Ape's 2015 Challenge (4)

Currently Reading: The Archer's Tale
Currently Playing (PS4): The Order: 1886


Books read: 45
Pages read: 13,138

January:
1. Blood of the Tiger by Judy A. Miller
2. The Foreshadowing by Marcus Sedgwick
3. Frog by Mo Yan

February:
4. Embedded by Dan Abnett
5. Red Equinox by Douglas Wynne
6. Deadly Companions by Dorothy H. Crawford
7. The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells

March:
8. The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester
9. Eye of the Whale by Douglas Carlton Abrams
10. Nefertiti by Nick Drake

April:
11. Red Planet Blues by Robert J. Sawyer
12. Genesis Alpha by Rune Michaels
13. Agincourt by Bernard Cornwell
14. Prey by Michael Crichton
15. The Book of Skulls by Robert Silverberg
16. Pod by Stephen Wallenfels

May:
17. Dead World Resurrection by Joe McKinney
18. America Again by Stephen Colbert
19. Minecraft: Essential Handbook by Stephanie Milton
20. Minecraft: Redstone Handbook by Nick Farwell
21. The Owl Keeper by Christine Brodien-Jones
22. Spiral by Paul McEuen

June:
23: Kraken by Wendy Williams
24. A Nameless Witch by A. Lee Martinez
25. The Sons of Liberty #1 by Alexander and Joseph Lagos
26. Sagramanda by Alan Dean Foster

July:
27. The Complete Concrete by Paul Chadwick
28. Beowulf by The Person Who Wrote Beowulf
29. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
30. Life in the Undergrowth by David Attenborough
31. Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton

August:
32. The American Plague by Molly Caldwell Crosby
33. Minecraft: Construction Handbook by Matthew Needler and Phill Southam
34. Minecraft: Combat Handbook by Stephanie Milton
35. Useful Idiots by Jan Mark
36. The Dispatcher by Ryan David Jahn

September:
37. Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore
38. Tutankhamun by Nick Drake
39. Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell
40. Kingdom Under Glass by Jay Kirk

October:
41. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith
42. The Wolfman by Jonathan Maberry
43. This Dark Earth by John Hornor Jacobs
44. Ghost Monster by Simon Clark
45. Dreamthorp by Chet Williamson

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Video Games: 15

January:
1. Crysis 3
2. Little Deviants

February:
3. The Walking Dead: Season 1
4. The Walking Dead: Season 2

March:
5. Arcania
6. The Wolf Among Us

April:
7. Unit 13
8. Mirror's Edge
9. Gravity Rush
10. LittleBigPlanet 3

May
11. Terraria

June
-

July
-

August
-

September
12. Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition
13. Dragon Age: Inquisition

October:
14. Battlefield: Hardline
15. Frozen Synapse: Prime
16. Tearaway: Unfolded

Happy new thread!

Happy new thread, Ape-man!

Enjoy your Crighton book. His books are always a treat.

I like the bug book. I'd read it. But I prefer just watching insects. They're relaxing for me, like how fish in aquariums are to some people. And I'm not sure what kind of dragonflies we have here, so I'll take your word for it. :)

Oh, yeah, and hi! :) Nice new thread. *scribbles Micky wuz here on the wall* Wow, lookit that. Those Canadians tag everything, don't they? :P

Happy new thread!

>5 saraslibrary: Hey! Don't blame me for stuff!

Happy new thread!

>7 MickyFine: Oh, I didn't blame you for the fire on the rug or the broken windows. I'll take credit for those. So, see? I didn't blame you for everything. ;) Would you like me to spellcheck it and add a period at the end?

Happy new thread! I've read a few Crichton books but have to admit I've never even heard of that one...

New Thread! New Thread!! Read all about it here!!! : )

Welcome Leah, Micky, Xymon, Sara, Jennifer, Misti, Mary, and Kim! :)

Xymon: Yeah, I've enjoyed most of his books, and so far I'm enjoying this one too.

Sara: Well, there is a documentary associated with the book, but I don't know how it compares.

Micky: She wasn't blaming you, she was just tattling on the naughty thing you did. Bad Canadian! :P

Mary: It's actually a modernized translation of Ahmad Ibn Fadian's manuscript, but Crichton fictionalizes it by combining it with the Beowulf myth. :)

>12 Ape: That's it. I'm going into the Canadian corner and never coming out again.

No no, stay here! Although if you ARE going to the Canadian corner, try not to scribble on the walls this time, okay? :P

>13 MickyFine: Bring back some of those pickle doritos and baby swiss crackers .

32. Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton



Pages: 211
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 1976

Fiction - Fantasy/Retelling
Owned

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I'm naturally familiar with Crichton's science fiction, but I wasn't aware of this book until I stumbled upon it in a second-hand shop. Crichton takes the manuscripts of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, a muslim diplomat who visited the Volga Bulgars in 920 AD and described their culture in writing that has survived today, and combines it with the Beowulf legend. Instead of simply traveling and observing, he gets swept up in a heroes quest to rid a kingdom plagued by the Wendol, a terrifying group of mist monsters that attack in the night when the fog creeps down from the mountains.

The use of Fadlan's manuscripts to bring it to life works fantastically, and it also offers all the insight into Scandinavian culture that you get from the original Beowulf poem. From a scholarly perspective It would probably be a heinous crime to say that Eaters of the Dead is an improvement over Beowulf, but from an average every-day reader's perspective it's a surprisingly worthwhile book. It's an interesting new take on an old myth, and I think it deserves a bit more attention than it has received since it was published nearly 40 years ago. I'm sure classical purists hate it for not being "true" to the original poem, but if you believe that stories should change and evolve along with the culture that's producing it, then this modern version is definitely for you.

....pickle Doritos? *Blanch*

I had mango salsa Pringles recently. I managed to stop at 1. Isn't that supposed to be impossible with potato chips?

>17 Ape: I know they sound gross and I hate pickles but these things were addictive as I drove through Canada to Alaska

I'm mortified. I've heard of pickle candy canes as well, though. That makes sense, I imagine it would be similar to sour apple. But...Doritos!? I'll take your word for it, and stick to cool ranch. :P

I don't think we have dill pickle Doritos up here. Just dill pickle potato chips. Do you guys not have them? I thought it was a pretty traditional chip flavour. Then again, we have ketchup chips too and I don't think you have those either...

We do have Ketchup potato chips now, but I remember hearing they were a Canadian thing when they first starting showing up. I've never seen or heard of pickle Doritos or potato chips though.

>21 Ape: Dill pickle potato chips are pretty dang delicious. You're missing out.

>13 MickyFine: - The Canadian corner is back?! YAY! *looks around for the corner*

>14 Ape: - What.... not scribbling on the walls.... but.... but ... well, fine.

>22 MickyFine: - I seem to be partial to the cheddar and sour cream potato chips at the moment, but I do love the dill ones!

Happy new thread and happy summer, Stephen!

Happy new thread, Stephen!

It is definatly a Canadian thing. Saw them at a lot of gas stations and such. Once we crossed the border they were not to be found. I think White Horse was the last place I saw them. Speaking of White Horse, do Canadians not believe in crosswalks. I see you make them but nobody as we drove through downtown used one.

>17 Ape: yep.... they say once you pop you can't stop..... I like the loaded baked potato ones :)

>25 xymon81: Depends on what town you're in and what time of day it is... :)

Micky: It turns out, we do have them:


...unless those are also only sold in Canada. :P

Hi Lori! I absolutely encourage you to draw on your own walls as much as you like. :)

Hi Amber!

Xymon: You have to find Larry the Cable Guy's dill pickle potato chips!

Jennifer: I definitely stopped with the Mango Salsa ones. *Shudders*

Micky: Yeah, I never use crosswalks, but in my defense, I live in a small town so I don't see cars on the street very often.

In other news, I won a copy of Christopher Moore's upcoming book (Secondhand Souls) through Early Reveiwers. :D

They look like this. I have tried all the flavors of the Larry series. I got alot of free samples when I saw him in person last year in NC for 4th of July.

That is a sweet book, I have plenty for trade when your finished with it.

Heck no, it's MIIIINNNEEEE! :P

>29 Ape: Congrats on the awesome win! Whose arm did you have to break to get that one? ;)

I think I'll pass on all this weird Canadian cuisine and just drink the pickle juice instead. :P

No arms broken, I swear! I may have sold my soul to Satan for it, but considering the title I think it's oddly appropriate.

>33 Ape: Yep, considering you were born with no soul. :P *wonders where Stephen stole a soul from* Either way, happy reading! :)

>29 Ape: Man, lucky you! I already had mine preordered but I was hoping to win one and start it early. Can't wait!

>29 Ape: WooHoo!! Congrats!

Congrats!

I'll take your Mango Salsa chips because I actually really like them. I like the ginger wasabi ones better though.

Sara: I may have been born with a soul! I lost it through decades of rigorous pessimism and antipathy. :D

Leah: Yeah, I would have had to wait until I could get a copy through a library, so yay for no waiting!

Amber: Thanks! I am excited to read it.

Nora: Ginger wasabi sounds interesting, I don't think I have seen those, but I don't ever buy potato chips because I eat them all. The same is true for cookies......

yummmm

Well, last night was pretty much the worst ever. always let Shyanne outside just before I go to bed, her last chance before she has to wait 7+ hours until morning. She, unfortunately, was hit by a car, somehow. She has a perimeter fence and can't actually leave the yard, and the skid marks on the road indicate that someone sped away, not braked quickly, so my mom thinks someone may have pulled into her driveway to turn around and then backed over her on their way out, and then sped off. Which is understandable, I was preparing for bed when I heard her screaming outside, and it was the worst sound I've heard in my life.

She's alive, thankfully, after a restless night we took her into a vet, her leg was broken in two places and she needed surgery, which she was done with a few hours ago and is recovering from now. They think she'll be home tomorrow. My mom is now stuck with a $2,500+ vet bill that she can't pay because she's already in debt, which I feel terrible about considering the fact that she shouldn't be supporting me at my age to begin with, let alone my dog. *Sigh* But I'm glad Shyanne is going to be okay. The next couple months are going to be trying, both with Shyanne's recovery and my mother's inevitable condemnation/ridicule for having to support a man in his late 20's, but right now I'm just anticipating picking Shyanne up and getting her back home.

I'm so sorry for poor Shyanne! And you! I'm glad to hear that she's going to be alright. My dearly departed cat got the sickest he ever got when I was about the poorest I've ever been and it was a nightmare. I was luckily able to argue down his vet bills (being able and willing to give IVs, injections, and remove stitches comes in handy) but I still had to borrow money from a friend and eat off brand Ramen for a while to cover it. It's emotionally draining to worry about them while also feeling bad about how much they cost. I'm sending you both some good vibes for the future.

Im so sorry to hear that, hope the recovery goes well. Ill pray for you guys.

Oh, no! I'm so sorry that you both had to go through that! Hearing your pet in pain is a terrible, terrible thing. Thank goodness she'll be okay. Worry about the other stuff later, I say!

Oh, I'm so sorry about Shyanne's accident -- and so glad that she will be okay.

>40 Ape: OMG, Stephen, I am so sorry! :( But I'm so relieved Shyanne's ok. How's she doing? Were you guys able to take her home today?


^ For Shyanne, of course. But don't sweat the bill. Some vet clinics can make payment plans. I'll see what I can do about finding an Angry Mother Shield. ;)

Thanks everyone, Shyanne is indeed home, and I'm quite happy for it. She is going to be a high maintenance puppy for the next couple months. I'll be up at 1am delivering pain meds, and she basically isn't allowed to move, which isn't too hard right now but I know in a week or 2 it'll be a trial to keep her calm. So this is Shyanne's life for the next 8 weeks.



Well, not this precisely. The next time she wakes up and I take her outside she'll have the most amazing pillow fort ever. :P

Yay! All dogs should be high-maintenance pups (well, without the vet visit, of course, and the car incident--the driver who, I think, should do some time + fines, but I know how lenient the law is, so I'll just send my bad vigilante mojo your way). :) I'm sure she'll love the pillow fort. Who wouldn't?

So sorry for all stuff you're dealing with. Hugs for you and Shyanne.

Sara: Normally I'd say that it is unfair to be angry with drivers to hit dogs. I've never hit one, but there have been a couple of times when a dog has dodged into the road in front of my car. In this case though, it does actually look like it happened on my mom's property, so... >:(

Thanks Micky. :)

so glad your puppy will be okay - sorry that this happened :(

totally had to edit this to make sense LOL

Thanks, Jennifer. :)

July Summary

Books: 5
Pages: 1,154

Fiction: 4
Nonfiction:1

Owned: 1
Library checkout: 4

>49 Ape: I suppose what I should've said was hit and run. The driver was more than likely aware of what s/he was doing, but was either too scared or uncaring to take responsibility for what s/he did. I have yet to hit anything, but I know I'd stop and take the animal to an emergency clinic. No question about it. Too bad you can't match the tire tracks or have a nosy neighbor notice something that day. Either way, I'm just glad Shyanne survived it all! :)

>52 Ape: Very blue and green. I still really love the little bug shot. :)

I finished The American Plague, Can't focus on a review right now, and I probably won't start anything new for the same reason. Hope everyone is doing okay! *hugs*

How's Shyanne doing? Give her a very gentle hug for me, please!

Absolutely. Shyanne is doing well. She has 1 problem area, she had a huge spot of deep "road" rash on the back of her leg that is difficult to deal with. It covers the backside of her joint and also goes up and down her leg, so as you can imagine, when she walks or bends her leg it has a tendency to, well, not stay in once piece. I'll spare you the gruesome details. It's also on the broken leg, so applying pressure is forbidden. It basically needs constant attention. Her leg itself is strong, she walks better and more vigorously every day, and the sutures from the operation are clean and healthy-looking.

