Joe's Book Cafe Door 12

Paintings by August Macke

January, 2018

1. Artemis by Andy Weir
2. Bella Poldark by Winston Graham
3. Loose Woman by Sandra Cisneros
4. God Stalk by P.C. Hodgell
5. Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens
6. The Tuesday Club Murders by Agatha Christie
7. The Austen Escape by Katherine Reay
8. Bizarre Space A Kid's Guide by Jenn Dlugos and Charlie Hatton
9. Lessons on Expulsion by Erika L. Sanchez
10. Binti The Night Masquerade by Nnedi Okorafor
11. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
12. Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor
13. Warcross by Marie Lu
14. Hardcore Twenty-Four by Janet Evanovich
15. The Rules of Magic by Alice Hoffman

February 2018

16. The Odyssey translated by Emily Wilson
17. Neogenesis by Sharon Lee
18. The Pyramid of Mud by Andrea Camilleri
19. Girl in a Plain Brown Wrapper by John D. MacDonald
20. A Tan and Sandy Silence by John D. MacDonald
21. Lillian Boxfish Takes a Walk by Kathleen Rooney
22. Shock by Shock by Dean Young
23. A Dying Fall by Elly Griffiths
24. Lightning Blade by D.N. Erikson
25. Absolutely on Music by Haruki Murakami
26. Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie
27. The Power by Naomi Alderman
28. Light Boxes by Shane Jones

March

29. Down the River Unto the Sea by Walter Mosley
30. In Pursuit of Memory by Joseph Jebelli
31. A Local Habitation by Seanan McGuire
32. For We Are Many by Dennis Taylor
33. All These Worlds by Dennis Taylor
34. One Goal: A Coach by Amy Bass
35. We Are Okay by Nina Lacour
36. Artificial Night by Seanan Macguire
37. On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder
38. Where Now New and Selected Poems by Laura Kasischke
39. Wires and Nerve* by Marissa Meyer
40. Wires and Nerve Volume 2* by Marissa Meyer
41. A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf
42. And the earth did not devour him by Tomas Rivera
43. The Glass Universe by Dava Sobel
44. Camp Austen by Ted Scheinman
45. The Beauty: Poems by Jane Hirschfield
46. Dark Forest by Cixin Liu

April

47. Hellbent by Gregg Horwitz
48. The Disappeared by C.J. Box
49. The Invisible Library by Genevieve Cogman
50. The Masked City by Genevieve Cogman
51. Prairie Fires by Caroline Fraser
52. Selected Poems of Langston Hughes by Langston Hughes
53. All Systems Red by Martha Wells
54. Go, Went, Gone by Jenny Espenbeck
55. Quesadillas by Juan Pablo Villalobos
56. The Burning Page by Genevieve Cogman
57. Sandman Omnibus Vol. 2* by Neil Gaiman
58. Book of Dust by Phillip Pullman
59. Less: A Novel by Andrew Sean Greer
60. Brazen Rebel Ladies* by Penelope Bagieu
61. The Lost Plot by Genevieve Cogman

May

62. Wade in the Water by Tracy K. Smith
63. It Happens in the Dark by Carroll O'Connell
64. Late Eclipses by Seanan McGuire
65. Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly
66. One Salt Sea by Seanan McGuire
67. Texts from Jane Eyre by Mallory Ortberg
68. One Robe, One Bowl by Ryokan
69. Chimes at Midnight by Seanan McGuire
70. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid
71. Worth Dying For by Lee Child (re-read)
72. Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward
73. Artificial Condition by Martha Wells
74. The Book of Endings by Leslie Harrison
75. A Dying Fall by Elly Griffiths
76. Winter Long by Seanan McGuire
77. Flowers of Vashnoi by Lois McMaster Bujold
78. Tea Master and the Detective by Aliette de Bodard
79. Ink and Bone by Rachel Caine
80. The Ghost Fields by Elly Griffiths

June

81. Sleeping Giants by Sylvain Neuvel

Illustrated Books 2018

1. Saga Volume 8 by Fiona Staples
2. Black Panther Avengers of the New World by Ta-Nehisi Coates
3. Black Panther Book Two by Ta-Nehisi Coates
4. Moon Knight by Jeff Lemire
5. Henchgirl by Rita Stradling
6. The Adventures of Dieter Lumpen by Jorge Zentner
7. Death The Deluxe Edition by Neil Gaiman
8. Going into Town by Roz Chast
9. Black Panther Book Three by Ta-Nehisi Coates
10. Black Panther World of Wakanda by Roxanne Gay
11. After the Rain by Andre Julliard
12. Silent Days, Silent Dreams by Allen Say
13. Leave it to Chance by James Robinson
14. Thornhill by Pam Smy
15. Lumberjanes Vol. 4 by Noelle Stevenson
16. The Green Hand and Other Stories by Nicole Claveloux
17. Orphan Black Helsinki by Graeme Manson
18. Nemi by Lise Myrhe
19. Jane by Aline McKenna
20. Eye of the World Volume 5 by Robert Jordan
21. Andre the Giant by Box Brown
22. Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña
23. The Discworld Graphic Novels by Terry Pratchett
24. Starseeds by Charles Glaubitz
25. Why I Hate Saturn by Kyle Baker
26. Josephine The Dazzling Life by Patricia Hruby Powell
27. Ada Twist Scientist by Andrea Beaty
28. Paper Girls Vol. 4 by Brian K. Vaughan
29. Serenity No Power in the 'Verse by Chris Roberson
30. Hawkeye Kate Bishop Anchor Points by Kelly Thompson
31. Alpha Abidjan to Paris by Bessora
32. Drawing from Memory by Allen Say
33. Orphan Black Deviations by Heli Kennedy
34. Lazarus X+66 by Greg Rucka
35. How to Be Happy by Eleanor Davis
36. Flight Volume 6 edited by Kazu Kabuishi
37. Feathers by Jorge Corona
38. Lady Killer Vol. 2 by Joelle Jones

*Also an illustrated book

2018 Favorites So Far

Fiction

The Odyssey translated by Emily Wilson

A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

Less: A Novel by Andrew Sean Greer

Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly

Poetry

Where Now by Laura Kasischke

Selected Poems of Langston Hughes

Wade in the Water by Tracy K. Smith

Nonfiction

One Goal: A Coach, A Team by Amy Bass

Prairie Fires by Carolyn Fraser

Young Adult

We Are Okay by Nina Lacour

Vincent and Theo by Deborah Helligman

Science Fiction

The Power by Naomi Alderman

Binti The Night Masquerade by Nnedi Okorafor

All Systems Red by Martha Wells

Mystery

Down the River Unto the Sea by Walter Mosley

Illustrated Books

Silent Days, Silent Dreams by Allen Say

Sandman Omnibus Volume 2 by Neil Gaiman

Brazen Ladies by Penelope Baglieu

The three Welch sibs reunited: me, Judy, Angela.

We spent Saturday morning in the beautiful Borderland state park, where this was taken.

Illustration by Gibrat

Happy new thread, Joe. Great pic of you and your sisters!

>5 jnwelch: This looks like Princess Caroline of Monaco. How odd. I spend zero time looking at photos or reading about the royals...but that's who popped into my head!

Happy new thread!

Happy New Thread, Joe. I like the Macke toppers. Not familiar with this artist. Nice photo of the Welch sibs! The Borderland State Park does look gorgeous. My kinda place.

>6 Familyhistorian: Thanks, Meg. I had a blast with my sisters this past weekend. We always enjoy getting together.

>7 NarratorLady: I see it, Anne. She does look like Princess Caroline. Good one!

Hey, how did Camp Austen turn out for you? Fun/meh?

>8 figsfromthistle: Thanks, figs!

>9 msf59: Thanks, Mark. August Macke is an artist well worth exploring. I like his paintings a lot, as you can probably tell.

Thanks re the sibs photo. I hope some day you get to meet those two. They're a hoot.

The Borderland State Park was gorgeous, for sure. Before MA acquired it, it was the estate of the Ames family, who made their fortune selling . . . wait for it . . . shovels. My sister said there was a time when 2 out of every 3 shovels sold were Ames shovels. Only in America!

The Ames mansion, designed by the fascinating Blanche Ames, is part of the park. We took a tour, and loved it. I'll try to post a photo or two tomorrow. Inside photos were prohibited, but it features a beautiful and dramatic two story library.

I found some online photos of the Ames library we saw (see >11 jnwelch:).

>10 jnwelch: I didn’t finish Camp Austen Joe. I did find it a bit meh. I think I enjoyed Jill Lepore’s New Yorker piece about a similar Dickens camp more. Right now I’m reading Death at La Fenice by Donna Leon, the first of her Detective Brunetti series.

Also The Lark by E. Nesbit. (No touchstones for “The Lark” which isn’t a surprise. Written in 1922, it was apparently “rediscovered” by the writer Penelope Lively and is back in print with a forward by Lively.)

Morning, Joe! Happy new thread!

And wow, that library is gorgeous!

Hi Joe and happy new thread!

>13 jnwelch: As @richardderus would say, book porn!

Happy new thread, Joe! Great picture of you with your sisters!

Happy new thread, Joe. Great photos. Where are you in the birth order, with your sisters? I don't know why but this is always interesting to me. I often think I should have studied that!

State (or Provincial!) parks are always such a wonderful experience. Once, back in 2009, I was visiting a friend in W.V. and she took us to Old Man's Cave in Ohio. Wow, what an amazing place that was! I think that, apart from the nature and natural and unmarred beauty, there is also a lot to learn about the history of these places. The historic plaques tell a lot, more than meets the eye. As, in your case, the tidbits about the shovels! ;-)

Morning, Joe! Happy new thread! Love the photo of you with the sisters.

>14 NarratorLady: Ah, too bad about Camp Austen, Anne. Sounds like my love of and interest in all things Austen elevated it for me. I did read the Lepore Dickens piece on your suggestion and liked it, but I got more of a kick out of Scheinman's book.

I'll look forward to your take on the Brunetti series. I liked it, but didn't get magnetized to it like the Montalbano one.

I loved reading E. Nesbit as a young guy. The Phoenix and the Carpet, Five Children and It, The Story of the Amulet, The Book of Dragons, The Railway Children, and I'm sure I'm missing a couple. I'd never heard of The Lark, so I'll look for that.

>15 scaifea: Morning, Amber! Thanks!

Isn't that library gorgeous? We had no idea - we wanted to see the mansion as part of our time in the state park, and stumbled onto a tour of it, which allowed us to see that library.

My email system that has the email with them is acting up, but I'll try to post the photos I took of the outside. Blanche Ames, the talented wife, designed it inside and out, and the beautiful portrait paintings inside are hers. Photos inside weren't allowed.

>16 karenmarie: Thanks, Karen! Great book porn, right?

