Sept Song .. .. 2022 God's Mum

God's Mum: I really must get Holy Walter back again to clean our windows, dear. They are getting so grubby this hot weather, dear.
https://www.librarything.com/topic/343219#7910657

God: They look fine to me. Is this coffee and angel cake for me? Thank you very much. I have been distracted watching Roxanne and her classmates. They are so funny, you could write a whole series about them.
https://www.librarything.com/topic/343219#7916033

God's Mum: What are those schoolgirls up to now, dear?

God: Having objected strongly that the law allows everyone to decide on their compulsory religious education at school ~ except themselves ~ they claim they are being treated like cattle. In the last assembly they stuck to the tune of the hymns but substituted MOO for each word.

God's Mum: I do hope they do not get into too much trouble, dear.

God: Me too.

God's Mum: She'll tell you bible stories that you've never heard before, on Librarything.
Each month is clearly shown and you can start anywhere you like. The aim is to bring you, precious reader, one new God's Mum fix every day, stolen from her blog.

For ease of reading, a new topic starts on the 1st of each month. To-date on LT we have:

1. In the beginning Nov 2021 .. . . Here
   
2. And then .. .. .. Dec 2021 .. .. .. Here
   
3. New year .. .. .. Jan 2022 .. .. .. Here
   
4. After that .. .. .. Feb 2022 .. .. .. Here
   
5. March on .. .. .. Mar 2022 .. .. .. Here
   
6. April time .. .. . April 2022 .. .. . Here
   
7. May Happy .. .. May 2022 .. .. .. Here
   
8. June boon .. .. .June 2022 .. .. .. Here
   
9. July Play .. .. .. July 2022 .. .. .. Here
   
10. August All .. .. August 2022 .. .. Here
    
11. Sept' Song .. .. Sept' 2022 . .. .. Here
    

    God's Mum: Everyone has the right to hold sincere religious beliefs and God's Mum has every right to mock them.

God's Mum: Disestablishment of the Church of England, (meaning its formal separation from the state), dear, is one of the primary objectives of the National Secular Society and has been since it's founding in 1866, dear. There are a wide variety of motivations for supporting this reform, dear.

https://www.secularism.org.uk/disestablishment/

God: That would mean ending the privileged position of the Church of England. It would be a popular place to start reform.

God's Mum: The result of this would be that the Church would no longer have privileged input into government but also that government could not involve itself in the running of the Church; both sides would gain autonomy, dear.

God: Even The Archbishop of Canterbury may be able to work out that this would make his church far more popular if they were not so privileged...

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church.🌼

And it came to pass: ~ “A good religion needs no government support. A good government needs no religious support.”

_{God's Mum©}

😎 Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ In the Vatican with Cardinal O'Malley recently: ~

Pope: I ordered expensive toilet rolls on the internet which were guaranteed to have all the words of wisdom from The Holy Bible printed on them.

Cardinal O'Malley: That's very interesting, your holy, holy, holy, ness, ness, ness, were you pleased with them?

Pope: Certainly not. They were just blank, normal toilet rolls.

Cardinal O'Malley: That sounds about right, what were you expecting?

https://www.librarything.com/topic/343219#7911344

God's Mum: When asked in 2018 whether disestablishment of the Church of England (meaning its formal separation from the state, dear) would be a disaster, the archbishop of Canterbury replied ‘No’. It should, he said, be ‘a decision for parliament and people’, dear.

God: The established status of that church in the 21st century can only be described as an anachronism. This is an organisation which, at its latest international conference, re-affirmed gay sex and marriage as sin. The monarch, as head of the church, is oath-bound to uphold this dehumanising doctrine. State-sanctioned homophobia can have no place in the tolerant, pluralist society that Britain is today.

God's Mum: Be under no doubt of the power this institution wields in UK society, dear. Twenty-six bishops, by virtue of their office, sit unelected in the House of Lords. They vote on legislation that affects everyone and have the ear of decision-makers in the highest echelons of Westminster, dear. These are the 26 bishops who voted against the legalisation of gay marriage. These are the 26 bishops who continue to oppose compassionate and rigorously safeguarded reform to assisted dying, dear. These are the 26 bishops who continue to oppose the publics wish for normal shopping hours on Sundays, dear.

God: Indeed, far from acting as the moral compass for England, the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse found the church prioritised its own reputation over the “physical, emotional and spiritual well-being” of children sexually abused at the hands of its members.

God's Mum: The church is, of course, welcome to implement its political agenda through the democratic channels that everyone else in that country is subject to, dear. But the UK is both more irreligious and religiously diverse than ever before. Only 2% of Britons regularly attend Anglican services, dear.