This ordeal has taught me what a dreadful caretaker I am. Not that I'm doing a bad job, she feeling far too good for her own good and I can already tell keeping her calm is going to be a trial over the next 7+ weeks. But my nerves are frayed. I'm a nervous anxiety-ridden wreck at the moment, the cost of being a pessimist and constantly expecting the worst, I suppose!

It's nothing compared to what she is going through, though. Poor thing. :(

Stopping by to get updated on happenings in your world, Stephen and absolutely horrified to read about Shyanne's injury. Poor Shyanne! Poor You! Glad to read that Shyanne is doing well, all things considered.

Thanks Lori. She is improving by the day. Still pretty slow and hobble-y, but she eyes the couch with increasingly intense determination every time I take her out of her cage. She has been great though, other than hating the cone I have to put over her head when I sleep and having the ability to detect her meds in almost everything I put it in, she has been fairly cooperative. She has never been in a cage before so I was expecting lots of whining/howling, but she seems to have reluctantly accepted her cruel and horrible fate. :)

On the reading front, I still haven't started anything new. I'm starting to normalize a bit, my anxiety is under control and I'm adjusting to the sleep schedule (that being basically no sleep at all) so maybe I will feel up to reading soon. It feels weird to not have an active book going, but I haven't had much time to dwell on it.

Oh, and I dusted off my Vita (handheld gaming system) and it has been a huge help, since it doesn't require much concentration and I am able to play it while keeping an eye on Shyanne. I have finished every game I have for it, but at least it is something to do that doesn't involve worry and stress. :)

I was curious if she was going to have to wear the cone of shame. Poor, poor Shyanne. Actually, all things considered, she's pretty lucky. :) I'm glad you're getting into the swing of things as a doggy caretaker and that you found your Vita. Your reading will probably pick up again once Shyanne's all healed. In the meantime, you could always bone up on your dog massaging skills! :) I'm sure she'd love that.

Oh yes, cone of shame indeed. She actually learned what "no licking" means pretty fast, but just because she knows not to do it when I am watching doesn't mean she won't try it when I am asleep. :P

Shyanne gets plenty of dog massages, but I think she knows I only do it to comfort her right before I do something horrible to her, like apply freezing ice packs to her bare skin. I mostly try to let her rest as much as possible, though. We rarely have more than a couple hours between pills/ice packs/ointments/potty breaks, so I'd like her to get as much rest as possible in between.

32. The American Plague by Molly Caldwell Crosby



Pages: 282
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2006

Nonfiction: Medical History (Yellow Fever)
Owned

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You don't hear about Yellow Fever in popular science as much as other diseases such as Ebola, Smallpox, and Plague, but it has proven to be a devestating disease in the past. Not only is it a hemoraghic fever like Ebola, but it is spread by mosquitos, so it can be difficult to contain. Maybe it isn't taken seriously because of it's milder forms, in the same way that people forget how deadly the flu can become, plus the fact that it is manageable now with vaccines. There is still no cure after someone becomes infected, however, and so it can wreak havoc on a community if it moves into an area that isn't normally exposed to it. I genuine concern with rising global temperatures creating new habitats for the mosquitos.

The American Plague is divided into 3 parts. The first focuses on the 1878 outbreak in Memphis, Tennessee, which may have had a major impact on the developement of the United States at the time. She then moves on to Cuba, detailing the controversial (and deadly) studies of the disease and how Walter Reed and his team of scientists discovered/confirmed the mosquitor vector of the virus, and at the end there is a short section detailing more modern information about Yellow Fever.

I enjoyed the book. It's smooth and readable, and will appeal to science and history lovers alike. The format is what makes it so readable, iti almost feels fictionalized at time, but the everything is taken from diaries and journals written by the people she is discussing. There are extensive notes in the back detailing where all the information is coming from, which you expect from a work of nonfiction, but she personalizes it and discusses it openly in her Notes section, which I appreciated.

I would definitely recommend it to those interested in the topic.

>62 Ape: Cheerful topic. ;)

Well, you know me, I'm a cheerful guy. ;)

That's what I always say. :P

I'm pretty sure you always say I'm a creepy perv. :P

33. Minecraft: Construction Handbook by Matthew Needler and Phil Southam



Pages: 78
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2014

Nonfiction: Guide/Video Games
Owned

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This is the 3rd book in the Schoolastic Minecraft handbook series and this one focuses on building, my personal favorite aspect of the game. Intriguingly written by Matthew Needler and Phil Southam, two members of the FyreUK team who are well-known in the Minecraft community for their amazing builds.

It gives you step-by-step instructions for various simple builds, like houses, ships, and castle walls, and then shows some extreme examples of some of the over-the-top things people have built online. I admit I was expecting something a bit different going into it, I thought it would give more practical advice about how to use different items to add depth and detail to buildings, but it was mostly step-by-step guides for replicating the builds in the book.

It was still interesting, and more importantly, it did inspire to jump back into Minecraft immediately after finishing the book and begin a new construction project, which is what a "construction handbook" should probably do.

Some of the ridiculous things FyreUK has done in Minecraft:

>32 saraslibrary: The American Plague is so good! I'm glad you liked it.

Right now I'm starting The Malaria Project: The U.S. Government's Secret Mission to Find a Miracle Cure by Karen M. Masterson which seems like it would be just up your alley.

>68 Ape: Those are pretty intricate. The first puts me in mind of the interior of Hagia Sophia -- wonder if that was intentional?

Nora: Yeah, it was a solid and enjoyable book. The Malaria Project does sound like something I woud like. I've read one book about malaria (The Fever) but that one focused more on history. Well, I won't be able to take a trip to the library for a couple months, but I'll add it to my wishlist in the meantime. Along with Th Girl With All the Gifts. :)

Misti: It is certainly possible, but I don't really know. I believe that is there "Dwarven City."

I forgot to mention they do timelapse videos on Youtube, so you can see how the builds come together. It can be found here.

>67 Ape: one of the few books I was able to get my child to read - thanks for sharing >71 Ape: she loved the timelapse videos on Youtube - but told me that it wasn't really possible - I was like blasphemy you could do it if you really wanted to :) now I'm ready to take her 360 back since mine broke and commandeer the minecraft game and make me a really nice castle :)

Haha, yeah, it is absolutely possible. They just have a several people working on it at once. They do use texture packs to male them prettier, but the structures are totally possible! :D

I'm currently living in a nice dark oak mansion at the moment, but I am playing with mods intalled so I am running out of space in it. Maybe I will take a couple screenshots later. :)

>73 Ape: that is cool - do they have those texture packs for the 360? or mods for that matter?.... maybe I should invest in a pc version when I upgrade to a desktop or a better laptop - this one just has the minimums - I can't even play sims on it :(

The Playstation has texture packs, so I would think the Xbox would as well. When you go to load your game, where you are choosing your difficulty and whatnot, on the Playstation there are little square boxes that represent the different textures. There are thousands for PC, but only a few for consoles, and you have to pay extra for a lot of them. I think there were a couple freebies though, like the Fantasy and Natural textures.

Note, you can load your game with all the textures, but if you use one that isn't free you will get a popup saying you have to pay for the texture, and it won't save anything you do while using it. It is just a way to demo it and see what your world would look like before paying for it. The Steampunk texture pack looks cool, but I can't justify spending money on them when there are so many for free on the PC. :(

Mods are PC only. They are made by people online, and work by editing the game's code when you intall them, so modding isn't possible with console games.

>75 Ape: I should have known about the mods - i use them when playing sims - thanks for the info!

Yep. I found a screenshot on Google, this is the screen where you choose your texture pack on the 360.

Here.

On the PS3 it shows all the texture packs, but maybe with the 360 it only shows which ones you have purchased? *Shrug*

34. Minecraft: Combat Handbook by Stephanie Milton



Pages: 78
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2014

Nonfiction: Guide/Video Games
Owned

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The Minecraft combat handbook covers everything combat related. It offers a lot of statistics for armor, weapons, and enemies, as well as offering details on the games two of the games three bosses: the Wither and the Ender Dragon. The book was published before the Elder Guardian was released. It also covers PVP situations, and how to effectively fight against other human characters in multiplayer, and it also gives a couple step-by-step guides for building traps for you base, including an exploding tree trap that I wasn't actually familiar with.

As I've said about these books in the past, because they are books, they become outdated fast, especially since the game is constantly updating. Not only that, but I noticed it lacked some important details. For example, when describing how to build an enchantment table to enchant equipment, it failed to mention how to surround it with bookshelves to allow for more powerful enchantments. It also didn't mention how to add redstone and glowstone dust to potions to increase their potency. It also offers do's and don'ts for each mob, but the most major don't ever for a skeleton is to not fight it in water, which is not what the book says for the "don't" on that page.

It's still nice to have a compendium of all the enemies in the game, and for that reason this one is probably the most fun to just flip through on a whim. As for the information, I'd recommend finding a wiki page for something more up-to-date.

Have you been following the cases of plague across the Western US lately? Some states are experiencing infections for the first time in 20+ years.

Yeah, I remember reading about it in school, actually, when we were learning about plague in European history class, but then it was more like a silly anecdote. Not so much now. Fortunately it isn't the antibiotic-resistant variety. ...erm, yet? o.o

I said I would take screenshots of my minecraft world. So, here is what I've been building lately. This was all done in a survival world, on easy, so there's always a chance of Creepers exploding and ruining my day.

1. Main house from afar.


2. Main house up close.


3. Behind main house. I used a reference for the windmill, so I don't get credit for that.


I was only using the iron bars for windows as a placeholder until I took the time to smelt glass, but then never took the time to replace them once I finally had a surplus of sand. Also, I've been meaning to add more detail/texture to the 2nd store exterior for ages, but just haven't gotten around to it.

Shyanne update: She's doing fantastic! She had a checkup a few days ago and the vet was pleased with her progress. She had all her staples removed and all of her road rash areas are completely healed, other than the horrendous one on the back of her leg, which is going to take some time. We are completely done with heat compresses, ice packs, and medications, so now all she needs is ointment twice a day and brief walks outside. It's been a lot easier on both of us, she gets to sleep more and I've had more time to read, which I've started doing again after her checkup.

She has been great with her cage too, which I'm surprised about. She has to be "locked up" whenever I'm not actively walking her, but she has taken to her cage, to the point where I think she might have Stockholm Syndrome. I sometimes have to stop her from going in long enough to feed her. It's funny when I have her out in the living room thinking she wants to walk about a bit and be free and all she does is desperately try to hobble back to her cage. I suppose she feels safe in there, considering over the past couple weeks coming out of the cage meant I was about to do something horrible to her, like hold freezing cold ice packs to her leg or cover her in smelly ointment. :P

As for me, as previously mentioned, now that Shyanne requires a little less attention I've been able to read. Sleep too, that has been nice, nothing having to wake up at 1am for a pain pill. I'm 200 pages into Useful Idiots and have found it to be a pleasant surprise. In video game news, I've been playing modded Minecraft on the PC (spent several hours making a botanical garden before I realized the Botania mod is pretty weak compared to the others I have installed) and my sister downloaded a few games on my Vita for me when she spent the weekend at her boyfriend's house, so I started Deadman's Cross - a zombie-themed card battle game that I need to be online to play - and Jet Car Stunts, which is a lot of fun. Once I finish that I have Frozen Synapse Prime and Duke Nukem 3D (Megaton Edition) to play.

Also, I have "sort of" bookshelves now. My sister was throwing out this cheap, flimsy metal shelving thing that looks like it is straight out of the 70's. I figured it could at least hold paperbacks without collapsing, so that has freed up a lot of space. Now, when is that next book sale at the library... ;)

Glad you and Shyanne are both doing well. :D

happy that shyanne is doing better! And you get to read again... more books... more books

Oh, wonderful news about Shyanne!
I'm not surprised that she's taken to her crate; most dogs like having a crate as a sae sort of hidey-hole. Both Tuppence and Mario love theirs.

>85 scaifea: I was going to say the same. In the wild, dogs live in dens such as caves or holes dug into the root structure of trees, so a crate mimics that nicely for them. My dear Daisy liked her bed in a corner under my desk and spent most of her time there even without a door of any kind to stop her.

Hi Stephen! Aside from the horrible Shyanne accident (poor baby! and poor you!), I hope you've been doing well. Glad to see S is healing nicely, and that you've had more time to read lately. And yay for free bookshelves!

Thanks everyone. I figured Shyanne would disapprove of the cage, because most of my mother's dogs hated them growing up. My mom always had Dachsunds growing up and they are prone to back injuries. She has one now that would get sore backs regularly and need to be caged for a week or so, and whenever she had to be in a cage she would whine and moan and cry to get out. But she's a major lapdog, it's the end of her existence if she can't sit on or beside someone. Shyanne is a bit more independent, despite my incessant cuddling, so I guess she doesn't mind it so much. :)

Shyanne had her stitches removed today, which went easily and painlessly. The vet was, again, very pleased with her progress. He told me I could let her on the furniture now so long as she doesn't jump off, but I don't trust her to get excited by the mail lady or passing motorcyclists so I think she'll be forbidden for a little while longer. I still need to apply cream to the back of her leg (Yep, 3 weeks and it's still not close to being healed, but it is constantly improving) and she doesn't need any more checkups for 6 weeks. That's when she will have the metal rod removed from her leg, at which point she will be completely done with everything and will be able to do as much as she likes.