>17 ChelleBearss: Thanks, Chelle! We had a blast together.

>18 jessibud2: Thanks, Shelley. Judy's the oldest, then Angela, and I'm the youngest. Madame MBH is the youngest in her family, with two older brothers.

I bet you're right about the state parks. I'll have to keep an eye out for a chance to see that one in Ohio. I've mostly been in the large national ones in the U.S. Borderland State Park and the Ames mansion were an unexpected treat. Isn't that surprising about the shovels? What a way to make a fortune.

>19 Crazymamie: Thanks, Mamie! The sisters and I have stayed close. Our getting along with each other helps a lot when we need to make collective decisions about our up-there-in-years dad. It was nice to just have some pure fun without worrying about him.

Cool street art

>20 jnwelch: Ah you found the touchstone for The Lark! (Guess I didn't look very hard.) Unlike most of E. Nesbit's books, this one isn't for children. It's light and has child-like characters but twists and surprises too and a very opinionated narrator. I'm recording it and it's a lot of fun.

>24 jnwelch: Very cool! Happy new thread Joe.

Glad to hear you had such a good weekend with your family and sisters.

Who doesn't dream sometimes of having a library like that? And then of picking the books to fill it with?

I'm loving the toppers, and the library Joe >13 jnwelch:..

Tee hee re >12 jnwelch:.

Ten days without reading your thread! All caught up for the next few minutes. I love the pictures at the top.

>1 jnwelch: I was going to ask if those pictures were watercolors or pastels, Joe, but since you say "paintings"...Definitely bright and cheerful and just the thing for the cafe!

Happy Tuesday, Joe! I have had quite an active day, now I am trying to bookhorn in some reading. We CAN NOT neglect the books, right?

I am enjoying Wade in the Water and just hit the halfway point. Have not cracked a GN in over 2 weeks. WTH?

Oh that library Joe. 💕💕

Happy new thread, Joe.

>13 jnwelch: The Ames library certainly looks well worth a visit.

>25 NarratorLady: Sounds intriguing, Anne. I'm glad you've got a fun one to do. I'll take a a look at The Lark.

>26 EllaTim: Right, Ella? Thanks.

It was a great weekend with the sisters and our cousins. I know, I'd love to have a library like that, and to fill it with the books I choose. That's sort of how I think of my LT library - although having it in reality would be better than imagining it.

>27 Caroline_McElwee: Thanks, Caroline. I'm glad you're enjoying those.

Isn't >12 jnwelch: a giggle? Perfect for our savvy, book-reading crowd.

>28 ffortsa: Hi, Judy. Woo, 10 days without reading this thread? Were you in a coma? I can't imagine! :-) Aren't the Macke pictures cool? He's so good.

>29 ronincats: Right, they're paintings, Roni. He deserves to be known better, IMO. I'm glad you like them. Here's another:

>30 msf59: Hiya, Mark. I'll have to get over to your thread and find out what you've been actively doing today!

Book neglect is a leading cause of emptiness and longing, from what I hear. I hope you can get to yours pronto.

I'm glad you're enjoying Wade in the Water. So good!

What?! No GN for 2 weeks?! Your visual storytelling senses are going to atrophy if you don't get with it quick, man.

>31 brenzi: Ha! Right, Bonnie? What a beautiful library. I need to find out more about Blanche Ames - she fired the architect they'd lined up, and designed the whole thing herself. Here's what it looked like from the outside:





The rest of the inside of the Ames Mansion, besides the library, was beautiful, too, and she painted all of the paintings in it except one of her.

P.S. I love those hearts in your post!

>32 PaulCranswick: Thanks, Paul. Isn't that Ames library a beaut?

Morning, Joe!

>24 jnwelch: Whoa, I love that.

>37 jnwelch: Again I say, whoa. Very castle-y.

Happy new thread!

Wonderful beautiful library. And not just the physical space, but the books look gorgeous - no secondhand paperbacks there!

You asked whether I had found anything of interest in this month's ER books ..... mmm... I currently have seven requested although I may cut that back a bit. I'm an odd duck and often choose LTER books by publisher. Anything published by Akashic or OneWorld I look at very hard. And then there's The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers (And Their Muses) which just sounds fun and What the Eyes Don't See about the Flint water crises. If I had to take a bet, I'd guess I'll win this last book since that's the ER genre I seem to be slotted into.

>39 scaifea: Morning, Amber!

Isn't that a cool one in >24 jnwelch:? What an effect.

The Ames wanted a castle, so they'd be happy that you see it as one (me, too). On the outside it's all stone from the area (they didn't want much wood - they were worried about fires in the heavily forested park). That bell is from Cuba - they saw it on a trip on an abandoned structure, fell in love with it, and had it brought to MA.

It's probably too late, but it's tempting to invest in shovels, isn't it. :-)

>40 streamsong: Thanks, Janet!

Isn't that a beautiful library? The tour guide says his favorite books in it are the husband's quite factual diaries, which go way back. He gets to sit in there by himself, with gloves on, and read whatever he wants, lucky guy.

Good for you with the ER books. I did take an interest in that famous writers retirement home one, just not enough. I love that you often choose by publisher - that never crossed my mind. Good luck!

This powerful immigrant poem was the Poem-a-Day today.

Beginnings

Mahtem Shiferraw

This is not how it begins
but how you understand it.

I walk many kilometers and
find myself to be the same—

the same moon hovering over
the same, bleached sky,

and when the officer calls me
it is a name I do not recognize,
a self I do not recognize.

We are asked to kneel, or
stand still, depending on which land
we embroider our feet with—

this one is copious with black blood
or so I am told.

Someone calls me by the skin
I did not know I had
and to this I think—language,

there must be a language
that contains us all
that contains all of this.

How to disassemble
the sorrow of beginnings,

how to let go, and not,
how to crouch beneath other bodies
how to stop breathing, how not to.

Our fathers are not elders here;
they are long-bearded men
shoving taxi cabs and sprawled
in small valet parking lots—

at their sight, my body dims its light
(a desiccated grape)
and murmur, Igziabher Yistilign—
our pride, raw-purple again.

We begin like this: all of us
walking in solitude
walking a desert earth and
unforgiving bodies. We cross lines
we dare not speak of; we learn and
unlearn things quickly, or intentionally slow
(because, that, we can control)
and give ourselves new names
because these selves must be new
to forget the old blue.

But, sometimes, we also begin like this:
on a cold, cold night
memorizing escape routes
kissing the foreheads of small children
hiding accat in our pockets,
a rosary for safekeeping.

Or, married off to men thirty years our elders
big house, big job, big, striking hands.

Or, thinking of the mouths to feed.

At times
we begin in silence;

water making its way into our bodies—
rain, or tears, or black and red seas
until we are ripe with longing.







Copyright © 2018 Mahtem Shiferraw. Used with permission of the author.



About This Poem

“It is difficult to contain the plights of the nomads, the immigrants, in a language. It is filled with displacement, disarray, a thick grief. It is lonely. It is humbling. It breaks us, slowly, slowly. But we can talk about it in bits and pieces. And part of being an immigrant is having to start over again, having to begin in a new land, a new life, without forgetting the old one. Having a new identity, a new name, a new self. To begin—without a home, walking in solitude; to begin in silence. This poem is an attempt to give space to that.”
—Mahtem Shiferraw




Mahtem Shiferraw is a writer and visual artist from Ethiopia and Eritrea. Her poetry collection, Fuchsia (University of Nebraska Press, 2016), received the Sillerman First Book Prize for African Poets. She holds an MFA in creative writing from the Vermont College of Fine Arts. She divides her time between Los Angeles, California, and Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Love your toppers, as per usual, and the photos of the Ames library. But best of all is the sibling photo! Happy new thread wishes.

>43 Berly: Thanks, Kim. Them's some pretty good sibs, I must say.

Help is on its way

Wow - that's an amazing piece of street art!

'Morning, Joe!

The Ames Mansion is fascinating - I looked a bit online and saw a few photos of the interior. I love things like that - I've toured Hearst Castle twice, Biltmore three times, different tours each time. I even have a piece of brick from Biltmore. Husband, daughter, and I were on a tour that included several bedrooms undergoing refurbishment. Husband spied a tiny piece of brick on the floor and nicked it.

>42 jnwelch: LIKE! I saw this one too. Good idea, to share it.

Happy Wednesday, Joe. It is a beauty out here. I hope you guys can get out for a walk.

>46 drneutron: Isn't >46 drneutron: amazing, Jim? There's a lot going on in there, besides the 3D effect.

>47 karenmarie: Morning, Karen! The Ames Mansion is fascinating, isn't it. I'd love to tour others like the Hearst Castle and the Biltmore. The only similar things I've been to that I can think of are Soane's Museum in London (Sir John's home) and the Tenement museum in NYC, which is on the other end of the scale.

I like your Ocean's Three brick caper.

>48 msf59: Isn't >42 jnwelch: a fine poem, Mark? Every once in a while that Poem-a-Day will send a really good one.

Happy Wednesday. We had a hard workout this a.m., so I probably won't be strolling, but I do plan to set up out on our deck, in this fine weather.

Great book bargain today: Of Wolves and Men by Barry Lopez on Kindle for $1.99. Terrific book.

>50 jnwelch: I have had that on my shelf for years, a well chosen gift. I really must nudge it up the pile Joe.

>51 Caroline_McElwee: Free is the best bargain out there, Caroline! It's a great book. You'll enjoy it when you get to it.

More wonderful toppers and I love the prior thread's photo of you and your two sisters!

>45 jnwelch: Love that image!

Happy New Thread, Joe!

Morning, Joe!

Morning, Joe. Sweet Thursday. I am glad you are getting your workouts in. Keep up the good work. Looks like another beauty today. I will have to see if Of Wolves and Men is still a Kindle deal. I have wanted to read that one.

ETA- I got the Lopez. B.A.G.

>53 EBT1002: Thanks, Ellen!

>54 scaifea: Morning, Amber!

>55 msf59: Sweet Thursday, Mark. The working out has been great. I'm back to being able to do things in my daily life that were slipping away after all those years behind a desk.

You're a natural for Of Wolves and Men - I hope the deal is still there.

I finished Sing, Unburied, Sing, and can see why it's gotten all the buzz it has. It was a bit too Faulknerian for me, but others no doubt find that a plus.

The Book of Endings by Leslie Harrison was a solid poetry collection, and worthy of being an NBA finalist.

Shop Until You Drop - identified as a Banksy

Who says my poems are poems?
My poems are not poems.
After you know my poems are not poems,
Then we can begin to discuss poetry!"

Ryokan is a famous Zen poet who lived on the west coast of Japan in the late 1700s and early 1800s. At 18 he was supposed to follow his father as village headman, and instead became a Buddhist monk. His poems, as ably translated by John Stevens in One Robe, One Bowl, are simple and moving.