God: In a country that claims to uphold the equal treatment of all its citizens, the existence of a state established church is a deep anomaly. It is high time it was consigned to the annals of history.

_{Wording based on National Secular Society.}

👩🏿‍🦰 👩 Roxanne is an average pupil in an average school. 👩‍🦰 👩🏿‍🦰

She feels she can get all the religious instruction she desires from her parents, the public library, the internet or even the boring local church if she chooses. Her class do not intend to have someone else's guesswork rammed down their throats against their will at school.

Teacher: When Joshua was fighting the battle of Jericho...

Roxanne: Are the class to take it that you are quoting your Holy Bible here?. Further, do you claim to be a Christian and do you hold Sincere Religious Beliefs?

Teacher: Yes, All of that is correct.

Roxanne: So before we proceed further, what made you choose Christianity over all the other thousands of religions?

Teacher: I was born a Christian.

Roxanne: Indicating that you never had the chance to choose to be anything else. It is not even your own guesswork you are trying of brainwash us with, it is your parent's Guesswork.

https://www.librarything.com/topic/343881#7918793

* * *
_{Credit: God's Mum©}

God's Mum: Now that Boris has been dumped out of UK government, dear, do you think his 26 unelected bishops will be kicked out too, dear?

God: It would be a mistake to do away with the 26 unelected bishops sitting in the house of lords as part of Boris Johnson's government.

God's Mum: But they are evidently very unpopular with the population, dear.

God: Exactly. Their unpopularity results in only 2% of the people attending church. That leaves the church of England "nowhere", which is the only safe place to keep them.

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church.🌼

"Dad, dad, I don't want to go to church on Sunday."

"Why ever not, Henry?"

" That strange creepy man out in front wearing such a weird black and white drag outfit, dad. He makes us all sing the words: "My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord", dad."

" What's wrong with that, Henry?"

" But dad, we both know, no-one's eyes have seen anything of the sort, dad. Then the hymn ends up with "his truth is marching on." I can't tell lies like that, dad."

" I've never thought of it like that, Henry."

https://www.librarything.com/topic/342043#7867770

_{God's Mum©}

God's Mum: In the United States, dear, the first clause in the Bill of Rights states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.” dear.

God: Jamie Raskin (Rep') said:
"You put your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the Constitution.
You didn't put your hand on the Constitution and swear to uphold the Bible."

God's Mum: Profound and clear words from Rep. Jamie Raskin, dear

God: Well, they don't seem to be clear enough for some people.

_{Thanks to margd, LibraryThing. https://www.librarything.com/topic/339495#7925335}

God's Mum: The Pope and the Vatican have decreed that former Pope John Paul 1 can now become a saint, dear.

God: Oh goody! Why is that? Will he get extra wages?

God's Mum: Well, hardly dear. He's been dead for years, dear. The reason is because ~ now then, you are not to laugh, dear ~ It is because he has performed a miracle after his death while he has been up in heaven, dear. The pope said a special prayer (in Latin) and got confirmation that he could proceed, dear.

God: And this is the stated reason given by the pope with no embarrassment whatsoever? And Lo; "there was great rejoicing and fornication!..."

💙God's Mum: Book Choice of the Month. ~ September 2022💙

https://www.librarything.com/work/8090232/book/218693147
Monty Python's Life of Brian, The (of Nazareth): Screenplay
by Graham Chapman (Author)

No subject is too sacred for the Monty Python gang as shown by their previous movie on King Arthur and the grail. So doing a film on the Messiah was the next logical step. We follow the life of Brian Cohen, who is constantly mistaken for Jesus of Nazareth. This book includes the script and still shots from the movie. The other half of the book (in tete-e-beche style) is a mishmash of zany Python humor with illustrations by Terry Gilliam along with scenes cut from the movie. The section about the author of the book is in Latin. And it’s all downhill from there, with sections on how to accept a Granny, excerpts from Brian’s sermons, and sections of the diaries of Terry Jones and Michael Palin. The section about Michael sharing a caravan with John Cleese is hysterical!

If you are easily offended, this book is not for you. Also, seeing the movie first as well as the DVD of the oratorio, Not the Messiah, he’s a naughty boy, makes the book more enjoyable. Then you can sing “The bright side of life” along with the Python gang!

flagfdholt 💙💙💙💙 (4 stars) LibraryThing.

* * *
"If you can sell 'em god and the bible, you can sell 'em anything."

Monty Python.

