John Gray (2) (1951–)

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Women are not nags constantly whinging for shsh, but, use talk to share their emotions; and men are not useless jerks, but, are emotionally more introverted and dislike being controlled. That's it. There: I have just done you a favour, I summed this all up so you don't have to go through its 300+ pages.

Addressing a wide audience, I could have forgiven John Gray for his simplicities; especially since, it's true, many will recognise themselves in some of the situations he show more describes. But considering it's a book the author himself, in a massive display of amazing humility and modesty, claims to be 'revolutionary for couples' (nothing less!) all this useless chit chat (and irritating narcissism) ends up by being frankly annoying. There's a few pearls of wisdom here and there (eg. guys, when your wife complains about anything and everything TO you it doesn't mean she is complaining ABOUT you...) but, all in all, it's below basic. Coming from a therapist with more than twenty years of experience, this is highly disappointing.

Don't believe the hype on that one. Stay clear. show less

This review comes to you from a staunch feminist.

A really excellent book about communication and relationships. It's helpful, when reading, to remember that Gray tells the reader that the gender roles he talks about are not strict--women might identify more with the "masculine" and men might identify with the "feminine." (Quotes used here because even these concepts may be problematic for some.) When reading, sometimes I gender-neutralized the text for myself, and sometimes I didn't. show more Sometimes I swapped the genders, and sometimes I didn't.

So, basically, when reading this book, don't get hung up on the advice being gender specific. If you can manage that, and embrace this advice in the spirit it is intended--to help people build and strengthen relationships and communication--you will get a lot out of it.

And as an aside, I question how many of these 1 star reviews actually read this book with an open mind--or read this book at all, for that matter. show less

Reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus felt like diving into one of those classic relationship books everyone references at some point. I can see why it became so popular, the way John Gray breaks down communication differences between men and women is simple, relatable, and honestly pretty entertaining. Some examples made me laugh because they reminded me so much of real life misunderstandings I’ve had or seen in other couples. It does make you pause and think about how often show more conflicts come from mismatched expectations rather than lack of love.

That said, the book definitely shows its age. Some of the ideas rely heavily on stereotypes about men being emotionally distant and women being overly expressive, which doesn’t always fit today’s relationships or individual personalities. At times, I found myself wishing for more nuance and less of a “men always do this, women always do that” framework. Still, behind the outdated bits, there are genuinely helpful insights about listening, giving space, and showing appreciation.

Overall, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus isn’t a perfect guide, but it’s an interesting and often insightful starting point for understanding communication and emotional needs in relationships. If you take it with a grain of salt, it can spark meaningful reflection and better conversations. I’d recommend it to anyone curious about classic relationship wisdom, just with an open mind and a modern perspective. show less

Whenever I read a book by John Gray I can’t help but wonder where he gets his wisdom from. I’ve often thought that he must have the key to some long lost source of wisdom or that he himself is an angel upon earth. He’s so in tune to peoples emotions, to the way our minds and souls work and has such an innate knowledge of how to best deal with relationships effectively and in a positive manner. After reading Children Are From Heaven I became even more convinced that this man has tapped show more into some long forgotten source of wisdom that all humans used to posses and his purpose here on Earth is to reacquaint us with this knowledge in order to change the world.

His advice on child rearing is simply wonderful. So full of love, compassion and gentleness, yet with the much needed structure that children need in order to thrive.

The whole premise of the book is based upon 5 positive parenting messages that we should relay to our children:

1) It’s ok to be different
2) It’s ok to make mistakes
3) It’s ok to express negative emotions
4) It’s ok to want more
5) It’s ok to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses

Five very simple messages, but so profound in the difference they make in ones life. During the course of the book John goes into great detail about each of these messages, why they are important, how to use them effectively and most important, what not to do. He believes that parenting is a learned skill and that most people know that what their parents did was not the proper, most compassionate way to do things, but simply don’t have the tools to improve upon them. Also that in an effort to use more compassion and less punishment some parents have gone too far in the other direction. Allowing their children to do anything and everything they want which only leads to disrespectful, out of control children. This book gives you the tools needed to become the parent you want to be.

Very much like attachment parenting, yet better in many ways. His methods lead to children who want to cooperate, who know how to effectively communicate and who are empowered to reach their full potential. It also leads to parents who understand that children are from heaven. That they come into this world with everything they need in order to be loving, compassionate, well balanced adults but lack the structure needed to get there. By using the methods presented here one becomes capable of a higher level of parenting. Of parenting in the most positive, helpful, compassionate sense. I recommend this book so highly I’d consider it a must have. show less