First days of spring - blue sky, bright sun.
Everything is gradually becoming fresh and green.
Carrying my bowl, I walk slowly to the village.
The children, surprised to see me,
Joyfully crowd about, bringing
My begging trip to an end at the temple gate.
I place my bowl on top of a white rock and
Hang my sack from the branch of a tree.
Here we play with the wild grasses and throw a ball.
For a time, I play catch while the children sing;
Then it is my turn.
Playing like this, here and there, I have forgotten the time.
Passers-by point and laugh at me, asking,
"What is the reason for such foolishness?"
No answer I give, only a deep bow;
Even if I replied, they would not understand.
Look around! There is nothing besides this.

****

Here's another one:

My hut lies in the middle of a dense forest;
Every year the green ivy grows longer.
No news of the affairs of men,
Only the occasional song of a woodcutter.
The sun shines and I mend my robe;
When the moon comes out I read Buddhist poems.
I have nothing to report, my friends.
If you want to find the meaning, stop chasing after
so many things.

And a famous haiku:

The thief left it behind
The moon
At the window.

****

From Stevens' introduction: "While his hermitage was deep in the mountains, he often visited the neighboring villages to play with the children, drink sake with the farmers, or visit his friends. He slept when he wanted to, drank freely, and frequently joined the dancing parties held in summer. He acquired his simple needs by mendicancy, and if he had anything extra he gave it away. He never preached or exhorted, but his life radiated purity and joy; he was a living sermon."

People he visited "felt as if spring had come on a dark winter's day." This book of his poems conveys the same feeling.

Happy Thursday Joe. I've been out of touch. I send greetings and all good wishes.

>42 jnwelch: Wonderful and powerful poem, Joe. It brings home the experience of displacement so clearly.

>58 jnwelch: Also lovely, although I have a hard time accepting his kind of freedom, as it rests on the work of others.

We received a new upper grades children's book in the library that I think might interest you since you are a fan of Brian Selznick. The book is Thornhill by Pam Smy. It has a very interesting layout and format with lots of art.

I am sort of into this kind of book. I started listening to book 2 in the Illuminae series. Gemina - so far so good. This series has an odd format. Much more illustrative than most YA novels. Sort of half-way between graphic novel and regular narrative.

>60 ffortsa: Hi, Judy. I'm glad you find that >42 jnwelch: poem wonderful and powerful. Me, too!

The >58 jnwelch: poems are very Buddhist, of course. From the POV of the others who give to Ryokan, what he returns is well worth it. This idea is not something embedded in our USA culture right now. What he embodies, besides Spring on a dark winter's day and "a living sermon", is that we can find meaning if we stop chasing after so many things, and "Look around! There is nothing besides this." This is a guy I would've loved to meet and have in the neighborhood, and I would've been happy to give to him. It's like giving at the Temple or Church, only better, for somebody like me.

Unfortunately the "Buddhist monks" we see here on our streets are usually scammers. Think the Dalai Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh instead.

Hi Joe, I caught up with your last thread and loved your comments on Go, Went, Gone and Less in particular. GWG will probably be in my Top Ten this year, and Less is waiting for me at the library. I see it is on your Favorites list. It was a surprise to me when it won the Pulitzer.

You scored a book bullet with Lilac Girls despite my resolve not to read any more books with "Girl" or "Woman" in the title this year. Haha. I'm easy...

Your threads have so much interesting art and poetry. They are adding to my cultural education. Thank you!

>61 benitastrnad: You know me well, Benita. On an LTer's recommendation, I did read Thornhill, and it was pretty good. I'd put Brian Selznick's books on a higher level, but I enjoyed it.

I'm glad you're liking the second Illuminae book.

>59 Whisper1: Happy Thursday, Linda! Good to see you here. How are you feeling? I suspect you were going through a lot while you were out of touch. Greetings and all good wishes to you, my friend.

>63 Donna828: Hiya, Donna. Glad to have a fellow Go, Went, Gone appreciator. Darryl is the one who tipped me off to it. It makes for an interesting combination with that Alpha Abidjan to Paris graphic book, too.

Andrew Sean Greer was probably as surprised as anyone when Less: A Novel won the Pulitzer. That adds some spice and humor to reading about a character in his novel winning the Pulitzer for his poetry.

Oh, Lilac Girls will be right up your alley. You're going to be very glad you read it, or my name's Rumpelstilskin.

I've been reading discussions about disliking "Girl" or "Girls" in book titles, but not "Woman" (or "Women"). What bugs you - it's overdone?

Belated happy new thread, Joe.
I am reading Go, went gone now :-)

Moring, Joe!

Adding One Robe, One Bowl the the list!

>67 FAMeulstee: Thanks, Anita.

I look forward to seeing what you think of Go, Went, Gone.

>68 scaifea: Morning, Amber!

Oh good. I think you'll like One Robe, One Bowl when you get to it. I'm re-reading Han Shan, another favorite, now.

Starting the day

by Tidus

Morning, Joe! Happy Friday! I love the poem in >42 jnwelch:. Thanks for posting it.

>70 jnwelch: yup, that's my start to the day.

A belated happy new thread Joe, I have been rather busy this week one way or another and it the first time I have managed to get on here since Sunday. Great thread toppers as usual mate.

>58 jnwelch:

"When the moon comes out I read Buddhist poems.
I have nothing to report, my friends.
If you want to find the meaning, stop chasing after
so many things." Like!!

Happy Friday, Joe. I am going solo for the next couple of nights. Sue is camping with friends, (I wish I could have gone) and Matt is at a wedding, in Ohio, for the weekend. Just me and Riley boy.

I did finish Wade in the Water and I did admire it but not sure I was as impressed as you were. I think I preferred her last one. Hey, it happens, right?

>56 jnwelch: "It was a bit too Faulknerian for me, but others no doubt find that a plus." *raises hand* Well, I just bought Sing, Unburied, Sing yesterday, based on quite a lot of positive response around here, but I don't think anyone else mentioned it being Faulknerian. It just went to the tippy top of my TBR pile!

As always, your thread is a visual feast, Joe. >35 jnwelch: I love pictures like that. It's even better than the topper IMHO.

Castles are interesting to visit and Hearst Castle was something else, kind of a mishmash of styles. The zebras on the grounds were kind of odd.

>71 Crazymamie: Hi, Mamie. Thanks. That >42 jnwelch: poem is a strong one, isn't it.

>72 Caroline_McElwee: Me, too, Caroline, minus the hair.

>73 johnsimpson: Thanks, John. No worries, mate. I'm glad you like the toppers.

>74 msf59: Hiya, Mark. Right? I love that. Ryokan's a humble guy, and a wise one.

>75 msf59: So you own the TV remote for the whole weekend, Mark? Aces!

Re Wade in the Water: it does happen. I've been quoting her lines:

"The worst in us having taken over
And broken the rest utterly down."

Woo, ain't that on target.

Hey, she won a Pulitzer for Life on Mars, so your preference has a lot to be said for it. She's catapulted onto my favorite poets list.

>76 laytonwoman3rd: Ha! Right, I thought of you, Linda. I'm not alone in the Faulkner comparison, so there's a good chance you'll love Sing, Unburied, Sing.

>77 Familyhistorian: Thanks, Meg. Oh good. I love ones like >35 jnwelch:, too.

I didn't know about the zebras on the ground at the Hearst castle. That is odd, but maybe wonderful?

The Ames Mansion is all of a piece, thanks to Blanche. And what surroundings - a whole state park that the kids used to play in as their own.

She must have great eyesight

Or she is very nearsighted;-)
Beautiful picture!

Have a nice weekend, Joe

>83 EllaTim: Right, Ella. :-) And dexterous fingers, for turning those tiny pages. Isn't it beautiful?

We're having a nice weekend so far. I hope yours is, too.

Our backyard with crabapple and dogwood trees in bloom

>85 jnwelch: Looks familiar...

Happy Sunday, Joe!

It is about one month until that American Library Association meet in New Orleans. I contacted Abby and she and Tim (both are the LT Gods) will be in New Orleans. I will be planning a meet-up for anybody who is attending the summer ALA conference in New Orleans. Abby has already told me that there will be free passes to the exhibits.

If you live anywhere close to New Orleans this would be a good opportunity for free “Advanced Reader’s Copies”. (ARC’s) from the publishers. There is also the opportunity to purchase books at discounted prices as well. With the free passes from LT to the exhibits even if you have to pay for a hotel room it can be worth it.

I will have more details later as well as a thread here on LT set up later. But in the meantime, if you have questions use PM me.

>85 jnwelch: That looks so lovely, Joe. I was telling The Fiancé this week that when we get a house of our own that I want lilacs in the backyard for sure. Spring blossoms are so lovely and amongst my favourites.

>85 jnwelch: a good place to enjoy a book Joe.

Beautiful trees.

>58 jnwelch: Has just knocked my socks off. Added it to the wishlist. I love the idea that there is nothing more than this. (Typo originally was I live the idea, which seems like a challenge!)

>87 kidzdoc: Ha! Yes, you know that view of our backyard, Darryl. Can't wait until we get you out on the deck again, buddy.

Happy Sunday! We're off to see day 2 of Becca performing in Mortified. They added a second show after the first one sold out. She was so good last night!

Today's meetup with pal Mark. We're at the Maplewood brewpub near Western and Diversey in Chicago. Books may have come up once or twice. We're drinking Morbidly Obese Pug and Fat Pug - can you believe it?

Who names those beers? LOL!

Cheer up, you guys!

>93 jnwelch: Had a great time, Joe, although you would never know from that glum photo. Grins...

I hope you are having a great time, at your 2nd night of Mortified. Go Becca!

I really got behind on your thread. I pretty much missed an entire thread and 95 in this one!

>93 jnwelch: Hmm, too bad you guys don't get along. Great meet up pic and nice shot of the blooming trees in your backyard. Most of our blooming trees are done now, it is time for the cottonwood drifting through the air.

Nice meet up pic! You guys look like you're having a good time.

>88 benitastrnad: Thanks, Benita. We love New Orleans, and I'd love to do ALA there some year. Have a great time.

>89 MickyFine: Thanks, Micky. Below the dogwood on the right is a lilac that is just starting to blossom. Madame MBH loves lilacs, too, and we have one in front of the house as well. That scent from them is one of the best parts of spring. I look forward to you and your fiance getting that house with lilacs in the backyard.

>90 Caroline_McElwee: You got that right, Caroline. I love sitting out on that deck and reading. This morning it is pouring rain, and I'm not sure where I put the waterproof books, so I'll probably read inside.

>91 charl08: Thanks, Charlotte.

