colleagues had toward the idea of love and marriage as an unshakable moral code.

Kipnis frankly states show more that she is not, really, against *love* (the title is muckraking more than anything else). Really, she's against the perception that marriage should be a lifelong bond that can never be broken; that affairs or feelings of infidelity are somehow immoral, unnatural and should be grounds for dismissing someone from public office; and other such ludicrous strains of "moral fibre" which permeate our society.

A couple of the chapters, which attempt to mix in Kipnis' own Marxist beliefs, go a bit too far. Not because of the Marxism, but because they dilute her central argument and - to be honest - feel like chapters from another book altogether. However, I heartily recommend this book even if you'll end up disagreeing with a lot of it! No one says you have to change your opinion because you read "Against Love"; but who wants to go through life not even having heard the other side of the debate? show less

I recommend this book highty, not for its answers (it doesn't pretend to have any) but for its questions, which appraise every aspect of contemporary coupledom (which, she explains, is what she means by 'love'). In lesser hands this could be an intolerable bore, but Kipnis's intelligence and wit keep it readable.

The most spectacular set piece is compiled from actual answers to the question "what can't you do if you're part of a couple?" The list--made up almost entirely of phrases the reader show more will instantly recognize--runs to eight pages, and doesn't come close to repeating itself.

Her approach is external, like an economist or anthropologist, but informed by a little Freud and a lot of common sense. Ultimately she is asking "Why should we trust this odd set of beliefs about love when so much of the available evidence contradicts them?" I should add that the set of beliefs brought into question includes some of more than intimate interest, such as "we didn't care when JFK slept around, so why was there such a fuss about Clinton? What's changed?"

She suggests a few answers, some of which are more convincing than others, but it's the questions that matter, and she poses them brilliantly. show less

I enjoyed this book quite a lot. The style is breezy but not shallow, slightly silly but still thoughtful. It feels like perfect summer reading for people like me, who enjoy both thoughtful, academic discussion and “trashy” pop-culture. It probably helped that I have a bit of a background in literary theory--especially psychoanalytic theory--and that I was not already familiar with any of the scandals described, with the exception of the Lewinsky/Tripp/Clinton scandal, which was show more (coincidentally?) my least favorite part of the book. The final chapter, about “An Over-Imaginative Writer” is completely delicious, especially in Kipnis’s reflections on the purposes of writing about oneself, and reading what other people have written about themselves.

I also really enjoyed Kipnis’s "Against Love", which is similar in tone and erudition, although it feels more personal. In her blending of theory, popular culture and personal reflection, Kipnis’s writing and style remind me of Roland Barthes or Susan Sontag when they wrote for popular audiences--and that is a very good thing. show less