Thrity Umrigar

Indian-American journalist Smita Agarwal cuts a rare vacation short when her white journalist friend Shannon calls her to Mumbai - a city Smita swore she'd never return to again. Smita thinks Shannon needs her to help recuperate in the hospital, but Shannon actually wants Smita to go to a small village and cover the story she'd been working on: the story of Meena, a Hindu woman who married a Muslim man. Meena's two older brothers set her husband on fire and killed him, and nearly killed her show more as well. Anjali, a lawyer, took Meena's case against her brothers pro bono, and the verdict is coming down any day now. Smita travels with Shannon's friend Mohan, an Indian man, to Meena's village, despite the painful memories the journey revives for her.

Quotes

"Being uncomfortable is good, beta. It's in discomfort that growth happens." (Papa, 41)

Nobody was the villain in his or her own life story. (51)

"You don't love something because you're blind to its faults, right? You love it despite its flaws." (Mohan, 61)

Because traditions are like eggs - once you break one, it is impossible to put it back inside its shell. (Meena, 117)

"These men will never give up until they destroy us. Their traditions mean more to them than their humanity." (Radha to Meena, 129)

As children, we were taught to be afraid of tigers and lions. Nobody taught us what I know today - the most dangerous animal in this world is a man with wounded pride. (Meena, 131)

But in that one minute, my whole life changed. His words cut open a belief I had held my whole life, but when I looked inside, there was nothing there. (Meena, 164)

Because a woman can live in one of two houses - fear or love. It is impossible to live in both at the same time. (Meena, 189)

"What cannot be cured must be endured." (Papa, 204)

"All the important things in life are supposed to scare you." (Mohan, 289) show less

TW/CW: Murder, torture, misogyny, sex, racism

RATING: 4/5

REVIEW: Honor is the story of Smita, an Indian-American journalist who has come to India to report on the court case of a young Hindu woman whose marriage to a Muslim man led to his death and her disfigurement.

This is a truly heartbreaking story. The writing is beautiful, and I found myself flipping through the pages quickly, wanting desperately to find out what happens next. I really liked the way the author made sure that the reader show more knew that things like this didn’t happen just in India – for instance, how she connected what happened to Meena to the murder of black people in America. Because this story is unfortunately not one that is tied to one nation only but which is a black spot on the entire human race.

This is an emotional book, but it is also a beautiful one. I didn’t want to put it down and while parts of it broke my heart, it also was very hopeful. I highly recommend this book! show less

A young girl immigrates to a new country in this beautiful picture-book from Indian-American author Thrity Umrigar and Vietnamese illustrator Khoa Le, and finds herself lost in a world of loneliness. Missing her friends and family back home, she keeps to herself, until the aunt with whom she is living shares an old legend with her. In this tale, a group of people must flee ancient Persia, eventually finding themselves in India. Here, the local king at first refuses to allow them to stay, show more communicating with these foreigners who do not speak his language by showing them a cup filled to the brim with milk, symbolizing the idea that there is room for no more. The clever Persian leader adds some sugar to the cup, stirring it carefully to avoid any overflow, and handing it back to the king, thereby symbolizing that his group will live in peace with the people already in India, and that they will sweeten the life there with their presence. Convinced, the king allows the Persians to stay, and the story ends happily. The young girl, listening to this tale, sees the land to which she herself has come in a new light, and her changed attitude helps her to find friends and happiness in this new place...

Sugar in Milk is an astonishingly beautiful book, pairing a poignant, thought-provoking story from Umrigar with simply gorgeous illustrations from Le. I have read a great many stories for children about immigration, almost all of them focusing upon the difficulties of the immigrant experience - the hardship of the journey itself, the challenges of living in a foreign culture, the potential danger of intolerance and hostility from the native population. Many of these stories seek to build sympathy in the child reader/listener, for the immigrants amongst us, and they argue for tolerance toward the newcome stranger. Whilst in general sympathy with this literary/social project, I have often felt that we would also benefit from children's books that discuss the larger issue - why people immigrate, why this sometimes creates problems - in a non-emotional way, presenting the pros and cons of immigration as a whole, and avoiding the suggestion (all too often seen in children's books with this theme), that anyone who doesn't believe in open borders, and who thinks there ought to be some sort of limitation imposed upon immigration, is somehow xenophobic or problematic. We would also benefit from stories that explore, not just what the new country owes to her immigrants, but what those immigrants owe to their new country.

I do not think that I have encountered a children's book about immigrants before, that so perfectly explores this latter idea, than Sugar in Milk. The Parsi legend related to the girl by her aunt demonstrates not just that immigrants have something to contribute to their new country, but that what they contribute needs to improve that country. If the host country provides the milk - safety from persecution (as in the inset story), or economic opportunity - then the newcomer should provide the sugar. The ending of the book shows this idea in action, depicting the girl opening up to her new surroundings, and making friends. The implication seems to be that her newfound positive attitude will lead to better things. While definitely not a believer that positive attitude can address all problems - prejudice is a real thing, and can sometimes manifest itself in concrete and destructive ways, regardless of the outlook of the victim - I do think that it is a better starting point, than a fear of and a refusal to engage with the new culture in which newcome immigrants find themselves.