Ha! Living the idea of there is nothing more than this sounds perfect, Charlotte. That's what our friend Ryokan was doing. I'm glad >58 jnwelch: hit home for you. It's a beautiful volume.

>94 jessibud2: I know, Shelley, right? The names of these craft beers just get crazier and crazier. I grew up with pugs, too (my parents always had one or two), but they were never morbidly obese, and only one got a bit over-tubby.

That was a fun time! It was just too hard to be somber, darn it.

>95 msf59: Ha! Ditto, Mark! Great time, buddy, and glum never had it so good.

Thanks re Mortified. We enjoyed the second night of Becca as much as the first, and she was terrific. What a charmer. Her teenage love poems to her favorite Bulls, and tales of schoolboy crushes, had the crowd cracking up and cheering. She deserves to be really proud of herself.

>96 thornton37814: Ha! Always a pleasure to have you here, Lori, and I'm glad you got caught up. I'm pretty sure we solved all the problems of the world in the last thread and a half.

>97 Familyhistorian: Hiya, Meg. Yeah, Mark's great company, as you'd expect. A brother from another mother. It's always a treat when we get together. He seems to have read a book or three, too. Maplewood was a new brewpub for us, and I'm sure we'll be back.

Aren't those trees beautiful? Spring started so late here, seems like. We'll be blooming for a while - our lilacs haven't even come in yet.

>98 drneutron: Thanks, Jim. We need to get you out here for a meetup. You'd love it. You can see the sun nearly as well from here as from where you are. We did have a mighty good time, as usual with friend Mark.

Hi Joe!

(since I haven't said it for a while) Happy yesterday's tomorrow!

>85 jnwelch: Pink dogwoods are among my favorites.

>93 jnwelch: Glad you and mark get to meet up regularly.

Morning, Joe! Love the pic of the trees in bloom. And also the one of you and Mark, of course.

RE lilacs. I pruned my lilac tree last fall as it was rather heavy on one side. Wouldn't you know it, though, this year, it only blossomed on the unpruned side! Damn! And I needed to use an extra long *S* hook to pull down some branches so I could cut some of those fragrant blooms to bring inside. Hopefully next year, the blooming will be more symmetrical!. But I now have a jug of fragrant blossoms on my kitchen counter and it is intoxicating! I love it!!

>104 karenmarie: Happy yesterday's tomorrow, Karen! I love that. Jeez is it a crummy weather day where we are. I may have to send the St. Bernard with the keg for brother Mark.

I've become a pink dogwood fan, too. We had a tree specialist come by for our huge silver maple out front (it's fine), and she was thrilled by the dogwood, and asked to take a photo of it.

Mark and I do make a point of getting together regularly. It's always a treat with that guy.

>105 Crazymamie: Morning, Mamie! Thanks re both photos. Two of my favorite places - our backyard, and a brewpub. :-)

>106 jessibud2: Eesh, I always worry about the pruning, Shelley. I know the worry, but I bet it's fine next year. Yes, that lilac fragrance is intoxicating. I can just imagine how good your kitchen smells right now! We have a lot of lilacs in our area, and we always stop and smell the ones near the sidewalk when we're out walking. There's also a purple rose bush by the church on our street that should show up soon, and it's got its own wonderful fragrance.

Morning, Joe. It would have been a perfect day, to stay home with the books, but I will make the best of it.

Glad folks like the Meet Up photo. And I am happy that Becca had another success last night, with Mortified.

Thanks, buddy. You're right, perfect day for staying home with the books. Hope it goes all right for you. At least it'll be warming up a bit.

I'm glad folks are liking the meetup photo, too. Maplewood warrants a return visit. Last night was a lot of fun, and Becca had a number of friends in the audience, so that made it even more special for her. I'm hoping she does more of this; she's really good at it.

Oh lovely trees in your yard.

Yay for a meetup with Mark! Always nice to see meetup photos.

Morning, Joe. Just checking in. What is the latest with your Dad? I hope it is positive news. Fingers crossed.

>111 msf59: Thanks, Mark. I just texted you. It's looking a good deal better than it did last night. I'm waiting on the next report. It looks like he may have bounced back again, despite the doctor's dire outlook.

>110 SuziQoregon: Thanks, Juli. Those trees continue to look gorgeous, and now the lilac by the dogwood tree is coming in. It was a swell meetup with that bird aficionado.

Finally, someone's got the right idea

>112 jnwelch: - As I mentioned to my friend the other day, as her brother-in-law, close to 90, also keeps bouncing back from what looks like dire, maybe he (and your dad!) have the Prince Philip effect going on: down but right back up, again and again!

Of course, your dad still has to be available for the 4-generation photo shoot, right? ;-)

>114 jessibud2: Ha! The Prince Philip effect - that is what has happened and is happening with my dad, Shelley. As Mark says, he's a scrappy old guy.

I hope he's around for the 4-gen photo in August. It's certainly looking like more of a possibility this morning than it did last night.

Hi Joe, as always, it's a treat to catch up here and see all the artwork and pictures. Of course it was lovely to see those two smiley fellows at >93 jnwelch:. I hope your Dad is doing well, we celebrated my Mom's 97th birthday this last weekend, she is amazing all of us with her continued good health.

Thanks, Judy. 97 and healthy - so great re your Mom.

My Dad unfortunately is struggling, and we may have to move him to a memory unit. I may not be on LT much for a while.

Sorry to hear about your dad Joe. It seemed he was doing well after his procedure initially. Still, if the memory unit helps, and we know he has his loving family supporting him, then he will struggle less hopefully. Holding you all in my thoughts.

What Caroline said. Sending good vibes out your way. Whatever works best for him. And yes, so good that the family is on board, whatever that may entail

{{hugs}}

I'm sorry your Dad is having a hard time, Joe. Good luck with the memory unit, if that turns out to be next. Every transition is tough.

Sorry to hear about your dad, Joe. Keeping you and him and your family in my thoughts.

Oh, that's too bad, Joe. My mother was in a memory unit for a while, and the restrictions infuriated her. I hope you find a better place, with a more relaxed kind of control. Respect is important, especially since your father would be leaving a very familiar home for a very different environment. Good luck.

Sorry, to hear about your Dad, Joe. Keep us informed, whenever you can.

Are you still heading to MI tomorrow?

Thanks, everyone. Long story short, we were able to bring him around to do what they needed to release him to go home, instead of the memory unit. That should happen today. So that’s very good news. The main problem was that he refused to walk (with a walker), but once he understood that, if he did, and cooperated instead of fighting everyone, he could go home, he took care of business.

Yes, Mark, I’m taking the early train to MI, as there continues to be a lot going on. I appreciate the support, and will try to keep you informed.

Have a safe trip, Joe. Thoughts & Prayers, but not the empty Republican version.

Safe travels to Ann Arbor today, Joe. You and your father will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Sorry to hear about your dad. Hope you have a safe trip.

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad Joe. My thoughts are with you and I hope things get a little better. This stage of life is very hard to get through.

>124 jnwelch:

Wishing you peaceful travels out of Union Station
and a welcome resolution for your Father.

>124 jnwelch: Glad you sorted things out, Joe, and your father can go back home now.

So sorry your dad is not doing too well Joe. Good luck getting that sorted out. My mom had Alzheimer’s and after the initial memory problems the first major problem was she forgot how to walk, just couldn’t put one foot in front of the other.

Glad to hear they let your dad go home Joe. So good to be in a familiar, comforting space.

>124 jnwelch: good news Joe. I think the idea of losing independence can get in a tangle, and the layers needed to be unravelled it seems. It's also hard to know how someone has absorbed what they have been told, or there was a missing bit of information.

I hope the visit is productive and enjoyable too.

Thanks again everyone. I’ll try to respond individually at some point. It’s been complicated, but we’re getting him squared away with home hospice and eventual (depending on availability) transition to an appropriate facility. His state of being is all over the place, including his singing (!) just a few minutes ago.

>134 jnwelch: Thanks, for the update, Joe. Glad you are there, helping things along. We just hope your Dad is comfortable and singing is good, right?

>135 msf59: You're welcome, Mark. Yes, I meant his singing to be a good thing. He's just Mr. Unpredictable right now. He needs a lot of help physically that he didn't before, and he's not always happy about that. He's starting to eat again, so that's a good thing, too. And the singing was a pleasant surprise. We play classical music by him, and he started singing along. So cool.

We're making him more comfortable - hospice is providing a new, better bed that will help caregivers and equipment like a lift, although I'm not sold on the lift at this point - it works with a sling, and the instability is going to be hard for him to accept. He gets scared. The best part of the day yesterday was he accepted oxygen tubes in his nose. His brain has been forgetting to breathe while he's asleep (my terminology, not theirs), and it's been depriving him of oxygen like sleep apnea would. (He wouldn't accept the C-pap face mask that a lot of people with sleep apnea use). This should really help.

People can live a long time in hospice, it's not the 6 month expectancy it used to be. If he sleeps well, he's a different guy, and much more with it. I'm going to stay a couple of extra days to help out here, and to figure out next steps. He's a prime candidate now for a facility now with the extent of his needs, but we'd like to keep him at home as long as we can.

I wish it was easier for him, but he's got a lot of people who love him trying to make it as enjoyable for him as possible. It's been a good life and, as you said, he's a scrappy guy. He's not ready to hang it up yet.

Beautiful picture Joe.

It's good you are with your dad. I hope that a good balance can be found to give him back some pleasure, and make him feel more secure.

Well we all know how much better we function with good sleep.

Thanks, Caroline. Well put on the balance we’re trying to find. And you’re right about the value of good sleep. He’s had a good night of it, so we’ll see how he is when he wakes up.

Isn’t that a beautiful photo?

>Yummy photo Joe. Here's hoping that a good night's sleep has done your Dad a world of good. Having you there will give him pleasure I know.

>139 jnwelch:

where memories go by Sally Magnusson, while not cheerful and hopefully a little dated for progress,
has many personal dementia recountings that can help with what to try and what to avoid.

Even in a good hospice facility, my Mom needed someone at night because she got very scared.

Best wishes to your dad and to all of those who love him.

>142 weird_O: Thanks, Bill. Much appreciated.

>141 m.belljackson: Thanks, Marianne. Right now I'm capable of reading sci-fi and fantasy, and that's it. (My homework is medical records and care service materials). My brain says no to anything more challenging. But I appreciate the tip for later

He will have people he knows visiting him in hospice, and we can arrange for someone if he gets scared. Right now his fears are directly physical, rather than that kind.

>140 NarratorLady: Isn't that photo yummy, Anne?

He does appreciate my being here, and listens to me when he's giving everyone else trouble. Getting him from his old bed to his fancier new one via wheelchair was a dramatic event today, but we did it and he adapted quickly to the new one by conking out. :-)

Hi Joe! Wishing you the best with the dad/hospice journey. Parent care is hard!