God's Mum: You would think, dear, that the war in Ukraine would have shown the whole world that religion is just a waste of time, dear.

God: The Kremlin cannot get used to the idea that, drunk with power, they are wasting Russian lives on a stupid pursuit. All they can think of is big hats and rows of medals.

God's Mum: It would appear that those things are their religion, dear.

God: That is very true. They all need to be very careful. There are a lot of sixth floor windows in Moscow...

😎 Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass: ~ From a conversation overheard in the Kremlin, Moscow:

Putin's Mum: He's not the messiah he's just a very naughty boy.

_{God's Mum©}

😎 Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

Somewhere in the desert in fantasyland, near a mountain:

Moses: Now hear this: I have been up on the mountain and The Good Lord has told me th......

Jake: Just a moment here. Why did you go up there on your own? Why doesn't God come down here and speak to all of us?

Moses: God moves in mysterious ways. He has told me t.....

Jake: Your god speaks to you but will not speak to the rest of us and you expect us to worship him and follow his every word? We are not ALL completely mindless, you know, Moses.

* * *
_{God's Mum©}

👩🏿‍🦰 👩 Roxanne is an average pupil in an average school. 👩‍🦰 👩🏿‍🦰

She feels she can get all the religious instruction she desires from her parents, the public library, the internet or even the boring local church if she chooses. Her class do not intend to have someone else's guesswork rammed down their throats

Teacher: Good afternoon class. Today we will be talking about the dove returning to Noah on the Ark with a branch with fresh leaves on it.

Roxanne: We have already established that the Ark story is bullshit.

Teacher: If you use that word in my classroom we are all headed for big trouble, Roxanne.

Roxanne: That's much better, thank you. English Language is something we all enjoy talking about so now you've come over to our side. What would you propose as a more descriptive word than bullshit?

Teacher: Um, errhm! ...

https://www.librarything.com/topic/343881#7924767

💙The Life Of Brian, Monty Python.💙

God's Mum: I've just got to say that the Book-of-the-Month for September 2022, is wonderful, dear. If you have not already read this mighty work, now is the time to do so. It will keep you laughing all the way through to next spring, dear. https://www.librarything.com/work/8090232/218693147

God: Reading it now. Very funny, has me laughing all the time. More wisdom than all the holy books.

God's Mum: Eggs and bacon with toast for breakfast, dear. It says in this newspaper, dear, that Patriarch Kirill, head of the Russian Orthodox Church has been married several times, dear.

God: Eggs and bacon! Thank you. Yes that is true. When Kirill was head of department in the KGB his first wife died from eating deadly mushrooms. Very sad. His second wife died of multiple injuries.

God's Mum: Multiple injuries, dear? How come?

God: She wouldn't eat the mushrooms, and they didn't live on the sixth floor...

God's Mum: In the UK faith groups will receive "increasingly significant" amounts of public money to run community services such as healthcare, MPs have said, dear.

https://www.secularism.org.uk/news/2022/09/expect-shift-of-healthcare-to-places-...

God: A dishonest government introducing religion through the back door.
That report launched last week, says the public should expect faith groups to be "increasingly involved in the leadership and management of 'secular' referrals and key worker care in the community", and to receive "increasingly significant amounts of public funding to do this".

God's Mum: But a 2016 polling by the Oasis Foundation found 65% of UK people have no confidence in church groups running "crucial social provisions such as healthcare" with only 2% expressing a lot of confidence, dear.

God: Yet the UK government (with it's 26 unelected bishops) is forging ahead to pass it's disastrous National Health Service onto the failing Church of England for them to administer. Perfect formula for disaster, not unlike their compulsory religion in schools fiasco.

God's Mum: Conservative MP Danny Kruger dismissed concerns regarding faith-based public services as "faith illiteracy" and "faith phobia", dear. After all, it's only 62% of the voters,dear.

😎 Laughter is the best medicine.😎

"Captain Noah, sir." (Smart salute)

"Yes, wife, what is this time of night?"

"You were complaining about all the rabbits running around the ark, Sir."

"Quite so. Why are there so many of them?"

"It seems to be the will of God, Sir."

"If there really is a God, I would have expected him to have the decency to warn me ...

https://www.librarything.com/topic/343219#7906612

😎 Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ In the Vatican with Cardinal O'Malley recently: ~ https://www.librarything.com/topic/343881#7922097

Cardinal O'Malley: You ordered expensive toilet rolls for the Vatican, advertised as having all the words of wisdom from The Holy Bible printed on them, your scrumptiousness?

