Shirley P. Glass (1936–2003)

This book is religious, heteronormative propaganda. I read it at the same time I read Redefining Our Relationships by Wendy O Matik, which was much better, even for people who don't want to be in an open relationship because it discusses ambiguity within relationships/friendships between men and women as being healthy and normal, not something to fear or repress. Monogamy might be a goal or an ideal to strive for, but within long term relationships it is usually not the reality. Jealousy and show more possessiveness are part of the problem - just because you are in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you own them or get to control their body as if it is your property. The whole idea that having an "emotional affair" is cheating/infidelity is like committing a thought crime or something. I mean, ok, people get crushes, they fall in and out of love with their friends, whatever - but if we really love them, don't we want our partners to be happy and feel free enough to connect with others who love and care for them? If that can happen with respect and compassion for the relationship, then really, is there a problem? Society tells us that love outside of a primary relationship is threatening, but is that necessarily true? I think we need to question this. show less

Perhaps one of the the leading texts on the practical realities of human relationships, on the work of marriage and forgiveness, and on the question of fidelity and trust. This book is realistic and practical in paving a way forward that takes our human limits into account alongside the hope of something better.

From all the positive reviews I was expecting some grand new insights from this book, but all I really got was "talk to your partner: ask for what you need and answer fully and immediately," and "as long as both people work to make things to work out (and that's a fine thing to want and surround yourself with), things will eventually work out." Well, um. Okay.