The House of Mirth

Unrelentingly and deliciously scathing, the novel reveals the superficiality and immorality of the 1890s New York upper class through the complex character of Lily Bart as she navigates the dangerous high society version of Snakes and Ladders without the antivenom nor an anchor.

Fully realised and flawed, Lily Bart is a character of contradictions: born in and bred for wealth yet poor, frivolous and vain yet self-perceptive. Though she may have been the protagonist, the volatile, monetary-based society was the real central figure, rendering it, plot-wise, impossible for Lily to make any realistic or heart-warming-fiction choices. This attention to characterisation turns what could have been stereotypical, superfluous roles into show more substantial, recognisable human beings, such as the well-meaning, sympathetic, almost-saintly Gerty with her private hopes and anguishes - not that there were not missteps with the uncomfortable Jewish stereotype presented in the ultimately-but-not-quite generous Rosedale.

Along with the beautiful stylistic devices - the shifting third-person point-of-view has an almost stream-of-consciousness flavour to it and the metaphors exquisitely original: No insect hangs its nest on threads as frail as those which will sustain the weight of human vanity. (pg 113) -, the novel's biting wit and deft characterisation combine to make this cautionary tale of a depraved society's hand in the creation and destruction of its own product all the more sadistically captivating and delectable. show less

Not gonna lie, this book, to me felt like it did drag on in some parts, but I still give this 4.5 stars (rounded up to 5) I read The Age of Innocence by the same author a few years back, and just as with that book, this book has several pointed observations about society and its expectations, and how people - in this particular case, Lily Bart - suffer from the se expectations despite her efforts to overcome them. This is from a combination of things - the way she was raised, the machinations/jealousy of a woman she inadvertently pissed off (and who really needs to grow the fuck up!) along with a few decisions on Lily's part that she should have done differently, especially when she had a chance to make said bitchy woman back the fuck show more off but didn't.

Sure, taking the high road can be nice, but sometimes when others choose to take the low road, fighting fire with fire is sometimes the only way to defend oneself and that is what Lily should have done. Still, this story is not just about that, and with Edith Wharton's skilled pen, she provides quite a few pearls of wisdom and observations on high society and its consequences. This book was published over 100 years ago, but much of the commentary here holds true even in the 21st century. show less

4.5 Stars. First off, a sort of public service announcement for those who are new to classics, I learned the hard way a long time ago that “introductions” in classics are often littered with spoilers as is the case with the Anna Quindlen penned introduction in my copy of this one, so unless you enjoy learning every major plot point ahead of time, do yourself a favor and wait until after you read the story to read the introductions. It would be nice if publishers would ever do the readers a favor and just put these things at the back of the book where they belong.

The House of Mirth moves at a relatively slow pace, dialogue is minimal, it’s definitely more character focused than plot driven, still it rarely felt tedious and does show more have some page turning moments. Like most classics, it’s probably best to reach for this when you’re in a patient mood, when you feel more like taking your time rather than breezing through something.

Although this was written near the start of the 1800’s, in many ways the world of this story doesn’t feel as foreign or distant as you might imagine, social climbing in New York society back then doesn’t read all that different from someone clamoring for likes and follows, putting on a facade or living above their means in order to present a certain image, and we’re certainly also in an era where one misstep, or even the whisper of a misstep, whether you’re proven truly guilty of it or not can send your life into a tailspin. This is one of those books that while it takes place in a specific time period, it winds up feeling somewhat timeless thanks to how in tune the author is with how human beings tick, everyone in this story is recognizable, a person who could as believably exist now as then.

Initially, it’s tempting to write off Lily Bart as a one-dimensional socialite gold-digger archetype, the sort of person who I avoid watching on reality shows, but the fuller the picture I had of her, the more interesting she became psychologically and by the end I had came around to caring for her, too. If you want to read a female character full of complexities and contradictions, you need to meet Lily Bart, she’s can be appalling yet her moral fiber will surprise you, she’s both naive and conniving, and she’s prone to self-sabotage thanks to the tug of war inside her, torn between the material life she’s been raised to covet and a type of freedom that isn’t really available to the women who lived that lifestyle at that time.