Pope: Certainly did. When they arrived they were just blank, normal, white toilet rolls, God knows why! What a swindle, The Lord will smite someone. We now have 10,000 toilet rolls that we don't want.

Carinal O'Malley: Maybe we could distribute them to the poor, your wonderfulnessness?

Pope: Do the poor have toilets, then?

https://www.librarything.com/topic/343881#7922097

📜📜ChurchSpeak 📜ChurchSpeak 📜ChurchSpeak📜📜

Every month God's Mum features an item of ChurchSpeak. These are unedited passages from church leaders in such obscure church language that they are unintelligible to mere humans. A clear demonstration that * The God Industry * is unable to communicate in the real world.

Rep. Lauren Boebert said humanity is in its 'last days' and Christians should 'rise up,' invoking Christian nationalist imagery that's linked to violence
Kelsey Vlamis Sep 18, 2022, 12:06 PM
Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colo., addresses attendees during the Turning Point USA Student Action Summit, Saturday, July 23, 2022, in Tampa, Fla.

https://www.businessinsider.com/lauren-boebert-christians-should-rise-up-humanit....

Boebert echoed Christian nationalist talking points and invoked the end times in a recent speech. She said it's time for Christians to "rise up" and "influence this nation as we were called to do."
Christian nationalism experts say such rhetoric has been linked to violence.

"It's time for us to position ourselves and rise up and take our place in Christ and influence this nation as we were called to do," the Colorado Republican told the crowd at a Christian conference held by the Truth and Liberty Coalition in Woodland Park, Colorado, on September 9. "We need God back at the center of our country," she added.

Boebert heavily quoted scripture in her speech. She framed the formation of the US as divinely inspired and described the founding fathers as men of faith who were motivated by God — contentions that have been challenged by historians.

"We know that we are in the last of the last days," Boebert later said, referencing the belief held by some evangelical Christians that Jesus will return after a period of tribulation, or great suffering, and save believers. "But it's not a time to complain about it. It's not a time to get upset about it. It's a time to know that you were called to be a part of these last days. You get to have a role in ushering in the second coming of Jesus."

Boebert's comments expressing an intrinsic tie between the US and Christianity aren't new: In June she said she was "tired of this separation of church and state junk" and that "the church is supposed to direct the government." But by invoking the end times, Boebert is tapping into a side of Christian nationalism that has been associated with violence.

"We found in our book that among Americans that embrace Christian nationalism, we see increasingly this embrace of a premillennialist interpretation of the end times, where there will be a tribulation but Christ will take away the faithful," said Andrew Whitehead.

Whitehead said Boebert was taking a specific and relatively new interpretation of the end times and melding it with the idea that Christians are supposed to have an influential role in public life. He said her view wasn't necessarily about saving the nation, but about Christians countering the forces of evil while they still can and remaining faithful up until the end.

"Now the apocalypse is because if we don't get our people in, it's an apocalypse," Anthea Butler, chair of the University of Pennsylvania's Department of Religious Studies, told the outlet.

Though Boebert's comments aren't new among proponents of Christian nationalism, such rhetoric has rarely, if ever, been deployed by a member of Congress.

Comment: In short: Here is another load of religious bullshit for you...

God's Mum: There are 2 kinds of people living on the planet Earth, dear.

God: Only two? That's an interesting idea.

God's Mum: There are those who say:
“I will believe it when I see it”, dear.
And those who say:
“I believe it, therefore I see it”, dear.

God: That is religion in a nutshell:
The former exercise caution and rationality.
The latter are the cause of much grief in the world.
* * *
_{Stolen from: Hughe says: September 21, 2022 at 10:16 pm}

👩🏿‍🦰 👩 Roxanne is an average pupil in an average school. 👩‍🦰 👩🏿‍🦰

She feels she can get all the religious instruction she desires from her parents, the public library, the internet or even the boring local church if she chooses. Her class do not intend to have someone else's guesswork rammed down their throats against their will at school:

Teacher: When you have true religion, God speaks to you in your prayers.

Roxanne: Are you telling Ann, Mora, me and the rest of this class that you can speak to God? And God speaks back to you? Because that is not what we have found, so we think there is something wrong inside your head.

Teacher: You have no way of knowing whether God speaks to me or not.

Roxanne: You are saying that your god speaks to you, which none of us believe. He certainly doesn't speak to us. What kind of god does that? We think your god should be taken and stuffed where the sun doesn't shine...