Thanks, Rhonda. It is!

Well I think 'conking out' is a good review for a new bed. Hope he feels refreshed today Joe.

Me, too, Caroline. He’s starting to eat a bit again, so we’ll see. He sure seems to like the new bed.

Morning, Joe. Thanks for the updates. Glad your Dad is eating a bit. I think this is always a good sign. Glad you are staying by his side.

It looks to be very hot the next couple of days. We are attending a graduation party, later this afternoon and then hanging with friends tomorrow and probably hitting a brewery. Grins...

I'm glad the new bed is working for your Dad...that extra bit of physical comfort could make a big difference in his outlook.

>143 jnwelch:

Things can go awry at night - my Mom tried to crawl out of her bed and fell.

Bed had to be lowered to floor for the rest of her stay.

Might be good to keep in mind if your Dad decides he wants to leave!

Thinking about you, your family and your Dad, Joe.

>148 msf59:. Thanks, Mark. We made a lot of progress today on helping him, and he’s having a much better day than yesterday.

It’s very hot here. I did get out for a walk in the park. Have a good time at the graduation party and hanging out. I do think that a brewery is one of the best places to hang out on a hot day. 😀

>149 laytonwoman3rd:. Thanks, Linda. We also set up the bed in his big open living room, so he’s in a nice space and it’s easier to help him. So far so good. He is sleeping well in it, and it has improved his outlook.

>151 DeltaQueen50:. Thank you, Judy. I appreciate it.

So many people in my general age group are taking care of their parents right now. It’s a challenge. As my sister and I were discussing, there is rarely a “good” choice, there’s just trying to find the best possible choice under the circumstances.

A few years ago my father said to me, “Now you get to be the parent and I get to be the child.” My first thought, honestly, was “I already have children. I don’t need another one.” But that’s just the way it works. It helps that he’s quite the lovable guy.

Hi Joe, sorry to hear about your dad mate but he is your priority at the moment mate and we will keep your thread warm and await when you can get back on and posting. Sending love and hugs to you, Debbi and the all the family mate and your dad is in our thoughts and prayers and hope everything gets sorted for him.

Hi Joe, I hope you get your dad settled in again in his own home. Yes, to a good bed, and sleeping well.

>154 johnsimpson: Thanks, John. Step by step we're getting him sorted. Thanks for the love and hugs and all the support.

>155 EllaTim: Many thanks, Ella. He had a good day yesterday, and I'm seeing another nurse (his hospice team nurse) this morning to help figure out his circumstances and our strategy.

For fans of the Simpsons show

Street art

Do they paint those on mats so they last. Such a lot of effort otherwise.

Hey Joe, catching up a bit here:

>4 jnwelch: Awe! what a nice pic of your sibs!

My goodness, a lot going on with your dad. With your siblings beside you, good medical care for you dad and as long as he's comfortable, you're in a good spot right now. Sending cyber strength for the tough times.

>158 jnwelch: Coolest of the cool street art!

>159 Caroline_McElwee: I've wondered how they make them last, Caroline - maybe a fixative? - and how they protect them from overuse by people, but maybe a fixative finish takes care of that, too.

>160 Carmenere: Thanks re the sibs photo, Lynda. One lives in Montana and one in Pittsburgh, so it's always great when we can get together.

Unfortunately, they can't be with me for the latest Dad episode. One is in Alaska on vacation and we're trying to keep her out of the worry zone, and the other is in Montana tied up teaching intensive yoga workshops that were lined up a year ago. I'm on the phone a lot with the latter.

Isn't >158 jnwelch: a blast?

>137 jnwelch: Beautiful!

>157 jnwelch: Whenever I see the Blue Jays catcher Russell Martin with his hat off I think of Sideshow Bob


Hope things are going well with your Dad, and hope you are getting a little downtime too!

Morning, Joe. Happy Memorial Day. Glad your Dad had a good day yesterday. I hope he is continuing to do well.

Are you still leaving tomorrow?

>162 ChelleBearss: - LOL, Chelle! I think Martin's hair is a perm and a new one, at that. I have never seen his hair like that until the other day!

Love that street art, Joe, in >158 jnwelch:.

Sounds like each day is bringing some positive stuff. Good signs

I'm glad that your father is settling in, Joe. I'm halfway through a visit with my parents, and thankfully they are both doing much better.

>157 jnwelch: Love it!

I understand that Lisbon has a rich collection of street and outdoor art. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled and take and post photos of what I find, including this work outside of this hostel:

Shuddering, I think I'd give that hostel a miss Darryl.

Hi Joe!

I've missed all the drama with your father. I'm glad to hear that he's back home, has a new bed, is getting some good sleep, and is eating some.

It's never easy with an elderly parent, but it sounds like you are doing a fine job taking care of your dad. He's lucky to have you and your siblings, even if they aren't directly participating this time.

I can certainly understand light reading while dealing with medical records and hospice/facility materials.

Take good care of yourself, too, while taking care of your dad.

>143 jnwelch:

Joe - sending wishes that Memorial Day brings fun and relaxation with you and your Dad.

In line with the Magnusson book, with music and singing,
you are already doing the best of what Oliver Sacks revealed!

Sending best wishes for your father Joe. My mother is about the same age and her mobility has definitely deceased a lot over the past year. It is difficult to know what to do for the best isn’t it?

I hope that things are working out well for your dad, Joe, so that you will feel comfortable leaving him when you go home.

>162 ChelleBearss: Ha! I don't know this Blue Jay, Chelle, but I can sure see the connection with Sideshow Bob.

Not much downtime, but things turned out as well as I could've hoped, particularly after a rough start.

>165 kidzdoc: Thanks, Darryl. I've been following your visit with your folks, and I loved your mom saying she's not a bum, she was just waiting for coffee and breakfast to be ready! LOL!

>163 msf59: Happy Memorial Day, Mark. Big day to remember those who have fallen.

It's looking like Mr. Dad is never going to get back to where he was before this last hospital visit, but otherwise he's doing reasonably well. Long, long story, but we met with the nurse this morning and got him into the hospice we wanted, that initially had said he wasn't "qualified". Beautiful building, people dedicated to his enjoyment of life and comfort, who will take great care of him. His caregivers can visit, his PT guys can visit, he gets music therapy and pet therapy (visiting dogs), and there are plenty of folks who can handle his immobile big guy physical situation. A little sad, but also a little great. A big relief for yours truly. We were working hard to find him a new home now that his care has become so difficult, and we got him into our #1, somehow, after initially having the door shut on us.

We had a nearly four hour meeting with Nurse Karen. Whew. Super productive. Meds adjusted, needs delineated, what makes him mad and what makes him glad, why he's wonderful and worth it. Bless her for coming on Memorial Day.

Yes, I head home tomorrow. Phew. My one sister is giddy with happiness that this worked, and we'll have to break the new normal to the other at the end of the week when she gets back from Alaska.

Thanks for the great update, Joe. Glad your Dad, is in a promising facility. It sounds perfect. I wish him all the luck in the world. Hooray for Nurse Karen.

Good luck on your return home tomorrow.

>164 jessibud2: Hi, Shelley. Lucky Martin that he can take on a new Sideshow Bob hairdo. I'd try it, but I'd need Sideshow Bob to go with the Mr. Clean look first.

Great street art, right?

This day was intense but extremely positive. I think we have him squared away, or sorted, as John would say. He's waitlisted no. 2, and they say he might be in as early as tomorrow. We've got him covered at home until it happens.

>165 kidzdoc: I forgot say that I'm with Caroline, Darryl; I'm avoiding that particular street art.

>166 Caroline_McElwee: Joining your shudder and giving it a miss, Caroline. Meet you at the coffee shop down the block.

>167 karenmarie: Hi, Karen. Thanks. More developments with my dad described above. Fingers crossed.

Yeah, my reading would float away if it were any lighter. Ink and Bone right now, and I'm near the end. Pretty good; the ending will weigh heavily for me. A good ending will make the book.

>168 m.belljackson: Thanks, Marianne. I can't say today was fun and relaxing, but it was rewarding. Besides the good developments up above, I had some good time chatting with him again. Poor guy. Man, I know he wishes it was all easier.

Good to hear re the Oliver Sacks book. The nurse was delighted to hear about his musical background, and believes he's really going to love the musical therapy. She got a kick out of learning that his physical therapist plays the bongos with him.

>169 SandDune: Hi, Rhian. My sympathy re your mother. It is so difficult, isn't it? His physical therapist asked if I was sure we wanted to go this hospice route, out of the house, and I said, "No, I'm not sure." I told him how tough the decision-making was, but what we saw ahead for him. We're trying to make his last stretch as happy and comfortable as we can. It is so darn complicated. But his caregivers and we family folks are all aligned in believing this is the best choice. I wish he could contribute, but he's no longer in a position to do that. We've kept him in the house for a long, long time, and hoped to do it to the end, but that ain't the way it's going to be.

>170 Familyhistorian: Thanks, Meg. I guess the answer is yes. My dad's situation is taken care of six ways to Sunday, with an experience ahead of him that we're actually excited about. We'll see. I'm going home knowing there's nothing more I can do here, and that's as good as it gets.

Joe, you have accomplished so much in the short time you've been there. Real strides and positive steps and it sounds like you have a terrific team all around you to make it work. Have you ever read Atul Gawande's Being Mortal? He talks a lot about the quality of life and decision-making based on just that. Exactly what you and your sisters and the team are doing. Your dad is a lucky guy and I am sure, in his own way, he knows that.

Any chance you, your son and grandson can make it out there for that photo shoot at some point? How is the little one doing?

Safe travels home, Joe

>179 jessibud2: Thanks, Shelley. Yes, my sisters and I all read Being Mortal. It has had a major influence on how we've handled my Dad's situation, and I'm glad you think what we've been doing matches up well with it. Such a wonderful book. I coincidentally identified it today on Facebook as one of my favorite books - I'm identifying a favorite every day for a week. (Yesterday was The Frozen Thames).

The four gen's of guy Welches: we're hoping to make that photo happen in August. Little Rafa is doing great. He's a month and two weeks old tomorrow, if I've got it right. He is amazing one and all with his physical tricks, lifting his feet and grabbing things with his hands, even though he's been around such a short time. As far as we can tell, he remains the most perfect baby ever, in a club with Chelle's and others. :-)

I think I'm going to take a big deep breath for the whole train trip home. This has been quite a journey over the last several days.

>173 msf59: Oh you adept LTer, Mark. I didn't see your post slide in there. Thanks. Nurse Karen was a sweetheart. I'm going to call her boss tomorrow to praise her. It's so easy to criticize, but Debbi has taught me the importance of conveying praise when it's warranted.

Thanks re the trip tomorrow. It should be relaxing, and I usually get good reading done on the train.