I'm not even halfway through this (3 weeks, 6 to go) but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I guess. So much that I felt comfortable enough to leave her in her cage and leave the house for an hour. My sister wanted to do some birthday shopping for her boyfriend and I needed to pick up a few things myself, so we took a quick trip to town. She went to Dollar Tree for candy so I bought a couple books, The Emerald Storm and The Watch, and Shyanne did just fine on her own.

Things are going great. The first bill should be arriving at my mom's house soon. That's something to look forward too. -.-

Oh, and I just learned it was my 7 year Thingaversary a couple days ago. :)

Happy Thingaversary! And glad to hear that Shyanne is doing so well!

Thanks Leah. :)

35. Useful Idiots by Jan Mark



Pages: 409
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2004

Science Fiction
Owned

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I entered this book somewhat blind. I didn't read the summary, and I wasn't familiar with the author. All I knew was the genre, and that the size of the text (large) and the size of the margins (large) would make for a quick, which is what I needed when I started the book. I was pleasantly surprised by what I found once I got into it.

Set in the year 2255, the United Kingdom is quite a different place. I mean, sure, it is technologically advanced, but what I liked about Useful Idiots is that it doesn't focus on that. Buildings are built and destroyed in the span of a decade, people live in emotionless box-sized apartments, archeology is frowned upon and Aboriginals live on protected land, where they live traditional (and archaic) lives. What I like is how understated it all is. How often do you read a book set 30 years in the future and it feels like an alien planet? This feels like it is set on Earth, and yet it feels alien in more of a figurative sense.

The plot follows Merrick Korda, and archeologist who stumbles upon an intact skeleton on the edge of an Aboriginal reserve. The legality of excavating it is undetermined, but he and his boss go through with it anyway, and this directs them down a tumultuous path that forces them to question the way they choose to live their lives.

I read this purely out of convenience, but it turned out to be a really good one. One minor complaint and the reason i didn't give it 5 stars, the author spent a lot of time building up a conspiracy theory that never really went anywhere. The book would have been fine without it.

An interesting side note: the book seems to be tagged as Children's or Young Adult on a lot of sites. While it is true that it was published by a children's book publisher, there is nothing about this that makes it a children's book. In fact, sex is mentioned casually a couple times, there is a sex scene, and some violence towards the end. I would describe it as adult speculative fiction with a science fiction theme. I don't think anyone who has read it wold call it a Children's book.

Great news about Shyanne! And Happy Thingaversary!!

Aw, so sorry to hear about Shyanne, but glad she's improving. And happy belated Thingaversary! (I'd feel sorrier about being late, but you didn't notice either, soooo....) :P

Thanks Amber. :)

Mary: Haha, yeah, I almost always forget, and usually realize a week or two after it has passed. Thanks, though. Even if you were super late and all. *cough cough*

Excellent news about Shyanne's progress, and a happy belated Thingaversary!

>82 Ape: Good job on being Shyanne's little nurse! :) (Did you wear a sexy nurse outfit and talk baby talk to her? :P) I'm glad everything's healed so well. She really lucked out. And yay for sleep, reading, and gaming! :) Always good things. And awesome on the bookshelves. It doesn't matter how 70's they look. Believe me, once you have books stacked on them, you won't notice the shelves as much. Now start hoarding those books like I do! ;)

>85 scaifea: & >86 leahbird: I used to think crates were so "evil," until I met dogs who were basically raised in them and considered them their personal space/rooms. I call my mom's male dog's crate his man cave to get away from all us girls. ;) Actually, he rarely goes in there unless he's getting a special messy treat (raw bones, etc) or the sun's at a perfect slant on his "cave" (he loves to sunbathe).

>88 Ape: Speaking of dog crates again, I remember we bought a huge one for my mom's Great Dane. Well, she totally freaked out one time we left her in it while we were running errands, and we come back to a bent cage door and a loose-running Dane. :D We never used it again for her. She established she was a "person" and her rightful place was on the entire sofa. Never argue with a dog that outweighs you, I say. ;)

Yay! Stitches are out--good deal! :) I'll bet she can't wait until this is all done and over with. You too, I bet. :)

Btw good book buys at the Dollar Tree! :) And I don't know if your sister got any extra items there, but they have awesome party supplies! I've shopped at Hallmark and the Dollar Tree for party bags, etc, and I always get ooh's and aah's over the Dollar Tree stuff the most. Go figure. *shrugs*

Um, woo hoo on the upcoming bill? There's always the shredder, but that would just make things worse, I think. I'm not a spiritual person, but I'll try some magic 8/ouija board/tarot card/troll doll stuff and try and send some good vibes your way.

>89 Ape: Woo hoo! Happy Thingy! :) *sprays silly string all over the place*

>92 Ape: Love the title (that's how I feel while at work)! :D And I'm glad it was a fairly good read. And speaking of sex/violence and the YA tag: teen books are considerably more violent and sexual than I remembered as a kid. I remember at that age, I was reading some pretty graphic adult books. I had totally skipped YA books, because they were too "tame" for me. But anyway, how did all that sex stuff fair with you? Was it too gratuitous or were you ok with it?

Laura: Thanks! :)

Sara: Haha, yeah, the first thing I thought of when I finished putting books on the shelves was "Okay, now I need more books." :P I don't own any sexy nurse outfits, but I guess I'll have to ask the next sexy nurse I see if I can borrow theirs. I'm sure that won't get me slapped, or the police called on me.

The cage I have right now is definitely Great Dane-sized. It's enormous. You could fit 3 or 4 of me in there comfortably. Shyanne also thinks the sofa is hers, especially since she sleeps on it at night. Having her stitches out is great though, the incision is already disappearing under her fur, and it's nice to have 1 less thing to worry about. Right now, it's just ointment on the back leg (which has shrunk down to the size of a quarter) and keeping her from jumping. This month is almost over, so we're almost halfway through this. :)

Yeah, my sister goes to Dollar Tree whenever she needs cheap little bags or candy bowls to give as presents.

All good vibes are welcome. :D

The sex scene was quick and close to the end of the book, and my mind has mostly been centered on Shyanne lately, so I didn't give it much thought. I suspect much of my depression and loneliness is simply a result of living in seclusion with an idle mind. I don't have much time to dwell on things right now. *Shrug*

36. The Dispatcher by Ryan David Jahn



Pages: 351
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2011

Fiction: Thriller
Owned

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Ian Hunt is a police dispatcher in east Texas. His job mostly consists of sitting around playing Solitaire on his computer, but then one day he gets a call from his daughter. The daughter that disappeared from her bedroom 7 years ago. So begins a mad dash across the wester U.S. as a father in a murderous rage chases down his daughters' kidnapper.

This is a dark and gritty book, and what I liked best is that it didn't have a "good guys vs. bad guys" plot. Ian, the policeman, is not in the frame of mind to play by the rules, amd the author does a great job of humanizing the kidnappers, to the point where you almost feel sorry for them from time to time. Don't get me wrong, you'll be cheering for Ian throughout the book, but the characters are pleasantly multidimensional, which is nice for a change.

I tend to review mysteries and thrillers harshly, simply because they aren't genres I like, but The Dispatcher was a nice surprise. Though it still feels like "just another thriller,". I enjoyed it more than a lot of other books I have read in the genre.

In other news, I received my ER copy of Secondhand Souls yesterday, and it arrived in hardcover! Yay! I definitely wasn't expecting that. I started it earlier and I'm liking it so far. :)

>89 Ape: happy 7th Tingaversary! We must nearly be starting twins, although I was a little after you, I think. Anyway, its been ages since I visited. Good to see you are reading books as well as gaming again, I think you went off them for a bit?
I got my son the Minegraft books and he really likes looking at them, he can't read very well yet being only 7, but I read them to him and it makes me want to build things too! And its not as easy as it looks...especially when we dont even have the proper Minecraft, just some imitation called Exploration Light. The only plus of that is that you cant pick up where you left off, so each session is a new build. It stops him me obsessing over it ;)

>98 Ape: Yep, such is the problem with shelves. We buy them to put our books on, but when we find just a few inches of space, we must fill them up pronto or the world could implode or something fun like that! :P

Oh, yes, and when you ask a nurse for her outfit, make sure you do it in the middle of the night after her shift, then jump out from an alley or in the underground parking lot. And make sure you're in your underwear when you do it. I'm sure she'll totally understand. Nurses are such understanding people. ;)

Three or four Stephens in a dog crate. Hmm. You're giving me bad ideas again. >:) Actually, I used to crawl in my mom's Great Dane's crate with her (the dog, not my mom). It was fun for both of us, kind of like a bonding thing or something. Yeah, I'm weird. :)

Sweet! It sounds like Shyanne's healing up nicely. I guess that's one good thing about accidents happening to younger animals--they have that extra healing "magic" older animals just don't have. I'm so glad she's on the mend. :)

Your sister has the right idea for party supplies. You can sometimes find some really cool things, especially for kids.

I'll even send creepy vibes your way, because you can never have too much creepiness. ;)

Yeah, living practically alone with limited and unpleasant people around can definitely worsen your depression. I can totally vouch for that! But at least it took your mind off the sex scene. Now watch: you'll have a flashback or something in your dreams. Hopefully a good one, though. :P

>99 Ape: That one actually looks pretty darn good. I'm glad it wasn't a bad read for you. :)

>100 Ape: Sweet! You seriously lucked out with that ER win. And I'm glad you're liking it so far. I just love the cover. :)

Hi Megan! I was unable to do much for a couple weeks because Shyanne was injured and I was tending her. You can read about it in post 40 above. I had never heard of Exploration Lite, but that looks interesting. I do tend to get obsessive with my builds, some of them can be quite extensive too. I really wish I could upload pictures from my Playstation 4 world. I can't imagine how much time I spent building things in that world, but unless I take pictures of my TV with my camera, I can't really show them off.

Sara: Thanks for the advice in regard to the nurse. I'll tell her you told me to do it. I can't imagine what bad ideas you might be having, but I imagine I'll probably need a tetanus shot and counseling afterwards. :P

The cover of Secondhand Souls is alarmingly pink, but I like it too. :)

Shyanne update: The big gross road rash thing on the back of her leg is almost completely gone, and that is a super huge relief! That thing was pretty gross at time, and the vet even said it was their biggest concern, but it is almost done with. When I put ointment on it I can cover the whole thing with my index finger, whereas when I first started putting the ointment on it was fist size, and openly bleeding for a good week or so.

Today also marks the halfway point in her recovery. All the hard stuff is done, but she's got another month of bed rest and then she should hopefully get the rod out of her leg and be completely healed. :)

>103 Ape: You're so welcome! :) I figured you'd rather wear a woman's nurse outfit than a guy's. :P And make sure you tell her there's a dog kennel awaiting her. Fun times! Oh, and make sure to smile in your mug shot, 'k? ;) 'Cause that's one for the family photo album.

I'd be happy to administer the tetanus shot ahead of time. 0:) And the tetanus shot is the counseling.

Yeah, the pink kind of hurts my eyes, but it's catchy. Children with sickles. So cute! ;)

>104 Ape: Woo hoo! Go, Shyanne. And Stephen, of course. :) And Vet No Name.

I'm playing a zombie-themed card battle game on my Vita and there is a Nurse that looks like this. It gives me very conflicting emotions.

Oh good, free tetanus shots, this is totally going to be worth it, and not traumatizing at all.

My just-awake brain started to read that next sentence as "The pink eye hurts." The pink eye hurts, and it's scratchy, you say? Don't scratch it!

>106 Ape: That's conflicting?? Heck, even I think that's sexy, blood and gore included. :P You should make her your Sexy Sunday pic.

Sarcasm just makes me find a bigger needle. :P Actually, tetanus shots aren't that bad. I got one a few years ago when I decided to join a dog fight. Good times!! They totally won.

Well, my easily-confused brain now thinks I did write "The pink eye hurts." Must..... Resist..... Can't control the itching! Must itch my eyes with a sickle!

>103 Ape: I can see how you'd get sucked into mine craft building, it is so fun! When i am out and about I start to see things like fences and houses in square blocks.... Uh oh.

Sara: I haven't done Sexy Sunday in awhile. The problem is in order to participate I have to look at loads of pictures of people on Google. *Shudders* :P I'm playing Duke Nukem, which was a horribly cheesy action game from the 90's. It infamous for being too "adult," so maybe I can use that as source material next week. :P

Oh good, big needles. *Gulp* Actually, it's funny, I don't have traditional hospital phobias like a lot of people do. Needles and procedures really don't scare me at all. Talking to receptionists and nurses, however.....

Megan: I'm building a church at the moment. Why would an atheist be building a church? Because I'm filling it with witchery chalk circles and wither skeleton skulls. :P

August Summary

Books: 5
Pages: 1,198

Fiction: 2
Nonfiction:3

Owned: 5
Library checkout: 0

I'm actually happy with those numbers, considering I couldn't read for a week or 2 this month. The Dispatcher and Useful Idiots went incredibly fast once I did start back up again.

Duke Nukem!! I loved that game.

I just saw that they've been serializing the Fables video game into a regular prequel comics series. The first collected issue, Fables: The Wolf Among Us, comes out in November. I know you've not gotten into Fables yet, but this might be a good entry point since you're already familiar with the game.

>109 Ape: There's always Pinterest (that site's kind of fun, but takes awhile to load sometimes). And you don't necessarily have to look at people. You could type in a keyword like drawings, illustrations, photoshop, or something like that so you don't have to see "real" people. There's the deviantart site, too. That's always good for creepy sexy pics.