While it was easier to like secondary characters Gerty and Nettie, I suspect Lily Bart is someone who will linger in my mind for a long time, particularly those final scenes with her. show less

9/10

"I have tried hard -- but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else. What can one do when one finds that one only fits into one hole? One must get back to it or be thrown out into the rubbish heap -- and you don't know what it's like in the rubbish heap!"

There is a displacement in the space-time continuum, Mr. Spock.

If it were not for the slightly more formal language, I might be forgiven for thinking I was still in the midst of (re)reading [b:Convenience Store Woman|38357895|Convenience Store Woman|Sayaka show more Murata|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1523623053s/38357895.jpg|51852264] -- a contemporary satire on alienation. The characters therein also announce themselves as "just a screw or a cog in the great machine"; each one finds him/herself able to fit into "only one hole". Each one, too, is "useless anywhere else". Miss Furukura, for one, is "useless" everywhere except in her convenience store. She tries for a time to escape her "one hole" existence, but, like Lily, she finds herself in the rubbish heap -- and so she scurries back to the safety of a limited existence -- but one which nonetheless provides purpose to her life.

Lily Bart finds she is "useless" everywhere except in the whirling circle of high society. Without its trappings, her life is meaningless. But sadly for Lily, she cannot find her way back into her own brand of convenience store because the gatekeepers won't have it. At some point, if one has a brain, or a heart, one transgresses all the rules of a particular society, and re-entry is denied.

This is a heartbreaking tale of those damned to live the high life in the Gilded (C)Age; and more specifically, about women's precarious footing within that cage.

... she was perhaps less to blame than she believed. Inherited tendencies had combined with early training to make her the highly specialized product she was: an organism as helpless out of its narrow range as the sea-anemone torn from the rock. She had been fashioned to adorn and delight; to what other end does nature round the rose-leaf and paint the hummingbird's breast? And was it her fault that the purely decorative mission is less easily and harmoniously fulfilled among social beings than in the world of nature? That it is apt to be hampered by material necessities or complicated by moral scruples?

With faint echoes of Tess of d'Urberville in my mind, one wonders if Lily too is not more sinned against than sinning -- for what could she have done, given the strictures imposed upon her; given the life she had been shaped for, by the earliest forces of her mother inculcating in her her duty to rebel against "dinginess".

Ruling the turbulent element called home was the vigorous and determined figure of a mother still young enough to dance her ball-dresses to rags, while the hazy outline of a neutral-tinted father filled an intermediate space between the butler and the man who came to wind the clocks. ... Lily was naturally proud of her mother's aptitude in this line: she had been brought up in the faith that, whatever it cost, one must have a good cook, and be what Mrs. Bart called "decently dressed." Mrs. Bart's worst reproach to her husband was to ask him if he expected her to "live like a pig".; and his replying in the negative was always regarded as a justification for cabling to Paris for an extra dress or two, and telephoning to the jeweller that he might, after all, send home the turquoise bracelet which Mrs. Bart had looked at that morning.

Having raised the little girl to not live "like a pig", why is one surprised when she adopts the very lifestyle into which she was indoctrinated?

We speak much, in our society, of the deleterious after-effects of child abuse. We acknowledge the reality of PTSD after prolonged abuse, poverty, neglect. And yet, we smirk behind our hankies when it is suggested that someone like Lily was also abused. It's not abuse, then, if one stuffs the child's mouth with money rather than dirt?

To indoctrinate, to brainwash, to instill day after day, into a young girl that she must never stoop to live like a "dingy" "pig" ... and then to blame her when she rises up to live above the pigs! How could she fight against the very air that she breathed?

This is an insidious piece of writing which presents itself as an innocent little book of manners; perhaps a simple morality tale, but in the end is aiming at upsetting the societal apple cart.