I'm so glad things have come together for your dad Joe. I hope his move runs smoothly. It sounds like most people's dream outcome, under the circumstances.

Being Mortal is certainly a great book.

I hope you enjoy a little mental downtime on your journey home.

>158 jnwelch: I used to watch a TV show about people who made these artworks. It was always so fun to see it revealed. Aren't they marvellous!?

>183 LovingLit: They are amazing, aren't they, Megan. I've never seen a TV show about it; I'm sure it was fascinating. You need that big vision before you even start, and then the ability to pull it off - so great.

In honor of Dr. Jim

>185 jnwelch: That is quite cool!!

Glad that you were able to get your dad into your #1 spot. Safe trip home!

Hi Joe! So glad to hear that things are sorted out - a sad transition to be sure but the best solution for your dad. Congrats on getting him into your #1 choice, and bless Nurse Karen.

>174 jnwelch: Ah. Sorry that you and Caroline aren't fond of that huge bumblebee. I like it, provided that it isn't buzzing loudly or flying.

>186 ChelleBearss: Isn't that cool, Chelle? Thanks. He got off the waitlist and goes in today! We're very pleased. The best would be if he got up and started walking around and got back mentally to his old self, but this is pretty darn good.

>187 karenmarie: Thanks, Karen. I now have social worker Karen, who was wonderful, to bless as well as Nurse Karen (and LT friend Karen!)

They've got a bed (his own nice private room), and he's heading over around noon ET today. So great.

>188 kidzdoc: You're much more tolerant than Caroline or me, Darryl. We both look so much like flowers, it feels dangerous.

>189 jnwelch: 😂

>70 jnwelch: That may be my favorite image of all time.

>185 jnwelch: And loving it!

>190 kidzdoc:. 😀

>191 EBT1002:. Isn’t that >70 jnwelch: image nicely done, Ellen? I love it, too,

>192 drneutron:. 😄

Bargain of the day: Barry Hannah’s excellent short story collection Airships is available on Kindle today for $1.99.

Jardins de Castillon, France

>194 jnwelch: Done.

>194 jnwelch: Ha! Oh good, Ellen. Can't wait to hear what you think.

By the way, Joe, I have been somewhat keeping up with what is happening with your dad, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and hoping things go as well as possible.
xo

Dad update: he's liking the hospice, I'm glad to report. The staff are all really personable and knowledgeable, including the doctor - as his caregiver says, they all want to be there. He's got a nice room, with a good view outside which includes a nursery school playground - perfect!

One revelation - they felt pain was an issue for him, even though he said otherwise. They gave him a small amount of Roxinol (morphine), and suddenly everything got better. He has been in better spirits, with more alert periods, and generally his life has improved.

I'm saying more than I usually would about a family issue because I imagine there are cafe patrons who are going through something similar, or will be.

The lesson from this one: I wish I had said to the nurse, might he be in pain, even though he says otherwise, and might that be affecting his behavior? I think the answer to both probably would have been yes. The doctor said it is common for the elderly to be stoic about pain, and my dad may have thought the way he was feeling was "normal." It probably led to his sleeping a lot more, both from exhaustion from the pain, and from a desire to escape the pain through sleep.

When we would move him to clean him up after a bm, he would get very angry and aggressive. I couldn't figure out why - he also seemed very scared that he would fall off the bed, which rationally was not an issue. Now I think we were hurting him (making the pain worse) by moving him, even with gentleness. His caregiver agrees.

He did say he slept on a bunk in his ship in the Navy during WWII, and then he fell off (whether he really did fall off or not, who knows). When he was lucid (which he was sometimes) he said he did agree that that might be part of why he was scared of falling off the bed.

OK, enough from me on this. The news from the hospice is all good right now. That makes me happy. I made a point of telling him over and over, before going, what we were doing (admitting him to the hospice residence) and why (he's a big guy who wouldn't (couldn't) move and needed an overage of home help). He hates having people make decisions about him without his participation, but that has become more necessary as he hits the big age numbers.

>198 EBT1002: Thanks, Ellen. My dad's situation has taken a good turn, all things considered. Thank you for your support. Besides appreciating all the support, I thought my writing some about it, and the lessons I'm learning, might be useful to folks. For example, I'm now a huge fan of hospice. I wish all our medical experiences were more like this.

>199 jnwelch: it is so hard when they have most of their marbles Joe, and have retained independence into older age. They don't like to be a bother, they accept this is what happens at their age. My dad was in more pain than before for 10 months to a year before he would finally admit it. When you asked him, he would say, 'no point complaining' as if he should put up with it.

We need to remember all this as we get older, and be more amenable to help rather than suffering unnecessarily.

So glad he is settling in and more comfortable now. A big relief to you all too.

>199 jnwelch: - Sounds good, Joe and taking it one day at a time, for now, is probably the best plan. And for now, it seems that things are falling into place exactly as hoped for. Thanks also, for sharing as I think you are probably right that you are paving the way for others here (myself included, though hopefully not to that extent for some time yet).

Repeatedly telling him what is going on, what decisions have been made and what is happening, is a great idea. The reinforcement certainly can't hurt. I have heard that dementia (especially Alzheimers though not exclusively), is like a brick wall: the most recent memories (and probably other info, as well), were the last bricks to go onto the wall and the first to fall off. The oldest memories, the foundation, such as childhood and in your dad's case, WWII, are the ones most ingrained and the last to disappear. When I heard that analogy, it really made sense to me.

Good luck and wishing more better days ahead for all.

By the way, since you mentioned that he enjoys music, have you ever seen the film Alive Inside? It is an astounding film, and one of the few I actually purchased.

Here is a clip. And yes, that is Oliver Sacks speaking in the clip, among others:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=NKDXuCE7LeQ

Loved that clip Shelley. Wonderful to see Oliver Sacks too, I'm a big fan.

>199 jnwelch: I am glad you found such a nice place for your dad, Joe.
Pain is often an issue, my mother has similair problems and is in a nursery home. Her good and bad days are clearly related to the pain.

>201 Caroline_McElwee: Thanks, Caroline. Yeah, your dad sounds like mine. It's a bit frustrating that he didn't know or didn't let us know what was going on painwise, and you're right, hopefully we'll be more straightforward about it all when we get there.

You're right, his present situation is a big relief. I felt it would work well, but you never know for sure.

>202 jessibud2: Hi, Shelley. I know what others have said on LT in various contexts has helped me, and I'm sure I got my first tip to read Being Mortal on here. Some experiences are singular, but others are shared, and this seems like one many of us are likely to deal with, one way or another.

Right, keeping him informed on what's happening has been important, even though his memory doesn't retain much any more. The nurse said something interesting that struck me as probably true - my dad will remember feelings even if he doesn't remember information. He'll remember if you scold him (we don't), and he'll remember the feeling of our trying to keep him informed and participating in what's happening in his life. And sometimes repetition does help the information sink in.

Anecdote: When he was more with it, but still much less than what he once was, I was explaining a document he needed to sign to him. He said, "I'm not going to remember what's in this." I said, "That's okay. I'll remember what's in it for you. You just need to understand it well enough to feel comfortable signing it now." So we talked it through and he signed. We got all his important doc's lined up and signed while he was competent - health power of attorney, financial power of attorney, DNR, and so on - which I sure recommend doing. It's made everything easier. We also gave his caregiver, whom we trust completely, a health power of attorney (short of life and death decisions, which need us), so that she could deal effectively with his doctors when we weren't there.

Yes, he remembered WWII long after many other memories disappeared. When he's being uncooperative because he's scared, I still remind him he was a brave Navy man in WWII! It usually helps.

I don't know Alive Inside. I'll check out the clip.

One last thought: our pre-K teaching daughter often compares what I now go through with my dad with what she goes through teaching 3 year olds. There are a surprising number of similarities.

>203 Caroline_McElwee: I'll check out that clip, Caroline. I'm also an Oliver Sacks fan.

>204 FAMeulstee: Thanks, Anita. We feel very good about the facility he's in, and everything has been as positive as we hoped so far. I'm sorry your mother faces those pain issues; I'm sure effective treatment improves her day.

>202 jessibud2: I enjoyed that clip of Alive Inside; thanks, Shelley. The power of music - I love it. Amazing the effect on him.

My father was a very stout man, one of those who was built very square, even though he was not fat. When he was dying of cancer, moving him about became an issue. He was not aggressive but the nurses simply had a hard time moving him, so he spent too much of his day in bed. The hospital had equipment but using it was so time consuming and frustrating for him. His size was also an issue when we wanted to move him home for the last days. The hospital simply said no. I will always regret that he died in a hospital with no window in the room. For a man who spent his whole life outside, it was not a good thing. But he knew and we knew we had done our best. Sometimes size does matter. I think about this because I have relatives who are 6'5" and weigh 250 pounds. I come from a whole family of sizeable people and it isn't going to be easy down the road.

Along with this line of thinking. Nurses have one of the highest rates of back injury of any profession. A recent study determined that hospitals are often at fault because they refuse to invest in equipment to move patients due to the expense. It says something to me about hospitals when they are willing to risk healthy people getting injured and not invest in equipment.

>207 jnwelch: I can sympathize with your situation with your father, Benita. The mechanical lift we were given to use with my dad at home was ridiculous - it depended on us wrestling him from the bed into a sling. I wouldn't have been comfortable with it with a cooperative parent; putting an elderly person in a sling and trying not to have him/her lose balance seems like such a bad idea. I put it out in the garage asap. :-) Your story of hospitals avoiding investing in lift equipment, and the lousy design of the lift I've seen, makes it sound like there's an opportunity for someone to make some money doing better.

I'm sorry to hear that you wanted your father at home, but he died in the hospital. My mother died of cancer in the U of Michigan hospital, but they at least had a beautiful hospice room that they moved her into. It was big enough for many family members to comfortably sit around her bed as she passed.

We are so happy to have our dad in the hospice now, in a nice room with a good view outside. Facilities vary, of course, and there were three non-hospices that we would not consider, but generally the attitude is so much better at hospices for end of life, from what I've learned and experienced.

>205 jnwelch: - Your anecdote about your dad's memory was interesting and a good one, Joe. I recently read a book, a memoir by one of Canada's beloved singer/song-writers, Jann Arden. Her book, Feeding My Mother, was about her becoming her mother's caretaker as her mom fell into Alzheimers. I remember one anecdote specifically that Jann mentioned. She asked her mother once if she would remember her. In a lucid moment, her mom said, her head might forget but her heart never would. What you said about *feelings*

>207 jnwelch: - If you have an opportunity to find and watch the whole film, Alive Inside is really an excellent one.