You should totally do a Duke Nukem pic. I have no idea what game that is, so I'll have to google it.

Yeah, I'm not too afraid of hospitals either. And dentists...meh. I have no problem getting root canals, needles in the gums, etc. If all I had to do in life was get physically harmed on a daily basis by a doc or dentist instead of dealing with people, I think I'd be a lot happier.

>110 Ape: Yay! Mosquitoes, phallic symbols, useful idiots, and dispatchers! :)

>111 Ape: Those page numbers are pretty darn impressive! I don't count my pages, because, well, I doubt they'd even read 100 per month. ;)

Amber: Haha, it's actually significantly more scandalous than I initially thought. Yesterday I ripped off an alien's head and pooped down it's neck. Yeah. Today I got to listen to Duke have sex off screen. Fun. Anyway, it's EXTREMELY crude, and I can see why parents were upset by it back when people thought video games were toys you bought for children. Definitely an "adults only" type of game. :P

Leah: Oh, that's cool! I'm actually already interested in the series, I just don't have an easy or convenient way of reading them. If there is ever a super huge omnibus of a sort at my library, I'll definitely check it out! :)

Sara: Yeah, I can't ever get Pinterest to load on my computer. :( Duke Nukem is one of those controversial shooters from the early days of PC gaming, similar to Doom, Quake, and Wolfenstein.

I tend to read somewhere between 1,200-1,800 pages per month, so it was nice reaching something close to my average when I didn't read for so long. :)

37. Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore



Pages: 337
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2015

Fiction: Humor
Owned

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1 year after the events of A Dirty Job after the events of A Dirty Job, things have finally started to normalize and the Death Merchants are finally back in business. That is, until a screaming banshee shows up at Rivera's soul vessel business wailing about all kinds of doom and the rising of the underworld and whatnot. Right before taking his police taser and electrocuting him into unconsciousness. As Minty Fresh would say, things be getting weird again.

I admit going into it I was a little fuzzy on the detail of A Dirty Job, having read it so long ago, but it all came back to me as soon as I got a few chapters in. How could I forget Lily? And Charlie? And Minty Fresh! They were all still in my head, they just needed to be unburied, and I'm glad they were, because it was a joy to revisit this cast of characters again.

Does Secondhand Souls live up to it's predecessor, though? Well, that's difficult to answer. First let me say that I enjoyed it immensely, I'm a big fan of Christopher Moore and it's a nice addition to his bibliography. But, yes, there's a "but," it seemed to lack a little something, in terms of plot. It seemed to lack focus, and the book was nearly over before I realized simply because I didn't realize a story had formed. I barely noticed the plot wasn't developing though, because I was suitably entertained throughout the book. That is what makes this difficult to judge. It was entertaining and enjoyable from start to finish, I couldn't put it down and loved every minute of it. But there was that moment in the final chapters when I realized the book was ending, and it felt terribly wrong, like someone cut out the last 100 pages of my book.

Don't let that discourage you from reading it, especially if you are a fan of A Dirty Job. It's hilarious, it's addictive, and if you loved the characters from the first book as much as I did you'll be as happy as I was to see them again. I absolutely recommend it if you've read the first book, and if you haven't, then go read that one immediately, because it's amazing.

Stopping by with "hellos" and for a Shyanne update. Glad to see she is doing well. Great review of the Moore book! I have only read The Stupidest Angel so far. Moore has a wonderfully warped sense of humour. I own a copy of A Dirty Job that I have yet to read, but at least I now know to line up a copy of Secondhand Souls so that I can more or less read the two books in quick succession.

>115 Ape: Real or not, you got to rip off an alien's head and poop down its neck?? Then get to listen to a guy have sex?? *jealous* Was he doing it with the alien's head or body or with an actual human?

*shakes fist @ Pinterest* Want me to find you a photo? Give me some tags and I'll find something nightmare-inducing sexy for you. ;)

That's a really good reading average. That's about where I was, too, when I used to work at a different branch and rode the bus to/from work. Now I have no idea where all that extra time's gone. I probably sleep it away now.

>116 Ape: Yep, I still love the cover. Evil kids are just so darn cute. :)

Lori: A Dirty Job is fantastic and you should start reading it right this second! :P

Sara: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it was human women. I forgot about Sexy Sunday again. Well, I'll post something after this anyway, some of that pixelated Duke Nukem sexiness. *Snort*

Sexy sort-of Sunday.



Oh yeah, I know, I'm practically erect just looking at that. Uh huh. Okay, no, but THIS is what made Duke Nukem such a scandalous game in the 90's. Because video games were considered toys for children, this was HIGHLY inappropriate in the eyes of most parents. Oh, how things have changed.

Yeah, I can see where some parents would be bothered by it. But yay for Sexy Sunday and strippers! And money like that I'll never see in a lifetime! :P

Yeah, I think the ESRB (the people that rate video games, similar to the rating system for movies) was fully developed at the time, so I don't think it had that big "Mature" tag like games do now. Of course, most parents still don't know how to use the ESRB ratings, so I guess that hasn't changed. :P

Oh, and I keep forgetting to mention, the hardcover edition of Secondhand Souls GLOWS IN THE DARK! I know, right? I discovered it by accident, it was glowing on my bedside table as I went to bed and nearly ignored it because I thought it was just the moonlight hitting it through the slants in my window blinds, but upon closer inspection, it was glowing. Oh man, does this mean I'm a death merchant!? :D

>122 Ape: Are parents seriously that dense? Or is the rating system really hard to understand? I've never seen one on a video game (I usually don't look at games), but at least with movies, they're pretty descriptive, like Rated R because of coarse language/profanity, violence, sexual situations, deviant behavior (my favorite--lol!), yadda yadda yadda. The more "bad" descriptors, the more likely I'll watch it. That's why I wish books were kind of the same way. Rated whatever due to profanity, freaky-deaky behavior, man raped by rhino, etc etc.

>123 Ape: It most certainly does make you a death merchant. :P Actually, that's freakin' awesome it glows in the dark, because the only things I'm really aware of that do that are makeup, "adult" items, and that creepy clown that lives in my closet and threatens to eat me unless I find it a "snack."

>123 Ape: I obviously don't spend enough time looking at my bookshelves in the dark because I'd not noticed it glowed! Mr. Penumbra's 24 Hour Bookstore does too but I only know that because my local bookstore broadcast the fact in their display.

Sara: I actually think the rating system for video games is WAY easier to find and follow than on DVDs. Sometimes on DVDs, you can't find the rating, and you have to hunt around for it. The ratings on games are posted on both the front and back, and are located in the same place every time. On the front it's just a letter rating, but on the back it has a full list of descriptions. Here is how they look like, this is the front and back cover of a couple game, if you pulled it out of the case and laid it flat.




It stands out, right? The front cover has the ESRB rating on the bottom left corner, and the back has the details. They also don't let game developers change the color, it's always a solid black and white blocks, in the same place, kind of like nutritional facts for food. I think the reason they put them on the front as well as the back is because so many big box retailers put their games behind glass cases, so the rating is always visible.

Yeah, I don't own anything that glows in the dark. Except a book! :D

Leah: You mean you don't gaze lovingly at your bookshelves 24/7, even in the middle of the night in a pitch-black room? Weird... :P

>126 Ape: I totally like their rating system. :) And come to think of it, I have seen it before on some movie trailers for video games. (Go figures; trailers for video games now.) Hey, I can actually say I learned something today! ;) Thanks, really. I didn't know any of that.

A book's a start. :) Now wait for Halloween. There'll be tons of glow in the dark things then.

Yeah, Leah, that is weird. ;)

>126 Ape: I used to be able to do that, and would when I couldn't sleep, but then I rearranged my bedroom and I now I can't see the bookshelves from my bed. (My library is a converted closet, so it's sunken into the wall.) I HAVE been thinking about rearranging again, so maybe I should take glowing book covers into account. ;)

Sara: Oh yes, games definitely have trailers now. They used to mostly be gameplay footage, but the games are getting so long and the stories so intricate that they can actually have movie-like trailers now.

I've never played any of the games and I'm not a fan of the military genre, but the trailer for Metal Gear Solid 5 is pretty cool and a great demonstration of what video game trailers are becoming. Who knew we'd go from shroom-addicted Italian plumbers to that? :P

Leah: Totally! You could shelve the glow-in-the-dark fiction with the nuclear radiation books. :D

38. Tutankhamun by Nick Drake



Pages: 373
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2009

Mystery/Historical Fiction
Owned

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A decade after the events of the first book Rahotep is living a peaceful life as a Medjay officer in Thebes when he gets a knock on the door. A knock that will pull him back into the seedy world of a private investigator, this time at the calling of Tutankhamun and his queen, who want him to find out who is leaving threatening messages inside their very palace. It seems serious, but safe enough from his perspective, but things are never so simple in a mystery novel, right?

I was really hoping this would be an improvement over the first in the series, which wasn't bad but didn't wow me, but unfortunately this book suffers many of the same problems as its predecessor. You see, Nick Drake actually does two things really well. He's great at writing lengthy philosophical passages with an ancient Egyptian perspective, and he's great at piquing your interest with an intriguing mystery. The problem is he presents you with an interesting mystery, then abandons it for lengthy philosophical passages that are difficult to focus on because all you can focus on is the mystery. Grrr. I don't even like mysteries, and would much rather prefer the philosophy, but dammit, once you get me hooked, you can't just leave me hanging like that, man!

Another issue is the language, which feels far too modern for the setting. For example, at one point a person is described as standing "ramrod straight." A ramrod is not a thing that existed at the time. I constantly problem with the book is having the illusion dispelled, which never allows the book to fully draw you in.

Tutankhamun isn't a bad book necessarily, but I feel the same way about it as I did about Nefertiti. Which is to say...meh.

I have the same problem with the lack of authentic language in "sword and sandal" fiction, which is why I generally don't read it. I hope your next read is more enjoyable.

Yeah, normally it wouldn't bother me so much, I can't expect an author to know the history of every word they type. This was frequent though, and obvious. Ramrod is clearly a word from a more industialized time period, and that is just one example.

>129 Ape: Woah, that was a long trailer, but the work on it was amazing! Was that seriously released in the 80s???

*mumbles "I liked my 'shroom-addicted Italian plumbers'."* ;)

>130 Ape: Bummer. The cover's pretty cool at least.

>129 Ape: Woah, that was a long trailer, but the work on it was amazing! Was that seriously released in the 80s???

*mumbles "I liked my 'shroom-addicted Italian plumbers'."* ;)

>130 Ape: Bummer. The cover's pretty cool at least.

Check that out. My doppleganger posted at the same time I did. Spooky. ;) Usually LT won't let me post twice.

Sara: Oh, no, that game was just released, amd presumably everything in the trailer was taken from the game.

I like Mario too, but we have come a long way in terms of storytelling. :)

Wow, you DID post the same thing twice! *bows*

>136 Ape: Seriously? I thought at the end it said coming in 198_ something or other. Maybe I was eating 'shrooms again. But I would believe it was more current than back then, because games didn't look all that hot back then, even the more popular ones.

Was there actually a point to the Mario Brothers' games? Oh, wait, there was a princess or something, right? My goof. And, yeah, I guess you could say games are developing better plots and characters.

I know! Cool, huh? :) Bow to my doppelganger, too, or she might get jealous and feel the need to post naked people on your thread--twice! :P

Hi Stephano! I am back on LT again (real life got busy). So sorry to hear about Shayenne, but glad she is almost mended. Phew! Poor doggy. Sounds to me like you were a pretty good nurse, even if you don't have the little white outfit. ; ) I haven't read the Christopher Moore, but I love him so I better track it down!

And Hi! to Sara and her doppelganger. ; )

Hi Stephen! Sorry Tutankhamun didn't work so well for you.

I have nothing to add to gaming conversation. I enjoy watching people who know what they're doing play video games, but put a controller in my hand and I ... very quickly affect your likelihood of losing. I pretty much stopped playing with N64, and that version of Mario, oh and MarioKart too (I wasn't very good with that either and usually begged my siblings to tell me how to beat a level in the former), so you can imagine what I'm like trying to even get an avatar to move in the correct direction with something more modern.

>130 Ape: I read Akenaten: Dweller in Truth a wee while ago and I really enjoyed it. It gives various accounts of the supreme leader that came before King Tut (??! I think). and it was a good bit of history of that period, and also of how one persons account (or even the accepted historical account) isn't necessarily what really happened.

>138 Berly: Hi, Kim! :) Hi, Kim! :) Yeah, I thought it was a little too weird. I really should delete the double post, so I'm not bogarting space on Stephen's thread, but I've never seen that happen before.

Sara: Yeah, the story to all/most Mario games is Princess Peach gets kidnapped by Bowser and Mario/Luigi have to go rescue her. Now we gray-haired dudes who rub human ashes on their faces and nearly-naked ninja chicks. See? Women are much more capable of taking care of themselves in modern games. So long as they don't wear clothes while they do it. :P

Hi Kim! Yeah, Shyanne is basically 100 percent better, but I still have to keep her from jumping for a couple more weeks. :)

Mary: To be fair, Mario Kart games are very "rubber banded" in single player, so it is almost a coin toss whether you win or lose. So it isn't gour fault at all. I understand what gou mean about not being able to control your character though. It feels totally natural to me, but I know it is very alien to people who aren't used to it. I watched some of those Fine Bros React videos where they had the elders play video games, and since they weren't used to it they had a heck of a time just walking forward.

Megan: Yeah, Akenaten came before Tut. I know because he was a main character in the first book in the series, Nefertiti. I may have to check my library for that one.

