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John Dies at the End

by David Wong

Other authors: See the other authors section.

Series: John Dies At The End (1)

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
3,6771763,496 (3.76)153
Fiction. Horror. Science Fiction. Humor (Fiction.) HTML:

Stop.

You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.

No, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you.

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.

The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this: the drug is called Soy Sauce, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.

I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: none of this was my fault.

.
… (more)
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» See also 153 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 175 (next | show all)
It was a book, undeniably exciting and unexpected. ( )
  LaPhenix | Jul 8, 2024 |
I had a lot of fun reading this one. It's legitimately scary, but ridiculous and funny as well. Heck, there are even parts that were touching. Mostly, it's a very fun ride. Will probably have to check out the sequel. ( )
  rknickme | Mar 31, 2024 |
When a new drug called “Soy Sauce” is unleashed on a group of unsuspecting users, its effects start a mind-altering chain reaction that has those impacted wondering what’s real, who is Korrok, and what is his endgame. Creatures, alternate universes, and strange occurrences threaten friends John and Dave as they try to figure out how to save those they care about most.

Witty, strange, and well-written John Dies at the End starts promisingly enough as Dave sits down with journalist Arnie Blondstone to tell a fever dream-sounding series of events since ingesting “The Sauce.” The writing is imaginative, the banter quick-witted, and the dialogue is top-notch. Plotting, however, stalls a little over halfway through the novel.

The last forty percent or so is perhaps a few too many strange occurrences that made me wonder if there would be a resolution. I won’t say questions are answered in the end, but the story comes back around in a way that feels well thought out and interesting enough to pull me into the next novel in the series.

A fun read recommended for fans of The Tales from a Gas Station series, which is similarly humorous and horrific without the mid-novel lull. I’ll be taking a break from the John Dies at the End series before jumping into book two, but I’m curious what Dave and John might get up to next. 3.5 stars rounded to 4 for excellent writing. ( )
  bfrisch | Mar 3, 2024 |
I remembered only the premise from reading this back in 2009. What I'd apparently forgotten is the directionless, episodic nature of these tales, and how they don't ever seem to sustain their energy or resolve satisfyingly. Also the frequent, casual use of the word "retarded."

Pargin (Wong) makes a lot of progress as a writer between this and "If This Book Exists...." I'd intended to relisten to the whole series, but this is making me re-think. ( )
  yarmando | Feb 1, 2024 |
I am so glad I read the sequel to this first. This one's plot wanders so much by comparison, and the comic rhythm isn't as solid. ( )
  Treebeard_404 | Jan 23, 2024 |
Showing 1-5 of 175 (next | show all)
John Dies at the End is a novel written by David Wong (Pseudonym for Jason Parguin) that was first published 2007 by Permuted Press.
The book really cannot be described as horror, nor is it really a thriller. There are elements of Sci Fi, Noir, Hard Boiled Detective, Comedy and a few other genres. The book in turns reminds me of Raymond Chandler, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Charles Burn’s comic books, The work of the Church of Subgenus, Jack Chick Tracts, The Outer Limits TV show and more. There are times when the work has stupid dick jokes and quips that make me roll my eyes, other times I’m pasting post it notes to mark a poignant passage. This is possibly the most mixed up and ADHD work I have ever read. (I have ADHD so I can say that.)
I enjoyed the work immensely as I have all of this authors other works. I can’t say I am a rabid fan, but I liked this author’s works enough to seek it out and read it all so that speaks, Pun unintended- Volumes.
I had some times where I was impatient with the book, but eventually these parts always paid off. I was dismayed as the long list of racial slurs that litter this work, some more than others. This book may offend some people, so warning. I don’t mean just a few but some racial slurs I won’t repeat are said so often it made me take pause. I don’t believe that the work is racist in any obvious sense, but there is something there when the words are used so often that it starts to make me feel uncomfortable. Some of Wong’s fans may say I’m making too much of it, but if you have not read the book I want you to know about that beforehand. The fact that a non-Chinese man uses a Chinese name as a kind of fun Pseudonym may offend others as well so that’s something to ponder. I’ve wondered why this author continues to keep the Pseudonym. Only he can say.
I do recommend this work to anyone, it’s very well written and fun. I enjoyed it immensely.
“Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End
The book was followed by a sequel, This Book Is Full of Spiders, in 2012.
added by deanjonesshow | editmy own view, Dean Jones (May 25, 2018)
 
JDATE is the rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares; David is a consistently hilarious narrator whose one-liners and running commentary are sincere in a way that makes the horrors he confronts even more unsettling. Plot-wise, for a good two-thirds of the book, it seems like Wong is more interested in piling on weirder and weirder threats than fitting the pieces together, and while his invention never flags, the accumulation of horrors eventually threatens to turn the narrative into a breathless series of “And then?”s. Still, the tone and white-knuckle pacing cover up a lot of sins, and Wong manages to pull everything together for a finale that’s both stomach-churningly freaky and oddly moving. It’s the sort of thing that leaves readers breathless and nauseous, but surprisingly hungry for more.
 

» Add other authors (2 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
David Wongprimary authorall editionscalculated
Arnold, RichDesignersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Grom, RobCover designersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Spear, GeoffCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming you do not go utterly mad in the attempt.
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Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.
Let's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.
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Fiction. Horror. Science Fiction. Humor (Fiction.) HTML:

Stop.

You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.

No, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you.

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.

The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this: the drug is called Soy Sauce, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.

I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: none of this was my fault.

.

No library descriptions found.

Book description
STOP.You should not have touched this book with your bare hands.NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late.They’re watching you.My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye.The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this:The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do.Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we’ll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity.I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this is was my fault.

In this reissue of an Internet phenomenon originally slapped between two covers in 2007 by indie Permutus Press, Wong—Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego—adroitly spoofs the horror genre while simultaneously offering up a genuinely horrifying story. The terror is rooted in a substance known as “soy sauce,” a paranormal psychoactive that opens video store clerk Wong's—and his penis-obsessed friend John's—minds to higher levels of consciousness. Or is it just hell seeping into the unnamed Midwestern town where Wong and the others live? Meat monsters, wig-wearing scorpion aberrations and wingless white flies that burrow into human skin threaten to kill Wong and his crew before infesting the rest of the world. A multidimensional plot unfolds as the unlikely heroes drink lots of beer and battle the paradoxes of time and space, as well as the clichés of first-person-shooter video games and fantasy gore films. Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next. 

David Wong is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, online humorist, National Lampoon contributor, and editor-in-chief of Cracked.com.
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