Happy Wednesday, Joe. Glad you are home and getting back into your groove. Glad your Dad is comfortable, in his hospice care. I hope this continues. I appreciate the updates. Not sure how it was in the city, but it was hot & muggy here. Yuck! At least it is supposed to cool off for the weekend.

I am surprised how much I am enjoying A Higher Loyalty and I owe it all to Nancy. Comey was just fired and Drumph, didn't even have the decency to tell Comey properly. He heard it on the news. Aren't we lucky ducks for having this man in our highest office? Ugh!

>210 jessibud2: I've made a mental note about Alive Inside, Shelley. Thanks for bringing it up.

Yes, that nurse's comment about the elderly remembering feelings really stuck with me. The heart remembers, as Jann Arden's mother said.

>211 msf59: Happy Wednesday, Mark. Thanks. Things are starting to get back to normal after that fire drill.

Yeah, it was warmer out than I expected. I've been trying to get a lot of walking in, but it was challenging today. In Ann Arbor I was walking off the stress in 95 degrees; that shirt sure needs laundering. :-)

I'm glad Higher Loyalty is coming through for you. Wish I had a good book recommendation for you - in the GN area, the second Lady Killer was another good (if bloody) one from Joelle Jones, and I'm liking the latest series from Brubaker and Sean Phillips, Kill or Be Killed.

So glad to read that your dad's care is being managed so carefully Joe. The discussion about emotions and feelings when memory is slipping hit a chord with me, as I just watched a fascinating documentary last night where toddlers visited a dementia day centre. The experts managing the project talked about how the 'older adults' might not even remember the children they interacted with (dancing, blowing bubbles, even in one case enjoying a drive in a vintage car) but the impact of the positive feelings remained. I'd not thought of that before, and it was so powerfully demonstrated in the doc.

Morning, Joe! I've missed the news on your dad until now, being wrapped up in my own busy world at the moment, but it looks like he's in good hands at this point, which is good news. Thinking about you both.

>213 charl08: - Charlotte, what was the name of that documentary? I am a member of a doc cinema here in Toronto and would love to see that one. My theatre is where I first saw Alive Inside.

>209 jnwelch: I'm glad you feel at ease with the care facility you found for your father, Joe. Having been responsible for my elderly uncle for 6 years after he suffered a traumatic brain injury and lost his wife in an auto accident, I know that there is a vast difference in quality and even attitude from one "home" to another. My uncle went from skilled nursing to assisted living to memory care and then to skilled nursing again briefly before he passed away in February. His most serious problem was recurring falls. As time passed and he got more frail, he simply could not remember that he was unable to stand up and walk on his own. Each move was difficult for him, and it would have been so much better if he could have been placed somewhere that could have accommodated his changing needs for the entire time. You've done your Dad a very big favor.

#209
You described the situation with the sling accurately. It was an embarrassing and humiliating event for him, so he got so he just didn't like it at all. Add to that he had that "metal mouth" symptom from the chemotherapy and got so he didn't want to drink water or juices. The hospital never told us or him that this was caused by the chemotherapy. I learned that on my own while doing some reading on health care after he died. It is a whole lot of work to keep yourself informed about what is going on around you in the hospital because it seems to me that you don't get much help from the professionals. At least you don't in far west rural Kansas and Nebraska. Although I do have to say that the Mary Lanning Hospital in Hastings, Nebraska is an exception. That hospital staff was on the ball and very helpful when my cousin was dying of cancer. They were just a fountain of information, but you did have to ask. They didn't volunteer that information.

>213 charl08: Thanks, Charlotte. All reports are good again today, and his main caregiver told us how relieved she is by his current situation. He was watching the nursery school kids and a puppy this morning.

What a fire drill that was. Everything changed very quickly for him, and they're still not sure why. Best guess is that one of the little strokes he has had periodically (TIAs) finally hit a major brain connection.

Isn't that interesting about remembered feelings? It does make sense, doesn't it. I'm glad the documentary captured that.

>214 scaifea: Thanks, Amber. Yes, you've been a bit busy. :-) Congrats again on the perfectly located and most excellent new house.

>215 jessibud2: I hope Charlotte swings back by with an answer about the name of the documentary, Shelley.

>216 laytonwoman3rd: Thanks, Linda. I feel like we have done our Dad a big favor. It took a lot of scrambling research work and phone calls and meetings, but it was worth it. He's in a really good place now.

I'm sorry to hear that your uncle had those problems with standing up and falling. The brain connections just break down, don't they. When we asked my Dad why he couldn't walk (he's plenty strong enough), he said, "I can't solve it." He has the muscles, but his brain can no longer tell them what to do. Sounds like your poor uncle additionally couldn't remember that his brain could no longer "solve it."

>217 benitastrnad: Oh, that's tough, Benita. I'm sorry to hear about both the sling and the metal mouth. We know the problem of not being told enough by the medical staff; we always try to think of every possible question to ask, but sometimes we don't know enough to even ask the right question. I do perceive that younger doctors and nurses have been given more emphasis on "people skills" in their schooling, and I've read that is the intention. I wish every doctor was like our LTer friend Darryl, but of course, it doesn't work out that way.

Joe, that is so generous of you to share your personal story about the compassionate handling of tough decisions. My mother did much better in a nursing facility under Hospice care than she did at home. I’m glad your dad is getting pain relief and has the chance to watch children and dogs at play. He is lucky to have a son like you. I am sending calm vibes to your entire family. ❤️

>222 Donna828: Thanks, Donna. Good to hear re your mother did better under Hospice care, too. Such a tough call. Yeah, this seems like a topic that affects so many of us. My Dad had a really good day yesterday. Fingers crossed that continues. I appreciate the calm vibes for the family! We're doing pretty well. It helps that we're not fractious and tend to see the issues the same way.

>199 jnwelch: Thanks for that very useful message about your father's pain, Joe, and for the information about hospice care. I'm glad that he's settling in nicely, and that you and your family are in agreement about his care plan.

My family and neighbors were all concerned that my parents might need to go into an assisted living facility later this year. Fortunately my mother has improved dramatically since her adrenal gland was removed four weeks ago, and now that she has been provided with a CPAP machine she is sleeping well, not having night terrors, and her daytime confusion has resolved. Her memory is much better, although it's nowhere near what it was two years ago, but she is certainly making progress. My father is physically more frail than he has ever been, and for the first time he looks old to me, but he should be able to get his driver's license back in the next week or two, which will make it easier for him to resume regular activities and routines. He did mow their lawn twice in the past week with a hand held electric mower, and helped a neighbor and I with outdoor maintenance, as did my mother, so they remain relatively active as compared to other octogenarians.

>224 kidzdoc: I'm glad this is useful, Darryl. I thought it might be. I'm so glad the adrenal gland surgery was successful and had such a profound effect on your mother. My dad rejected the CPAP machine before 20 minutes had passed, which we kind of expected. But he accepted the cannula tubes to get oxygen into his nose, and that's helped. Even though he somehow got his drivers license renewed, we had to talk him out of driving when he got into his 90s - he was a danger to himself and others.

I hope your parents continue to do well. Everyone's different. Debbi's Uncle Milt, whom we all adored, was the same age as my dad before he passed away at 93, and was as sharp mentally as ever. I wish my dad could've kept more of that, but we're lucky to still have him.

Happy Friday, Joe. I know we have been chatting on other venues but I hope you are having a good one and have a nice weekend planned. I am enjoying Less and I might even wrap it up tomorrow.

>218 jnwelch: It's this one: perhaps it will pop up on a BBc international channel?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p067wqcs

Happy weekend, Joe! Hope you find some time to relax and recharge after your time helping your dad!

>199 jnwelch: Thanks for sharing, Joe. I'm glad the pain issue got figured out for your dad. It's an interesting thing, aging, and thinking about it just being hard for him to fully communicate what he is experiencing and what he needs. I'm glad he's settling in and liking the new environment. I'm a fan of hospice, having seen their care for my MIL in her last months and one of my dearest friends who died of a brain tumor a couple of years ago. Comfort and a sense of security matter and hospice seems good at providing both.

My FIL is having heart surgery this Wednesday. It's a "minor" procedure (not open-heart) but still worrisome with a 96-year-old. Still, the docs are optimistic and say there is a good chance it will make him more comfortable for however many years he has left.

>221 jnwelch: Beautiful! I love lavender and kind of want to visit Provence when the fields are all in bloom. I mean, I'd like to visit Provence again any time of the year, but lavender season seems particularly appealing.

In books, I'm about to read A Purple Place for Dying. I'm also on the sixth essay in We Were Eight Years in Power which is just so excellent.

Keep taking good care, Joe.

Good to hear that your Dad is now set up in the facility that you wanted for him. I am sure that is a load off your mind. You have been through a lot this year. Maybe it is time to just relax and regroup for a while.

>226 msf59: Hiya, Mark. I've been a little slow getting to the cafe. It's been a nice weekend so far. We had that yard sale/book sale yesterday, and Becca made some good dough to spend at Printer's Row litfest, a yearly tradition (sell books, buy books!)

Today we're taking it easy, although going to a movie may be in the works. I'm glad you're enjoying Less: A Novel. What a pleasant and surprising pick for a Pulitzer.

>227 charl08: How interesting, Charlotte. Thanks for the link. I know how the elderly perk up with pets like dogs. How intriguing to think about connecting those with dementia with toddlers. And that fits with the similarities our daughter sees between 3 year olds and my dad with dementia. Hopefully the documentary will show up stateside.

>228 ChelleBearss: Thanks, Chelle. You got it; that's what I'm doing. After our book sale, I conked out for a long deep nap yesterday, a rarity for me. Both sisters are now with him, so that helps.

>229 EBT1002: Hi, Ellen. Good to hear your positive experiences with hospice. So far so good with the pater familias. Both sisters are now with him, so I'll hear more about how it's going.

Amazing what they can do now with surgery for the elderly. Sending good wishes to your FIL - that's the best reason to do it, improving his life at 96.

I'm a pushover for lavender meself, as you can tell. I'd love to see a field of it like this, and I'd love to see Provence.

Travis McGee - hurrah! I still can't read anything challenging like Eight Years in Power, but it sounds so good. I can't wait until I'm back in fighting trim for the tougher books. I'm reading the next (for me) Ruth Galloway mystery, The Woman in Blue, and slowly making my way through the very good but fact-dense Jane Austen at Home.

>230 Familyhistorian: It is a relief to have him safely situated in a good facility, Meg, thanks. You're right; my bod/mind is saying it's time to relax and regroup. We're keeping it simple for the time being, and even gave our tickets to a good play (Waiting for Godot) to some friends. We're about to walk for coffee/chai, and we have a few things to take care of, but otherwise it's going to be a very low key day.

By Marie Desbons

Morning, Joe! Happy Sunday. Looks like a gorgeous June day. We have various chores to do, so I don't think I will get out for a stroll. We are camping in MI, next weekend, so there are plenty of things to get ready for that too.