>142 Ape: Oh, yeah, dames have really made it far in the world of video games. *eye roll* Why can't they be the ones kidnapping Italian guys and rubbing human ash on their faces? I'm sure it'd make a lovely powder. :P

Actually, there are plenty of games now that feature female main characters, and a lot of games now let you create your own character so you can be whatever race/gender you want. :)

>142 Ape: Oh, I did fine against the computer with Mario Kart. I didn't do so well if any other human was playing and it was tailored more to them.

Oh, then forget everything I said, you definitely weren't just winning by random chance or anything. >_>

Playing against human players can be difficult. The problem is a lot of people will obsess over 1 individual game, so every game you play you'll mostly come across players who can totally kick your butt no problem if you are just a casual player who plays a wider variety of games. You really have to focus on a game for a long time to become competitive online.

39. Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell



Pages: 322
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2009

Fiction: Crime/Humor
Owned

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Peter Brown is just a doctor, or at least that's what he wants everyone to think. Not a decade ago he was actually a mafia hitman, but after things went south he turned his life around (with the help of Witness Protection) and now tries to save people instead of killing them. It's going great, until a man from his old life turns up in the hospital as a patient, and everything he ran away from begins rearing its ugly head all over again.

I should also mention this is a comedy, of the "dark humor" variety.

I hated this book at first, at least in the first few pages. I didn't like the main character and the authors sense of humor strayed towards the vulgar. I'm no prude, but it was very juvenile. "Fuck this and fuck that and fuckity fuck fuck. It reminded me of an adolescent who recently discovered the thrill of cursing, and thinks he's hilarious if he just adds an F-bomb every other word. It's not at all consistent with the rest of the book though (or maybe I just got used to it) because the humor becomes wittier after the first chapter, but it was a bad start.

Anyway, the humor did grow on me, as did the characters. The book jumps back and forth between Peter's life in the hospital and in the mafia, and though it sounds jarring his deadpan commentary is consistent in both situations, which I liked a lot. Even though the "characters" are completely opposite in circumstance, they still feel like the same guy, which is a pretty huge success in my opinion.

I also liked all the medical knowledge in the book. Though the author states his first priority was to be entertaining, his medical background allowed him to infuse a bit of that into the story, which I appreciated.

>144 Ape: Sweet! :) I even found some bdsm video games. Bwahahaha! You'll make a gamer out of me yet.

>147 Ape: I'm glad you pushed passed the juvenile f-bombs, you prune you. ;) (Did you mean prude in your review? Either way, I still thumbed you.) And I love the cover, especially with the sticks up their bums. Hmm, maybe I should've added some f-bombs to my message to go along with the juvenility of what I just said. ;)

>147 Ape: I've got that one waiting for me on my shelves - my best friend gave it to me and said I'd love it, and htat was, oh, 5 years ago? Dang, I'm not a great friend, apparently.

Sara: There is a new trend in games, making them brutally and unfairly difficult, I think that qualifies as BDSM, right?

Thanks for pointing that out! Yeah, it was supposed to be prude. I'm lazy and don't actually proof-read my reviews, and things like that don't get caught by spellcheck, so I'm sure I post similar typos all the time. D'oh.

Amber: Yeah, I think you mentioned that when I posted that I purchased it, which wasn't all that long ago. What's taking you so long, huh? Oh, who am I kidding, I've posted that I was going to read a book after my current one here on LT and still haven't read them years later. I've had Justinian's Flea on my bedside TBR pile (which usually consists of 5-6 books) for a couple years now.... Why haven't I read that yet? It sounds amazing, and I even have the one with the cool cover, which looks even cooler in person because it's all texture-y. I'm going to read it soon though, I swear...

>150 Ape: It only qualifies as BDSM if you keep trying to play the game. ;) Yeah, I think the people who create some of those game just like to mindfudge the players. Yuum, fudge.

:D No worries on the spelling front. Believe me, technology has made me super lazy with spelling. I just saw prune and thought, "Yumm." Yeah, not the exact response from most people, but I love the things.

Prunes are good dipped in chocolate. Just saying. And I always read my books right away when I say I say I will. Well.... maybe not. But I do like the prunes in chocolate! Nice review. : )

Hmm, prunes in chocolate. I'll have to remember that. :) Thanks!

Sara: Well, if you don't keep playing the game you are a total loser face and you bring shame upon your family for being so bad and horrible at life and/or video games, so you can't stop, you see. People will make fun of you! I've actually only played one of the "brutally difficult" games out there, and I used a glitch in the game to cheat.

Kim: Hmmmmm, prunes in chocolate? Not sure, but I guess everything is better with chocolate. Okay, not sure I believe that, but most people do. (I'm not buying the whole "everything is better with bacon" trend either....)

Today I went out with my sister and her boyfriend. Naturally I spent money I told myself I wasn't, had pizza for dinner at our usual place, and I didn't read a page! Well, I read 10 or 15 pages, but still.

We did stop into a local used bookstore. Pretty awesome, but I'm cheap and only bought 1 book. I also bought 3 others at Dollar Tree. I also bought some softcore porn (well, it was a cd, but there are explicit vaginas in the inset, so yeah.) Anyway, the books!

Local bookstore (The Paperback Exchange):
Mistress of the Art of Death by Ariana Franklin

Dollar Tree:
The Orphanmaster by Jan Zimmerman
The Barbed Crown by William Dietrich
Under Fire by Fred Burton

And for those interested, the cds were Hammer of the Witches by Cradle of Filth (with bonus softcore porn) and Only the Ruthless Remain by Skinless.

In terms of difficult games for the sake of difficulty (yet I still find fun.... or maybe obsessively determined is a better term) I go for Super Hexagon. I've never lasted more than 2 minutes, but I've definitely logged around 4 hours playing, haha.

>154 Ape: But I'm already a total lose face who brings shame on my family, so wouldn't trying to play video games just make things worse? Because then I would try and fail, and then I'll have to wear a bag over my head for life. I think my mom would even sew me one with cats on it. On the outside, of course, just so I couldn't see the pretty kitties.

>155 Ape: Hmm, I'm actually curious what CoF's version of "Onward Christian Soldiers" will sound like, if it's an actual biblical cover. Ooh, and Skinless reminds me I have this lovely movie on my wishlist. *wonders if I should wait until next pay period or go in debt over a movie that'll probably really, really suck* Happy ear-blasting and vagina ogling! :)

Btw, we just had Mistress of the Art of Death donated here this week. I almost bought it--I love the title and cover--but it wasn't as dark as I was hoping. Oh well. I hope you enjoy it at least. You'll probably understand all those big words better than I would. ;)

>156 katelisim: Duly noted and will avoid. ;)

Katie: I haven't played Super Hexagon but I've seen similar things. The 'brutally difficult' game I was referring to was Demon's Souls, and I cheated by using an item duplication glitch to give myself infinite health potions. :P

On the flip side, a lot of people complain about how difficult the Trials games are, but I'm a HUGE fan of Trials Fusion and regularly torture myself on the Extreme tracks. I can finish most of them with ease now though.

Sara: Your only a total loser face if you are a guy and have male friends who will tell you what a total loser face you are if you don't succeed. So, I think you're safe!

Cradle of Filth have been known to cover religious hymns and pop/love songs for the sake of irony, but in this case I don't think it's a cover. I'm sure it's related in some way, though. I couldn't focus on that Skinless movie for very long, because there was a link to this movie on that page and now I'm just all distracted.

Oh, don't worry, if there are vaginas in my vicinity, you can be sure they will be ogled. :P

40. Kingdom Under Glass by Jay Kirk



Pages: 376
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2010 (Google is telling me 1975 for some absurd reason, Amazon says 2009. My copy says "first edition" and 2010. So...bah!)

Nonfiction: Biography/History/Taxidermy
Owned

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At the turn of the 20th century, Carl Akeley revolutionized the art of taxidermy. Prior to his work, preserving an animal involved stuffing the skin with paper and sawdust, resulting in a comically ill-defined monstrosity that only vaguely resembled the original animal. Akeley was unsatisfied, and spent many years perfecting his craft, trying different methods (such as using wire mesh and clay sculptures under the hide) to truly bring the animals to life.

I suppose whenever discussing the book the format must be addressed. The book is infamous for treading the line between fiction and nonfiction. Jay Kirk meticulously researched Carl Akeley's life, that is indisputable. However, when he wrote his book, even though it is labeled as nonfiction, he wrote it in narrative form, so that it reads like a fictional story. The criticism comes with the "facts" that the author invented. In order to stitch together full scenes, he had to fudge the details a bit. He admits this in his notes, where he points out where he had to create a line or two of conversation to make it complete. This is, naturally, unacceptable to purists.

I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand, yes, some of the minor details are potentially inaccurate. On the other hand, is that any less true for traditional nonfiction? If only I knew how many times I've read science nonfiction in which the facts are mixed with theory or the authors own hypotheses, or history books in which the author says something "probably" happened or that "most people believe" one thing or another.

Don't get me wrong, I don't really like the narrative nonfiction format and I would have preferred just the facts, please. I do think the format hurts the book, but I don't think it breaks it entirely. At worse, you can consider this one of the most accurate and well-researched pieces of historical fiction you will probably ever read. With that kind of outlook, Kingdom Under Glass is brilliant. As a work of nonfiction, however, I'm considering it nothing better than average.

>158 Ape: Hmm, good point. Maybe I'm a douche face then. That would make more sense....if I had any female friends, that is.

Oh, bummer. I kind of like it when bands do covers of songs that are just not their thing.

LOL! I've almost put Collar on my wishlist, but after reading some of the reviews on Amazon and IMDb, I've skipped it; though I have to admit, the cover is, um, distracting. But I am kind of curious what the soundtrack would be like if it goes along with the movie....

Just as long as the vaginas consented, then I guess it's ok. :P And as long as it's not Shyanne's, though that's kind of inevitable, because pets have no problem flashing everyone. But, yeah...never mind. o.o That was weird babbling.

>159 Ape: Stephen, you're on the cover! ;) Awesome! Taxidermy...um, something tells me I might want to skip that one. Soo...how does it feel straddling the fence on that one? :P

You're only a douche face if you cheat at hard games, you see, so you're fine! For now.

Do I have to ask the person for consent, or just their vagina?

Hello everyone! I admit with Shyanne being injured things kind of snuck up on me this year, but it's amlost October and that means it's almost time fo my anual October horror theme read! If you are knew to my thread or just forgetful like I am, every October I read at least 4 horror novels, 1 for each traditional horror creature. Those being zombies, vampires, werewolves, and ghosts/hauntings. When I say horror, I mean horror. I try to avoid paranormal romance or dark fantasy if I can, even if it means reading a campy leisure horror book.

If I have extra time, and I usually do, I try to find an alien horror book. Again, it has to be scary body-snatcher-like aliens, none of those nice and peaceful sci-fi aliens. I may also just read general horror or halloween-themed books towards the end of the month if I have even more time after that. We'll see what happens!

If you are curious, here is what I have read since I started this challenge.

2010
Vampires: They Hunger
Werewolves: The Wereling
Zombies: World War Z
Ghosts: The Haunting of Hill House
Extras: Horrorween and The Conqueror Worms

2011
Vampires: Midnight Mass
Werewolves: Shapeshifter
Zombies: Dead of Night
Ghosts: The Man in the Picture
Extras: The Taking

2012
Vampires: Dracula the Un-Dead
Werewolves: Saint Peter's Wolf
Zombies: Dead Sea
Ghosts: Black Creek Crossing
Extras: Hallows Eve

2013
Vampires: 'Salem's Lot
Werewolves: Those Across the River
Zombies: Blood Crazy
Ghosts: The White Devil
Extras: Infected, Halloweenland

2014
Vampires: Bite
Werewolves: Wolf Moon
Zombies: The Rising
Ghosts: The Harrowing
Extras: The Deluge

So what's on deck for this year?

I'm still pulling for The Host for the alien one, because I think reading Stephenie Meyer would be more truly horrifying for you than anything from the "horror" genre. ;-)

Very nice October collection!! I usually try and fit in one or two, but haven't decided yet which ones. I have Scarlet from the Lunar Chronicles handy, but Cinder is cyborg, so I am not sure if that really counts. And I have Frost Burned with vampires, shape shifters and werewolves. Not very scary, but with all those horror characters represented it definitely counts!

>161 Ape: Phew! As long as nobody knows I'm a douche face for now. :P

Just the vagina, I think.

>162 Ape: Good luck choosing! :) I saw you had Dracula in your collection (or at least the tag said "owned"; maybe you don't have it anymore?), so maybe that might be a good choice for vampires? Everything else you had tagged with werewolves, zombies, ghosts, etc had already been read and rated, so maybe a trip to the library is in store? Usually the earlier you get on those Halloween books, the less you have to wait for your hold to show up...and that usually happens after Halloween. ;)

Micky: It's a surprise! Actually, I've already started my vampire book, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but everything else is a surprise! I already own the ghost book and last night I put in requests for werewolf and zombie books, so I think I'm set! :) I'm disappointed all the copies of Dark Harvest were out. I'm going to read that during the month of October one of these years!

Misti: You are evil and nefarious, you know that? :P I actually don't have an alien novel picked out, if I do get to that point, but honestly, there is only so much my poor psyche can take. :P

Don't worry though, there is the occasional gratuitous sex scene in leisure horror, so I'll be sure to let you know if I find myself curled up in the fetal position whimpering like a child. It's bound to happen!