Wharton's luscious language is applied to this tale much in the same way one would apply a rich lather of sweet icing to a cake or exuberant amounts of make-up. In truth, it reminds me of the over-garnished, over-made-up precious little girls that are decorated by their mothers to appear in beauty pageants: there is too much of it, and at some level, it feels wrong. At the same time as this occurs, one has the sense of not being able to pull away because the spectacle is riveting.

Wharton's tale would not have worked so perfectly had her language, her style, been simpler and more direct. The dress fits the occasion, one could say. How could we feel the florid exuberance of Lily's life and the ultimate depression and lethargy into which she falls to her ruin if Wharton had not provided the means to juxtapose so vividly? It cannot be otherwise. show less

After finishing this book I feel all over the place. On a purely emotional level, the book is very tragic, sad and depressing. There is no hope, there is no happiness. Normally, that is reason enough for me warning someone off of a book but House of Mirth is an exception. Edith Wharton’s novel is a must read for so many reasons. It is a must read as a critical examination of upper class politics, specifically late 19th century New York – but I believe that Wharton’s portrayal of the upper crust has resonance for us now. House of Mirth is a must read as a critique of the role of women in the late 1800s and early 1900s, looking at their limited access to opportunities and the extreme negative impact of singularly grooming women as show more wives and holding that up as the apex of their lives.

"Isn't marriage your vocation? Isn't it what you're all brought up for?"

"I have tried hard – but life is difficult and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence."

And finally, this book is a must read when we consider failed opportunities and wonder if we should go for what we want, if we should tell people we love them.

The main character in House of Mirth is Lily Bart. Lily Bart has been raised to believe her only value is her beauty and that her main goal should be in securing wealth. Her sole method to secure wealth is through marriage; to a woman during this time period and culture, there is no other way.

"She was like a flower from which every bud had been nipped except the crowing blossom of her beauty."

Lily's family was wealthy but lost their money; eventually her parents died and Lily is left alone. She drifts from relative to relative, relying on their generosity to support her. And ever desperate to be in the upper portions of society, Lily befriends married women and is invited to parties, travels, and country homes; in exchange she assists the wealthy wives write thank you letters and plan parties. What is the fair exchange though? Lily is getting food, stay at luxurious locations, travel and presence at the best parties. The exchange is not fair because ultimately, Lily is giving up so much more; she is giving up her safety, her security and her emotional well-being. The wealthy and the married want Lily to be with them and at their parties due to her beauty, her wit and her ability to entertain – this talent is somehow a reflection on them. Lily is used as a toy and as a decoration.

The story opens when Lily is 29 years old. She is still supremely beautiful and despite her desiring wealth and independence, the reader is informed through various conversations that Lily has had a number of suitable offers of marriage, but she continues to decline them or push the men away once they want her.

"Sometimes I think it's just flightiness – and sometimes I think it's because, at heart, she despites the things she's trying for. And it's the difficulty of deciding that makes her such an interesting study."

What is clear that Lily is in a precarious situation; she seeks independence and has her own ideas of what she wants to do, but no power (or money) to do anything. Lily travels through social circles as if she was her own person, she makes plans on her own – and it is much mentioned that she acts like a married woman – but she does not have the protections of marriage. Lily is used not only as a toy at parties, but tools for couples, men, women to accomplish what society limits them from otherwise. Ending a marriage? Hiding their infidelities? Attempting an affair with a much younger and beautiful woman? Lily is alone, without protection from parents or a spouse and thus vulnerable to people who want to use her. House of Mirth describes in detail of the horrible things that can happen to a girl without choices and protection.

How Lily is controlled is through the threat of scandal; the scandal being sex and having sex – unmarried women were not supposed to have sex or lure married men into having sex with them. However, the irony is not missing – Lily's entire value is her physical appearance, her beauty and her allure to men which ultimately equates to her sexual desirability.