This is a lovely book, and I enjoyed almost everything about it, from the thoughtful, emotionally resonant framing story about the girl, to the idea of folklore as something that can give meaning to our lives, and be used to understand our present circumstances. I simply adored Khoa Le's artwork, loving the gorgeously decorative endpapers, the beautifully expressive interior scenes, the elegantly stylized figures, and the use of color and light throughout. The modern-day setting appears to be New York City, judging by the buildings depicted, and the final scenes in Central Park, which I found appealing. The illustrations here really worked with the text, and I appreciated how the inset story was made visually distinct from the framing story, through the use of decorative borders. I have encountered Khao Le's work before, both in her own books - The Cloud Princess, Sun and Moon Sisters - as well as in her illustrations for Kao Kalia Yang's The Most Beautiful Thing, but I think this may be the most beautiful book she has yet produced, at least of the titles I have myself seen. The richness of these illustrations is astonishing!

Given all of these undeniable virtues, this might have been one of my rare five-star book reviews, had it not been for one thing: namely, the lack of any afterword explaining the history behind the inset legend. This is an omission I find to be a great shame, as most American children have no idea who the Parsis are, why their ancestors had to flee Persia, and what Zoroastrianism is. Without that knowledge, the story told by the aunt here might be perceived as just a fairy-tale, rather than as something that springs from human history. The non-fiction story behind this legend - Zoroastrianism was the native religion of ancient Persia, whose adherents were persecuted and slaughtered by Arab Muslims during the 7th-century Arab conquest of that land. Rather than convert, some believers fled eastward from Persia, finding refuge in India, and eventually becoming the modern Indian ethnic group known as the Parsis - is every bit as fascinating as the legend itself, and while I can understand not incorporating it into the main narrative, the absence of any explanatory note is a real missed opportunity. Leaving that critique aside, this is one I would recommend to any picture-book reader looking for stories about immigration, and how to approach new cultures, as well as to those who appreciate gorgeous illustration.

Addendum: Those seeking a more traditional retelling of the Parsi folktale related here by the aunt, should seek out Mary Joslin's collection, The Lion Classic Wisdom Stories, in which the tale appears, under the title "A Bowl of Milk: A Parsi Tale, from Persia and India." show less

Rating: 4* of five

The Publisher Says: From bestselling author Thrity Umrigar, a thrilling and haunting story of an Indian-American woman who becomes the prime suspect when her wife goes missing.

When Aliya and Samantha have a fight one night, Samantha goes for a run early the next morning—and doesn’t come back.
Aliya reports her wife Samantha as missing, but as a gay and Muslim daughter of immigrants, she’s immediately suspected by her neighbors in Samantha's disappearance. Scared and show more furious and feeling isolated as everyone around her doubts her innocence, Aliya makes one wrong choice after another. All the while, Samantha is being held captive, strategizing how to escape before things escalate even more. Meanwhile, Aliya must fight to prove her innocence in the public eye and save her wife. But is safety ever truly possible for these women even after Samantha is rescued?

A provocative examination of suburban mores, Missing Sam captures the terror manifested in today’s political climate, and the real dangers, both physical and psychological, of being Brown and queer in America.

I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA NETGALLEY. THANK YOU.

My Review: I was leery of reading this expansion on the "be careful of your words, you do not which will be your last" aphorism. I took the DRC because I like stories by and about my lesbian siblings in Otherhood, and because I'm pretty damned sure we're going to see this kind of horror again in the future so I wanted to get it out there.

Sam and Ali are well-drawn, fully realized people. We see each one's PoV, so we know what Ali doesn't, that Sam is alive. It should diminish the stakes, yet Author Umrigar uses the technique well enough that it did not.

I was, for the most part, glad to keep reading the story though as parents and social media and investigators kept becoming more toxic by the page I wanted to say, "Thrity! enough already!" When piling on the trouble the story begins to feel like the artificial construct it is. Never mind that reality does this ad more to people...fiction is different, plays by different rules. When COVID hit, I hit the wall. It took some time for me to come back.

After Sam is rescued, the true horror (for me) began: How do you put yourself...your wife...you entire life...back together after the sheer awfulness of what each of you has been through? What alchemy do you need to work in order to remake bonds that have been, without either one's volition, shattered? This horror was very well, very believably, explored. The ending was the culmination of multiple strands of un/making and remodeling.

What kept me from making a bigger fuss about the book was the dropped and abandoned threads, eg Kabir's development. I loved the challenged queer marriage that had to sustain or fail the spouses...it's the way reality is when you're in a committed relationship. The resolution Author Umrigar presents is pitch-perfect. I think the story of an immigrant, a Muslim, a queer woman, interacting with the power structures that see her as enemy Other, is one we should all reckon with.

It's not like the world is waiting for us to wake up to injustice on our own. It is ringing alarm bells and sounding klaxons and stories like this one are the easy way to see why waking up to it is so important. show less