Kim: Ha, yeah, sure! Read what you want, I say. My sister doesn't do the monster thing, but she does read horror/dark fantasy throughout October now. :)

Sara: I've actually read Dracula, just not the edition I own. I checked it out from the library and read it, and at a later date found a crappy paperback copy in a library sale. It's not a good edition, a cheap schoolastic one with a lame cover, but I threw it in my bag because I didn't own a copy. The same is true for Frankenstein and The Iliad as well. And the Lord of the Rings.

>167 Ape: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: good choice! :) I've seen the movie (liked it), so I bought the book, but of course I haven't started it yet. I'm eager to see what you thought of it.

there is the occasional gratuitous sex scene in leisure horror -- Ah, yes. One of the reasons why Leisure books are a guilty pleasure of mine. :) Too bad Leisure fizzled out. :(

Oh, good to know. And obviously since you're reading AL:VH, you're all set for vampires.

And seriously?? You're not telling us what you're reading for the other categories?? Do I have to get my enema bag and paddle out? :P

Nope, not telling! I will say that I was so desperate for a werewolf book that I decided to read a movie novelization. I have no had good luck with werewolf books, I think I'm 1 for 5 in terms of satisfactory werewolf horror, and that was Those Across the River. The rest were poor choices for varying reasons. (The Wereling was about a murderer who wore a wolf mask, Wolf Moon was dark fantasy, etc.)

I'm about 150 pages into AB:VH and so far it isn't really scary at all, which is why I didn't read it in the past. That's okay though, it's the first book of the month and since I've started it a few days earlier, I'll just consider it a warm up for things to come. :)

>169 Ape: Bummer about the werewolf books. :( Hopefully, the movie novelization is a good one, because I can say there are some awesome werewolf movies out there! (Is it one of the Underworld books? Is it a fairly new movie? 2000's? 1990's? Before you were born?) The Wereling sounds kind of interesting when you put it like that--it kind of reminds me of an episode on Hannibal where a killer created his own "costume" to kill people with--but I just rechecked your review and can understand how that would be disappointing. The cover's kind of cool, though misleading.

The movie to AB:VH isn't all that scary either (unless you're a kid or not used to horror movies), so I'm not surprised the book isn't scary. I guess that's a good way of looking at it: using it as a warm up to your Halloween reads. One book I have read/bought/loved by Seth Grahame-Smith is How to Survive a Horror Movie, but I don't think that really fits into any of your categories. Oh well. We'll try and keep pummeling you with suggestions. ;)

Nope, not Underworld. :P

Sadly, the Halloween reading bubble has burst. I got in my car today with the intention of visiting the library and my brake pedal went straight to the floor. *Sigh* I can't cancel my requests online either because they have already arrived at the library, so that's fantastic.

Also, looks like I'll be missing the book sale next week. My sister is also upset about that, since I was her ride. Major bumsauce, all around. :(

>171 Ape: Any hints?

Uh oh! :o Can you just use your emergency brake and shift to different gears to avoid slamming into anything?

I'll pass on the bumsauce, but maybe something'll happen by next week. *thinks* Is it safe to hitch hike in your neck of Ohio?

It's funny that you say that, because that's exactly what I did. I mean, with the handbrake, not the hitch hiking. The BLS branch I go to is in a small village, and there are no major hills on the way there from my house, so I decided to risk it. Terrible, terrible idea. I made it fine, but I ran the first stop sign by my house because I was expecting the brakes to work better than they did. Fortunately I live out in the middle of nowhere, but my handbrake does NOT work well. I was able to come to a complete stop so long as I slowed down a bit ahead of time, but it's not a safe way to drive, as I have no way to stop suddenly. I don't think I'll be risking the library sale, since my town is bigger and busier and I'd have to go through stoplights, and the road there has some huge steep hills with sharp corners at the bottom.

On the bright side, I have my werewolf and zombie books, as well as a Playstation 4 game to play. Hurray. :)

And if I use all my renewals I won't have to make that scary trip for another 2 or 3 months. :P

September Summary

Books: 4
Pages: 1,408

Fiction: 3
Nonfiction: 1

Owned: 4
Library checkout: 0

Look, a video game summary! I haven't finished a game in months, but I seem to have overcome my Mincraft addiction so I'm back to playing games that actually end. Also, Dragon Age took me 82 hours of in-game time to finish, and I didn't even finish everything. It's quite a big game.

Games played: 2

Playstation Vita: 1
Playstatinon 3: 0
Playstation 4: 1

>173 Ape: Oh, shit-scary! :o Bad idea, Sara. You can blame me for that one. I'm glad you were ok and didn't hit anything or get hit yourself. The only reason I brought that up is because I either remember seeing it on TV once (bad source of info, I know) or my mom asked me what I'd do if my brakes gave out. That was my first answer--well, after my initial reaction to bail out, screaming.

Hurray for werewolves, zombies, and Playstation 4 games. *resists the urge to say, "Oh my!"*

Two to three months. Yep, enough time to find an anchor or slab of cement to throw out the door when you need some extra stopping power. That should work! Like so. ;)

>174 Ape: & >175 Ape: Good job on the stats! :)

No worries! I hadn't seen your message yet, after I made my post I was googling around looking for solutions and troubleshooting the brake issue and I saw someone mention they were using the handbrake to drive, so I had already planned on doing it. (That's why I said it was "funny you said that" because that's what I ended up doing, even though I hadn't seen your message.) Anyway, the handbrake SHOULD work like regular brakes, so it was a good idea anyway, my brakes are just dead, apparently.

Yesterday I made another unfortunate discovery. I thought it might be a simple issue, like low brake fluid, so I decided to pop the hood and check to see, and my hood release lever thing isn't working, so I can't get it open. Grrrr!

>173 Ape: Please don't ever do that again! Scary!

Haha, good idea! I wasn't in a whole lot of danger, physically. I was just at a very high risk of getting into a fender bender. If I decide to brave the library sale in a week, however...

Nah, I won't do that. Probably.

>177 Ape: Yes, insanity! Our thinking processes have finally merged. ;) Beware, world....

Still, RIP Stephen's brakes. That does suck. :( And that doubly sucks your hood release lever thing broke, too. I think that was the first thing I broke on my Ford. :D It took hella long, but I eventually found a way to open it properly. You'll figure it out, too, I'm sure. Just have lots of patience and be very zen about it. :) And, no, I didn't jack hammer it open. I had to squeeze my fingers between the hood and, well...hmm, Stephen terms. Think of it like finding a woman's g-spot with your eye's closed! There, that should help, right? ;)

>178 foggidawn: What she said!

>179 Ape: Ha! At least you're honest about it. I recommend securing some bubblewrap, etc around your car, just in case of a fender bender. A helmet, first aid kit, and a fire gusher would be good, too. And a camera...just so you can put the whole thing on YouTube. ;)

Stephen!!! What a pain with your car problems. :(:(:( If it makes you feel better, I skipped work a couple weeks ago to take my car in to the mechanic because the check-engine light had been on for a few days. They found that my gas cap was loose, which had made my check engine light go on.

Worse, get this story: My phone wouldn't ring for the past 8 months. I didn't want to take it into the Apple shop...because...well...that would require going out in public and talking to strangers. Why do that more than I need to? So I ignored the issue. Who needs a phone that rings? Anyway, I finally decided that I might oughta fix it. And I thought: "hey, maybe it's a Verizon thing and not an Apple thing." Talking on the phone seemed not QUITE as bad as going to the Apple store. So I tried it out. Know what was wrong with my phone? For the past 8 months? It was on "do not disturb?" *blushes*

Sara: Oh, just great, so t's just like a woman's vagina? Now I'll never get in there! :P

Helmet, first aid kit, fire gusher...wait, are we talking about cars or vaginas?

Rachel: Well, you know me, I do delight in the misery of others. :P Don't you hate headsmackers like that? I am "fortunate" in that I'm so socially anxious that I tend to troubleshoot my tech issues for days before I even think of asking for someone's help, so I usually figure things out eventually. Although yesterday I woke up gearing up for college football for a good hour or 2 before realizing it was Friday. (Which I knew, because it was the day of Shyanne's appointment and I was preparing for that as well. How does that happen?)

Speaking of Shyanne's appointment, everything went great yesterday! Shyanne is now rod-free, although the surgery required a bigger incision than I was expecting, so we have 2 more weeks of bed rest ahead of us. A major bummer that I wasn't expecting, but at least her bone is 100 percent healed, now we're just waiting for the new incision to heal over.

I should re-assure everyone that we were in my mom's truck, not my car. :P

Glad Shyanne's surgery went well!

Thanks, Rachel. Me too. :)

41. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith



Pages: 337
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2010

Fiction: Alternate History, Horror, Vampires
Owned

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If it isn't obvious from the title, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is an alternate history in Honest Abe is an vicious killer of the bloodsucking monsters that haunted him as a young child. Though it would have been easy to simply paint him as a vampire hunter in his free time, the book does offer a bit more depth than that, including slavery and the American Civil War into the fold with vampiric connotations.

I have mixed feelings on this one. The plot is interesting at first, but I found once it reached Lincoln's time as president I was bored, primarily because I'm already familiar with the history and the vampires took a back seat. I was also irritated with the writing. The story is told from two perspectives: diary entries written by Abraham himself and 3rd-person passages written by a modern narrator. The problem is the book literally flips between the two between paragraphs, sometimes between sentences, and though I wouldn't say it was disorienting the constant shift in perspective irked me to no end. The book would read as such:

Abraham saw the vampire entering the window. I was startled. He grabbed for his axe. I forgot I didn't have it on me.

Okay, that's an extreme exaggeration, but that is how it felt as I was reading it. There were even times when it would switch between the modern narrator and Abe's diary entries, even though both were telling the story in 3rd person at the time, so it literally added nothing to the narrative. Still annoyed me anyway, perhaps all the more so for how completely pointless it was.

It probably sounds like I hate the book by now. I really didn't, and in fact enjoyed many aspects of it, such as the characterization and the "world-building." I just couldn't fully enjoy it because I spent most of the time fuming over the shifting perspective.

>186 Ape: He is a pretty good author. I have yet to read the sequal though.

>182 Ape: Ha! You just have to grease her up, talk nice, and then maybe you'll get the hood open.... any luck yet?

*snort* Still talking cars. When I was in high school, all the fire extinguisher signs were vandalized, so they read "fire gusher"; and I've always called them that since. Brain fart on my part. :)

>183 Ape: Yay for Shyanne being rod-free--and, more importantly, riding in the truck. ;) At least all that's taken care of. Maybe you could read some of your Halloween reads to her. I'm sure she'd like The Wolfman especially. ;)

>186 Ape: Bleh. That does sound annoying. I can't remember if there's any diary narration in the movie. Maybe there is. *shrugs* But I'll keep that in mind if/when I read AB:VH. Or maybe I should push it out of my head so I don't hate it.

>187 xymon81: There's a sequel??

>188 saraslibrary: Its called The Last American Vampire. Check it out.

>189 xymon81: I did check it out--thanks :)--and I hate to admit it, but I was a little perplexed, going, "Who the heck is Henry Sturges? Is that Abe Lincoln's alias?" *facepalm* Yeah, that took me a bit to figure out. Let's just say History was never my best subject. ;)

Xymon: I would consider the sequel, but I think I'd like to look at it first to make sure the weird shifting perspective thing isn't present.

Sara: Nope, still no luck with the vaginas. Oh, you mean the car? I haven't tried, to be honest. I should do that...soon.

Ha, yeah, are you smacking your head over The Wolfman? I've actually seen it, but only vaguely remember it. I'm actually liking the book so far though. :)

>191 Ape: No rush. Vaginas and cars will be around forever. Or they could be combined in some freaky accident like this. My guess is it's a hippie convention or part of a gay pride parade. Meh, same thing. And is that a tampon string? Hmm. Makes me have a sudden urge to go water skiing holding that string, except on pavement and probably with roller blades.

I smack my head over everything. :P Actually, not really. Just imaginary head smacking. I've kind of forgotten the movie, too, but I do remember liking it. I'm glad the book's good so far. :)

That's a vagina!? I would have thought it was just a funny-looking canoe. :P

>193 Ape: Oh, I'm sure it could be used as that. :D I saw another pic with a lady sticking her head out of the clit hole. Quite weird. It'd make a funny-ass Halloween costume!

I really didn't like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies so I'm not interested in reading any of his other books. I felt that he didn't understand the humor that was already present in P&P, which made me feel that the book didn't live up to its potential. So perhaps I'm biased.

Sara: Great, now every time I see a vagina I'm going to have an urge to sing "Row row row your boat..." :P

Rachel: That one does have a pretty low average rating, so it doesn't look like you're the only one that feels that way.

42. The Wolfman by Jonathan Maberry



Pages: 342
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 2010

Fiction: Horror, Werewolves
Library checkout

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The Wolfman is a novelization of a film that was released on 2010. This is actually the first movie novelization I've ever read, and I admit I was expecting the worst, but I ended up really liking it in the end. It's a fairly traditional werewolf tale, in which a small town in England (Blackmoor) is being terrorized by horrific, brutal crimes. Lawrence Talbot is contacted when his brother becomes a victim, he must return to his ancestral home, where he swears to find out who murdered his brother. Naturally, it's not at all what he expects.

I'm not a movie guy, and though I'm pretty sure I've seen the movie I don't remember much about it, so I can't really compare the book to the film. I can say that, as a standalone novel, it's enjoyable if you are willing to turn your brain off. I say that because there were a couple of times the author had me scratching my head over a weird or unrealistic passage. For example, at the very beginning of the book, on page 2 or 3, a man is walking through a forest with a lantern. He hears a noise, and pulls out a knife, but he is described as holding the knife behind his back so it doesn't catch the light of his lantern and expose him. It's almost a smart move, except for the fact that he's already holding a lantern that is a beacon to his position. Obviously the reflection isn't going to be as bright as the lantern itself.