"When a girl's as good-looking as that she'd better marry; then no questions are asked. There is no provision as yet for the young woman who claims the privileges of marriage without assuming the obligations."

"If I were shabby no one would have me: a woman is asked out as much for her clothes as for herself."

"What is truth? Where a woman is concerned, it's story that's easiest to believe. In this case, it's a great deal easier to believe [the scandal] ."

At several points in the story, Lily's dire situation – one decorated with fancy clothes and that leave her staying in yachts and fine hotels -- is contrasted with working class women who are suffering. Wharton employs these scenes with a dual purpose; we see that despite Lily's complaining and worries others suffer much more than her. But interestingly, while these working class women are not beautiful or fashionable and it is obvious they are tired and over worked – they have several things that Lily does not. They have family, they have love, and they have some limited ability to earn an income. Although, each of the working class women Lily encounters – their lives rotate and turn on the men in their lives. We first meet a maid in a desperate situation because her husband was turned out of his job. We next meet a young working class mother who was not a virgin when her husband agreed to marry her, but thanks to a loving man – he married her anyway. So despite their "success" and their resources, lower class women were still subject to similar limitations and standards.

It is so interesting for me to think that this book was written contemporaneous to the time it was describing. Even more interesting, Edith Wharton came from a wealthy family and she ultimately divorced her husband. It is curious to think how much pressure Ms. Wharton experienced herself or witnessed. We now know that the early 1900s and late 1800s brought much change to society and suffering to various groups of people, so at first it seems hard to swallow or sympathize with such a jet setting crowd. Lily has quite a few faults. She was vain (how dare she understand her only value!), she was judgmental, and she was superficial. But did she have any other choice? This is what she was groomed for, raised for and even if she shirked it off, what else could she do? This book is very enjoyable and I highly recommend it. My one criticism is the descriptions and wordiness of the prose is not my thing, generally – but I was able to enjoy it.

"It is less mortifying to believe one's self unpopular than insignificant, and vanity prefers to assume that indifference is a latent form of unfriendliness." show less

"She was so evidently the victim of the civilization which had produced her, that the links of her bracelet seemed like manacles chaining her to her fate."

Lily Barton lives among the rich of New York City, the creme de la creme, yet she is not rich herself. She comes from a good family, has some rich relatives, yet she must rely on the good will of her friends, as well as her beautiful face, her charm, her wit, her ability to always do and say the "right" thing. Her mission in life is to find a rich man to marry, and her ability to do so is unquestioned. Yet she has somehow arrived at the age of 29 and is still unmarried. It seems that at the last minute before sealing the deal something always causes Lily to question whether marriage show more to a rich man is what she really wants. Then through a series of misteps Lily finds herself on the wrong side of society's arbiters, an outcast.
I first read this as a teenager, and remember loving it, but had no actual memory of the story. Wharton writes beautifully--I've always thought she was deserving of the Nobel in literature. Wharton was a member of the class that destroyed Lily, and she presents them to us warts and all.
This is one of her earliest books, and it is the book that established her literary reputation, as well as being one of the three or four most read/most famous of her works. Some of the themes of her earlier works are fully developed here. It is an exquisite book and it deserves a place in the literary canon. This is one of the rare books I think everyone should read.

Highly recommended
5 stars show less

this is the first non-contemporary book i've liked in a long while. it was so easy to read, in spite of how long ago it was written (1905) and is such a powerful statement about the lack of agency and choices women of the time had in their lives and over their lives. the 'bad' decisions that lily was making all throughout the book were all because she had no income, no way to get income without marrying, and had to do everything just to marry. her only prospect that she actually was interested in turned her down, so everything was just to survive and not to completely comprise her morality at the same time. and somehow,although it ends tragically this is a funny book, and the humor holds up.

i thought this was great. a really powerful show more snapshot of what living with no agency was like for (a certain class of white) women for so long.

"She had no tolerance for scenes which were not of her own making..." show less