* * *
https://www.librarything.com/topic/343881#7931300
_{God's Mum©}

God's Mum: A UK school’s application for non-Christian assemblies has been denied by draconian government authority, dear. Even though over two thirds of the parents are not religious and chose the school for that reason, dear.
The National Secular Society has called for an end to laws requiring Christian worship in schools after a school's application to remove the provision was denied.

God: An act of desperation by The Church of England and * The God Industry *. Poulner Infant School in Hampshire said it was not appropriate for its collective worship to be Christian in character as two thirds of parents do not identify as Christian.

God's Mum The school argued an exemption was necessary in order to enable the school to deliver broader and more inclusive assemblies, dear. Whilst it felt collective worship was valuable, the school felt its provision should be "reflective of the beliefs of the children here". It said parents who have no religion are "actually the largest single group" and many parents purposefully seek out Poulner Infant School as alternative to nearby faith schools, dear.

God: The school also said the current requirements breached the human rights of its pupils, citing "the rights respecting approach promoted by The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child". The UK is the only western democracy which legally imposes worship in schools.

God's Mum: A meeting denied the school's application for exemption, judging the requirements on the character of collective worship to be appropriate because a third of parents identify as Christian, dear. Over half the meeting's members are appointed as representatives of religious denominations , dear.

God: This case highlights the pressing need to end the outdated laws on collective worship in schools. The government should scrap the laws on collective worship to ensure the human rights of all citizens are respected.

https://www.secularism.org.uk/news/2022/08/schools-application-for-non-christian... application for non-Christian assemblies denied.

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church.🌼

And it came to pass: ~ "He who dares not offend cannot be honest".

Thomas Paine

https://www.secularism.org.uk/opinion/2022/09/an-exciting-and-unique-introductio...

I don't make this stuff up.

Every conversation posted here in September God's Mum is a genuine overheard snippet passed on to me by Holy Walter the bisexual angel who cleans God's Mum's and The Vatican's windows.

Sworn on Cardinal Pell's Holy Bible. Oct 2018.
See: "Come home Cardinal Pell".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin

* * *

NOTE: Framing arguments in religious terms is unlikely to resonate widely, as it's a language few people speak.

_{God's Mum©}

God's Mum: I found this lovely cartoon on-line, dear. Wondered if you could shine any light on it, dear. The little God certainly looks like you, dear, but who are the others supposed to be, dear?

God: I remember this! I was out for a walk in Florida with the angel, Poison Ivy, you remember her? We stopped to talk to the lady in the big shirt and a very nice guy with glasses who was sketching all the time. We were only there for a couple of minutes, he must have made a lightning sketch, very clever and talented...

👩🏿‍🦰 👩 Roxanne is an average pupil in an average school. 👩‍🦰 👩🏿‍🦰

She feels she can get all the religious instruction she desires from her parents, the public library, the internet or even the boring local church if she chooses. Her class do not intend to have someone else's guesswork rammed down their throats against their will at school:

Teacher: Today I want to speak to you about living your life in Jesus Christ and following the teachings of glory through The Holy Bible.

Roxanne: That is going to be very difficult for the whole class.

Teacher: It is a very simple task just to listen and learn.

Roxanne: We've just come from a brilliant lecture on Evolution, science and logic. How are we supposed to quickly adjust back into your iron-age religious nonsense?...

https://www.librarything.com/topic/343881#7938597
_{God's Mum©}

God's Mum: King Charles the Third's coronation in Westminster Abbey next year will be a deeply religious affair, dear. He will be anointed with holy oil, blessed, and consecrated by the archbishop of Canterbury. Holy Communion will be celebrated, dear.

God: The UK has the only monarch left in Europe still crowned in a religious ceremony.

God's Mum: It's a peculiar way to inaugurate a head of state in one of the least religious countries on Earth, dear.

God: The UK's religious landscape has changed out of all recognition since the last coronation. They now have a 72% non-religious majority and a significant proportion of citizens who follow non-Christian religions.

God's Mum: What could possibly go wrong, dear? ... Why are you laughing, dear?

God: Holy oil! ... Holy oil! ... HOLY OIL. It's just too funny to think about...

* * *
Thanks, everyone, for being with God's Mum all the way through September. A new topic,
"💛 Today 💛 Octo' Okay" (October) takes over. See Here

See you there.

Special thanks to our readers who suggested adding captions to Don Addis' wonderful cartoon used in God's Mum heading. Job done! Your irreverent gags, quotes and ideas messaged to our wall are wonderful, please keep 'em coming. If you don't see them used, hang on, they almost certainly will be soon. Our tiny team of imps have a lot of fun reading and adapting as requested.