Little things like that were annoying, but I liked the overall story and I appreciated the traditional take on werewolves. It's funny how hard it is to find that in werewolf novels published in the last 20-30 years. Vampires and werewolves are more popular than ever, but there is always a twist, right? "A new and unique werewolf story." Of course, they are all new and unique in the same ways, so there really isn't anything new or unique about them. Nevertheless, it's becoming increasingly difficult to find books like this, and while I normally embrace and support the evolution of classic myths, it's nice to find something that isn't urban fantasy or paranormal romance.

>196 Ape: Well, yeah, makes total sense, especially if she's a squirter. Or really into giving golden showers. o.o



I had to post the cute gif to distract everyone from the weird topic.

>197 Ape: I'm glad The Wolfman novelization was pretty decent. I doubt I'll ever read that one though. I figure, "I've watched the movie; why read the novelization?" *shrugs* Good choice for werewolves btw! :)

Delurking to say Hi!

Stopping by to see how things are in Apeland. Sorry to read about the car problems. Probably best to not be driving until you get the break situation under control, which isn't being helped if the hood release lever doesn't want to let you open the hood!

>183 Ape: - That is fantastic news regarding Shyanne! WHOOT! Smart decision to take your Mom's truck to the appointment.

Sara: I had mostly forgotten the movie, but a lot of scenes were coming back to me as I read it. I only remembered the Gypsy scene, and the battle scene in the end.

Hi Kim! :)

Lori: Yeah, car problems are a constant in my life, I'm afraid. :(

Sooooo, uhhhhh, remember that whole "Hey Stephen, don't drive your car!" thing? Yeah well, the library sale was today, and I had no other way to get there, so I drove. Ironically, someone was in a car accident up the road from me last night and I was kept awake by ambulances and firetrucks from 2am on. If I was the superstitious sort, I would see that as ominous foreshadowing. Fortunately I'm not, and I came home with 33-35ish books today! :P

Notable purchases: An old battered paperback copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I only actually own the last 3 books, and I've been wanting to re-read them, so I bought it just for that purpose. I also bought a hardcover copy of The Cellist of Sarajevo, which I've already read but loved it (gave it 5 stars) and wanted to own a copy for potential future re-reads. I also bought a book that I literally will never read. Literally literally. It's a mystery, and the condition of the book is horrendous, but I had to own it because the cover was so odd and creepy and the deplorable condition of it made it all the more appealing. Is that weird? I'll post a picture later.

Here is my haul.

The Children and the Wolves by Adam Rapp
The Cellist of Sarajevo by Steven Galloway
If I Grow Up by Todd Strasser
Homeland Insecurity by Richard Abanes
Eye of the Law by Cora Harrison
Dark Angel by David Klass
Ship of the Damned by James F. David
Ithaka by Adele Geras
The Lost Constitution by William Martin
The Memoirs of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Theodore Roszak
Music of the Mill by Luis J. Rodreiguez
Climb the Wind by Pamela Sargent
Hunting Fear by Kay Hooper
Daemonomania by John Crowley
Stonehenge by Bernard Cornwell
The Archer's Tale by Bernard Cornwell
The Diviners by Rick Moody
Savage Kingdom by Benjamin Woolley
Bearing Secrets by Richard Barre
Sacrifice by John Everson
Mary Queen of Scotland and the Isles by Margaret George
Touchstone Laurie R. King
The Outstretched Shadow by Mercedes Lackey
The Fatal Crown by Ellen Jones
The Gypsy Morph by Terry Brooks
Dreamthorp by Chet Williams
King of the Middle March by Kevin Crossley-Holland
Russka by Edward Rutherford
More than Courage by Harold Coyle
Run by Ann Patchett
Bad Monkeys by Matt Ruff
Anarchy and Old Dogs by Colin Cotterill
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Arctic Gold by Stephen Coonts
Unhappy Hooligan by Stuart Palmer

Now, to get them all entered into my library, with the exact edition...and a good cover image...and all the correct information....

And for those who want to visualize that...



It's a bad picture, but my camera was being weird and shutting off whenever I tried to use the flash.

Also, the book I bought simply because I think it's possessed by Satan....errr, I mean, because I thought it was awesome.



You also have to see the author picture on the back.

>203 Ape: That book cover is almost as scary as the thought of you driving your car. Really, Stephen...

My brakes are working better than I thought, once I realized they work once the pedal hits the floor. I'll work on getting the hood up this in a couple days and then I'll figure things out. Promise!

Maybe.

Visual is always better. :)

>201 Ape: Those are more scenes than I remember. ;) I just remember I loved the cast, and I still have an overall feeling of really liking the movie. Maybe I should rewatch it again, especially with Halloween lurking around the corner.

>202 Ape: LOL! Well, congrats on staying alive to get books. That's all that counts, right? ;)

Ooh, I love the haul! Can I sneak over and borrow a few? ;) I think I own a couple of those: Sacrifice by John Everson and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling (both unread). Just as a heads-up, Hunting Fear by Kay Hooper is a romantic suspense book (also, The Fatal Crown by Ellen Jones has a romance tag). I've been wanting to try a couple of her books, because I can tolerate romantic suspense, but I don't know how well that'll go over with you.... Anyway, The Children and the Wolves by Adam Rapp looks awesome! I'd buy that one, too. Probably Dark Angel by David Klass, The Memoirs of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Theodore Roszak, and Dreamthorp by Chet Williamson as well.

P.S. I just saw Homeland Insecurity by Richard Abanes is tagged "Christian fiction." Just a fyi. :) That should be an interesting read.

Best of luck with entering everything in your catalog. That should keep you busy for awhile. :)

>203 Ape: Yay for book porn! Thanks! :)

>204 foggidawn: Maybe he should do both--read that book while driving. ;)

>205 Ape: Good luck getting your car sorted out, if/when you get to it. I'm the same with getting my Ford cleaned out, etc. No rush.

Quite a good haul. Jealous.

Rachel: Perhaps, it was certainly way easier uploading the picture than connecting all those touchstones, but I'm sure some people would like a list with clickable titles. :)

Sara: Oh yes, staying alive is imperative for buying books.

I did notice the tags for those books, I was clicking my own touchstones and "discovering" the books as I was posting them. The dangers of library sales is how I pay, which is by the bag. This means I'm less critical about the books on a book-by-book basis. I look at them and if I think they seem even remotely kind of sort of interesting I stuff them in the bag without thought. But who cares? Look at all of them! :D

The Children and the Wolves does look interesting, and I literally grabbed that up as I was walking to the donation table. It's super thin, maybe around 100 pages, so even though my bag was overflowing I could stuff it down the side. So I did.

You like the book porn? I'm always happy to provide book porn when the ladies ask for it. Um, book porn, I specified book porn, right? :P

Xymon: Haha, thanks! Now, where to put them...

Wow! Amazing book haul!

Fantastic book haul and I am trying to forget that you drove your car to the book sale and home again. ;-)

Thanks Amber and Lori!

My sister originally planned on going with me, but she bailed out the day before, probably because she realized we'd have to take my car. Clearly she has more sense to me. Still, BOOKS, so I win.

Nice book haul!! And you lived to tell about it. Double bonus. : ) Yes, very creepy book in >203 Ape:...ew!!! And very big thank you for adjusting the picture on my thread. And I really like the word "unupside-downified." Hugs. : )

>209 Ape: Yeah, I don't know why I brought it up. Obviously, you would notice the tags when you added them. :)

Are they picky about the size of bags you can bring in? If it was me, I'd bring my hiking backpack, put a couple extra bags on each arm, and then figure out how to balance some on my head. ;) We had a sale awhile ago, and I believe they had a bag sale, but I think it was junk they presorted themselves and put in bags. It's kind of hard to work and sneak in to the book sale on breaks.

Yes, more book porn!! And since it's still Sexy Sunday.... *ahem* Actually, you're probably asleep, so no worries. I'll go google me some book porn.

Kim: Thanks! and You're welcome! :) If you have any other pics that need flipped, let me know. :) *Hugs back*

Sara: My library actually has a "pay by donation," which literally means take whatever you want and pay whatever you want. They used to post a suggested price of 10 cents for paperbacks and 25 cents for hardcovers on their website, but I don't think they do that now. Anyway, to simplify things I tend to just pay by the bag, I fill one up and donate on my way out the door, then grab the next bag and do it again.

Yep, I missed Sexy Sunday...by a couple days...haha. Maybe next. Yeah. Sure. *ahem*

>215 Ape: *makes note to visit Stephen's library's next book sale* I wish they did that here.

Couple days? Ha! :P Yeah, maybe next Sunday. Suuure. ;) Nympho Librarian. Oh, gee! How did that get on your thread?? My innocent, virginal eyes!

You can totally come to the library sale! So long as you don't take any of the books I want. :P

You mean I can get laid if I just ask a librarian!? :P

43. This Dark Earth by John Hornor Jacobs



Pages: 339
Rating: 5/5
Publication date: 2012

Fiction: Zombie Apocaypse
Library checkout

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This Dark Earth is a zombie novel. Yes, let's get that out there right away. And you know what's coming next too, right? "But it's not like other zombie novels!" Well, that's not true entirely, from a zombie standpoint it's pretty much like every other zombie novel, but what separates This Dark Earth from the horde is the writing, and the characterization. Both are beautiful! Sadly, I am not going to do this book justice in this review, so forgive me.

I've sat her typing, deleting, and retyping this paragraph for several minutes now, attempting to summarize the characters. I can't, at least not accurately. Lucy is a doctor who witnesses the outbreak as it happens at a hospital. She's fiercely analytical, but once the direness of the situation sets in her primary focus is getting to her family. Knock-Out is a trucker, a tough-guy exterior with a soft heart, who has a more emotional outlook on the events in the book. Gus is Lucy's son, who is just a 10-year-old boy at the start of the novel, but has a mind for survival and an uncanny way of coming up with ingenious solutions to apocalyptic problems.

The book naturally details the trials of surviving a zombie apocalypse, but it's so much more. It subtly exemplifies the devolution of humankind, even as they slowly reclaim technology piece by piece their way of life constantly spins backwards, which may sound true for most zombie novels, but the author's way of going about it is certainly unique, though I won't spoil any of it here.

My only complaint is that the book isn't longer. Yes, it's one of those. I desperately wish it was 400 pages. Or 700 pages. Maybe 1,000 pages. Seriously, I could have stayed with the characters for that long, and I must admit turning the final page was a huge letdown, simply because I knew I would no longer be spending my afternoons with the characters. He did a terrific job of getting me attached to them, and I just wish there was more. Pretty remarkable, for what could easily be mistaken as just another gory zombie book.

We're only halfway through October and I've already finished books for vampires, werewolves, and zombies. Oh dear! Now I wish I had an alien book. I guess I need to start digging through my books looking for more horror books to read!

>217 Ape: Hmm, no promises. :P Actually, we should be fine. I think there was maybe a couple of the books you bought, I probably would've bought, too. Oh! And speaking of library book sales, there's a BIG one coming up next Friday. Guess where I'll be! :)

Well, in that librarian's case, she only takes her close off. What else she does, who knows? But yes, talking to a librarian = immediate sex. It's in their contract when they join the Universal League of Librarians.

>218 Ape: Sounds good! I'm glad you've gotten fairly decent Halloween reads so far. :)

>219 Ape: So, you're down to Ghosts and Extras now? Hmm, looking at your catalog, Once... by James Herbert might fit into Extras, as well as Sacrifice by John Everson, This Rage of Echoes by Simon Clark, Dreamthorp by Chet Williamson, The Monster's Corner: Stories Through Inhuman Eyes by Christopher Golden, etc.

Ghosts: Ghost Monster by Simon Clark, Firefly Rain by Richard Dansky, The Body-Snatcher and Other Classic Ghost Stories by Michael Kelahan, etc.

I doubt I got through all your books, but those were ones I saw that didn't have ratings. Good luck! :)

Ha! You guessed my ghost novel before I posted it, I'll be reading Ghost Monster for that. I considered Firefly Rain, but I saw complaints that it wasn't scary, so I figured I'd go with the Simon Clark novel, because even if it's bad, at least I know it'll be firmly rooted in the horror novel.

Wow, you went on quite the investigation, didn't you? I know I have a few more options, in addition to those. I have a couple other Simon Clark books (In This Skin, Stranger), as well as Cold Black Hearts, and I know I have a few paperback horror novels buried in the back of my entertainment center, behind multiple stacks of books. I know Stage Fright is back there, and a couple others, whose covers I can recall but not their titles.

I actually have a "to read" collection, which contains the books I own but haven't read yet. I'm not sure which would be faster, getting that to load on dial-up or mounting an archeological expedition in my stacks.

In other news, SHYANNE IS FREE! :) Today is the day Shyanne no longer has to be caged, or on a leash when she is out in the yard. I had her out earlier and she is already trotting around. Not with her usual hyper-active exuberance, but she trots around, and it's super cute. When she tries to run she's very protective of the leg, not putting much weight on it and kind of skipping with it, but I think she'll get more comfortable in no time. Also, I don't know if the stitches she has from when she had the rod removed are pulling and making her uncomfortable. They aren't doing anything, she's all healed up, but they are the dissoluble "fall out on their own" type so she may have to deal with them for another week.

Anyway, it's been a lengthy ordeal, 2 and a half months in fact. it was August 1st when I took her into the vet, expecting the worst, thinking it was the last time I'd spend time with her, so seeing her able to roam about on her own today was wonderful for both of us.