Have a good day, my friend.

>235 jnwelch: This is lovely, have just been looking at her website. The recurring book theme makes it even more tempting.

Your description of your plans for a quiet day sounds ideal.

I've watched / read a few things about attempts to link young children and older adults. Some of our local playgroups have visiting schemes with a local home, and one of the papers looked at schemes in France where the children's nursery is permanently based in the same building (apparently problems when the children 'graduate' and are terribly missed by the community, but in other ways lots of positives), and was taken up by a doc company in Bristol, with amazing results.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm2z5468htA
This was the first one I'd seen where the focus was on dementia though. Hope they might make it internationally. As one of the experts said, kids benefit from the time given, as well as the adults.

>233 jnwelch: Welcome home Joe. So glad to hear your Dad's doing better and in your sisters' care. That certainly was a well deserved nap! I too am reading and enjoying Jane Austen at Home, easy to put down and pick up again. Worsley is an excellent writer and does bring Jane to life very effectively.

Waiting for me at the library is Jonathan Harr's The Lost Painting: The Quest for a Caravaggio Masterpiece. Harr's only other book is the excellent A Civil Action and I somehow missed this one which was a 2005 NYT notable book. Seems I'm on a non-fiction tear these days. Enjoy the sunshine!

>236 msf59: Happy Sunday, Mark. It's a beaut. We did get a stroll in, but some chores are on our agenda, too. Hopefully some porch time, too. How cool that you're camping in MI next weekend. I hope the good weather continues for you.

>237 charl08: Isn't Marie Desbons' work interesting, Charlotte? Here's another one:



I love this idea of connecting the young and the old. I'll circle back and look at the youtube video. I can imagine the kids as well as the oldsters benefiting.

>238 NarratorLady: Thanks, Anne. I love that we're both reading Jane Austen at Home. It's going to take a while for me, in my current slowpokiness. You're right, Worsley's an excellent writer, and I'm enjoying it. It is an easy one to pick up and put down, thank goodness.

I really enjoyed The Lost Painting when I read it. Fascinating story. I hope it works well for you.

We're enjoying the sunshine, and I hope you're able to do some of the same.

Isn't Worsley an interesting writer? I enjoyed her The Art of the English Murder.

>242 jnwelch: Hi, Meg. She is - this is the first I've read by her, but I'm pretty sure our daughter loved The Art of English Murder. I've added that one to the WL.

Artist unknown

Hi Joe!

I'm so glad to hear how well your dad is doing in hospice and with some pain meds.

Have a good day!

>244 karenmarie: Hi Karen!

Thanks a lot. He's had some good moments, even playing the harmonica a bit.

I hope you have a good day yourownself.

>241 Familyhistorian: >242 jnwelch: I'd never heard of Lucy Worsley before but The Art of the English Murder sounds intriguing. Apparently she "presents" (read "hosts") history programs for the BBC so I'm sure my British relatives know who she is.

Thanks, Anne. I hope we get some of her hosted history programs over here. From what I've seen in the Guardian, she's very highly regarded.

Things have taken a turn the wrong way for my poor father, so I'm heading back to Ann Arbor. I probably won't be on LT for a while.

Oh, sorry to hear that, Joe. Take care.

Oh, no. I'm very sorry to hear that, Joe. He, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Calm wishes, Joe. Hang in there. Are your sisters still there, too?

Oh no. My best wishes for your family and especially your dad.

So sorry to read about your dad Joe, sending thoughts and prayers from both of us mate and we are thinking of you all at this time.

Sorry to hear about your dad Joe. Best wishes to all.

Holding you and your dad in my thoughts Joe.

Sorry, to hear about your Dad, Joe. Hopefully, you are there now. Keep us updated, when you can.

Wishing Peace to you, your Dad and your Family.

Hoping for the best for all of you during this difficult time, Joe! (((((joe and debbi)))))

Oh, Joe, I'm sorry about your dad. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and in my heart.

Sorry to see about your dad. Sending good thoughts your way. Safe travels!

Goddess walk with you, Joe and with your Dad.

Thank you, everyone. He’s pretty weak, and we only get him lucid intermittently, but there are good moments. What made us very happy is our son and his wife dropped everything and came so that Dad could meet his great-grandson Rafa. That happened before we were able to arrive, but we’re all going back over soon so he can spend more time with baby Rafa.

>262 jnwelch: - I'm sure that's the best medicine for him right now, Joe! Maybe he's not *photo* ready for that 4-generation pic, but knowing that they are all together is excellent and, I'm sure, very meaningful for you all.

{{hugs}}

>245 jnwelch: "...even playing the harmonica a bit." Awesome.

>248 jnwelch: Ack, and then I saw this. I'm so sorry, Joe. I'm sending you and your family virtual hugs. xoxox

If you can't squeeze everyone in for a photo, it would be great to see Great-Granddad and Rafa!

Sorry to read about your dad, Joe.
Nice your son and his wife took little Rafa to his great-granddad, I hope meeting his great-grandson lightens his spirits.

>262 jnwelch: that will bring him joy in lucid moments Joe, and there will be photos for Rafa when he is older and told stories about that special guy.

Oh, sorry to read that your Dad has taken a turn, Joe. Hopefully having his family around will help.

>184 jnwelch: and, from the wrong angle, it is all wrong! :)

And now I too see news of your father. I hope you get to spend some time with him, and can comfort and support him. I'm sure he will take comfort in having his family near by, and especially the newest member. Babies always inject some lightheartedness into tough times. Take care!

Sorry to hear the news about your dad, Joe. But so good you are together as a family. Sending you support!

Oh, it's wonderful that Rafa is there, too. You've got such a great family, Joe. Big hugs to you all, friend.

Rough day, which is common after a “rally day” like yesterday. Today he’s just plain tuckered out. We’re all so glad he had that great day yesterday. The doctor thinks he’ll be entering the final stretch soon. We’re probably talking days left, maybe up to two weeks. Vets (he’s one) are known to generally hang on longer, she says, so we’ll see.

Thank you for all the support. It means a lot.

Thinking about you and your family, Joe. Hugs.

Oh Joe, such a rough time for you all. I hope your Dad has more days like yesterday. Having you all there is so important both for him and you. Hopefully baby Rafa is still there to delight you all.

Thanks for the updates, Joe. Sorry, your Dad had a tough one today. Maybe, he will rally again tomorrow. Glad he is surrounded with loving family. This has to give him a boost.

Continued strength to you and the family Joe. I can't think of a better thing though, than to be surrounded by loved ones.

So sorry about your dad. That is great that you can all be there with him!

I'll be using all my spare thoughts for you and your family today, Joe.

Thanks, Mark, Shelley, Rhonda and Amber, and Anne and everyone else. Sorry it’s hard to thank everyone personally right now. It’s much appreciated.

Baby Rafa had to return to Pittsburgh with his parents, but their visit meant a lot. Madame MBH, Who has a lovely voice, sang some songs from Oklahoma to my Dad, and he wanted her to continue, so she sang Someone to Watch Over Me and In My Life. I pitched in some with a less lovely voice. :-). Then I remembered one we used to sing with him when we were kids, Oh Mary Don’t You Weep Don’t You Mourn. We found the lyrics and when we sang it he got a big smile.

The doctor says the hearing is the last sense to go, so we’re continuing to talk and joke to him. He can’t respond much now, but we’ll get an occasional word or two. The doctor says it’s common to see and talk to departed loved ones like my mom at times like this, and he seems to be doing that, gazing at someone we don’t see, although we can’t hear or understand what he’s saying.

I love that you're singing to your Dad, Joe. That would seem to me to be a grand source of peace and comfort for him at this time. Have you heard Bruce Springsteen's version of "Oh Mary, Don't You Weep"? It's impossible NOT to weep, but it's a rouser, too. A link, just in case.

Sorry, Joe. I remember how tough I found it when my mother died several years ago. You seem to be weathering it well. Your dad seems to be in good hands, both medically and familially.

I am so sorry, Joe. It's just so heart breaking going through this difficult time for you and your family. God bless you all...

Joe, I'm very sorry that your father is nearing his end. I hope that it is a peaceful one, and that you can have some meaningful moments, if not days, between now and then. All of you will remain in my prayers.

Keeping you and your family in my prayers during this difficult time, Joe.

Keeping you all in my thoughts Joe. It's good that you are all there with him. Love the singing, as I'm sure he does.

Dear Joe...know that I am thinking of you as you and your family gather around your father for the long goodbye. I love the idea of singing to him. In My Life is one of my favorites. DH and I have chosen it as our song over the years. Such a sad time for you. ((Hugs))

So sorry to see your family is going through this right now. That's great that your dad was able to meet his Great Grandson though! Hang in there. You're all in my thoughts

Thinking of you and the family Joe.

The doctor says it’s common to see and talk to departed loved ones like my mom at times like this, and he seems to be doing that, gazing at someone we don’t see...
That is incredible. And comforting, I am sure, for him (and maybe you too?). These times bring such big thoughts to mind. Thanks for sharing these with us.

"A child, more than any other gifts that earth can offer to declining man, brings hope with it..." Wordsworth

I'm so sorry, Joe. Keep talking and singing, and reading out loud; hugging and holding and maybe telling your favorite stories about doing things with him and your mom and a life well lived.

I'm keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers. It seems impossible that it's been a year and a half since I was sitting with my Mom ...

Keeping you and your family in mind these days, Joe. It's so good that there are songs to share, and you and MBH there to sing them.

Thinking of you and your family- singing is good!

Just catching up with your thread. So sorry to hear about your dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong and keep on singing :)

Thank you Linda, Bill, Diane, Darryl, Micky, Caroline, Donna, Chelle, Charlotte, Megan (he's doing a lot of that gazing at folks we don't see now), Marianne, Janet, Judy, Cyrel and figs.

I'm reading all of these, and it really helps. What a group we have. I'm honored to be friends with such kind people.

He did not have a very responsive day yesterday, but his pattern has been every other day, so we'll see how today goes. I can't remember when I last checked in, but the day before last we had a great couple of hours with him, with one sister leading us in sharing memories of Cape Cod, Wellfleet, Walpole (where he grew up near Boston and his brother lived for many years, with us visiting), and a trip we all took to Mexico when I was six years old, for a month after his father died. The last included the delightful tale of how I got very sick at a rodeo we went to, and threw up on the back of the serape of the poor gentleman in front of me. Ah, good times. Dad had to handle that, and get me to a hospital, poor guy. (In case you wondered, I survived).

It's a good thing I'm mostly retired, as we're day to day. So is one sister, but the other runs a yoga business and has to figure out what to do. We've given her our blessing for going back to Montana with her hubby and doing what she has to.

I'll start a new thread.