What Do You Say After You Say Hello?

by Eric Berne

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What Do You Say After You Say Hello? explains what makes the winners win, the losers lose, and the in-betweens so boring... In it, Dr Eric Berne reveals how everyone's life follows a predetermined script - a script they compose for themselves during early childhood. The script may be a sad one, it may be a successful one; it decides how a person will relate to his colleagues, what sort of person he will marry, how many children he will have, and even what sort of bed he will die in... What show more Do You Say After You Say Hello? demonstrates how each life script gets written, how it works and, more important, how anyone can improvise or change his script to make a happy ending... show less

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4 reviews
Eric Berne was a psychoanalyst who became well known in the 1970s for his system of "transactional analysis", the transactions in question being mostly those between a young child and its parents. He proposed various structures for this relationship based on the roles parent/adult/child that every person plays and presents life stories as scripts that can be good or bad.

This was his last book completed just before his death in 1970. It nicely ties together his main discoveries and provides a fascinating selection of "scripts" tracing them from their source and presenting them in his very effective parent/adult/child format. The system can be presented diagramatically and one needs to use it to get the most out of the book. However, once show more over this hurdle the system is very useful and effective. This reviewer has experimented with it on a number of occasions and it really does explain and predict in the way that he claims.

Berne's bad luck was that he wrote the book in 1970 when psychology was going through a bad patch with a flood of bizarre systems appearing. The good gets lost with the bad and T.A. now tends to be labelled as an outmoded California fashion related to Freudianism.

It's good to see that Berne arrives at his system empirically with his basic framework being bolstered with all the evidence he can find. He examines accents, voices, vocabulary, types of laughter, names, in fact anything he can lay his hands on to provide effective cross checks to his main structural analysis .

In the preface he says that the book is "primarily intended as an advanced textbook of psychotherapy, and professionals of different backgrounds should have no difficulty in translating into their own dialects the short and simple annals of transactional analysis. No doubt some non-professionals will read it too, and for that reason I have tried to make it accessible to them . It may demand thinking, but I hope it will not require deciphering."

This is a fair statement as it is a book that has to be read in its entirety to work. He uses handy memorable terms for scripts and their elements and the reader can become familiar with rackets , games and trading stamps along with other tools, and in the last chapter apply a detailed script check list. He also has a chapter that deals with the objections to his theory in an even-handed way.

This book is essential reading.
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A book my girlfriend thinks I should read.
Eric Berne, le fondateur de l'analyse transactionnelle, démonte dans ce livre les mécanismes qui sous-tendent nos actes et nos émotions. Parfois un peu ardu à lire pour quelqu'un comme moi qui ne connaissait l'analyse transactionnelle que de nom, il m'a plusieurs fois mise devant des évidences et m'a fait comprendre pas mal de choses sur ma façon d'être.
½
Librería 2. Estante 5

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26+ Works 4,936 Members
Eric Berne was born Leonard Bernstein on May 10, 1910, in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Berne earned an M.D. degree in 1935, and practiced psychiatry in New York. By 1943, he had become an U.S. citizen and took the name Eric Berne. After serving in the U.S. Army Medical Corps, he moved to Carmel, California, and in 1946 published his first book The show more Mind in Action. Berne is credited with developing a new approach to group psychotherapy known as Transactional Analysis. His 1964 exploration of human relationships, Games People Play, became popular with the public, but was received with cool skepticism by the professional psychiatric community. Berne went on to write more than a dozen books between 1964 and 1970. Berne died on July 15, 1970, in Monterey, California, having suffered two heart attacks within a few days. (Bowker Author Biography) show less

Some Editions

Bruno, Laura (Translator)
Spinola, Roberto (Translator)
Wagemuth, Wolfram (Translator)

Common Knowledge

Canonical title*
Que dites-vous après avoir dit bonjour ?
Original title
What do you say after you say hello?
Original publication date
1972
First words*
Que dire après avoir dit bonjour ?
Quotations
Each person designs his own life. Freedom gives him the power to carry out his own designs, and power gives him the freedom to interfere with the designs of others. . . . Each person decides in early childhood how he will liv... (show all)e and how he will die, and that plan, which he carries in his head wherever he goes, is called his script.
*Some information comes from Common Knowledge in other languages. Click "Edit" for more information.

Classifications

Genres
Nonfiction, General Nonfiction
DDC/MDS
301.11Society, Government, and CultureSocial sciences, sociology & anthropologySociology and anthropologyFormerly: Social psychologyInterpersonal and Group Relations
LCC
RC489 .T7 .B47MedicineInternal medicineInternal medicineNeurosciences. Biological psychiatry. NeuropsychiatryPsychiatryTherapeutics. Psychotherapy
BISAC

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681
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Reviews
4
Rating
(3.89)
Languages
10 — Dutch, English, French, German, Italian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Serbian, Spanish
Media
Paper, Ebook
ISBNs
34
ASINs
15