----------------

I typed the above message offline earlier today, unfortunately, just recently she started limping heavily again, probably from jumping off the couch so I'm not sure she healed as well as the doctor hoped. I'm not sure if I should just let it go and let her learn to baby it herself, or put her back on cage rest myself. I'm leaning towards the latter, maybe for at least another week. *Shrug* I'll probably just let her go for the rest of tonight and see how she is feeling tomorrow morning. The X-rays showed the bone was healed so there isn't any worry about that, but the rod-removal surgery showed she had a bruised bone and some ligament damage that needed to heal, so I'm guess that is the issue.

Yay for Shyanne making progress! Mario has been super-slow at healing fully after her spay surgery (turns out she is allergic to the staples), which I know isn't as traumatic as what your gal has been through, but I sympathize with living with a slow healer. She'll get there, though.

Hi Stephano! Loved your review of This Dark Earth--really! Hope Shane is just stretching out muscles and that the limp isn't anything significant. Sending good doggie wishes!

Thanks, Amber, and I'm glad you figured that out, in regard to the staples. Shyanne was to the point last night that she couldn't walk on her leg at all, which she has been able to do for over a month now, so I've made the decision to put her back on cage rest for at least another week.

Kim: I'm pretty sure it was the torn ligament acting up. She's been walking vigorously for awhile now, but yesterday she was allowed to jump up and down off the furniture and she had that major setback. I'm also hoping it's just a small matter though, like maybe it just started to swell from use or something.

That is fabulous news regarding Shyanne's progress... for both her and you! I am sure it was no fun being caged or having to cage her. ;-)

Thanks! At the moment, due to the minor set back, I'm mostly letting her roam the house during the day but I'm caging her at night. I'm also continuing with walking her on the leash. Still, she has some freedom, which I'm sure she appreciates. :)

>221 Ape: Yay! Bonus points for me. How is Ghost Monster so far?

I did try and go through your books first before I just randomly listed book titles. I try to read my own stuff first, so I kind of figure a lot of other LTers are trying to do the same thing (like w/ the whole ROOTs challenge, which I really should've tried). As for dialup vs an expedition, I vote for the expedition. I know how irritatingly slow dial-up is.

>222 Ape: Hooray for Shyanne! :) That's great news. I think it's probably better to be a little protective of her movements for now, but I can understand how you both would love for her to be able to just run and move like she did before. It'll take some time, but I'm happy for her. :) Good daddy! *pats Stephen on the head* ;)

>223 scaifea: Allergic to staples? :( Uh oh, I'd never heard of that. Poor thing.

>228 saraslibrary: Oddly, it doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest - she doesn't even try to lick the area. It's more of a hassle for us, trying to keep her from romping too much until it's all healed.

Sara: Ghost Monster isn't bad. The gratuitous sex scenes have come and gone, so I'm happy to report I've survived that.

Yeah, I will definitely read from my own shelves, as much as I would like to go to the library for an alien horror book, my car still isn't safe to drive. Hmmmmm, but maybe it is worrh the risk? :P

Amber: Yep, that was my biggest issue with Shyanne. Pain management wasn't too much of an issue, and she never licked her stitches at all. Keeping her calm has been the biggest issue, since she is so hyper-active.

>229 scaifea: Yeah, some dogs are like that. :) Some aren't bothered by infections, rashes, broken bones, etc, while others are major cry babies if they have a leaf stuff to their foot (my mom's dog ;). I guess you guys are lucky, as well as your dog, so she doesn't have to wear The Cone of Shame. Best of luck with her while she heals!

>230 Ape: You survived the gratuitous sex?? You poor, brave thing. ;) I'm in the middle of reading Header by Edward Lee, so I doubt I'll recommend that one to you. Let's just say "header" is a term for some very icky, painful, non-consensual sex. o.o

Depending on which alien horror book is checked in at the moment, then that's up to you to decide if it's work the risk. (I can imagine Stephen dragging himself across the library floor, grabbing the book, and still checking it out. Because you know, it'd just be rude to steal a library book, never mind driving recklessly. ;) When's traffic the lightest? Mornings? Evenings when everyone's at home?

The funny thing, Shyanne usually is kind of a big cry baby. At least, in the past, she has seemed to have a pretty low pain tolerance. She'll whimper and whine over the smallest things, usually, but she has been strong through all she has been through the past couple months.

Hmmmm, if you had said a Header was something sexual but didn't elaborate on it I might have been excited, and made a terrible mistake later in life not realizing what I was asking for. :P

I probably won't make a library visit. Maybe. :P

She does sound like a cry baby. :D And it sounds like she has you wrapped her little paw. :P

Ha! Yeah, I don't think a header is something you want to try. Not only is it highly illegal, but well, like in one part of the story, you could get a cranial* bone fragment stuck in your, um, third leg and bleed out. Besides, all you have to do is look at the book cover and know it's not super sexy. Well, unless you're a vampire or into super sadistic stuff.

*Is that a word? I've been reading this story too long, that everything in it sounds backwards and all redneck. Ish.

Probably...maybe...hmm, I'm guessing you will until you see a cop. :P

She has had me wrapped around her little paw since the day I first saw her. Don't tell her that though.

Right, no headers for me. O.o

Shyanne is free again! I've decided to just let her do her thing. I still don't let her run up and down steps, but I think it is best to just let her "walk it off." She still won't use the leg when she runs, but over the past couple days I notice she uses it at higher and higher speeds, so I'm feeling pretty comfortable with letting her do what she wants again. :)

44. Ghost Monster by Simon Clark



Pages: 326
Rating: 3/5
Publication date: 2009

Fiction: Horror, Ghosts
Owned

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The Ghost Monster is the nickname the kids of a small English town have given to a mosaic of a creepy man in a mousoleum in an old cliff-side graveyard. The mosaic is a legend among the town, and an elderly man who is a descendent of the man in the picture swears that the pictures houses the soul of that terrible, evil man, and that it must be maintained and kept in perfect condition at all cost.

The problem? Coast erosion is eating away at the cliff at a rapid pace, so fast that the mousoleum will tumble into the sea in the matter of days. No one believes the crazy old man and his wild stories about evil spirits, but strange things have been happening in the town, and things only get darker and bloodier with every piece of soil that falls away from that graveyard.

I'll admit I went into this with a fair amount of reservation. It's not that I haven't read good books in the leisure horror compendium, but more often than not that are quite bad. This one isn't terrible and it's not poorly-written, so I guess that makes it better than average, right? I'm not wowed by it, but it did suck me in while reading it. I kind of hated one of the subplots involving two brothers and their crazy mother, but I really liked the main character and that helped speed the book along.

I probably won't be recommending this to anyone, but overall I'd say I enjoyed the ride.

Well, that complete the challenge! I'll still be reading horror throughout the month, of course, but it's always a relief to finish the 4 challenge books considering how few books I read in a month sometimes. :)

Congratulations, Stephen! *WHOOT!, WHOOT!*

Thanks, Lori! :)

>234 Ape: I don't think I have to tell her. Dogs sense these things--whose the alpha and all that.

Agreed: no headers all around. As usual, Edward Lee took the word "mind f*ck" one step too far. But that hasn't stopped me from ordering the movie. :P

>235 Ape: That's awesome! :) I think she'll kind of know how much pressure to put on her leg. Next move: bubble wrap her so it doesn't happen again. ;)

>236 Ape: Leisure horror usually does suck, but I think I'll still try that one eventually-ish.

>237 Ape: Wow! You finished it already? Good for you! :) Any plans for Halloween?

I figure if her leg hurts, she won't use it, and if it doesn't she will. She knows how much pain she is in better than I do, and confining her to a cage doesn't help.

She actually walks and trots on it fine, and she uses it normally to walk up steps. She seems to stiffen up when she lays on it for awhile, so when she firsts wakes up she won't put wait on it for a few seconds, then she'll limp heavily on it for 5 or 6 steps, and then she walks normally again. So, if it's stiffening up when she doesn't use it I don't think it'd be good to lock her in a cage. :)

Well, I've already started Dreamthorp, which actually has a similar plot to Ghost Monster. In this case, an Native American burial ground is disturbed and evil spirits seem to have been released. I'm only about halfway through it but I'm really liking it so far. If it doesn't last me until Halloween I don't know if I'll start another horror novel or not. We'll see, I guess!

>241 Ape: Good point. And I think movement and exercise is the best thing for her. Just like with people, moving around helps those little aches and pains.

Yeah, I just saw Dreamthorp pop up at the top of your thread. I was kind of curious how it would turn out, since the only other books I own by Chet Williamson are Lowland Rider and Soulstorm--both covers being the sucky side.

an Native American burial ground is disturbed and evil spirits seem to have been released. *sighs and shakes head* You would think after people saw Poltergeist they stop pulling crap like that. :P

Yeah, I think moving around and keeping it loose will be best. :)

The cover for Dreamthorp is kind of cool, it's just really dim, dark, and difficult to see. Here is a large and clear image of it though. Kind of cool, I guess.

In defense of the people of Dreamthorp, it was an old couple with metal detectors who disturbed the burial ground, because they were hunting for buried coins and dug up a mystical object of some sort. :P

I definitely like the cover of Dreamthorp! I know some authors don't get a say in what their book cover looks like, but I think sometimes a cover will hurt/help it being sold. However, I will still buy a crappy-ass cover if it's an old Leisure book, etc, because a lot of those books are out of print now, and I like a good, cheeseball horror book now and then.

Aha! Greedy old racists honkies! Why can't a Native American dig up a Catholic priest's grave or something and unleash a pedophile ghost? Now that would be scary! And offend so many people. :D

I agree, I always wonder what publishers are thinking when I see those REALLY bad covers, and I fell bad for the author if they don't have a say in it. I can understand it from the publisher's perspective, it's their job to market the book, but sometimes they do a poor job of it, right? I mean, you can take a generic nature photograph taken in a forest and slap the title and author name on it and have a cover that isn't terrible, so this is unacceptable. :P

Pedophile Catholic priest ghosts? Sounds like a winner to me!

45. Dreamthorp by Chet Williamson



Pages: 325
Rating: 4/5
Publication date: 1989

Fiction - Horror
Owned

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Dreamthorp is a pleasant little village in Pennsylvania that is the paradigm of tranquility and peacefulness. However, when a retired couple go treasure hunting with metal detectors, they stumble upon an ancient Native American quartz carving, things start to go south. People begin to die in mysterious ways, and the circumstances keep getting weirder with each passing member in the tight-knit community.

The plot may seem a bit campy, but I was surprisingly enthralled with this book. I was expecting the worst, maybe because I'm being prejudice by linking bad horror movies from the 80's with the horror in literature, so I wasn't expecting such a well-written book, with so many likable characters. People dying in a horror novel rarely will rarely a strong emotional response in me, it's kind of expected, but Chet Williamson definitely emphasized the tragic nature of death, while still maintaining a dark and creepy atmosphere. Something other horror writers should take note of.

The book does feel a little dated at times, such as when a character struggles to come to grips with their sexuality, however the author's take on equality hit all the right buttons for me. The book offers a wide variety of characters and viewpoints and it was nice to see the full spectrum represented. What a nice change from the typical one-sided chauvinistic slants you find in most stories.

>245 Ape: Yeesh. Those are some bad covers. And a lot of them didn't seem to have anything to do with the title. Though I have seen the Now That I'm Ghost, I'm Gay book before. :D Really? It happens that easily?

Absolutely a winner! ;) They can do some exorcisms, spew out some green pea soup, have someone's head spin around a few times...oh, wait. I'm ripping off The Exorcist. Still, ghost pedophiles would give me nightmares as a kid. o.o

>246 Ape: I'm glad that one worked out! :) Any more horror before Halloween?

I don't know if I'm going to read another horror book or not. Anything I start I won't be able to finish before the end of the month, and I've read so much horror now that none of my horror books look interesting. *shrug* I'll decide later today, I suppose.

No worries. Just enjoy whatever you decide to read. :)

I decided to read The Archer's Tale and I'm actually really liking it so far. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it was part of a series until after I had gotten into it. Hopefully it has a satisfying ending, because I'm not likely to get to read the others for awhile!

>250 Ape: Yeah, I saw The Archer's Tale was the U.S. name for it and didn't read any further on the page. I didn't want to burst your bubble if it ends on a cliffhanger or something. You could always paperclip the last chapter together, so that way you can make your own end up. ;)

Sure, make up my own ending. I'm pretty sure everyone dies, and the earth is overrun by a new race of insect-people. The criminal underworld trades in illegal chunky peanut butter and when a deal goes bad a nuclear war is triggered. And everyone dies again. *Sigh* Don't know why that keeps happening.

October Summary:

Books: 5
Pages: 1,669

Fiction: 5
Nonfiction: 0

Owned: 3
Library checkout: 2

Video Game summary:

Games played: 3

Playstation Vita: 1
Playstatinon 3: 0
Playstation 4: 2

Congrats on completing your October challenge!

>252 Ape: But they're insect-people now. It's impossible to kill insects, especially cockroaches, so I think a few will still live, repopulate the earth, and do it all again because the 50% human part of them isn't too bright. Yuum, chunky peanut butter. I'm so gonna be a mutant criminal. >:)

>253 Ape: Oh, yeah! It is that time of the month, huh? *raises eyebrow* No comments. :P

>255 MickyFine: What she said. :)

Thanks, Micky!

Sara: The nuclear bomb is made with insect repellent though, y'see. :)

Thread #5 is up! It'll probably be my last of the year, but we'll see.